Forgive Them For They Know Not What They Do.... !?

greebly

Patron with Honors
I for one will be there to support whoever you are, wherever you are, along with all our fellow exes who feel the same way.

Thank you for being there ESMB... you have helped me gain the courage to finally begin to speak out. It has only taken me over 20 years... 20 years too long. x

Some strong and powerful words m'Lady, and thankyou for making the decision in the hope it helps just one other person.

If you need any help or need to talk, any person here I'm sure will do so at the drop of a hat.

And for all those still lurking and reading all these years, your story is just as valuable. In respect to any fear or worry you may still have there are many roads to take these days, it is 2011 not 1981 anymore:)
 

lotus

stubborn rebel sheep!
Thank you for being there ESMB... you have helped me gain the courage to finally begin to speak out. It has only taken me over 20 years... 20 years too long. x

Many thank's for having the courage to go back in your memory, run again the suffering of these cruelty toward you as a child and tell it to help others.

Your testimony has a special value as many ex-scientologists ask for years if it's true that there was children torture on the Apollo
under Elrong command.
There is only one or 2 people who spoke. You bring light to what has been run on people on the horror ship.

There is many people here you can trust and understand what you have gone through. They help each other to heal.

May your arrival here be a beginning to a journey into healing.
May your life out of this cult be generous and kind with you.

Thank you for your courage

:arose:
 
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vumba

Danielle Chamberlin
Thank you to Greebly for a 2.5 hr phone call to hear my some of my story this week. This has led to me definitely deciding to begin to write my story, which I will do once I have put the timelines together.

There are so many people still "In" who are now second or third generation Scientologists who will never get to hear what we have to say unless we can reach them somehow. They don't know anything else. I was a child of Scientology, and wonder sometimes how much of how this informed who and what I am today. They truly seem unaware of what real life is about, and fed the tripe of how dangerous it is in the Wog World.

It is such a sadness to me and grieves me deeply that the abuses still continue, and the children of Scientologists in the Sea Org who are now grown up will never know anything else. Does anyone know if they ever get to see what we post if they are not allowed TV and papers? Even DM is a product of having grown up as a child in Scientology, moulded and bent into the shape he has become today, truly believing he is the Master of all he purveys.

I would like to play my small part to try to stop these abuses. I was on the Apollo; I was an RPF's RPF guinea pig for LRH; I was locked up in the chain locker of the ship for three days; I was on this ship for a year with no education, no parents aged 11 to 12; I was punched in the face trying to stop a fight between the Captain and a member of staff; I was raped at aged 14 whilst in the Sea Org at AOSHUK; I, and all my fellow S.O. members who weren't lucky enough to have "outside" money went hungry; many of the girls who had painful monthly cycles were never allowed to take painkillers..... Calmag ring a bell anyone!

How bad do our stories have to be for someone who can make a difference sits up and takes notice? How many beatings, punches, recommended abortions, being held against one's will, restrictions of liberty and free speech, empty pockets, lack of pay, humiliations, cow towing, dunkings, physical exhaustion. We must stand up and be listened to. Someone told me recently that I had been declared. Was news to me but no surprise, and certainly will be made more public the more public I become!

I for one will be there to support whoever you are, wherever you are, along with all our fellow exes who feel the same way.

Thank you for being there ESMB... you have helped me gain the courage to finally begin to speak out. It has only taken me over 20 years... 20 years too long. x

Thank you, thank you for all your support and to everyone who has responded. The legacy of what it used to be like in the S.O. made me slightly nervous about logging in again to see what the responses to my posting would be! I expected some sort of backlash, but instead found love, caring and sympathy. THANK YOU !:heartflower:
 

Gadfly

Crusader
Thank you, thank you for all your support and to everyone who has responded. The legacy of what it used to be like in the S.O. made me slightly nervous about logging in again to see what the responses to my posting would be! I expected some sort of backlash, but instead found love, caring and sympathy. THANK YOU !:heartflower:

Yes, many of us care for people. We just didn't very much like the people we each became and we each were when under the strong influence of the oppressive Church of Scientology environment.

I tend to be a "different person" depending on my surrounding environment. Knowing THAT, I now act to control where I find myself. Therefore, I keep myself OUT of toxic environments, both physical and mental/emotional. And, as far as people are concerned, I prefer to immerse myself in positive, healthy, non-judgmental, and non-ideological environments. And thus, that takes Scientology OUT of the equation!
 

vumba

Danielle Chamberlin
Yes, many of us care for people. We just didn't very much like the people we each became and we each were when under the strong influence of the oppressive Church of Scientology environment.

I tend to be a "different person" depending on my surrounding environment. Knowing THAT, I now act to control where I find myself. Therefore, I keep myself OUT of toxic environments, both physical and mental/emotional. And, as far as people are concerned, I prefer to immerse myself in positive, healthy, non-judgmental, and non-ideological environments. And thus, that takes Scientology OUT of the equation!

Hear, Hear! I totally get what you mean. I don't know if I would have had the awareness level that I do without having had auditing or not, but whatever it is, I am very aware too of toxic environments and take myself out of them. I am still very aware of being aware, and do find that I pick up on upsets people might be feeling; perhaps this is just normal human empathy rather than a legacy of the Tech being drummed into one? Of perhaps it is those individuals who are already aware of being aware who seek out organisations that might offer some solution to life, such as Scn or any other "religion" for that matter in the first place?
:yes:
 

smartone

My Own Boss
Welcome Vumba.

I can't wait to hear your story. Don't bother about time lines etc. Just let it all tumble out. You won't half feel much better for it.

Mind you, I've got room to talk. I haven't posted my story yet. Still too painful for me to dig it all up again.

Also, don't be afraid of anything. Nobody can touch you now.
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Hear, Hear! I totally get what you mean. I don't know if I would have had the awareness level that I do without having had auditing or not, but whatever it is, I am very aware too of toxic environments and take myself out of them. I am still very aware of being aware, and do find that I pick up on upsets people might be feeling; perhaps this is just normal human empathy rather than a legacy of the Tech being drummed into one? Of perhaps it is those individuals who are already aware of being aware who seek out organisations that might offer some solution to life, such as Scn or any other "religion" for that matter in the first place?
:yes:

This is one of the extra challenges for generational scientologists trying to make sense of their upbringing and life. Family values and 'tech' are intertwined and it can make life awfully complex sometimes. When you pick up on upsets in other people, the immediate reaction can be "they are PTS/have MUs" etc etc and it puts a barrier of pre judgement between you and the person, for example. Empathy and awareness is actually more common than any scientologist knows and is something I have come across in the most unexpected places in my road to a normal life. :)
 

Veda

Sponsor
Thank you to Greebly for a 2.5 hr phone call to hear my some of my story this week. This has led to me definitely deciding to begin to write my story, which I will do once I have put the timelines together.

There are so many people still "In" who are now second or third generation Scientologists who will never get to hear what we have to say unless we can reach them somehow. They don't know anything else. I was a child of Scientology, and wonder sometimes how much of how this informed who and what I am today. They truly seem unaware of what real life is about, and fed the tripe of how dangerous it is in the Wog World.

It is such a sadness to me and grieves me deeply that the abuses still continue, and the children of Scientologists in the Sea Org who are now grown up will never know anything else. Does anyone know if they ever get to see what we post if they are not allowed TV and papers? Even DM is a product of having grown up as a child in Scientology, moulded and bent into the shape he has become today, truly believing he is the Master of all he purveys.

I would like to play my small part to try to stop these abuses. I was on the Apollo; I was an RPF'ss RPF guinea pig for LRH; I was locked up in the chain locker of the ship for three days; I was on this ship for a year with no education, no parents aged 11 to 12; I was punched in the face trying to stop a fight between the Captain and a member of staff; I was raped at aged 14 whilst in the Sea Org at AOSHUK; I, and all my fellow S.O. members who weren't lucky enough to have "outside" money went hungry; many of the girls who had painful monthly cycles were never allowed to take painkillers..... Calmag ring a bell anyone!

How bad do our stories have to be for someone who can make a difference sits up and takes notice? How many beatings, punches, recommended abortions, being held against one's will, restrictions of liberty and free speech, empty pockets, lack of pay, humiliations, cow towing, dunkings, physical exhaustion. We must stand up and be listened to. Someone told me recently that I had been declared. Was news to me but no surprise, and certainly will be made more public the more public I become!

I for one will be there to support whoever you are, wherever you are, along with all our fellow exes who feel the same way.

Thank you for being there ESMB... you have helped me gain the courage to finally begin to speak out. It has only taken me over 20 years... 20 years too long. x

:goodposting:

Hi Vumba, and welcome to ESMB.

Here's a bunch of links, some of which might be interesting. :)

Religion/Spirituality after leaving Scientology:

http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?21354-Religion-Spirituality-After-Leaving-Scientology

Swami Vivekananda speaking in 1893:

http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?24607-Swami-Vivekananda-speaking-in-1893

Danny Kaye conducts the New York Philharmonic:

http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?22577-Danny-Kaye-conducts-NY-Philharmonic

The Incredible String Band:

http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?5288-Incredible-String-Band

The Sole Source Myth:

http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?510-The-Sole-Source-Myth

Table of Contents, Psycho-Politics Revisited:

http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?2697-Table-of-Contents-Psychopolitics-revisited

Human Cat Perch:

http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?23339-Human-Cat-Perch

How to hook up your home theater:

http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?20968-How-to-hook-up-your-home-theater
 

Emma

Con te partirò
Administrator
Welcome Vumba! :biggrin:

Take your time. Chill out. Relax and post what you want when you want. We are all hanging out to read your story but there truly is no pressure.

I'm glad you are here.
 

Cherished

Silver Meritorious Patron
Thank you, thank you for all your support and to everyone who has responded. The legacy of what it used to be like in the S.O. made me slightly nervous about logging in again to see what the responses to my posting would be! I expected some sort of backlash, but instead found love, caring and sympathy. THANK YOU !:heartflower:
vumba, even people who did bad things in the CoS may find mercy and forgiveness and acceptance. You were a child. The story of a child who was abused will cause many to feel angry - but not at you. No, not at you.

<3
 

vumba

Danielle Chamberlin
vumba, even people who did bad things in the CoS may find mercy and forgiveness and acceptance. You were a child. The story of a child who was abused will cause many to feel angry - but not at you. No, not at you.

<3
Such kinds words and comforting. Thank you again x
 

vumba

Danielle Chamberlin
Many thank's for having the courage to go back in your memory, run again the suffering of these cruelty toward you as a child and tell it to help others.

Your testimony has a special value as many ex-scientologists ask for years if it's true that there was children torture on the Apollo
under Elrong command.
There is only one or 2 people who spoke. You bring light to what has been run on people on the horror ship.

There is many people here you can trust and understand what you have gone through. They help each other to heal.

May your arrival here be a beginning to a journey into healing.
May your life out of this cult be generous and kind with you.

Thank you for your courage

:arose:
And thank you too for your kind support, I really, really appreciate it. x:handinhand:
 

scooter

Gold Meritorious Patron
:welcome: vumba - I for one would love to read more of your story :drama:

I found it incredibly therapeutic to write mine and I still haven't finished (note to self - stop being slack and get to work on it this Christmas :biggrin:)

It hurts to do it - I recently did a presentation for the CIFS conference in Parliament House here in Oz and it brought back a hell of a lot of unpleasant memories but ultimately I'm better for doing it.:yes:

And I've lost count of the number of people who've said that my speaking out has helped them immensely to get over their own cult experiences, so you never know who you'll be helping by doing it.

But - take your time and do it at a pace and time you are happy with.

It's YOUR story after all:coolwink:
 

vumba

Danielle Chamberlin
:welcome: vumba - I for one would love to read more of your story :drama:

I found it incredibly therapeutic to write mine and I still haven't finished (note to self - stop being slack and get to work on it this Christmas :biggrin:)

It hurts to do it - I recently did a presentation for the CIFS conference in Parliament House here in Oz and it brought back a hell of a lot of unpleasant memories but ultimately I'm better for doing it.:yes:

And I've lost count of the number of people who've said that my speaking out has helped them immensely to get over their own cult experiences, so you never know who you'll be helping by doing it.

But - take your time and do it at a pace and time you are happy with.

It's YOUR story after all:coolwink:
Thanks so very much. The kindness on this Board has truly brought me to tears. I like being here because you all know what we went through and are kindred Spirits. It helps so much to have people on my side. For years I have just got on with normal life, but always the friend I left behind have been in the back of my mind, and my heart goes out to them. I so hope more of them will become truly aware of the manipulation and the suppressive regime they work under, and I would like to play my part in helping them. :yes:
 
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