Free At Last!

Once bitten

Patron Meritorious
Good luck

Hi John

Just adding to the other posts ..... please relax. They can't do anything to you. They can try, but they probably won't. There are bigger things happening in the cofs, and you have been around long enough to feel that they have power. They don't. They are a bunch of washed-up has-beens.

You've had some great advice from the other. GIve your Mum lots of hugs, do something you really love to do, and try and make contact with all those friends you lost when you became a scn.

Mantras and meditating are really really good things to do. You can buy meditation cds which are great.

Good luck, and thanks for finding your way here.



Bardo Tulpa
One thing you must never do, John, is to tell a joke about Scientology, LRon Hubbard or David Miscavige.

The subjects above are so serious that they must never be joked about.

So go ahead, John.

Tell us a joke.

See what we do to you.

DMO Messenger & Senior Logician for the Church of Scientology
Office of the Logician's Office
The Church of Scientology


Welcome John! What everyone else said. Congratulations on leaving.

By the way...those stories they tell you in scientology aren't true. You know, the ones about how people who leave scientology get in horrible car wrecks or get cancer, etc? In reality the Sea Org is much worse for your health then the wog world! :yes:

Now get off your butt and go to the zoo, the movies, the mall, the park. Go do all the things that are considered off purpose by the cult. Other fish to fry is the best fish to fry.:p


Gold Meritorious Patron
A warm welcome John.

You've had some excellent info from other posters.

One thing I ran into when I left scientology was irrational phobias. I wasn't aware of this at the time it happened but later learnt more when I started reading up on cults.

The phobias installed into scientologists includes things like "if you ever leave you will be screwed for eternity" or "you may die out there in the nasty wog world" or "without scientology you just won't get along in life" or "if you break your staff contract you are just scum" or "you are a traitor to the whole God damn planet if you don't keep trying to clear the planet", etc. Very high level manipulation.

I had a real battle with the chatter in my head. It was hell. It was like there were these invisible chains around me, controlling me. My head was full of concepts which made me wrong/evil for leaving scientology. Very odd sensation.

These are just installed thoughts/concepts, implanted into a person to control them. The reality is there is nothing scientology can do to you (as others have said). You've changed your mind about belonging to that group and that is your total right to do so.

Eat well, do pleasant activities, do stuff you haven't been able to do because of your involvement with scientology. When you feel able to, comfortable, do a little reading about cult installed phobias. See what you think of the info.

A good web site is Steve Hassan's

One other thing I would say to anyone leaving scientology is keep the focus outward. I tended to become obsessive - trying to find out what the hell was going on with me. I felt so out of control. Some of my best healing took place just getting out there in the real world. Mix that in with some sensible research, talking to those you trust (posting on ESMB is very therapeutic) and the healing starts - the control of one's life returns.

Take your time, be gentle on yourself. It's a terrific world! Really!


Hey John,

All good advice here - just get into anything and everything that'll put your attention out, and enjoy. Cut yourself some slack, as much as ya want, and make up for lost time. As the weeks and months go by, it'll get easier and easier, and you'll realise that you have nothing to fear.

Glad you made it here - there's support when and if ya need it. :)

All the best,


Patron with Honors
Hi John!

Yup..great advice from everyone who posted on your thread. We've all been through it. The level of deception you experience once you start really finding out the truth can make one feel totally spinny and paranoid. I must have sat at the computer researching and reading everything I could get my eyes on trying to "work it out" and find the truth..for months..hours and hours a day. I also put some weight on..I was stressed all the time..looking behind my back..thinking someone was going to come get me or whatever...

Then I started getting into action. I moved and that took a lot to pack up and drive and create a new home..and that's when I really started to just get back into "life". I took long long walks, went out to fabulous restaurants and started talking to people..real people with no agendas. I don't think I talked so much in over 36 years..and I found that there are a lot of wonderful people out here, doing incredible much kindness and caring and love..

You'll make it fine..just give yourself some time..get out and do something fun..


Off Policy

Hey Moomin

I too am new to this board. Good on you for getting out after only a few short years.

They cannot do anything to you. They may call alot, but just ignore the calls and they will go bother some other poor soul soon enough. Silence is golden!


Bardo Tulpa
Hey Moomin

I too am new to this board. Good on you for getting out after only a few short years.

They cannot do anything to you. They may call alot, but just ignore the calls and they will go bother some other poor soul soon enough. Silence is golden!

Welcome, Off Policy!!!

And should they do anything, document it thoroughly and report it on ESMB and elsewhere on the Internet. And be sure to include local law enforcement, your neighbors and the FBI into the mix.

The damage done to them is WAY BEYOND anything they could do to you.

Fair Game is just not cost effective for them any more.

That really is the truth.

While you should remain vigilant, you should be doing so from the viewpoint of being able to aggressively catch them at it and documenting the harassment for thorough exposure to the authorities and to the public WHILE YOU ENJOY AND EXPRESS YOUR RIGHTS AND FREEDOMS.

"Exposure of Suppression" is a valid tech.

It works!

Your attitude should be:

"I am free now. And anyone who wishes to take my freedom and rights away will pay for it.

Never again will I allow anyone to do that to me."

Justice does exist in the wog world - way more than in Scientology! As a wog, you have rights now that are protected by a legal system and a judicial system that prosecutes the violation of your rights, either through criminal courts, or civil courts or both. These were not available to you as a Scientologist, as long as you abided by the justice system of Scientology. They were cut off from if you wanted to remain a member in good-standing with the Church of Scientology.

As an Ex-Scientologist, they are now available and willingly waiting for you to use them to protect yourself, while you go on living your life as a free human being.
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Tiger Lily

Gold Meritorious Patron
Hey Moomin

I too am new to this board. Good on you for getting out after only a few short years.

They cannot do anything to you. They may call alot, but just ignore the calls and they will go bother some other poor soul soon enough. Silence is golden!

:welcome: to ESMB Off Policy!

Glad you stopped in and are posting!



Gold Meritorious Patron

Hello John! And welcome to a new chapter in your life.

Thanks for telling us a little about yourself.

Actually, I think you have just got yourself out of a pickle by leaving. It might not feel like it now, but you are very fortunate to have made it out after a relatively short time. I really don’t think that you have too much to worry about from the CoS. They have got their hands very full right now and are fighting for their survival. They may try and send someone round to try and recover you, but this can be dealt with rather easily by quoting parts of the OT III materials (widely available on the Web) or some of the true facts about L Ron Hubbard ( etc).

So relax. Just concentrate on getting your life back together. Realise that this will take time and don’t rush yourself and certainly do not fixate on what you may or may not have done to cause anything to happen to yourself. The Scientology concept of ‘pulling stuff in’ is a load of bollocks. It is just a way of controlling people.

I think that Schwimmy’s suggestion about exercise is spot on. You will need to start healing yourself. Exercise, eat well and get plenty of rest.

Some people here have gained tremendous relief from just telling us what they went through. The worst thing is to keep it all bottled up. But, don’t force yourself, take your time. You are amongst friends here who have had very similar experiences. We understand.

I look forward to hearing more from you. Good luck.


La La Lou Lou

Moomin, relax youve done the hardest part.

Youve re-entered reality, all the panic and stress and nightmare stat-push and thursday 2 oclocks are behind you....never to return.

Harassment is agaisnt the law, you are safe!

It's a big culture shock though.

You will find yourself, the old you, the one that could laugh and enjoy life, the armour plate will fall slowly off you and one day you'll be surprised to see the old you in the mirror. Say hi to him for me!:happydance:


Silver Meritorious Sponsor
You will wake up one morning feeling confused, because you don't know what to 'do'. And, a cog will come; you don't know what to do because you could do *anything*.


La La Lou Lou

Moomin and Off Policy, Im so excited by your new start I might rejoin the SO just so I could leave again.

I thought about it, and no.

Not in a billion years!:duh:

You invest a lot of time and pain in being a scientolojist, or staff or SO. Fully realising what a mistake you made can hurt. It's not easy to realise what a plonka youve been. But it wasnt you forcing your body to work without food and sleep. It was coersion, manipulation and force. Dont feel bad about that!

Youve learnt a valuable lesson, well done!:yes:

La La


Silver Meritorious Patron

Are you still blown? :naughty: Where are you? :nervous:

Well, fine then. As long as you're "out there" in the "wog world" and "motivating", you might as well do it with us.


Glad you're out

I totally understand your fear at this point but the hard part is over, you left. When I first left, I was afraid to answer the phone, walk to the mailbox for mail or even take the dog for a walk. When I did walk the dog I always took my cell phone. They are counting on and expecting you to be fearful, it's works in the favor. Please read, read, read and do alot of research about the truth of scientology, the truth will give you strength. The fear will subside, enjoy your new freedom. So glad you have parents that are so supportive.


Patron with Honors
Welcome Moomin!

Glad you are here.

To all the wonderful beings on here,

:bigcry: You are all so wonderful :cloud9: what a great group of people.
I wish you were all available and this site when we left. It would have
been so much easier. Thank you all for being sooooo supportive.:thumbsup: