Veda
Sponsor
Thank you for your compassion. The experience, the turmoil, the excruciating pain. Having gone through it myself I have my compassion for you LH. Deeply felt and sincere. It was an incredibly difficult time, as you well know and that is understatement.
I too barely held on and experienced the mind-spin you refer to. Brutal.
I too have read as much as any I suspect and that covers the gamut. That was as much of the mind-spin as what was happening. Had I been utterly decieved. Was this entire experience just some sort of hypnotic mind f$#@? Did I actually have any gains? WHAT THE F@#$
I hit a point as low as I could imagine. So I know to what you are referring.
I began to study. Everything I could and started with the 'nasty books'. Read a couple and one three times through writing down anything that my own observation contradicted and anything that made no sense. For instance, that Magick stuff. What the hell is that all about? So I read as much Crowley as is scrutable to a non witch. My what an amazing intellect and with some real pearls in amongst what I couldn't begin to describe.
And so on. I read the entire list of people at the beginning of SOS and including some Kant, which is just about as tough as any read. I read Will Durant's book, The Story of Philosophy and so on. The one that struck me the most was Science and Sanity by Korzybski. What an incredible compendium of data. I read the original Einstein on Special Relativity, I studied up on quantum theory, electromagnetics and so on.
I then read everything I could get my hands on on the subject of Scientology, from the beginning, like back to Astounding Sci Fi and forward trying as much as possible to do it it sequence with tapes, books, issues and so on. All the way through once, and back again.
From the above, I evaluated differently than you. I'm a Scientologist now more than I ever was. It has worked for me and I have seen it work on others. That is my subjective and objective reality.
But, you have a right to your own route. I haven't yet stomped on any on this MB for their routes. By all means, follow what you think will get you where you want to go. I may think it's going to lead nowhere or worse, but frankly, it's your life. Is it futile to request the same respect of me?. Jim
I'm curious as to your thoughts on Ron Hubbard's 1955 book, the one he called the 'Brainwashing Manual'/'Textbook on Psycho-Politics'.