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Funny Scn stories

Discussion in 'Stories From Inside Scientology' started by Voltaire's Child, Dec 7, 2007.

  1. Gizmo

    Gizmo Rabble Rouser

    More for lovers of writing up those reports !

    At Flag, that technical mecca of the world, I watched a mother - who was a public person - stand over & coach a child ( that could barely write ) in doing a KR.

    There it was, a mere child being coached in how to whip out that pen & report on people so they could be 'corrected'.

    Sad, but also funny, to see a culture of rats multiply among us.
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2015
  2. Gizmo

    Gizmo Rabble Rouser

    Another funny was CC in LA 70's.....Org opened bright & early & somehow it was discovered there was no TP in the public restroom.

    There was some hollering by some lady exec & somebody who didn't do their job of putting out the TP was getting reamed but good !

    Wouldn't think it that funny but a gung ho make-it-happen clear the planet outfit couldn't do something as simple as put TP in the restroom for the public?

    THAT is funny !

    PS - How big a challenge is it to get a roll of TP from the supply closet & put in the restroom ?
    Must take some of them thar OT stuff, huh !
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2015
  3. lotus

    lotus stubborn rebel sheep!

    I often say $camology turns mice into rats!:confused2:
  4. Gizmo

    Gizmo Rabble Rouser

    Then, again, there was the new SO guy getting paid in cash.

    He looked at the fifty cents in his palm that he just got paid & announced very loudly . . . .

    " A week's pay & I can't even buy a pack of ciggy's?. This ain't gonna work for me "!

    True story CC in LA late 70's on La Brea.
  5. Gizmo

    Gizmo Rabble Rouser

    Anybody else remember in the early-ish 70's having to CSW to be off course for Christmas day - which had to include when you made up course time ?
  6. Gizmo

    Gizmo Rabble Rouser

    More funny KR's ( as some seemed fascinated by KRable alleged offenses ). . . . .

    On OT 7 one has to have a meter ( at the time Mk7 ) and a BACKUP meter. Simple, everybody gets to own TWO meters.

    One married couple was laughing at another married couple saying how silly they were as each had their meter & they kept the spare in the auditing space so they only had to buy THREE meters not FOUR like the dummies had.

    KR was written on the couple that only had THREE meters on skirting the intent of the policy.

    A long time close friendship got fucked.

    This was also in the time period when to send a meter in for a ' cert' was a sure bet you'd not see it for years.

    When your meter ran out of 'cert' the ONLY answer was go buy a NEW meter !

    So it wasn't like there was any shortage of having to go buy yet ANOTHER meter.
  7. Gizmo

    Gizmo Rabble Rouser

    Another 'Flag' funny . . . . .

    Hard to date this one, but, there were time one HAD to stay in Flag quarters to get services & other times one also HAD to eat at Flag restaurant to get services.

    So, after a long argument I buy a few tickets from a reg who INSISTS all public HAVE to eat in the restaurant - so I but a FEW meal tickets to shut him up.

    That night, I'm eating in a close by popular restaurant & who do I see at another table but the reg who INSISTED I eat ONLY on base.

    I made a point of him seeing me & he never again tried to push Flag meal tickets off on me.

    Sell me shit they don't do themselves ?

    Gee, took THAT light bulb a long time to come on for me !
  8. ThetanExterior

    ThetanExterior Gold Meritorious Patron

    I was at Saint Hill in east Grinstead solo auditing on OT III.

    For some reason they were short of auditing spaces so they had bought a lot of garden sheds and arranged them outside of the castle next to a farmer's field. Each of these sheds was set up as an auditing room.

    One night, just before 10pm, I was the only person out there in a shed and it was dark and spooky. Especially considering the nature of what I was doing, talking to invisible entities.

    All of a sudden, right next to my ear I heard a loud MOOOOOOOO.:omg:

    Apparently my shed backed onto the field and a cow had come right up to the back of the shed, about 12 inches from my ear and let me know it was there!

    I ended-off session quickly and almost ran to the examiner. How I F/Nd that session I'll never know.
  9. whoisxenu

    whoisxenu Patron with Honors

    "who didn't do their job of putting out the TP"


    “You don’t have the fucking rank to ask about Toilet Paper!” :dance3:
  10. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    It was the reg commissions that he got from selling you all that shit, which ENABLED him to eat at a restaurant rather than the SO galley.
  11. Gizmo

    Gizmo Rabble Rouser

    Unfortunately, even at that time I damn well knew the percentage they got of what they sold.

    Some regs made well over $100,000 a year.
  12. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    Yes, LRH made lots of noises putting down people who were "money motivated".

    He then turned around and decreed that regges and book sellers would get a percentage commission, as that was the best way to motivate them to sell.
  13. strativarius

    strativarius Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband

    I used to get jealous of the regges who were actually getting paid handsomely while I, (and I think someone made this point a short time ago) an auditor, supposedly the 'most valuable beings on the planet', was lucky if I had a decent meal once a day.
  14. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    Meanwhile, if Scn had actually worked, there would have been no need for regges.

    If it could have been objectively demonstrated that Scn actually increased a person's mental ability, there would have been people with suitcases full of cash lined up around the block. If a high-end lawyer thought Scn would increase his odds of winning $billion dollar lawsuits; if a hedge fund manager thought that Scn might let him guess right slightly more often as to which way the market would go -- even a slight increase in performance would be worth $millions. There would be no need for regges, just a cashier to take in the money and tell the D of P to schedule an auditor.
    Cat's Squirrel likes this.
  15. Gizmo

    Gizmo Rabble Rouser

    Are were the 'most valuable beings on the planet'.

    Why ?

    Because they brought the highest bounty !
  16. strativarius

    strativarius Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband

    If Scn had actually worked... well, that's a thread all by itself right there.

    For a start, we wouldn't be here trying to warn people not to be taken in by promises of 'total freedom' and all the rest of it. (Do they still promise that BTW, there's been so much revisionism since the poisonous dwarf took control?)

    Hubbard WAS paranoid about psyches and the medical profession etc, but there would undoubtedly be vested interests who wouldn't want scn to succeed, but they would be powerless to resist the armies of disembodied spiritual beings restraining them with tractor beams and zapping them with bolts of pure Theta energy.


    I suppose I could go on but I won't as there's absolutely no point.
  17. Billy Blinder

    Billy Blinder Patron with Honors

    And guess what?

    although they made that money, Stats, and it sounds all cool, PR wise,

    they never paid into social security,

    and now they are shitting bricks cuz there is no retirement plan in the COS nor will it pay dividends nor social security.

    The poor ole FSM's that the COS promotes as top producers are fuk'd. :melodramatic:
  18. Gizmo

    Gizmo Rabble Rouser

    Oh, so many funny things along the way happened.

    Once late for course the Course Supervisor asked me very gruffly " Why were you late for class "?

    I pointed to the clock on the wall & replied " That says 2 minutes after ".

    Made sense to me.

    Once again, my ass got routed to ethics.

    Why does an adult needed routed to somewhere they walked pass just down the hall hundreds of times ?

    Why not " Third door on the left " ?

    Sometimes that place baffled me.
  19. Dulloldfart

    Dulloldfart Squirrel Extraordinaire

    Routing forms are supposed to include the post titles "needing" to be seen (plus alternate posts if the named one isn't there), along with a list of actions that that post is supposed to do on/with the person being routed. Both the staff member AND the public person are then supposed to sign off to show that these actions got done, along with the date and time. Also the fact of the R/F being started is supposed to be LOGGED, so if the person sneaks out of the building instead then at some point sooner rather than later someone can go "Where's ___?" etc.

    All this admin tends to drop out, especially when the staff member concerned doesn't know what he's doing anyway (although the point of listing the actions he's supposed to do is to overcome this deficiency to some extent). And it's hard for a public to say, "Oi, you're supposed to ___ me and log it in the ___ book and you didn't!" When I was a course sup at ITO and had to send someone to ethics I would pull out a sheet of legal paper, scribble "Ethics R/F" on the top, write the person's name and date, scribble three lines for course sup, ethics officer, course sup, and sign and date my one on the top.

    Last edited: Jul 1, 2015
  20. Gizmo

    Gizmo Rabble Rouser

    What baloney !
    I've worked for corporations with thousands of employees & no time clocks. Why ?
    Management says if a section leader doesn't know whether or not his people are there then something is really wrong.

    Most every org I was in the sup could have glanced around the room & KNOWN who was there & who wasn't.

    Someone needed to go see somebody, they did, come back & told you so. WHAT ! Take somebody at their WORD ?
    Not have reams of paper to prove it ?

    Jesus - the longer I'm out & the more I look back the more I see it was so much more INSANE than I ever imagined !

    I can go to a hospital & get a ( successful ) major operation & leave with less fucking paperwork than a scientologist can get in or out of an org !

    I distinctly remember it taking 3 full days to route into flag & 3 full days to route out of flag

    " Hi, I'd like to spend 30 grand on a 6 month check" & it takes 3 days to get TO the HGC ?

    Routing forms as used by scn are completely INSANE.