Galactic OverLord Xenu: My Story

Free Being Me


It has come to our attention that one Ronald Lafayette Hubbard, A.K.A. L. Ron
Hubbard, A.K.A. L.R.H., A.K.A. The Founder, A.K.A. ELron Elway, has visited
the planet known as Teegeeack.

This is a person of interest due to the spreading of sedition, turmoil, lies,
embezzlement, insurrection, civil unrest, and treason against the Sublime
OverLord Xenu, Galactic OverLord.

The person known as L. Ron Hubbard, henceforth referred to as ELRon, is an escapee
from the Xenu Institution For The Socially Deranged (Patient I.D. 2514375-2). Said
patient is considered dangerous, suffering from megalomania, delusions, narcissism,
sociopathic tendencies and is consummate at acquiring followers to fulfill misdirected
goals that are harmful to themselves and society as a whole.

ElRon usually poses as some type of adventurer/writer of little note, pretends to
be dissatisfied with the order of things as an excuse to create a pseudo-science
of the mind and soul. The real reason is to amass personal wealth from his deluded flock, the actual workings of ElRon's claims are deceptions for the gullible.

The ElRon story about our OverLord is based on severe delusional dementia to ursurp
our Confederation and OverLord. Our OverLord has instituted many beneficial programs
for the common good. Having read ElRon's account of the past, our OverLord has decreed that his lies will be addressed to inform the inhabitants of Teegeeack what really occurred.

The patient known as ElRon, began claiming that he and he alone had made some remarkable and outlandish discoveries, boasting to have found the answers to all of life. As a second rate published author, he had minor connections to the publishing circle. He used those connections to publish books and start foundations. He became popular, a passing fad at best if it weren't for the indoctrination insidiously laced throughout his writings and misleading lies he pushed upon his followers.

ElRon began talking of strange unprovable phenomena about the mind, interjecting subtle social/political rhetoric, claiming our Confederacy is poisoned and he can reform it. He then blackmailed a Confederate Civil Service Executive to embezzle funds from the Xenu Orphans And Widows Assistance Program to fund his takeover. This of course was intolerable and his claims untrue so ElRon was evaluated and found insane, swiftly being committed to the Xenu Institution For The Socially Deranged to ensure the common welfare of all.

OverLord Xenu had instituted many reforms and social programs. One being the
Metro-Galactic Transportation System. This brought galactic travel to all citizens,
a marvel of organization.

The next was saving the Confederacy from a virus that had spread through out the
Confederacy. It was spreading rapidly due to the new galactic transportation system.
OverLord Xenu collected the best of the medical community and a cure was developed
quickly with great relief to all.

Our OverLord Xenu then expanded the Confederate Naval Space Force to insure the protection of our the multi-planetary confederation. Truly an awe inspiring and ambitious goal once completed. Space related crimes dropped dramatically. It became very popular to watch the fleets on live fire exercises.

Unknown to all, ElRon had converted several of the patients at the Institution to his cause. These became his "Loyal Officers", tricked into believing ElRon could over throw OverLord Xenu if he could escape. Escape he did, hiding aboard a supply ship and later incapacitating the captain. ElRon decided that hiding on Teegeeack would be a marvelous idea, being out on the Rim, a little visited planet while he planned and plotted.

What ElRon didn't know is that a Confederate Naval Fleet was directed to hold a live fire exercise on the planet. OverLord Xenu was on hand of course to over see the exercises. ElRon was totally unprepared, believing the Fleet was there for him and sent a message to OverLord Xenu, demanding a conference. OverLord Xenu very calmly ordered all life on Teegeeack eliminated and ElRon was obliterated into so much atoms.

When Elron saw that life had returned to Teegeack, he bided his time, waiting for an
opportune time to again spread his madness upon an unsuspecting populace.

The story of his Loyal Officers (mental ward patients) trying to stop OverLord Xenu from the mass injections of a hypnotic/stasis serum to overthrow the Confederacy (the virus cure) to then transport the populace to Teegeeack (the Metro-Galactic Transportation System) and then bomb the planet into oblivion (ElRons own stupidity) is a fabrication beyond the pale.

OverLord Xenu decrees this all to be true, verfied by Confederate records and witnesses. Should ElRon again surface or his followers continue with this farce, it is recommended they be institutionalized immediately.

This Date,

(yeah, I know, I had to much time on my hands today. Isn't the space opera shit L Con came up with a hoot? ROTFLMFAO)