Get Serious...for a moment.

xguardian

Patron with Honors
While posting here on ESMB has it's cathartic value, and that being a stated purpose of the Board by some, I have been self examining my motives since I found ESMB. Am I coming from the place of having a chip on my shoulder, because I almost lost my life?

Online for research of more data for book/articles on my 15 minuets of fame/shame in the GO game, I found this site and lurked for a while, until I decided to post my 'gunshot story' and see if it popped up someone I knew. Close but no cigar as far as GO was concerned.

I am sure OSA has tracked my ID, but I am sure they think my delusions will remain here. After all, they have not heard from me for 33 years, although they took notice in 1993 when I garnered international media publicity they thought was unrelated to my GO stint.

I can understand the reaction some of my post's 'wierdo' stuff has elicited since it is hard to see when the poster is TIC or not. Nevertheless...whatever else some may think of me, personally I could care less! My military experience began like most 18 year old's in the Viet Nam era by my being drafted. Because I had ROTC (Reserve Officer Training Corps) training in high school and a 'secret clearance' from working summers at the military facility in my city, I was fast tracked into doing what they wanted me to do.

They owned me! Canada was not an option because of my clearance, they would have found me. So you either get good at what you did, or you got dead! After serving one combat tour as a LRRP...long range reconnaissance patrol and 'extraction' team member, I was then assigned to the School of the America's (SA's) in Panama. We were winding down in Viet Nam and the SA's mission in central America was also counter insurgency training of the military/para-military groups we were invoved with. I was loaned out for counter-intelligence operations periodically.

You had reserve status when you came home , and until that was over, they still owned you. You still had to follow orders if you were activated or face courtmartial and federal prison. I did what I had to do under these circumstances where my actions and service was lawful. The USMCJ ( United States Military Code of Justice) is the highest authority for a soldier. Soldiers do not have 'Constitutional Rights' while under the USMCJ. None. If you are given an order not to speak about "confidential" info and you do, you can be tried in a military tribunal for "Treason" and never see the light of day.

Yesterday, I went to the Veterans Hospital in my area and began to think about some of the attitudes and insults towards my ex-profession both in regards to the GO and military. I am a big boy and none of that bothered me because I take responsability for stirring it up...but I am always humbled when I go to the VA and see soldiers with limbs missing, minds gone, and see the POW/MIA flag flying to remind me, so many of them just want to heal, and forget, but what they did ... must not be forgotten. My bullet seems insignificant when I see the wasted minds and bodies there.

So I get riled up when CoS deceives people from freedom. And I get that way when I see freedom attacked in any form or fashion...feel free to mix it up however you see fit, but men and women as I post, have given up their freedom and may lose life or limb for the freedom we enjoy. Peace out....:)
 
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_brian

WogRevert
Hey xg.

Yours and all the veterans sacrifice of youth and service to our country is highly respected by me. I thank you for that. :handshake:

I hope you will be able to use the board in a way that helps all concerned here seeking to heal from our individual experiences with/in scientology or help expose and bring to justice what you may know is the underbelly of the beast.

Brian
 

uncle sam

Silver Meritorious Patron
okay-new unit of time

While posting here on ESMB has it's cathartic value, and that being a stated purpose of the Board by some, I have been self examining my motives since I found ESMB. Am I coming from the place of having a chip on my shoulder, because I almost lost my life?

Online for research of more data for book/articles on my 15 minuets of fame/shame in the GO game, I found this site and lurked for a while, until I decided to post my 'gunshot story' and see if it popped up someone I knew. Close but no cigar as far as GO was concerned.

I am sure OSA has tracked my ID, but I am sure they think my delusions will remain here. After all, they have not heard from me for 33 years, although they took notice in 1993 when I garnered international media publicity they thought was unrelated to my GO stint.

I can understand the reaction some of my post's 'wierdo' stuff has elicited since it is hard to see when the poster is TIC or not. Nevertheless...whatever else some may think of me, personally I could care less! My military experience began like most 18 year old's in the Viet Nam era by my being drafted. Because I had ROTC (Reserve Officer Training Corps) training in high school and a 'secret clearance' from working summers at the military facility in my city, I was fast tracked into doing what they wanted me to do.

They owned me! Canada was not an option because of my clearance, they would have found me. So you either get good at what you did, or you got dead! After serving one combat tour as a LRRP...long range reconnaissance patrol and 'extraction' team member, I was then assigned to the School of the America's (SA's) in Panama. We were winding down in Viet Nam and the SA's mission in central America was also counter insurgency training of the military/para-military groups we were invoved with. I was loaned out for counter-intelligence operations periodically.

You had reserve status when you came home , and until that was over, they still owned you. You still had to follow orders if you were activated or face courtmartial and federal prison. I did what I had to do under these circumstances where my actions and service was lawful. The USMCJ ( United States Military Code of Justice) is the highest authority for a soldier. Soldiers do not have 'Constitutional Rights' while under the USMCJ. None. If you are given an order not to speak about "confidential" info and you do, you can be tried in a military tribunal for "Treason" and never see the light of day.

Yesterday, I went to the Veterans Hospital in my area and began to think about some of the attitudes and insults towards my ex-profession both in regards to the GO and military. I am a big boy and none of that bothered me because I take responsability for stirring it up...but I am always humbled when I go to the VA and see soldiers with limbs missing, minds gone, and see the POW/MIA flag flying to remind me, so many of them just want to heal, and forget, but what they did ... must not be forgotten. My bullet seems insignificant when I see the wasted minds and bodies there.

So I get riled up when CoS deceives people from freedom. And I get that way when I see freedom attacked in any form or fashion...feel free to mix it up however you see fit, but men and women as I post, have given up their freedom and may lose life or limb for the freedom we enjoy. Peace out....:)

I must say-that I "get" this post. It's the first one of yours that I actually understand. It was a very good post-thanks for writing it in a fashion that is "understandable". And-thank you for your service to "our" country!
 

xguardian

Patron with Honors
For Clearwater

I must say-that I "get" this post. It's the first one of yours that I actually understand. It was a very good post-thanks for writing it in a fashion that is "understandable". And-thank you for your service to "our" country!

Just don't get too used to it...Sanity can be lonely!:coolwink:
 

Tim Skog

Silver Meritorious Patron
xg, Thanks for your post. I don't recall that anyone had an issue with your being ex-GO or ex military. Maybe I missed some posts.

I did think that the thread about Clearwater Project was a waste of time, because I think people come here mainly to write their stories and talk about common experiences in Cof$. I don't think many here are interested in "rescuing" Cof$ from the powers that be regardless of whom one thinks actually controls scn. I might be wrong, but I thought that was where you caught the most flak.

ESMB is a number of different things to the many different folks here, some of whom are not even ex-members of scn. But the one thing that many, if not the vast majority, come here for is healing and forgiveness.

Regaining freedom can sometimes be a work in progress. I've been out for 23 years and I'm still working on my freedom from the trap of scn that I had fallen into.

Sanity might be lonely, but no one needs to be lonely here.
 

Zinjifar

Silver Meritorious Sponsor
I'm more interested in how much auditing it took for you to actually internalize your false memory syndrome.

Zinj
 

Nightingale

Patron with Honors
Thank you xg for giving part of your life for, "that crazy Asian war." Many of us understand exactly what you mean when you said you really had no choice. Bless you for everything you must have endured, and excuse us for not being appreciative for that service. . . Perhaps someday, we will evolve to settling disputes without violence or war.
 

Feral

Rogue male
Thanks for your effort to explain EXG. It is appreciated, you'll find the folk here a kind and generous lot, if they understand what you are saying and can follow a thread of reason in your writings then they tend to get right behind you.

I had a friend who was SAS in 'Nam, he was on reccies the whole tour, all behind the enemies lines. He was a tough one, makes Tommy Davis look like a spoilt rich kid playing super heroes.

Good luck with everything.
 
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