Get the most bang for your buck!

[wiseman_of_the_watchtower]

Forget your everyday Stocks & Bonds! Here's an Investment plan that will pad your bank account in any economy!

1. Recruit a Sea Org member.

2. Pay them $25.00 per week

3. Have him or her work for 4 years (102 hours per week or $0.25 per hour)
This amounts to an initial investment of $5,200.00 over four years

4. Have him or her study courses for free, but add the insanely high costs up in a 'tab' called the freeloader bill.

5. Dismiss the Sea Org member for becoming too wise for his or her own good.

6. Expect the person to pay a FL Debt of $14,800 for the courses studied.

Now you're rich! That yeilds a return of 284% of your investment. That doesn't include the food and berthing, but hey - you can assume the 4 years of labor paid for that.

Try to get a plan like that at your local bank.

 

[Alanzo]

This is a fantastic idea.

Where do we get one of those Sea Org members?

 

[Feral]

I think I'll steal a really 'young one' from it's parents, that way it'll take a long time before he 'wises up'. As I'll only feed him the information I want him to have.

That way I'll keep him for longer before having to replace him!

I can also extort money from his parents and their anxiety to see him looked after!

 

[Iknowtoomuch]

Let's not forget to make the person as guilty as possible for leaving our in ethics organization....the only one that will save all mankind. After we make him feel guilty as possible we'll have him do hundreds of hours of amends and do a liability formula.
The money is only part of the bonus.

Oh yeah....we'll do the same exact thing for those we kick out of the Sea Org. They wont know the difference.

 

[Zinjifar]

Somehow I'd feel creepy having anyone who'd buy that deal around. Maybe I'm squeamish.

Zinj

 

[wiseman_of_the_watchtower]

I think I'll steal a really 'young one' from it's parents, that way it'll take a long time before he 'wises up'. As I'll only feed him the information I want him to have.

That way I'll keep him for longer before having to replace him!

I can also extort money from his parents and their anxiety to see him looked after!

It's actually much more efficient if you train the kid to ask them for the money. The parents love the kid already and would feel bad if they didn't donate $10,000 to the PDU Library campaign. Plus, the little kiddo has no reality on finance, so they'll never really know how much they devastated their own parents financially.

All you have to do is act really happy once they got the money from mom or pop, and maybe approve a short LOA, then they become an effective, cold-hearted income producer. (Why wait for the Freeloader debt - start cashing in now!)

NOTE: To protect your valuable investment, it is recommended that you invent rules on security that will stifle any significant communication with the parents, so they don't get funny ideas about taking your investment home before you cash out.

Better yet, make the kid think that the parent is evil if they try to get them out. That should guarantee your financial growth.

 

[Axiom142]

How about getting him to borrow £10,000 from his parents to pay for auditing, then recruit him and tell him he will now get his auditing for free and take the £10,000 off him for a TWTH campaign? (True story)

And, if you are feeling particularly sadistic, kick him out of the SO because he has debts which make him PTS and has become mentally unstable and tell him he has to get audited up to Grade IV before he can be re-admitted to the SO? (Also true)

Axiom142

 

[pollywannacracker]

And feed them only rice and beans with a small treat when they are really upstat.

That will keep the "food" costs low so your investment only grows from there!