I found a letter I wrote to a friend back in 2005 when she was trying to get her daughter out of the Sea Org. I thought it would be a good idea to post it here and bump this great old thread that has lots of good advice for getting people out of the cult.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To (Name redacted), I understand how frustrating it is to have your loved one visit you at home but still not know how to get them to see they don't have to go back to the cult.
Here is my advice, what worked for me in a few cases...
1.) Seeing my own name on an SP list was a big wake up call for me. Especially when nearly 1,000 other names were on that '93 list, many were my friends who simply "disappeared". That is the last list I have seen published, but if your RPFer has been in for a long time, earlier lists are available, and she might know alot of those people too. I did. Warriors site has lots of lists, as does Cerridwen and Kristi Wachter.
2.) Many "upstat" big money OT 8 publics have left Scn, such as Maria Pia Gardini, Michael Pattinson, Karl Heinz???, many others. Maria PG donated millions, and her story is heartbreaking. Bear in mind that all the income for INT is produced mainly by Booksales, FSO and the orgs, INT produces nothing but alot of orders and paperwork. Surely staff at INT know this and go into a big twit when they lose a big "moneymaker". Ask her what she thinks about these OT 8 defectors. Do a google search and save it so she doesn't have to wade through a bunch of crap. "Debbie Cook and Maria Pia Gardini" is a good place to start.
3.) You mentioned you saw her name on the RPF Insider list. Show her that list, everybody is interested in what others say about them. Show her things you read and tell her you don't believe it, but are concerned about if it is true or not. Ask her to take a look, just to put your mind at ease. If it is all a "pack of lies" as she's been told, what does she have to lose?
4.) I Personally got into trouble for refusing to "handle" some of my juniors who got pregnant to get them to have abortions. I don't care what your political or religious beliefs are, I think most would agree that abortion is never something your "religion" should force or coerce you to do. All long term SO, and especially executives, are very aware that this happens, especially at the INT level. Also, is your RPFer married? When did she last see her husband? How many of her friends or coworkers had their marriages or families broken up with forced divorces, separations or disconnections?
5.) Ask her if she remembers Roxanne Valle, the sister of young Richard Valle, current CJC (Continental Justice Chief, PAC.) Richard and Roxanne were raised in the Sea Org, and are functionally illiterate. Roxanne was fitnessboarded from the RPF and has no education and was known to be a nice kid, where is she now? Richard is being used by DM to declare and administer injustice to true believers trying to do the right thing. (KSW) There is NO justice in scientology, no matter all the nice PR.
5.) You can always ask about "body thetans". BTs are a big huge secret inside scientology. You can't believe the super high security, triple locked doors, threat of death gag orders against any OT staff ever talking about any of this. I would guess that 75 to 80% of staff are NOT even clear, let alone on the OT (BT) levels. One big plus for OT staff, they can blame their overts and witholds on BTs during their endless Sec checks, FPRD on 8 dynamics and not to mention any reads they get on the Truth Rundown.
Ask your RPFer if she thinks your arthritis or gout or whatever might be a "Body thetan".
If she is not clear or OT, be sure she sees the "EP" of OT 8, where you find out you mocked up your own reactive mind at Clear and all your own BTs up to OT7, and on OT 8 finally find out "Now know who I am not, and am ready to find out who I am." (Pretty much what normal teens figure out in college.)
6.) Does she know DMs case level? I don't. He doesn't allow anyone to audit him. Does she know he has an 8th grade education? Can she look at him in a "new unit of time" and truly say he is a great person with goodwill toward mankind? I can't. Just asking these questions will ensure that she will never be able to look at things the same way. Sometimes it takes years but once the chink is in there, the armour starts to break. Or "The Truman Show" gets exposed, as Tory very aptly describes it.
7.) Ask her about any physical problems she still has, such as asthma, menopause, obesity, etc. Is she lonely? Does she like the berthing, hygeine time and running up 6 floors to shower for 10 seconds? Does she get to brush her teeth properly? When is the last (or 1st) time she had a mammogram or a pap smear? Or seen a dentist? Does she have kids? When did she see them last? What grade are they in? How are their grades? Who are their friends? Or teachers? Has she seen other whole families on the RPF? (Like the generations of Espteins and the Eves family). How does she feel about the really old or really sick people who are dying in the Sea Org or the RPF? Did they "pull it in" by their own out ethics? What about the fact that FSO sent all their old and infirm and anyone else with physical problems to PAC after the Lisa McPherson Flap? Has she seen all those old OTs FESing down in the basement? I have.
OK, so now that she has been allowed to visit you, remember that this visit is to "handle" you and she has been given a "program" and drilled on what to say.
Get out the nice tablecloth and best dishes. Make all her favorite comfort foods. Light candles and use the best manners. Have all the photo albums tabbed to your best times. Hug and kiss her, RPF are not allowed to touch, and touch is a very basic human need. Don't push or force anything, and don't stop just because she doesn't reciprocate. Always play it by ear, don't get mad or think she owes you an apology, maybe she does, but it will take her awhile to figure that out. Always remember we are only here for a short time, and it is better to give than to receive. Just love her with all your heart, and know you are doing the right thing, and be patient if she doesn't fall into your arms right away.
Love, and especially unconditional love, is the most important basic thing we have to offer.
All the best,
"Ladybird"