This is an interesting thread (kudos to the OP). I think Mike Laws' post was an insightful one.
But what I wondered was - what is the definition of 'success'? Or 'done well'?
Traditional "success" by "modern" western standards, something somewhat driven by a consumer driven economy is good job, good pay, lots of nice things, nice house, travel, good credit to be able to borrow lots of money, business owner, etc. I disagree with this materialistic definition of success as overly simplistic and unattainable, mathematically, by 50% or more of the population. I think it is also a trap, borrowing yourself to a material success with assets that loose their value as quickly as they are paid off (new cars, new houses, etc.)
Success or "doing well" I believe is a much more intimate and personal state, depending on what is important to the person. Things I believe people would generally agree fall into success are:
A strong family unit, children, siblings, or friends or social groups. Real relationships with people that are satisfying and enjoyable and rewarding.
Personal financial stability, not living pay check to pay check, not being afraid or stressed by how the next rent check or mortgage payment will be made, or by job insecurity, etc.
Good financial management skills, resulting in a more stable financial future being built. This is not all about what we make. Yesterday I was called by a woman asking advice ... she had been making $2-400,000 a year after leaving the SO, built herself an exorbitant lifestyle, income dropped, and she had to declare bankruptcy. She realized she didn't know how to manage money and was miserable. It is incredibly difficult to get ahead on minimum wage, but can be done, though it is not much fun. Part of this I think is finding a way to find pleasure in your life without having to buy or have nice stuff all the time.
Doing work, either as a profession, or hobby that you find fulfilling and important and meaningful.
Living in a place that you enjoy, finding pleasure in your local environment.
Having some excess money and or time to do things that are significant and valuable to you, whether charity or education, or travel or whatever.
The biggest thing people I have spoken with seem to long from the SO is the comradeship and sense of meaning for what they are doing. IMHO the comradeship and friendships were conditional or fake depending on our status with the group, it was a lie that is impossible to completely re-create in the real world.
Mick discloses many details about his life in this thread that I didn't know. I do know about his challenges with his son, what he has built around that, the rewarding work, even if not monetarily, the intellectual stimulation, the feeling of service to the world, the community, personal financial stability, ... especially knowing where he came from, in my book that is success and doing well.
Media seems to want us to compare ourselves, measure ourselves against others. We are all different, and come from different places, so expecting an extreme elite guide stick of excessive financial and material consumption as success is a sure route to misery and failure for most.
I know of a man illegal in the US with children born here. I respect him tremendously, works harder than most, never taken anything from the government, doesn't want and won't take a hand out, his definition of success is to be here legally, not to worry about being deported or what would happen to his family, be able to visit his family in Mexico ... he calls this freedom. If Obama does reform immigration, I would move this guy to Texas in a heartbeat and hire him and be honored if he would work with me.
Success to me is a personal feeling of worth and value and importance, personal stability, and the ability to do something for others. A life one enjoys.