Healing after Scientology- recapturing the soul

Vittorio

Patron Meritorious
I was wondering what people have done after Scientology to heal?

I left Scientology with epilepsy, a suitcase of clothes and a load of broken dreams. A homeless, jobless bum having lost most of my friendships.

Recently I started acupuncture and have found it extremely affective. One very sad thing came of it. I'm better at guitar than I've ever been and haven't been able to put it down and it made me think about my long lost dream of being a musician. Not long before joining Scientology I'd been and got a drum machine to play guitar with and was looking at joining a band. Many of us had dreams, goals and hobbies that somehow got lost with the idea of "going up the bridge" where I desire to help others go free was really genuine.

When I left Scientology I put on weight and after since I've had a misshapen body (though not fat) and poor metabolism. With the acupuncture I can feel my body change and even during periods of high seizure activity I feel that there is more energy in my body.

I've also committed the high crime of going to a therapist! I referred myself to help for the side effects of epilepsy which have been quite debilitating and I have my third sessions on Wednesday and it's gone well so far. I think it's a form of CBT I've had and something called "mindfulness".

So plenty of "wins" to be had from "other practises". I would love to hear if anyone else has tried either of the above or anything else to help themselves. For me, I feel that I have some "lost years", I can't imagine how many of you feel that you have "lost decades". It's extremely painful but a mountain than can be climbed.
 

La La Lou Lou

Crusader
I was wondering what people have done after Scientology to heal?

I left Scientology with epilepsy, a suitcase of clothes and a load of broken dreams. A homeless, jobless bum having lost most of my friendships.

Recently I started acupuncture and have found it extremely affective. One very sad thing came of it. I'm better at guitar than I've ever been and haven't been able to put it down and it made me think about my long lost dream of being a musician. Not long before joining Scientology I'd been and got a drum machine to play guitar with and was looking at joining a band. Many of us had dreams, goals and hobbies that somehow got lost with the idea of "going up the bridge" where I desire to help others go free was really genuine.

When I left Scientology I put on weight and after since I've had a misshapen body (though not fat) and poor metabolism. With the acupuncture I can feel my body change and even during periods of high seizure activity I feel that there is more energy in my body.

I've also committed the high crime of going to a therapist! I referred myself to help for the side effects of epilepsy which have been quite debilitating and I have my third sessions on Wednesday and it's gone well so far. I think it's a form of CBT I've had and something called "mindfulness".

So plenty of "wins" to be had from "other practises". I would love to hear if anyone else has tried either of the above or anything else to help themselves. For me, I feel that I have some "lost years", I can't imagine how many of you feel that you have "lost decades". It's extremely painful but a mountain than can be climbed.

I had some person centred counselling, that was brilliant. Like you I was about to have a life when I got side swept into a cult. So when I was a bit back on my feet I reconnected to the lost life and did a fine art degree part time. I'm going to start some gentle yoga if I remember, also some CBT soon.
 

David C Gibbons

Ex-Scientology Peon
Ever hear of the phrase 'a dog in the manger'? The dog cannot eat the hay, but keeps the farm animals from eating. For me, that was Scientology. My real life problems went unhandled for over 30 years, and only after I left Scientology was I able to discover and begin to address my 'ruin' (as they say in Scientology)of early childhood abuse and the problems that has caused me in my life.

Frankly, if one just looks at Scientology as a money-making enterprise, leaving people in a bad state is a good way to keep getting money from them, so long as they keep hoping their cure is just around the corner...

For me, counseling with a psychologist has made a big difference. I now understand much more about me, and my life as I have lived it. It is great to know I have access to something that works.
 

La La Lou Lou

Crusader
Vittorio what is mindfulness? it's certainly a vague name, and there's a group I was thinking about looking in to, just not sure what it is.
 

TheSpectator

Patron with Honors
My 2¢ -- Forget everything you learned in Scientology. Scientology makes people into victims not able beings. You're still feeling the effects of all the Scientology victimization.

One of the things I try to do if I'm feeling sorry for myself (victimization) is try to snap out of it. Various ways like exercise, do some work, chat with a friend, anything but dwell on Scientology! For christ's sake, we spent years in Scientology learning to be a victim. You've got to change your old habits.

Last advice. Don't go into some new practice or therapy (not that they aren't valid). Learn to live life and enjoy it on your own. No safety nets.

Good luck! :)
 

lotus

stubborn rebel sheep!
I was wondering what people have done after Scientology to heal?

I left Scientology with epilepsy, a suitcase of clothes and a load of broken dreams. A homeless, jobless bum having lost most of my friendships.

Hello Vittorio,

I usually don't talk very much about me - but will write a bit here

I [STRIKE]left[/STRIKE] escaped scientology with a major disease - a suitcase of clothes - a load of broken dreamsroken , I came back as a public - to atone my sins of having blew - and had my final total handlings and left completely lost, without no friends anymore , no job , sick, any self confidence gone.

Recently I started acupuncture and have found it extremely affective. One very sad thing came of it. I'm better at guitar than I've ever been and haven't been able to put it down and it made me think about my long lost dream of being a musician. Not long before joining Scientology I'd been and got a drum machine to play guitar with and was looking at joining a band. Many of us had dreams, goals and hobbies that somehow got lost with the idea of "going up the bridge" where I desire to help others go free was really genuine.

Art is a very good therapy for recovering, I did art too. Music and painting wich did really help me to reconnect with my ''soul''
This is good you re-activate these dreams. In fact - it's a very good indicator.

I've also committed the high crime of going to a therapist! I referred myself to help for the side effects of epilepsy which have been quite debilitating and I have my third sessions on Wednesday and it's gone well so far. I think it's a form of CBT I've had and something called "mindfulness".

So plenty of "wins" to be had from "other practises". I would love to hear if anyone else has tried either of the above or anything else to help themselves. For me, I feel that I have some "lost years", I can't imagine how many of you feel that you have "lost decades". It's extremely painful but a mountain than can be climbed.

I myself did a lot of Tai-Chi as I did need to quiet my agitated mind and recover inner peace and self confidence.
It did help me a lot + I met some very good and kind people.

I understand you are doing a mindfullness pychotherapy - If so - you are doing what is prooving to be of the best psychotherapy today - it's the best of CBT combined with mindfullness zen. Many therapist are using it now and many physicians refers people to do so.

I wish you a great adventure in knowing the true you - mindfulness therapy is very powerfull into healing mind , funny, interesting, ..it's a great journey within oneself.

(I do practice mindfulness zen for 15 years and did a CBT for a heavy PTS few years ago - 2 great adventures that made possible for me to reunite with the true me. The CBT created major changes within me in less than a month, and easily handled many of the cultmind sequels.)

best to you!
 
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Vittorio

Patron Meritorious
I had some person centred counselling, that was brilliant. Like you I was about to have a life when I got side swept into a cult. So when I was a bit back on my feet I reconnected to the lost life and did a fine art degree part time. I'm going to start some gentle yoga if I remember, also some CBT soon.

Hi La La Lou, I'm glad you were able to reconnect and do an art degree. And yoga sounds great. I might do yoga with a friend when she visits in a couple of weeks.

Ever hear of the phrase 'a dog in the manger'? The dog cannot eat the hay, but keeps the farm animals from eating. For me, that was Scientology. My real life problems went unhandled for over 30 years, and only after I left Scientology was I able to discover and begin to address my 'ruin' (as they say in Scientology)of early childhood abuse and the problems that has caused me in my life.

Frankly, if one just looks at Scientology as a money-making enterprise, leaving people in a bad state is a good way to keep getting money from them, so long as they keep hoping their cure is just around the corner...

For me, counseling with a psychologist has made a big difference. I now understand much more about me, and my life as I have lived it. It is great to know I have access to something that works.

Hi David, I'm glad your counselling has helped you. Over on the sociopathy thread it was discussed how seemingly nice people end up attracting bad people more than once. It's possible that your ruin (from childhood) did not get looked at in Scientology (in fact they seldom do). Helping people who've been abused in their early years takes a lot of compassion, the building of trust and understanding and it's nice to hear that you've found something that is genuinely helping you. I agree with you about Scientology. I look the same age now as I did when I left Scientology, everyone used to comment on my age back then and it was always older than I looked.

Vittorio what is mindfulness? it's certainly a vague name, and there's a group I was thinking about looking in to, just not sure what it is.

I can't give you an in-depth description of what mindfulness is, but it is used in counselling where I go (government run hospital) and there is more about it here;
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness

My 2¢ -- Forget everything you learned in Scientology. Scientology makes people into victims not able beings. You're still feeling the effects of all the Scientology victimization.

One of the things I try to do if I'm feeling sorry for myself (victimization) is try to snap out of it. Various ways like exercise, do some work, chat with a friend, anything but dwell on Scientology! For christ's sake, we spent years in Scientology learning to be a victim. You've got to change your old habits.

Last advice. Don't go into some new practice or therapy (not that they aren't valid). Learn to live life and enjoy it on your own. No safety nets.

Good luck! :)

I wholeheartedly disagree with you because the post I started was not about being a victim, but about recovering from the loss and trauma that an experience like Scientology can install in a person. These emotions do come up during therapy, it's OK to have them IN and OUTSIDE of therapy as they are very real and they do eventually subside. Like I said, I'm playing guitar like never before since I started acupuncture/massage and therapy and feel better than ever. When I hadn't got over Scientology I was giving the same advice as you; "don't go into any other practises or therapy". That was because I had lost all trust and didn't believe anything could help me. I do work and exercise frequently and in fact I did both in abundance last year and became very ill as a result as I was not fit to work and the exercise was too much and I ended up in status epilepticus in December. I too used to give this advice! Now I am having treatment and working less, things are starting to change for the better. The work like a war horse was an attitude I picked up from Scientology and I've truly broken it. The whole "move on and get over it" attitude is also a deeply seated Scientology characteristic where showing or dealing with emotions is completely anathema. Leaving it all to sit there in your head and body is not a good thing and things don't get better because they are buried or ignored. In Scientology I was not trained to be a victim but to consider myself a "cut above the rest" and put aside "human emotions". It has a slightly narcissistic edge and is unreal.

Hello Vittorio,

I usually don't talk very much about me - but will write a bit here

I [STRIKE]left[/STRIKE] escaped scientology with a major disease - a suitcase of clothes - a load of broken dreamsroken , I came back as a public - to atone my sins of having blew - and had my final total handlings and left completely lost, without no friends anymore , no job , sick, any self confidence gone.



Art is a very good therapy for recovering, I did art too. Music and painting wich did really help me to reconnect with my ''soul''
This is good you re-activate these dreams. In fact - it's a very good indicator.



I myself did a lot of Tai-Chi as I did need to quiet my agitated mind and recover inner peace and self confidence.
It did help me a lot + I met some very good and kind people.

I understand you are doing a mindfullness pychotherapy - If so - you are doing what is prooving to be of the best psychotherapy today - it's the best of CBT combined with mindfullness zen. Many therapist are using it now and many physicians refers people to do so.

I wish you a great adventure in knowing the true you and - mindfulness therapy iks very powerfull into healing mind , funny, interesting, ..it's a great journey with oneself.

(I do practice mindfulness zen for 15 years and did a CBT for a heavy PTS few years ago - 2 great adventures that made possible for me to reunite with the true me. The CBT created major changes within me in less than a month, and easily handled many of the cultmind sequels.)

best to you!

Hi Lotus, thanks for sharing your story and being supportive. I too "went back" after staff, but went to the Freezone which in hindsight was not the ideal thing to do, but nothing in my mind would have convinced me back then when chasing the goal of OT. It's amazing how the cult mind grips a person. I started a course a few years back in my notebook I wrote how I was suspicious of a couple of the teachers. I looked back a couple of years later and thought "how could I write this crap?"
 

Take a Look

Patron with Honors
I was wondering what people have done after Scientology to heal?

I left the Corporate Scientology Church after 20+ years as a public. At the time, I was fed up with the constant regging, tech and C/S changes, my lack of progress over the last couple of years I was in, and having to "disconnect" from a good friend if I wanted to keep going. When I left, I was originally looking into the Independent/Free Zone to continue services.

Then I stumbled onto Idenics...

When I originally left the corporate church, I didn't think I needed to "heal" from anything about Scientology. As I said, I was originally looking to continue in the independent field.

But during a few sessions of Idenics, I quite accidentally located areas of my life, directly related to my Scientology experience, that required some "healing". I wouldn't exactly use that word to describe what I was doing, but it was certainly addressing some areas of upset in my life.

After Idenics, I never even thought about doing more Scientology services. There's just no comparison to the speed, accuracy and efficiency of Idenics in handling exactly what the person wants to handle. Not to mention the return of confidence and self-determinism that one can achieve for themselves.

Since that time, I've become a trained Idenics practitioner and have helped several other ex-Scientologists in their healing/recovering/moving on/etc. But I've spent more time helping never-ins. Idenics is pretty much applicable to whomever for whatever.

That's what worked for me and others that I've either personally experienced or been a witness to.
 

Dean Blair

Silver Meritorious Patron
I was wondering what people have done after Scientology to heal?

I left Scientology with epilepsy, a suitcase of clothes and a load of broken dreams. A homeless, jobless bum having lost most of my friendships.

Recently I started acupuncture and have found it extremely affective. One very sad thing came of it. I'm better at guitar than I've ever been and haven't been able to put it down and it made me think about my long lost dream of being a musician. Not long before joining Scientology I'd been and got a drum machine to play guitar with and was looking at joining a band. Many of us had dreams, goals and hobbies that somehow got lost with the idea of "going up the bridge" where I desire to help others go free was really genuine.

When I left Scientology I put on weight and after since I've had a misshapen body (though not fat) and poor metabolism. With the acupuncture I can feel my body change and even during periods of high seizure activity I feel that there is more energy in my body.

I've also committed the high crime of going to a therapist! I referred myself to help for the side effects of epilepsy which have been quite debilitating and I have my third sessions on Wednesday and it's gone well so far. I think it's a form of CBT I've had and something called "mindfulness".

So plenty of "wins" to be had from "other practises". I would love to hear if anyone else has tried either of the above or anything else to help themselves. For me, I feel that I have some "lost years", I can't imagine how many of you feel that you have "lost decades". It's extremely painful but a mountain than can be climbed.

A number of members here have had great success with therapy and it has been helpful to them in their recovery. Tory Magoo is a member here and she also has epilepsy which she has successfully controlled since escaping the cult. She is a very loving, kind, and experienced ex Scientologist and might have some good advice's for you. You could PM her as she is always offering to help those of us who were in.
 

$oul Reaper

Patron
Well we've all been deep fried in crazy and some of us have even been dipped in sauce and nibbled on afterwards.
I think it is on a case by case basis for each person what they need to do to recover depending on how deep they were fried in crazy and if they had any support when they left but there are some things that we could point out that should be in common to most of us.

In my opinion it is a number of steps.

1) You have to shake off the crazy.

a) Start studying and looking at every field in health, science, the news and social interactions and other cultures that gives you real answers to life to replace the lies of Scientology.
b) Enjoy various arts and life in general like traveling, learning another language or culture. Ditch the $cienfraudently words, nobody understands that stuff out here and nobody wants to hear it.
c) Find things you like, explore the internet (it's international), listen to Ted talks (even the ones you feel not interested in), get involved in groups for whatever hobby or craft or profession interests you.
d) Go to a trade school of some sort, if you can't afford it try community college or there are even things like Woodcraft the store that gives individual lessons on one particular craft.
e) Once in a while go read the top 100 stupid moments of $cienfraudently thread. It gets easier and easier to shake off the crazy.

At some point it becomes obvious Ron was a con man and the real answers to life are in many other places not in his care and also HE'S DEAD and you're alive.

2) At the same time figure out what you would be doing if that cancer was never in your life and how far behind you got from everyone else. Pick up where you left off before this source of stress entered your life that maybe invalidated your goals that you used to have. Spend time with people that never have been into the cult and know nothing about it. Travel to other countries so you can more clearly see how much of the negative pressures of your life are due to politics, environment and economics so you can separate it from the damage the cult did to your life.

3) You have to repair all the financial, education, career, etc.. damage they did to you. Get a work history, an ID, drivers license, bank account, smartphone, education of some sort.

4) Recover your right to privacy. You do have a right to it. Also you can choose to lie if you want. Go play poker. The world is full of liars. Don't become a liar but just recognize the dishonesty level of some of the people around you. You can't just walk around spilling your guts giving too much information to people all the time, many will just take advantage of your honesty and use you. Choose your battles (when and where) if you just always talk 100% honestly giving your opinion and too much information everyone that disagrees with you will step up to argue/block/fight you or take advantage of your generous offer of too much information that's why I say choose your battles and there is no witch hunt sec checking out here, you can free yourself from that fear and the injustice that often followed.


*disclaimer
I can't tell you what to do for a career because I am a complete failure in that.
I can't tell you what to do socially because for me if I don't have money (a good paying job) then I can't be social (costs money to go out, or to have friends over and entertain/feed them) and that has pretty much been the case since I got out and despite being good looking and tall I'm not very outgoing or funny or talented.
I can't tell you what to do romantically because I am waiting until I get my back teeth fixed/pulled (Will likely costs 10k+) and get a good job so I can afford another half.

Clearly I have some ways to go but I'm not sure that can all be blamed on the cult but is mostly my own responsibility now that I have recovered.
 
actually a landmark for me in relation to CoS was thirteen years later when i hooked up with the legendary kalif beacon in new york and we did a free food kitchen in a vacant lot down in alphabet city

sonofabitch used to work me 18-24 hrs a day for months and i loved it

and i felt good about working longer hours for less pay than in CoS on behalf of "downstats and DB's"
 

Churchill

Gold Meritorious Patron
It is a very good question.

Real healing, for me, consists of recognizing the harm I caused others and myself.

Not sugar coating it, or minimizing it with bullshit like Hubbard "meant well" or any such revisionist nonsense.

Recognizing that he was one truly evil sonofabitch and that his defenders are deluded, evil, or both.

Both the letter reg and the OSA goon participated in the support of evil to a greater or lesser extent.

We ALL are culpable. And we are capable of self-redemption

Without this recognition, I believe it is an impossibility to reclaim one's soul.

That, for me is a hard, unalterable truth, not subject to discussion.
 
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Udarnik

Gold Meritorious Patron

This disgusts me.

You are proffering bullshit solutions to a serious and potentially deadly medical condition. Anyone who reads this an decides to try those "solutions" instead of seeing a real doctor and getting real medicine could, in a very real and significantly nonzero probability, die from the inaction of using ineffective medications when effective alternatives are available.

This kind of quackery kills.
 

The_Fixer

Class Clown
To me it is remarkable how folks seem to blindly accept anecdotal evidence of how natural therapy cures all and reject any ironclad studies of conventional medical treatments.

The study fields have totally differing parameters and proof requirements.

The IQ of human beings sometimes defy belief.
 

TheSpectator

Patron with Honors
I wholeheartedly disagree with you because the post I started was not about being a victim, but about recovering from the loss and trauma that an experience like Scientology can install in a person. These emotions do come up during therapy, it's OK to have them IN and OUTSIDE of therapy as they are very real and they do eventually subside. Like I said, I'm playing guitar like never before since I started acupuncture/massage and therapy and feel better than ever. When I hadn't got over Scientology I was giving the same advice as you; "don't go into any other practises or therapy". That was because I had lost all trust and didn't believe anything could help me. I do work and exercise frequently and in fact I did both in abundance last year and became very ill as a result as I was not fit to work and the exercise was too much and I ended up in status epilepticus in December. I too used to give this advice! Now I am having treatment and working less, things are starting to change for the better. The work like a war horse was an attitude I picked up from Scientology and I've truly broken it. The whole "move on and get over it" attitude is also a deeply seated Scientology characteristic where showing or dealing with emotions is completely anathema. Leaving it all to sit there in your head and body is not a good thing and things don't get better because they are buried or ignored. In Scientology I was not trained to be a victim but to consider myself a "cut above the rest" and put aside "human emotions". It has a slightly narcissistic edge and is unreal. "

Actually, it reads to me like we agree more than disagree! :)

My advice was, really, just learn to live life for all its good and bad. Work, exercise, friends, those were just top-of-the-head examples. I didn't necessarily mean them literally. Any creative endeavor is good. Music is a great pursuit and something I can tell you love. The emotions that come up during therapy are good, as you mention. Hopefully you come to terms with some of them in whatever way suits you.

Again, my opinion, I think many people will NEVER get over their negative emotions associated with Scientology. The only thing we can do is learn from our mistakes and, hopefully, make our lives better and more fulfilling.

I didn't say move on and get over it. I don't know how one would do that. Personally I live each day with the regret that I ever became involved in Scientology; that I was such a fool. While I once lived a life of Scientology hubris I'm now humbled at my humanity.

I'll try to clarify what I mean about Scientology victimization. Scientology auditing, training, and ethics indoctrinate a person to believe that whatever negative condition they're experiencing is because they've pulled it in. It's their own fault because there are no mistakes or coincidences. Your case was stronger than you (e.g., you were out ethics!) so you committed overts and pulled in a motivator. So it's easy for a Scientologist to become a victim and live their life blaming themselves and others. Maybe this is worth a post of its own to explore deeper than this brief paragraph.

Yes, I too was trained that Scientologists were the superior beings. We became Homo Novis after Grade IV, right? And that's another color of the Scientology spectrum.

Anyway, good luck on your recovery. It takes a long time…
 

lotus

stubborn rebel sheep!
It is a very good question.

Real healing, for me, consists of recognizing the harm I caused others and myself.

Not sugar coating it, or minimizing it with bullshit like Hubbard "meant well" or any such revisionist nonsense.

Recognizing that he was one truly evil sonofabitch and that his defenders are deluded, evil, or both.

Both the letter reg and the OSA goon participated in the support of evil to a greater or lesser extent.

We ALL are culpable. And we are capable of self-redemption

Without this recognition, I believe it is an impossibility to reclaim one's soul.

That, for me is a hard, unalterable truth, not subject to discussion.


I second to that!
 

JustSheila

Crusader
The healing seems to go in cycles for me, but maybe that's just life.

Most recently, I am learning to hold my ground and make time for myself and my own interests rather than always worrying about helping others.

It's harder than it sounds. I've recently become aware of some terrible, self-deprecating habits since Scientology and had the mindset that helping others was the purpose of life.

It isn't. It's just part of it. Most of it is about sharing, enjoying, living and loving. Quality.

I never said "no" when demands were made on me. An old Sea Org habit. I'd bottle things in and compromise until I'd get angry and then overreact.

It's hard to get respect from others when they know they can walk all over you.

What a difference it makes to know my own boundaries and hold them. Every aspect of my life has improved from doing just that.
 
This disgusts me.

You are proffering bullshit solutions to a serious and potentially deadly medical condition. Anyone who reads this an decides to try those "solutions" instead of seeing a real doctor and getting real medicine could, in a very real and significantly nonzero probability, die from the inaction of using ineffective medications when effective alternatives are available.

This kind of quackery kills.

I read that site as suggesting complementary aids rather than substitutes.
I am epileptic and AFAIK it is very unusual for an epileptic to get rid of seizures without drugs. I need my meds. However certain things do help and have actually been supported by doctors (plural). For example magnesium. I have read that taurine has apparently reduced seizures in some people. I take it for anxiety and other issues resulting from sleeping problems. I have also read that GABA has shown positive results with epilepsy -although there is the issue about crossing the brain barrier. I agree with you that quackery as an answer to epilepsy is dangerous, but with epilepsy and interelated compounding issues nutrition awareness can help if it is informed by research, which it can be.
 

Udarnik

Gold Meritorious Patron
I read that site as suggesting complementary aids rather than substitutes.
I am epileptic and AFAIK it is very unusual for an epileptic to get rid of seizures without drugs. I need my meds. However certain things do help and have actually been supported by doctors (plural). For example magnesium. I have read that taurine has apparently reduced seizures in some people. I take it for anxiety and other issues resulting from sleeping problems. I have also read that GABA has shown positive results with epilepsy -although there is the issue about crossing the brain barrier. I agree with you that quackery as an answer to epilepsy is dangerous, but with epilepsy and interelated compounding issues nutrition awareness can help if it is informed by research, which it can be.

In the context of $CN and its avoidance of the medical establishment, that is not how I read the reference.

But I do agree that there are non-pharmaceutical things you can do to help control auto-immune disease. Mg, Vitamin D, anti-inflammatory diet, all have been shown to have a beneficial impact, but none alone can control the disease.
 
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