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Just found this site today and signed up right away. I read "New Slant on Life" and thought it was interesting and went to the Celebrity Center in NYC. I was in Scientology for about 2 years in the late 90's. I did every introductory course and had some auditing and I was going to start helping out with the classes as a assistant. Then I read read "Barefaced Messiah" in one night and never went back to the org. They called me at home because I missed a course I was to help out on and I told them that I will never come back and they should never contact me again. I proceeded to throw out all my Scientology books, tapes and videos into a huge trash bag and brought them to the dump. I then went a little nuts on the internet and started to read and print out everything I could find about anti-Scientology materials for weeks...months. I think it helped me get over the deep disappointment I was feeling about Scientology.
I also started reading a lot Buddhist literature which compared to the cold and "scientific" view of life in CoS was a revelation.

I have been educating people about the true nature of the "religion" ever since.


PS: Before actually reading "Barefaced Messiah" (which I found in a Barnes and Noble in Manhattan) I had suspicions about CoS because of the pushy nature of the staff and the quality of the writing by LRH which is truly horrible and pedestrian but stayed away from looking deeper into the issue because I started to get a little brainwashed myself.
I am really glad I made it out before I went into the "Academy" because I might still be in today.
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Gold Meritorious Patron
Hello, mentallo :wave: and :welcome2: :thumbsup:

You are one of the lucky ones. Glad you found ESMB. Lots of sharing - and understanding. :yes:


Gold Meritorious Patron
Welcome M! Glad to hear that your time in the church was short.

There's a boatload of great threads on the board so stay a while and browse.

Voltaire's Child

Fool on the Hill
The helping out at the org thing is an interesting- albeit negative- phenomenon. You'll notice, of course, that it starts out being about you, what can you get from the courses, auditing, and so on. Then it becomes all about them. The deeper you go into the organization, the deeper they want you to go into it. And the more you do that, the less important your life becomes to them and the more deleterious the effects.


Gold Meritorious Patron
Welcome to ESMB, Mentallo. :clap: So glad you are here with all of Us. :yes:

I knew Bent Corydon, the author of Messiah or Madman "back in the days" and his book is not only very accurate but is also a testament of his profound disappointment. Bent gave his all for El Ron and to Scn and was viciously attacked for having followed "Tech" and "Policy" and helped thousands of folks get on the “Bridge”. :angry:

The fact that Bent has helped tens of thousands heal from or stay away from Scn is a further testament to the quality of his Character and content of his Heart. :thumbsup:

Face :)
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Yay! Great intro and good for you. You narrowly escaped hell. I wish I had been as smart.

Glad you are here. :):dancer::buzzin::dance3::buzzin::dancer::welcome:
Welcome, Mentallo! :) I'm glad that you found us, and so glad that you joined us here...it's a great group of people! :happydance:

I'm glad you "woke up" and realized what it was really, that you were getting into, before it cost you too terribly much...however, you gave it two years of your life and all of your hopes for a better future for yourself and others. I know what a shock it must have been to learn the truth about Scientology. The gulf between what the organization of Corporate Scientology is (and always has been), and their glowing PR about how Scientology will save the world by clearing the planet one person at a time is just a vast, vast distance.

Have fun reading around the threads and meeting the people here on ESMB. :)


Welcome, Mentalo!


Take your time, read what interests you, feel free to comment. You are with friends.


Diamond Invictus SP
Welcome Mentallo - Good to have you here! :thumbsup:

I was also in the East U.S. - in Boston.

I am curious how you came across that book you read - did somebody you know recommend it to you? Or were you already having doubts at that point and you began searching on your own?


Bitter defrocked apostate
Knowledge is power. Well done Mentallo. Too bad you wasted all that money on crappy books and tapes, but at least you got yourself out.

Also, thanks for inoculating all those other people since.

Russell Miller... what a star! What a great book that was - and a very brave piece of journalism.


Gold Meritorious Patron
Great to see you here and posting, Mentallo! :welcome2:

I agree with you that Scn is disappointing. Very disappointing...to finally realize that all the years you think you have been working for spiritual salvation of yourself and others and it all turns out to be a scam to enslave and take your money. :no:

It's good that you got out after only two years.

Barefaced Messiah is a good book. I am curious what provoked you as an active Scientologist to pick up that book. I would like to see more Scientologists read that book, but they mostly don't want to hear anything "negative". Very controlling organization.

Tiger Lily

Gold Meritorious Patron
:welcome: mentallo

So impressed you were able to get yourself out at that point! And glad you found ESMB. . . this will be a fun place for you!