Here I am

[Megalomaniac]

Nonsensicles

Don't try too hard to make sense of what you've left - it's nonsensicle.

You see these out the window after the bullshit that's been dumped on you thaws and re-freezes.

But like Zinj said, welcome to the thaw.

Mac

 

[Free Being Me]

Hi Miss, welcome!

 

[SchwimmelPuckel]

Hi Miss Penguin! And welcome to ESMB!

<snip> Back then I was a young, intimidated girl. I was shocked when she said it. <snip>

That may be, but you refused to kill your baby! - That makes you a hero in my eyes! - There has been many, many women in the SO who did have abortions. Peer pressure and Pavlovian conditioning applied as per policy..

Here's one of the many threads about this: Abortions in the Sea Org

And this, with the abortions, has to be the ultimate failure of the Scientology social experiment. Free beings? - Who accept and does this? - And a 'superior' organization, created with Hubbards breakthrough admin technology, that can't work if our children exists? An organization with the 'priceless' tech, but yet cannot pay enough to rear our children!?

Pfft! - An average WOG rollerscate factory can manage that for their staff!

<snip> I had someone I new a few years ago who now lives in LA ( I don't live in Clearwater or LA) call me with a business proposal, it was some multi level thing. The odd thing was she first wanted to know how I was doing on my basics etc. I felt like she was feeling me out to make sure I was still onboard. There is this world of the "ins" and the "pseudo-ins", if that makes sense. Both feel each other out to see what it is safe to talk about it. It's all very strange. <snip>

Nothing new about that.. This kind of suspicion was rampant when I was in (late '70s to '81).. Was what bounced me right out again actually.. Well, I was in the Guardian's Office.. Things were more extreme there.. Heh.. If you made friends privately with other staff, that was 'handled' as a security risk.

But the situation with money was flaring up to a nationwide PR flap in DK at the time. Newspapers were full of stories about scientologists who couldn't pay off their loans. And it emerged that the scientologists had vouched for each other to get the loans. In many cases illegally.

Nope! - None of these scientologists had any increased inflow of money... But that was because they were dilletantes with MU's, if not outright SP's, of course. They pulled it in and was deservedly bankrupt..

 

[Sir Facer]

Big Welcome

I've been lurking for quite sometime and have enjoyed many of your stories. I'm OT 5 and have recently (more like for the last two years) become disillusioned with what is going on in Scn. I'm "in good standing" but haven't been active as an OT Committee member or on course for several months. I have family member on staff, so I've been keeping my feelings to myself for the most part so as not to loose this person. I've done the gradually pull away thing.

There are many more like me who are keeping things good roads good weather with the org and terminals but know what is going on with DM, abuses etc. Most I know are fed up with the constant financial demands and demands of our time. That alone has become enough to blow public off the line without the whole DM beats his staff etc. Our local Ideal Org evolution has become engramic for many. I've never seen such a demand for money in my 20 plus years in Scn. The focus has been and is off helping people. I didn't get into Scn to create large buildings with nice MEST.

I was in the S.O. for a few years when I became pregnant and refused to get an abortion. All these years later and I can still recall the look on Kaye Conley's (not sure how to spell her last name) face when she cornered me in the bathroom, while looking at my large belly shook her head at me in disgust and said "How could you!" Back then we were sent to failing Class 4 orgs, it was a disaster.

This is the first time I've ever posted on a forum or website like this, though I've been reading them for the last almost two years. I'm hoping to find old friends and make new ones.

Big Welcome

I am so glad you have joined.

having been in a religion that make some one wrong for being pregnant is just so against morality & spirituality.

Its just unbelievable how the Church pushes out those who were helping the most.

I wish you all the best with your new found freedom

 

[Ex_SaintHill]

Welcome Miss Penguin!!

Did you also feel kind of weird putting your first comment on this board? Like you are doing something evil, and OSA will come by any minute and break down your door?

 

[EP - Ethics Particle]

Jumpin' to conclusions...

Mmmm, Kaye Conelly, one of my least favorite people. That family must have undergone surgery to remove their humanity.

Welcome Miss Penguin, I hope you enjoy the forum.

Penguin!

Does Feral's reply here indicate that we have another member from OZ now? :confused2:

Love, EP

 

[degraded being]

Hello, Miss Penguin.

 

[AngeloV]

Hi

Welcome to the sanity channel. We are 24x7 and are glad you have arrived. As you can see, you have lots of friends here that know what you are going through.

We look forward to more of your story!

 

[Tiger Lily]

Miss Penguin

You are very courageous to be willing to step out and look at what's going on with us "SP's". For me it was very hard to get past that "indoctrination" that wogs were stupid and anyone opposed to Scientology was evil. I was so afraid of losing my eternity. ESMB is a great place to explore that mentality and find out what REALLY is true for you! It's good to hear that there are people who are still in who are cognizant of what is going on in that organization.

Have fun here. There are so many viewpoints and experiences shared here, and you are free to really communicate. It's a breath of fresh air.

I'm so glad that you are here!
-TL

 

[Panda Termint]

Welcome, Miss Penguin, I got me a pair of happy feet!

 

[Species8472]

Welcome Miss Penguin.

Tell us about your enlightenment moment - when you realized you could no longer believe in the Miscabbage money making machine.

 

[Miss Penguin]

I was surprised by the reactions of two staff members (two who would be the proper terminals to talk to about this) to the SP Times articles when they came out and I asked about them. One said something along the lines of that's what happens when you do those kinds of things. The other said it wasn't a local matter. Neither tried to dead agent or deny it. Later I was referred to the Freedom Mag fluff piece. I think because we are not in LA or in Clearwater that the staff feel more removed, I'm not sure.

I'm sure most of our local staff know nothing about it but that will change if that CNN thing ever comes out and the reports of abuses go more mainstream. Most Scientologist and staff won't look for it but if it is out there along obvious forms of media they can't avoid it. It may take a few times of seeing these news reports but it will strike a chord within them. I know deep down they know something is very wrong with how things are going.


Hey Miss Penguin......Welcome, glad you've decided to post here.
I find it ironic that you are using the good roads/good weather (basic PTS/SP Tech) to handle the org!
Have you had any indication at all that any of the staff are also aware of the abuse's, DM, ect?[/QUOTE]

 

[Miss Penguin]

Welcome Miss Penguin.

Tell us about your enlightenment moment - when you realized you could no longer believe in the Miscabbage money making machine.

For me is started a couple of years ago when I noticed that at each event when someone got some kind of award and started thanking management etc, DM was being singled out and thanked separate from RTC. Each person would say the same thing in their thank yous, like it was scripted. I didn't like that DM was being thanked for putting the basics there. He started being given way too much credit and source.

Also when I realized that the Power FSM stat was being falsified. An individual from the OT Committee would go to LA taking credit for the products of the whole OT Committee and getting the label of Power FSM for themselves, not for the OT Committee, even though we were told it was for the OT Committee. That isn't what was said at the event. Even the person who went was duped and felt bad about it as they thought they were representing the group.

By the time our Ideal Org program started with having the public pay for it I knew something was definitely wrong and started looking online. There are many public, some big contributors who have complained about being in such debt now. They try to convince themselves that it was the right thing to do, but they know.

It sickens me to think of how many of my friends sacrificed so much, public and staff, went without basic necessities to donate for the building or to the IAS and it was to support a mad man. These are people that mean well and for a more worthwhile cause would have created great change in the world.

They will wake up the more that DMs crimes are exposed. I know I can no longer deny what I know.

 

[Tiger Lily]

I know deep down they know something is very wrong with how things are going.

That's exactly it Miss Penguin. Whether you like/dislike agree/disagree revere/denounce LRH (you'll find all variations of that here), this is something that you just can't look past after a while. Something is terribly wrong in the Church of Scientology. It's not the organization we thought we were joining back when we thought we could clear the planet.

-TL

 

[Alanzo]

For me is started a couple of years ago when I noticed that at each event when someone got some kind of award and started thanking management etc, DM was being singled out and thanked separate from RTC. Each person would say the same thing in their thank yous, like it was scripted. I didn't like that DM was being thanked for putting the basics there. He started being given way too much credit and source.

Also when I realized that the Power FSM stat was being falsified. An individual from the OT Committee would go to LA taking credit for the products of the whole OT Committee and getting the label of Power FSM for themselves, not for the OT Committee, even though we were told it was for the OT Committee. That isn't what was said at the event. Even the person who went was duped and felt bad about it as they thought they were representing the group.

By the time our Ideal Org program started with having the public pay for it I knew something was definitely wrong and started looking online. There are many public, some big contributors who have complained about being in such debt now. They try to convince themselves that it was the right thing to do, but they know.

It sickens me to think of how many of my friends sacrificed so much, public and staff, went without basic necessities to donate for the building or to the IAS and it was to support a mad man. These are people that mean well and for a more worthwhile cause would have created great change in the world.

They will wake up the more that DMs crimes are exposed. I know I can no longer deny what I know.

How inspiring, Miss Penguine!

Things have never looked better than right now for the rights of Scientologists to have the religion they thought they were joining in the first place.

No Scientologist ever agreed to censorship of ideas, or to have their rights taken away from them.

That was never part of the deal when we first signed up.

If you are able to get the word out to as many on-line Scientologists as you can, then it will make this process all the faster.

Stay anonymous, and do what you can with the comm lines you presently have. Get on-line Scientologists onto the internet. Break down the information control.

Thank you very much for your courage, and your integrity.

And welcome to ESMB!

 

[Wisened One]

to ESMB, MP!

Love this line:

They will wake up the more that DMs crimes are exposed. I know I can no longer deny what I know.

Makes a great sig line!

Looking forward to more of your story and posting with ya.

Michelle

 

[themessenger]

Welcome Miss Penguin.
Isn't it great being free to say what you please on here.
I liked what Feral said about Kaye Conelly's humanity after her treatment of you. What a bitch! I can't stand it when people are so callous and horrible especially over a natural process. It's natural to get pregnant. Kaye should look at herself, doesn't she have kids too? Or were they rolled on at birth?

 

[Miss Penguin]

Welcome Miss Penguin.
Isn't it great being free to say what you please on here.
I liked what Feral said about Kaye Conelly's humanity after her treatment of you. What a bitch! I can't stand it when people are so callous and horrible especially over a natural process. It's natural to get pregnant. Kaye should look at herself, doesn't she have kids too? Or were they rolled on at birth?

I think she did have kids, I don't know for sure. I do have to say she was the only one to say anything like that to me.

Also at that time Roll Back was being done on pregnant women to find out why they thought it was okay to get pregnant, who was making it okay etc. I thought that was kind of crazy since it is a natural urge and part of who we are.

 

[Type4_PTS]

Also at that time Roll Back was being done on pregnant women to find out why they thought it was okay to get pregnant, who was making it okay etc. I thought that was kind of crazy since it is a natural urge and part of who we are.

Who did the "enemy line" roll back to? The Supreme Being?

 

[dchoiceisalwaysrs]

There was a Roll Back being done to find out who thought the human race should survive Was this carried out by Aliens?:confused2:

Does this mean that the 4th dynamic is prohibited too?

The insanity of it all.

snip...

Also at that time Roll Back was being done on pregnant women to find out why they thought it was okay to get pregnant, who was making it okay etc. I thought that was kind of crazy since it is a natural urge and part of who we are.