Hey I'm back for a second

Div6

Crusader
Melanie,

I am in awe. What you did took some steel ovaries, and intestinal fortitude.
There will come a future when everyone involved will look back at this as a watershed moment. And of course your children will have the best mom in the world! (You can tell that I am searching for an acknowledgment of the appropriate magnitude....)

Be well, good luck and do keep us posted.
 

Zinjifar

Silver Meritorious Sponsor
I thank you all for the love and support. I surely need it right now.

Love, Melanie

P.S. Anyone ever been to Wellspring?

Bob and Stacy were both supporters at one time and helped a number of people go there. I'm not sure if that's a recommendation or not, but, Tory could probably help you get into enough contact to get a more direct opinion.

Zinj
 

Tom of Helatrobus

Patron Meritorious
Man! This is one f**ked up example of how Scientology does not work. Melanie, it sounds to me like your parents genuinely love you, but as much as I hate to say it... they love Scientology more. That sucks. But I imagine the way they see it, they are trying to save the world, clear the planet or salvage the sector (whatever). Just remember that you are part of the world too - so perhaps they're trying to save you in a round-a-bout way. That would be a justification for their behavior and since we are not Scientologists, we can be reasonable - even with screwed up people. Your parents are the ones trapped in the matrix. They are the ones who have been deluded - take compassion, try to understand. They know not what they do.

Good luck
 

gomorrhan

Gold Meritorious Patron
I don't see it that way, Tom. I can see why it's emotionally difficult for all of them, but I don't see it as her parents choosing the Church over their daughter (might FEEL that way, though!). I see it as them supporting what they think is right, and trying to lead their daughter towards that. I think they would err seriously to disconnect from her, but it is not wrong for them to argue passionately for what they believe.
 

byte301

Crusader
I don't see it that way, Tom. I can see why it's emotionally difficult for all of them, but I don't see it as her parents choosing the Church over their daughter (might FEEL that way, though!). I see it as them supporting what they think is right, and trying to lead their daughter towards that. I think they would err seriously to disconnect from her, but it is not wrong for them to argue passionately for what they believe.

The thing is that she told them what she had gone through in the Sea Org and they still stayed in. That's where I see them choosing the cult over their daughter. Or maybe believing the cult over their daughter, if they even tried to get to the bottom of it. This is a hard story to read no matter what.
 

thetanic

Gold Meritorious Patron
The thing is that she told them what she had gone through in the Sea Org and they still stayed in. That's where I see them choosing the cult over their daughter. Or maybe believing the cult over their daughter, if they even tried to get to the bottom of it. This is a hard story to read no matter what.

Choices are not a one-time thing.
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
The thing is that she told them what she had gone through in the Sea Org and they still stayed in. That's where I see them choosing the cult over their daughter. Or maybe believing the cult over their daughter, if they even tried to get to the bottom of it. This is a hard story to read no matter what.

Exactly! This is not a one time, one off choice thing. It's a way of life, where a familys future is on the line. And for those still caught in the trap, the family comes second. It is awful, tragic and inexcusable!

Melanie - it's a good thing you got to say what you needed to. The seeds are planted. My heart aches for you, as it does for me too, and anyone with family disconnections. Just stick with your integrity, that's the important thing. :bighug:
 

Emma

Con te partirò
Administrator
Jeez Melanie, I'm lost for words. :bigcry:

All I can say is you did the right thing - you broke the chain and your kids and your grand kids will never have to know this pain.

You are in my thoughts.
 

SchwimmelPuckel

Genuine Meatball
This makes me so angry at that cult! - Damn! :bigcry:

I do however think that it was right and in addition that there was nothing else to do.

.
 

Carmel

Crusader
Melanie

Hi Melanie,

I don't know you, but after reading your posts, I feel for you, your parents and your brother. I want to make a suggestion that you are obviously free to either take or leave. Please hear me out and get the full concept of what I am saying, before taking anything on board as an indication, or discarding it.

Maybe your parents are the one's who really need the help here. You obviously have strength and aren't or are no longer faced with a tragic dilemma, that apparently has no solution. You've stepped back, you know where you are at, and had the courage to face something that many wouldn't be able to (hence I feel somewhat free to be so frank). While you are hurting big time, the pain that your parents must be feeling is a horrid thought. It's not a matter of them choosing Scn over you or them choosing you over Scn. It's more than apparent that they love you, but the cult has such a "hold" and "mind control" over them (as it does with so many) that they don't have a "choice" (this will be killing them). You do have a choice, and you have made your choices. I'm glad you have and they are good ones IMO.

My advice to you is to look at things from their perspective (despite how stuffed that perspective might be, or is). That's a big ask, I know. However, while your parents are in no frame of mind to look at your perspective, I don't see that you have any choice if you want a resolve. Why is it you that has to step up? - cause they "can't" and you can. Doing so will increase your understanding and love for them, and with that love and understanding, you may have a chance at some resolve.

Don't underrate what your brother is going through. He'll be on real wobbly ground right now, and will need support.

Your scenario is a bastard of a thing (for all concerned). I wish you all the best with it, and that through whatever means, harmony between you all is restored sooner rather than later.
 

byte301

Crusader
Choices are not a one-time thing.

Exactly! This is not a one time, one off choice thing. It's a way of life, where a familys future is on the line. And for those still caught in the trap, the family comes second. It is awful, tragic and inexcusable!

Melanie - it's a good thing you got to say what you needed to. The seeds are planted. My heart aches for you, as it does for me too, and anyone with family disconnections. Just stick with your integrity, that's the important thing. :bighug:

Well, your both right of course.
 

gomorrhan

Gold Meritorious Patron
The thing is that she told them what she had gone through in the Sea Org and they still stayed in. That's where I see them choosing the cult over their daughter. Or maybe believing the cult over their daughter, if they even tried to get to the bottom of it. This is a hard story to read no matter what.

Perhaps her father will be energized to dig, further, at this point. I know, as a father, that if my daughter was abused by ANYONE, or ANYTHING, I would go ballistic. Even if there was only a remote CHANCE that was the case.
 

byte301

Crusader
Perhaps her father will be energized to dig, further, at this point. I know, as a father, that if my daughter was abused by ANYONE, or ANYTHING, I would go ballistic. Even if there was only a remote CHANCE that was the case.

Yeah, gomorrhan. A good father would, I think, as well as a good mother. When a person decides to become a parent they should also decide to become a GOOD parent and put that kid above anything else in their life, imo.

Too many of these stories have come out. It's an outrage. They think they can save a planet when they can't even protect their own children from OTHER cult members?:angry:
 

Pliny Younger

Patron with Honors
Melanie,

This will not kill you (although it probably feels like it) and you know the rest of the quote (although you are probably not feeling that at this point either).

You are on a much saner path than your parents.

Keep us posted.

ML,

PY
 

ChaoticPsychotic

Patron with Honors
Ok - here's the thing, I am wrestling with the heartache I have from breaking my dad's heart. I have been told by many that I may have found a chink in his armor. So I wrote him this letter. I am thinking of dropping by his work and taping it to his truck. I need input tho.

So sorry if it is tldr. I am just feeling around in the dark here.


28 August, 2008

My dear sweet daddy,

Can you know how much I love you? My heart is still bleeding from the other night. Of all the broken bones and heart breaks I have had, that by far was the most painful experience of my life. Can’t you understand why I did what I did? Now I wait. I wait and hope and pray that I will see you come out the other side. You told me once that “if this is all just a fantasy - well I’d rather live the fantasy than reality”. I hope I shattered that fantasy. You need to face up to reality.

You need to allow yourself to LIVE. You are only allowed to be a shadow of the man you truly are. Can’t you see that? Can’t you credit yourself for all the wonderful things that you have done in people’s lives? Can you not accept the fact that you are so inherently good that you and you alone are responsible for the good you have put in others? Must you pass along the credit you so deserve yourself to some other man who has been dead over 20 years?

I wish you would seek answers. I wish you would ask the questions I have. I wish you would stop to wonder why it is that so much is forbidden to you in the strange reality that you have accepted as THE reality in which to live. Why are you forbidden to truly thrive? Why must you forsake those you love and why must you suffer so? Why must you work so hard for nothing?

Daddy, I love you so much. I only want to see you happy. I do not believe that you are truly happy now. I believe that you have allowed yourself a sense of false happiness and you have bought into your own lie for so long you don’t dare admit how truly unhappy you are.
Please, I am begging you. Do some searching. Seek out your answers. Seek the truth and do not let yourself be bound by the lies any longer. It is NOT too late. There IS life outside of Scientology. It is good. There IS hope for helping humanity out here where I stand. Humanity has in fact been helping me. It is not all as hopeless as it may seem. Give yourself the chance. Choose LIFE.

I am here. I am waiting. I am patient and impatient. I want to have you out. I also know how long it took me. I will wait for you for as long as it takes. There is forgiveness on the outside. You will see.

I love you too much.

Melanie
 

EP - Ethics Particle

Gold Meritorious Patron
Some personal input...

Dear Melanie,

I'm a dad to two girls and two boys; all grown now, and have also been a dedicated $cio (the only one in the family, mercifully). I've read pretty much all of your posts, and if it's OK will make some comments and do some editing.

Great letter, btw, it had a big impact on me and others too. You dad will have huge difficulty keeping it all together after reading it - be prepared to send it multiple times, too. TR3, and all that...

Also, you are the "adult" in the relationship now. That's a fact, so get your wits around it and be the adult.

See, below, for what it's worth.

Love,

Roy/EP


Ok - here's the thing, I am wrestling with the heartache I have from breaking my dad's heart understand and agree. I have been told by many that I may have found a chink in his armor I think so too. So I wrote him this letter. I am thinking of dropping by his work and taping it to his truck good thought - but would be best if he finds it while alone, otherwise he might throw it away - and he may not read it for a while. I need input tho.

So sorry if it is tldr it is a bit long, IMHO. I am just feeling around in the dark here.

I edited it down - just a little...oh - and I STRONGLY ADVISE HANDWRITING IT, so it will really have your personal energy on it.


28 August, 2008

My dear sweet daddy,

Can you know how much I love you? My heart is still bleeding from the other night. Of all the broken bones and heart breaks I have had, that by far was the most painful experience of my life. Can you understand why I did what I did? Now I wait. I wait and hope and pray that I will see you come out the other side. You told me once that “if this is all just a fantasy - well I’d rather live the fantasy than reality”. I hope I shattered that fantasy.

You are only ALLOWED to be a shadow of the man you truly are. Can’t you see that? Can’t you credit yourself for all the wonderful things that you have done in people’s lives? Can you not accept the fact that you are so inherently good that you and you alone are responsible for the good you have put in others? Must you pass along the credit you so deserve yourself to some other man who has been dead over 20 years?

I wish you would ask the questions I have. I wish you would stop to wonder why it is that so much is forbidden to you in the strange reality that you have accepted as THE reality in which to live. Why are you forbidden to truly thrive? Why must you forsake those you love and why must you suffer so? Why must you work so hard for nothing?

Daddy, I love you so much. I only want to see you happy. I do not believe that you are truly happy now. I believe that you have allowed yourself a sense of false happiness and you have bought into your own lie.

Please, I am begging you. Do some searching. Seek the truth and do not let yourself be bound by the lies any longer. It is NOT too late. There IS life outside of Scientology. It is good. There IS hope for helping humanity out here where I stand. Humanity has in fact been helping me. It is not all as hopeless as it may seem. Give yourself the chance - at least take a look, for me.

I am here. I am waiting. I am patient and impatient. I want to have you free. I also know how long it took me; so I will wait for you for as long as it takes. There is forgiveness in the world. You will see.

I love you too much.

Melanie
 
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