ChaoticPsychotic
Patron with Honors
Hello to my friends old and new,
I am sorry to have fallen off the face of the earth for a bit. My husband and I have been launching our own business and barely have time to fart, nevermind post online.
I just thought that I would let you all know, if you want to talk to me, feel free to email me at [email protected]
Also I am making a MAJOR step sometime in the next few days in regard to the sit with my folks. Here is a letter that I am going to give them. Also I am attaching a copy of my story for them to read, even though it is incomplete. Maybe sometime I will come back and finish it.
Meanwhile, I miss you all and love you much.
Melanie
25 August, 2008
Dear Mom & Dad,
I have some things I need to say to you that I have been holding onto for quite awhile that I no longer wish to keep to myself.
I am hurt. I am so upset by the fact that neither one of you seems to give a crap whatsoever about the fact that the organization that you have dedicated your lives, money and souls to is in fact an organization that did irreparable damage to me in my formative years. For all I know, you both believe that I somehow “pulled it in” and “deserved” the flat out psychological, physical and emotional abuse that was inflicted on me by your organization’s members for 4 ½ years. However you have it justified in your minds – whatever line of bullshit has been fed to you by your DSA or OSA about the circumstances surrounding my experience in the Sea Org; is just that – BULLSHIT. Bottom line, I am one very mentally damaged individual due to the abuses I endured and witnessed others endure. I have come to discover throughout my life though that I was never first. I was always and will always be second to your cult. Same with Ben and Jamie. As a parent myself I am disgusted and appalled by your irresponsibility in caring for your children’s best interests. I am sure that you two will see ME as the wrongdoer because that is how you have programmed to think. I will come off as a “suppressive person” in your eyes because of what I am saying to you. Fine. So be it. Declare me. I don’t give a shit about labels. You do need to know how unethical you two are behaving with your lives and your life decisions. You have screwed me over time and again. Parentally, financially and emotionally. You owe me and my husband over 8 thousand dollars. Ever plan on paying us back? You forget that you wouldn’t have ever owned Aztec were it not for Damon’s credit. Dad, thanks for hiring Damon and promising him partnership and such and then hanging him out to dry about 8 months later with no forewarning. Oh and thanks for promising to file taxes with him as your employee so that we would be able to re-finance our house in 2 years (remember you were the one who guided us into the variable rate loan). We now have to sell our house by December or foreclose. Nice to know we have a strong potential of being homeless right in time for Christmas. While I am on the topic – I did you guys a favor by never calling PNM and having them just shut your fucking power off. I should have though. Boy will I pay for that nicety now. You kept it in my name for 2 ½ years after I moved out. Contrary to my continual requests. And now? Well now it’s in collections for $665 – scheduled to appear on my credit report in less than 2 weeks. Gee thanks so much for returning the favor.
Bottom line; I cannot trust you two. You have proven time and again that the actions you take and the decisions you make in your life will never have my best interests at heart. Love is more than just a word. It needs to be proven and shown time and again. You two have failed to do that. On the contrary, you have done quite the opposite and shown me with your actions that you do not love me.
Somehow, crazy as it may seem, I do still love the both of you very much. People who know me and know of my situation with the two of you think me a fool for even wanting any part of you guys in my life. Maybe I am crazy.
I need to walk away though. I need to have you two out of my life until you can prove to me that I matter to you; that my wellbeing is in your best interests. That I mean more and my brothers mean more to you than your fucking cult. That YOURSELVES mean more than your fucking cult. Prove to me that it matters to you that your group has destroyed many people and that one of those people is your own offspring. Prove to me that you honestly care about more than buying your way into the good graces of a false idol, megalomaniac who died over 20 years ago. When the time comes that you can admit that you were fooled by the most evil cult on the face of the earth and that you are sorry for not having listened to me so very long ago then we can see about mending our relationship and turning it into something beneficial and healthy all the way around.
Some day, you will see. Some day you will come to me for help. Some day you will chop off the tentacles of Scientology and see it with your own eyes. You will be proud of the fact that you raised me to think enough for myself that I was able to see through the bullshit and run for the hills. Until then I cannot be a part of the fantasy that you have chosen to immerse yourselves in.
I hope you enjoyed my bio. It’s very much edited and definitely incomplete but it sure was therapeutic to get it off my chest a bit. I shared it with the world and you know, the world seems to care. The last time I checked, my story had been read by over 10,000 people.
I do not support you in your belief system. I will no longer pretend to support you or Scientology. For me, it represents all that is evil in this world and I refuse to have any part of it in my life. I am sure that I have done plenty to warrant an SP declare – I relish the thought. It will be the final thing to sever my ties from the cult. Hallelujah!
Oh and when you pass this letter and bio along to OSA you be sure to let them know – I have nothing to hide, they will NOT destroy me and I am armed and if they try to take me down there will be a thousand to rise up and take my place. I am WELL connected in the realm of ex-scientologists and “critics” as well as within the ranks of Anonymous. I will not be silenced.
I will always love you.
Your Daughter
I am sorry to have fallen off the face of the earth for a bit. My husband and I have been launching our own business and barely have time to fart, nevermind post online.
I just thought that I would let you all know, if you want to talk to me, feel free to email me at [email protected]
Also I am making a MAJOR step sometime in the next few days in regard to the sit with my folks. Here is a letter that I am going to give them. Also I am attaching a copy of my story for them to read, even though it is incomplete. Maybe sometime I will come back and finish it.
Meanwhile, I miss you all and love you much.
Melanie
25 August, 2008
Dear Mom & Dad,
I have some things I need to say to you that I have been holding onto for quite awhile that I no longer wish to keep to myself.
I am hurt. I am so upset by the fact that neither one of you seems to give a crap whatsoever about the fact that the organization that you have dedicated your lives, money and souls to is in fact an organization that did irreparable damage to me in my formative years. For all I know, you both believe that I somehow “pulled it in” and “deserved” the flat out psychological, physical and emotional abuse that was inflicted on me by your organization’s members for 4 ½ years. However you have it justified in your minds – whatever line of bullshit has been fed to you by your DSA or OSA about the circumstances surrounding my experience in the Sea Org; is just that – BULLSHIT. Bottom line, I am one very mentally damaged individual due to the abuses I endured and witnessed others endure. I have come to discover throughout my life though that I was never first. I was always and will always be second to your cult. Same with Ben and Jamie. As a parent myself I am disgusted and appalled by your irresponsibility in caring for your children’s best interests. I am sure that you two will see ME as the wrongdoer because that is how you have programmed to think. I will come off as a “suppressive person” in your eyes because of what I am saying to you. Fine. So be it. Declare me. I don’t give a shit about labels. You do need to know how unethical you two are behaving with your lives and your life decisions. You have screwed me over time and again. Parentally, financially and emotionally. You owe me and my husband over 8 thousand dollars. Ever plan on paying us back? You forget that you wouldn’t have ever owned Aztec were it not for Damon’s credit. Dad, thanks for hiring Damon and promising him partnership and such and then hanging him out to dry about 8 months later with no forewarning. Oh and thanks for promising to file taxes with him as your employee so that we would be able to re-finance our house in 2 years (remember you were the one who guided us into the variable rate loan). We now have to sell our house by December or foreclose. Nice to know we have a strong potential of being homeless right in time for Christmas. While I am on the topic – I did you guys a favor by never calling PNM and having them just shut your fucking power off. I should have though. Boy will I pay for that nicety now. You kept it in my name for 2 ½ years after I moved out. Contrary to my continual requests. And now? Well now it’s in collections for $665 – scheduled to appear on my credit report in less than 2 weeks. Gee thanks so much for returning the favor.
Bottom line; I cannot trust you two. You have proven time and again that the actions you take and the decisions you make in your life will never have my best interests at heart. Love is more than just a word. It needs to be proven and shown time and again. You two have failed to do that. On the contrary, you have done quite the opposite and shown me with your actions that you do not love me.
Somehow, crazy as it may seem, I do still love the both of you very much. People who know me and know of my situation with the two of you think me a fool for even wanting any part of you guys in my life. Maybe I am crazy.
I need to walk away though. I need to have you two out of my life until you can prove to me that I matter to you; that my wellbeing is in your best interests. That I mean more and my brothers mean more to you than your fucking cult. That YOURSELVES mean more than your fucking cult. Prove to me that it matters to you that your group has destroyed many people and that one of those people is your own offspring. Prove to me that you honestly care about more than buying your way into the good graces of a false idol, megalomaniac who died over 20 years ago. When the time comes that you can admit that you were fooled by the most evil cult on the face of the earth and that you are sorry for not having listened to me so very long ago then we can see about mending our relationship and turning it into something beneficial and healthy all the way around.
Some day, you will see. Some day you will come to me for help. Some day you will chop off the tentacles of Scientology and see it with your own eyes. You will be proud of the fact that you raised me to think enough for myself that I was able to see through the bullshit and run for the hills. Until then I cannot be a part of the fantasy that you have chosen to immerse yourselves in.
I hope you enjoyed my bio. It’s very much edited and definitely incomplete but it sure was therapeutic to get it off my chest a bit. I shared it with the world and you know, the world seems to care. The last time I checked, my story had been read by over 10,000 people.
I do not support you in your belief system. I will no longer pretend to support you or Scientology. For me, it represents all that is evil in this world and I refuse to have any part of it in my life. I am sure that I have done plenty to warrant an SP declare – I relish the thought. It will be the final thing to sever my ties from the cult. Hallelujah!
Oh and when you pass this letter and bio along to OSA you be sure to let them know – I have nothing to hide, they will NOT destroy me and I am armed and if they try to take me down there will be a thousand to rise up and take my place. I am WELL connected in the realm of ex-scientologists and “critics” as well as within the ranks of Anonymous. I will not be silenced.
I will always love you.
Your Daughter