lorenzovonmatterhorn
Patron
Hi everyone, I would like to thank you for reading what I have to say. I just felt I have some things I need to get off my chest and looking for any input. If you decide to read my very long post I will appreciate it, but I understand if not.
Background
First thing to note, I am saddened how I have to create a new email address just to post this. And I don't want to reveal too much personal information b/c I love my parents very much.Let me tell you, my parents are very into this stuff. One of them is an OT8. One thing to note, they basically told me never to join the sea org. I have never been asked and never will do it. (although I have a friend that joined and I really just want to see what they ask and kind of make fun of it/heckle them a little bit)
My brother is much like me. At the age where he could start thinking for himself, he stopped being involved with the church (but we didn't go say "WE QUIT"). We still will very rarely go to the church for insane special occasions and get out as soon as possible (think I have been there once or twice in the last 6 years). We don't want to talk to anyone there. We both love our parents very much and all that they have done for us. I have a close group of friends that are all opposed to being involved with the church and think it's ridiculous. We feel some of the basic information is interesting and then it gets crazier the more involved you get. None of us have quit the church or are in trouble with the church. I don't have any close friends that are very involved with the church. All of our parents are still in the church.
Growing Up
I grew up going to two separate Scientology schools (one is Delphi). I wouldn't say it was a bad experience. People were quite nice there, and I made lots of friends. I excelled in math and had a good time (usually). Many of the people I knew there went on to Oregon and I very rarely talk to anymore. I never had a problem with any of the staff at the school or the students. Let's just say though, that I had scientology implanted into my mind at a young age.
To avoid summer school I was given the choice to do courses in the church. As a kid, going to the org with my best friend, and having the freedom to go where I want at lunch is a lot more appealing than staying in school from 8am - 4:30pm. I was put on TRs and Objectives. My friend and I were never into the whole church thing, and basically did what we had to do to get through the courses as fast as possible. We get to the objectives part and I just don't get it. My friend was having me touch a wall or something and I was like what the hell we are going to be in here all day. I told him (friend to friend) that I was tired and I really just wanted this to be over with. He asked me if I wanted to wake up. I said yeah. He proceeded to slap me in my face. I said I felt more awake and made up some stuff. We both laughed and he got the supervisor and I went to examination. I passed examination somehow (with the whole floating needle thing). This was at the end of summer, I stopped going to the church and back to school at this time. That is the last session I recall. (must have been about 7 years ago). And it was the last one of my life.
I enrolled in public school in grade 10 and was extremely out of place. I only had 1 friend that had came with me from my previous scientology school. I struggled to make friends all of sophomore year. I have a severe nut allergy that makes it hard for me to be spontaneous and try new things because I have to be VERY aware of what I eat and where I go. To this day, I very often just keep to myself. During junior year I made some friends and this was the time the whole south park xenu thing came out. I had no idea.
To the whole Xenu thing. I love south park, I watch it all the time. The day it was about to air my mom goes, "Hey don't watch south park tonight. blah blah blah" Of course I watched it online shortly after. I often found myself poking fun at tom cruise being in the closet to my few non-scientologist friends (and some of my close scientologist ones).
At the end of high school my parents divorced out of no where. They spend ridiculous amounts for the auditing they do and donations to the church. All three of my close friends' parents are divorced (and now mine). Scientology and Money being the main (but not only) causing factor/topic of all of them.
My life now.
I sit here, second year of college. I don't know what I want to be in life. I plan on getting a job in the summer. My parents support me financially and I love them to death. My mom hints at me going to do things with the volunteer ministers but I often avoid the topic, along with other scientology topics they bring up. I am not sure what I will do, or what the future holds for me.
To this day, I feel that meeting new people is kind of weird. My few friends (the ones that are in the same situation as me) have made friends, so there is hope. I haven't made many close friends since my childhood. And I don't go making friends with other scientologists, because I just want to get out of it. I feel extremely out of place by the whole situation. (As for dating, I feel as if I want to get some of my life figured out first before I jump into it. But I am very happy with my body, I am tall and fit).
I realize this isn't something I can run away from. If I had the option to ditch everything and start new, it would be tempting. I would miss my friends, and my family. I'd love to travel and get away, but my allergies make this very difficult.
My religious views now.... I'm not sure what to believe, but I like facts, and I am very open to new ideas (religious or not). I think that what happens after we die is going to happen. So let's just live our lives and not worry about it. I feel that people have their right to believe in what they want, and good for them.
There is so much more, that I can't think of, and this is already long enough...
I feel I have a lot of research to do.
Thanks for reading (or not ), everyone seems really nice here.
Background
First thing to note, I am saddened how I have to create a new email address just to post this. And I don't want to reveal too much personal information b/c I love my parents very much.Let me tell you, my parents are very into this stuff. One of them is an OT8. One thing to note, they basically told me never to join the sea org. I have never been asked and never will do it. (although I have a friend that joined and I really just want to see what they ask and kind of make fun of it/heckle them a little bit)
My brother is much like me. At the age where he could start thinking for himself, he stopped being involved with the church (but we didn't go say "WE QUIT"). We still will very rarely go to the church for insane special occasions and get out as soon as possible (think I have been there once or twice in the last 6 years). We don't want to talk to anyone there. We both love our parents very much and all that they have done for us. I have a close group of friends that are all opposed to being involved with the church and think it's ridiculous. We feel some of the basic information is interesting and then it gets crazier the more involved you get. None of us have quit the church or are in trouble with the church. I don't have any close friends that are very involved with the church. All of our parents are still in the church.
Growing Up
I grew up going to two separate Scientology schools (one is Delphi). I wouldn't say it was a bad experience. People were quite nice there, and I made lots of friends. I excelled in math and had a good time (usually). Many of the people I knew there went on to Oregon and I very rarely talk to anymore. I never had a problem with any of the staff at the school or the students. Let's just say though, that I had scientology implanted into my mind at a young age.
To avoid summer school I was given the choice to do courses in the church. As a kid, going to the org with my best friend, and having the freedom to go where I want at lunch is a lot more appealing than staying in school from 8am - 4:30pm. I was put on TRs and Objectives. My friend and I were never into the whole church thing, and basically did what we had to do to get through the courses as fast as possible. We get to the objectives part and I just don't get it. My friend was having me touch a wall or something and I was like what the hell we are going to be in here all day. I told him (friend to friend) that I was tired and I really just wanted this to be over with. He asked me if I wanted to wake up. I said yeah. He proceeded to slap me in my face. I said I felt more awake and made up some stuff. We both laughed and he got the supervisor and I went to examination. I passed examination somehow (with the whole floating needle thing). This was at the end of summer, I stopped going to the church and back to school at this time. That is the last session I recall. (must have been about 7 years ago). And it was the last one of my life.
I enrolled in public school in grade 10 and was extremely out of place. I only had 1 friend that had came with me from my previous scientology school. I struggled to make friends all of sophomore year. I have a severe nut allergy that makes it hard for me to be spontaneous and try new things because I have to be VERY aware of what I eat and where I go. To this day, I very often just keep to myself. During junior year I made some friends and this was the time the whole south park xenu thing came out. I had no idea.
To the whole Xenu thing. I love south park, I watch it all the time. The day it was about to air my mom goes, "Hey don't watch south park tonight. blah blah blah" Of course I watched it online shortly after. I often found myself poking fun at tom cruise being in the closet to my few non-scientologist friends (and some of my close scientologist ones).
At the end of high school my parents divorced out of no where. They spend ridiculous amounts for the auditing they do and donations to the church. All three of my close friends' parents are divorced (and now mine). Scientology and Money being the main (but not only) causing factor/topic of all of them.
My life now.
I sit here, second year of college. I don't know what I want to be in life. I plan on getting a job in the summer. My parents support me financially and I love them to death. My mom hints at me going to do things with the volunteer ministers but I often avoid the topic, along with other scientology topics they bring up. I am not sure what I will do, or what the future holds for me.
To this day, I feel that meeting new people is kind of weird. My few friends (the ones that are in the same situation as me) have made friends, so there is hope. I haven't made many close friends since my childhood. And I don't go making friends with other scientologists, because I just want to get out of it. I feel extremely out of place by the whole situation. (As for dating, I feel as if I want to get some of my life figured out first before I jump into it. But I am very happy with my body, I am tall and fit).
I realize this isn't something I can run away from. If I had the option to ditch everything and start new, it would be tempting. I would miss my friends, and my family. I'd love to travel and get away, but my allergies make this very difficult.
My religious views now.... I'm not sure what to believe, but I like facts, and I am very open to new ideas (religious or not). I think that what happens after we die is going to happen. So let's just live our lives and not worry about it. I feel that people have their right to believe in what they want, and good for them.
There is so much more, that I can't think of, and this is already long enough...
I feel I have a lot of research to do.
Thanks for reading (or not ), everyone seems really nice here.