Hi Folks on ESMB

Dark Phoenix

Patron Meritorious
Hi Folks

I just want to introduce myself. I've been lurking for a quite a while on ESMB, and there's a bunch of incredibly bright people here. I've also learned so much about people; not just peoples experiences within Scientology, but also peoples experiences as human beings.

I had some involvement with Sci when I was 17 - 19, back in the mid 1990s.I was a collage student at the time. I did some courses, bought lots of books and did some Dianetics auditing (no emeter). They tried to pressure me to go to Saint Hill in the UK, but I managed not to get in too deeply. The staff were just quite creepy. I would smile at one of the staff members and they'd look straight through me. I'd try to make jovial conversation about life in general, and they'd switch to a topic more Hubbard friendly. I knew there was something not quite right. I asked someone on staff 'How did Hubbard die?' A fairly reasonable question I should think. But his personality completely changed and he snapped at me that Hubbard didn't die! he just left his body, and his soul, or thetan, still lives on. What a strange reaction I thought, a reaction that bordered on the irrational. And this guy was a Clear. Another time I brought a friend of mine in to see what she thought. Straight away she could see it was a scam. Calmly and diplomatically, she told the Scientologist that you simply can't expect the average person to be able to afford the cost of your services. I could see the Scientologist, also a Clear, getting redder and redder in the face, clearly reacting with what seemed to be bordering on anger. But Clears, I thought, don't have a reactive mind, and so don't get irrational. The truth is that as soon as somebody challenges or disagrees with any aspect of Scientology, The Scientologist can get as irrational as he likes. My friend and I left without purchasing anything. I'm surprised I wasn't labelled PTS because of my friend asking questions and making observations that demand honest answers and acknowledgment

So the staff made me uneasy, and the cost of their services set bells ringing in my head. Being a college student at the time I didn't always have the kind of money they were looking for. And to be honest, I can safely say that if I had of had the money, I would have handed it over to them. Sure I was interested in the human mind and in helping people, but more than anything i just wanted to belong somewhere, anywhere away from home. Having grown up in a very abusive household, I had seen Scientology as an escape. A chance to feel part of something. Something I just did not feel at home. And I think that was my primary motivation. I did voluntary work through most of my teen years - a crisis helpline for abused kids or visiting the old folks in their homes. But Scientology seemed to be offering something that addressed my needs. It's interesting that I was drawn to Scientology considering that my father had already successfully brainwashed me through his abuse, particulary the emotional and mental abuse. And as many of you here understand how indoctrination and mind control work, growing up in that household, I didn't just believe I was worthless. I 'Knew' I was worthless. I really internalised everything he said. I am still fighting this to this day, but I've made a lot of progress, and will continue to do so.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I sincerely hope I can contribute meaningfully to the board.
Best wishes to everyone:)
DP
 
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rich

Silver Meritorious Patron
You just contributed very meaningfully. And you definately belong in this group. Or, we belong in yours. Whatever. :) Hi.
 

justaguy

Patron Meritorious
That's quite a read there. I'm glad you were wise enough to take your friend in with you and that your friend was smart enough to smell the scam.

It bothers me deeply that scientology preys on the vulnerable like that. You deserved better than what they were offering and I hope you got it.


:welcome2: Dark Pheonix!


P.S. They let me stay here and I'm not even an ex-scientologist. If I have something meaningful to contribute in 'their' eyes, I'm sure you do :yes:
 

Alanzo

Bardo Tulpa
Welcome Dark Phoenix!

By "all the incredibly bright people on this board", of course you mean me.

Thank you!

I had a similar purpose to yours when I first got involved. But I was not bright enough to bring in someone else to have them check it out.

So, already, you are proving yourself to be brighter than I am, and that makes me feel uneasy. So I'll be watching you!

:D

Again, welcome to ESMB!
 

Good twin

Floater
Welcome Dark Phoenix. I hope you enjoy ESMB. We are mostly friendly and lots of fun. I really like your name, by the way.
 

Dark Phoenix

Patron Meritorious
That's quite a read there. I'm glad you were wise enough to take your friend in with you and that your friend was smart enough to smell the scam.

It bothers me deeply that scientology preys on the vulnerable like that. You deserved better than what they were offering and I hope you got it.


:welcome2: Dark Pheonix!


P.S. They let me stay here and I'm not even an ex-scientologist. If I have something meaningful to contribute in 'their' eyes, I'm sure you do :yes:

Thanks for the encouragement, justaguy. Much appreciated:)
 
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Dark Phoenix

Patron Meritorious
Welcome Dark Phoenix!

By "all the incredibly bright people on this board", of course you mean me.

Thank you!

I had a similar purpose to yours when I first got involved. But I was not bright enough to bring in someone else to have them check it out.

So, already, you are proving yourself to be brighter than I am, and that makes me feel uneasy. So I'll be watching you!

:D

Again, welcome to ESMB!

Thanks Alonzo!

You certainly are one of the many bright sparks, I've thoroughly enjoyed many of your posts. The last thread I read was the Anon Orange 'I need a trained auditor and an emeter' or something along those lines. I imagined ESMB being this room of very dignified and poised cats, and AO charges in, with the best of intentions of course(maybe), like the blundering St Bernard, clumsily slobbering his way through the thread. Kudos to the perseverance of all you cool cats.:coolwink:
 
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Alanzo

Bardo Tulpa
Thanks Alonzo!

You are certainly are one of the many bright sparks, I've thoroughly enjoyed many of your posts. The last thread I read was the Anon Orange 'I need a trained auditor and an emeter' or something along those lines. I imagined ESMB being this room of very dignified and poised cats, and AO charges in, with the best of intentions of course(maybe), like the blundering St Bernard, clumsily slobbering his way through the thread. Kudos to the perseverance of all you cool cats.:coolwink:

LOL!!

He is exactly like a Saint Bernard! Perfect!
 

Alanzo

Bardo Tulpa
Whoa! St. Bernards are often used as rescue dogs. He may well think of himself as one, but some think otherwise.

Paul

I think he is a big, lumbering Saint Bernard, intent on rescuing every one of us whether we need it or not.

Dark Phoenix's description "indicated" to me.
 

Dark Phoenix

Patron Meritorious
I think he is a big, lumbering Saint Bernard, intent on rescuing every one of us whether we need it or not.

Dark Phoenix's description "indicated" to me.

Clever cloggs indeed. That and quite simply his way of expressing himself.

DP
 
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Dark Phoenix

Patron Meritorious

Thanyou Imout :wink2:

I enjoyed your thread about your daughter meeting her still 'in' friends and how well she handled it - Drama In Los Angelas I believe. It's so great to see young people really think for themselves.

Awesome:hattip:
 
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Dark Phoenix

Patron Meritorious
Welcome Dark Phoenix! Like you, I did not get too deeply involved in the CoS, yet it still has an impact.

Thanks for the welcome, Skollie.

It certainly is fascinating to be affected by so little of Scientology in comparison to those who gave a 100% commitment and/or have spent a long time within Sci, whether as public, staff or SO.

And on the subject of Scientology still having an impact on people who did not get in too deeply, I remember the actor Jeff Pomerantz came over to our mission to give a talk, i.e get us all worked up in a passionate frenzy and thus donate money to help fight the evil psyches. That's pretty much what took up most of his talk. And wow, what a performance. He could well up the tears on cue as soon as he started telling us how dedicated Scientologists just trying to make the world a better place were being persecuted by the terrible psyches. The abomination that is psychiatry just had to be stopped.

Now while I was aware to some degree that this was a performance, I have to admit that I was quite stirred up about these psyches. I felt angry at them. And I donated some money - not much as I was a student at the time, but it was a lot to me. I walked out of that mission quite convinced that the psyches were evil and were only interested in making people worse. This stayed with me for about 2 days, and then it just sort of balanced out again. But I don't think I went back to the mission until about a week later. If I had of gone to the mission everyday after that lecture, surrounded by indoctrinated Scientologists reinforcing how evil and terrible psychiatry is, I might have held that negative mindset much longer.
 
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Dark Phoenix

Patron Meritorious
Whoa! St. Bernards are often used as rescue dogs. He may well think of himself as one, but some think otherwise.

Paul

hmmmmm......on the rescuing front, prehaps he's more like one of those little jack russells that chase parked cars :D
 
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Voltaire's Child

Fool on the Hill
The thing about church staff is that they work many many hours, are short on sleep and often go without decent nutrition. They are also under constant pressure to get their "stats" up.

That's not creepy- that's victimization and (being on the receiving end of) predation.
 

Alanzo

Bardo Tulpa
The thing about church staff is that they work many many hours, are short on sleep and often go without decent nutrition. They are also under constant pressure to get their "stats" up.

That's not creepy- that's victimization and (being on the receiving end of) predation.

No Fluffy.

There are plenty of staff who are just creepy.
 
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