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Hi folks

exccc

Patron with Honors
Nice to find this group.

I spent about 5 years in the church, some of them on staff, before getting out about 15 years ago.

It amazes me how, even still, I'm trying to make sense of the whole experience. The Internet is a big help. So many stories. I can understand every word of each one of them as all the parallels in my life were there. It may not have been as long or dramatic as some, but equally significant. That's for sure.

I wish all of you peace and happiness on your journey.
 

exccc

Patron with Honors
WELCOME :happydance: :happydance: :happydance:

Glad you cognited so soon and only had a 5 year experience - how did you come to find ESMB after 15 years ???

:clap:

Yeah well, the SO will do that to a perfectly happy Scientologist. I was stunned at the actual conditions of the SO and the way people were treated.

When I saw long-time staff being FBed out because of medical conditions, I just couldn't accept the group think anymore. I mean, you had guys who had dedicated decades to the SO who where being let go rather than pay for needed medical treatment (which was rather serious, BTW).

"You are responsible for your own condition" was the general attitude.

The first guy I saw in this position was about 40, so I let it go. Then, in rapid succession, I saw 2 members in their 60s or 70s. Real veterans who should have gotten better treatment. I'm thinking of Pamela Johnson's husband in particular.

I started to realize, that could be me in 30 years and got out.

So that's my story in brief. As for the board, I just found it recently and so signed on. :thumbsup:
 

Wisened One

Crusader
:welcome2: exccc!

Look forward to hearing more of your story!

I left staff about 14 yrs ago, myself (but really *left* in 2004!).

Michelle
 

AnonyMary

Formerly Fooled - Finally Free
Hi exccc

So glad you say the light and got out. So happy you found your way here!
Best wishes to you, too :rose:

Mary McConnell
 

feline

Patron Meritorious
Welcome to ESMB!!! We are all so glad you are here and look forward to knowing you better.

I was not in but my ex was. Maybe still is, I don't know. We kinda "disconnected" after five years of marriage. That was a long time ago and several states away. I find that I am still dealing with it to one extent or another.

Hang out, read, post, and mostly, recognize that you are in a group of people who "get" you. There is something about this place that nurtures the soul. I hope that is your experience. It certainly has been mine.
 

exccc

Patron with Honors
Thanks to all the greetings!

My story is not nearly as interesting as many of yours... No high drama. I wasn't on the ship or uplines. Of course, I saw lots of crazy stuff, but it has all been detailed many times over.

It's also been a while. The details tend to fade. If I remember any particularly good anecdotes, I'll be sure to post.

To me the worst part was internal, not external. The years of feeling confused and worthless. The difficulty I had -- and still have -- from separating what I really believe to what was group think.
 

byte301

Crusader
Geetings, greetings and welcome! lol

Doesn't matter if it's all been covered, exccc. We still want to hear it. It's another confirmation that the cult was bad. We just can't get enough of that.:D
 

Mrs Pattycake

Patron with Honors
It took me a while to write up my story about completing OTV II - but when I did I found it helpful for me to sort out the crazy stuff from the valuable stuff - and when I started to write it I thought I might just do a page but the response from the readers made me realise that not many had experienced the insanity of the level of OTV II - so it was very interesting to them and so I decided to incorporate more details.

I have never been in the SO - therefore I find SO stories very interesting - so believe me it will be good for you and others ... please consider :yes:


Thanks to all the greetings!

My story is not nearly as interesting as many of yours... No high drama. I wasn't on the ship or uplines. Of course, I saw lots of crazy stuff, but it has all been detailed many times over.

It's also been a while. The details tend to fade. If I remember any particularly good anecdotes, I'll be sure to post.

To me the worst part was internal, not external. The years of feeling confused and worthless. The difficulty I had -- and still have -- from separating what I really believe to what was group think.
 

exccc

Patron with Honors
It took me a while to write up my story about completing OTV II - but when I did I found it helpful for me to sort out the crazy stuff from the valuable stuff - and when I started to write it I thought I might just do a page but the response from the readers made me realise that not many had experienced the insanity of the level of OTV II - so it was very interesting to them and so I decided to incorporate more details.

I have never been in the SO - therefore I find SO stories very interesting - so believe me it will be good for you and others ... please consider :yes:

OK, I did think of the MISSION.

I was at CC Int just when the renos were completed in the early 90s. At that time, the org had basically been operating out of trailers for over a year. So, before we could be worthy of such an upstat building, we had to get the stats up to a certain level. I don't remember exactly what was required, but I do remember one week a GI of $1M was demanded and achieved.

Anyway, the mission, from CMO, i think, were a pair of European hot shots. The I/C was the woman and the Spanish speaking guy her second. They ran around trashing the place and belittling everyone. Screaming at the CO during chow that he had to redo his O/Ws, etc. You know, usual stuff.

I remember one point, "order vs. disorder" was being put IN. The guy was furious because the sup had a lightbulb in her drawer.

"What is this?" She tried to explain to him that she needed it bulb in case one went out during a session. He was unmoved. "Just call estates to change the bulb." I don't remember what she said, but her eyes said, "Are you kidding me?" LOL

But the best think I remember about the Mission I/C was when she observed me sneaking a candy bar at the canteen. She took me aside and told me, that it was out PR for staff to be eating a candy bar in front of public. I guess we should always be working. All 16 or so hours per day. The Mission was also on a weight loss kick for the staff because we were to be fitted with new, upstat, uniforms.

She screemed at me, "No more peanut butter for you, Tubby!" I think I was a bit heavier in those days... :blush:
 

Mrs Pattycake

Patron with Honors
Wow - I find all of this sort of thing fascinating.

As a public , you see the SO as a unified group of dedicated beings - in fact you are lead to believe they are the most upstat and in ethics beings on the planet .:duh:

You do not realise the extent to which senior SO members are not highly regarded from within the ranks and how unprofessional they are in their actions.:duh:

You don't get to hear much about the actual scene - the real atrocious working conditions and lack of human rights :omg:

For me, it took quite a bit to confront the fact that this was happening in the SO.

It was THE MAJOR FACTOR in my decision to leave Scientology.::yes:

I could not have that we were the sanest group on the planet and yet there were insane treatments to our most dedicated members - to me that was just HORRIBLE.:angry:

Each and every story like this is valuable.
 

exccc

Patron with Honors
Each and every story like this is valuable.

I'm glad you found my story of value and I appreciate your comments, but really, my stuff is so minor. I saw lots of stuff happen to others and I heard even more third hand, but, like I said, it starts to all jumble together. More often than not, I'm reminded of something when I hear someone else's stuff.

Anyway, if you want to know what it can really be like, try the following:

http://counterfeitdreams.blogspot.com/2008/04/chapter-one-going-home.html

It's just about the best account of life inside I've ever read. I feel for this guy with every word because I have no doubt it's all completely accurate. It completely fits in with the reality that was the Sea Organization under Miscavige.
 
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