hi, iv been involved with scientology and i want to stop the behaviour an get out

nozeno

Gold Meritorious Patron
hiya. im 20 years old and i was introduced to Scientology methods threw a self help program who focused their methods on EST.
previous, i was very lost in life, felt alone and already feeling belonging to no where. a friend and their mother introduced me to this self help program and i thought it sounded fantastic and i was excited and i couldnt wait to learn more.

i would go to seminars with these friends and learn all i could, take notes, do excerisez, talk, and spend alot of time thinking about these methods. i spent 85% of my time alone and dedicated it all to thinking about my "new self" that i had created with my "friends". they showerd me with compliments, caring love and they made me feel like , me caring about them, made all the worlds difference and i wanted that very badly, for someone to care that i cared about them

as months passed i started becoming more intolerant, judgmental, very arrogant of myself, ignorant, uncompassionate to other, selfish, delusional, but i had been feeling great. i had support, love, acceptance and a sense of worth and place. i lost all of my old friends, i turned into hating my boyfriend . my emotions were very bi polar cuz i couldnt decide weather the Scientology methods were "right" or "wrong... thats how i was seeing everything, weather it was right or wrong, only in black in white and i had very high standards. i knew something was wrong but i felt love was my answer to everything and thats what i got from Scientology was love, caring, and acceptance

well a few days ago i have came to relies how iv been acting and why i have been acting that way and how i started thinking that way..

i feel really blank like a computer with no hardwear
i lost my sence of self, how i act, how i handle things, my personality has changed alot, i CANNOT seem to connect with people and i having trouble communicating with them. its enabling my relationships to further and im really stuck. im also seeing everything polarized like good or bad and everything that nearly comes out of my mouth is verifying that i wna stop and be able to focus my thoughts on not weather its good or bad but i have no idea anymore what to focus the thought on, or like what way to judge it or what..

any advice?

Get some conventional help (therapy) if you can afford it.

By the way I'm not convinced yet either. My BS meter is ticking.
 
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Winston Smith

Flunked Scientology
Get some conventional help (therapy) of you can afford it.

By the way I'm not convinced yet either. My BS meter is ticking.

I don't want to insult her, but my bull sierra meter is twitching too. The OP reads like a SO-kid's level of English spelling/grammar/construction. Sorry...
 

Lurker5

Gold Meritorious Patron
Ditto with the Doubters

My nose is twitching too . . . Doesn't smell right. Sorry . . .
 

Tiger Lily

Gold Meritorious Patron
Who cares whether this is "real" or not. The scenario is plausible -- it describes what I went through, and probably others. The advice given here is good.

First of all, this is supposed to be a place people come for support. What is the harm in taking someone at face value? If they're trolling that becomes clear soon enough, but if they're for real, we look like the SP's the CofS would have them believe we are.

Second, what's the harm in having a thread like this active -- there are bound to be more lurkers than usual even, because of the inquiry in Australia. Maybe even some current Scios might look -- the advice given here may be helpful to them. And, seeing someone given this kind of a "welcome" may detract others from posting here.

Third, do we really need to air all our suspicions, especially on someone's intro thread. Is it for bragging rights . . . "I told you so", or is there some reason I'm missing why it's important to point out every red flag we see?

-TL
 

Winston Smith

Flunked Scientology
Who cares whether this is "real" or not. The scenario is plausible -- it describes what I went through, and probably others. The advice given here is good.

First of all, this is supposed to be a place people come for support. What is the harm in taking someone at face value? If they're trolling that becomes clear soon enough, but if they're for real, we look like the SP's the CofS would have them believe we are.

Second, what's the harm in having a thread like this active -- there are bound to be more lurkers than usual even, because of the inquiry in Australia. Maybe even some current Scios might look -- the advice given here may be helpful to them. And, seeing someone given this kind of a "welcome" may detract others from posting here.

Third, do we really need to air all our suspicions, especially on someone's intro thread. Is it for bragging rights . . . "I told you so", or is there some reason I'm missing why it's important to point out every red flag we see?

-TL

You ofcourse are correct. I was not trying to be negative, to discourage. It would be wonderful if OP has awoken to the scam before real harm is done. I did, and count walking out of the front door of the org THE most important event of my life. Without that, none of my good fortune would have been possible. Thank you for your post.
 

Voltaire's Child

Fool on the Hill
Yep, it's worse for staff. Public sometimes have problems, though, when they've got family/friends/business associates in the cult. My guess is that the thread op does not, though.
 

Wisened One

Crusader
:welcome: to ESMB, vespertine:

You say you feel 'empty' and can't 'connect' with people anymore.

Here's a tip that may help: What kind of music or movies or books did you
'really get into' BEFORE you joined scn?

Go look for them again. Play favorite songs on Youtube and let yourself
'sink' into how much you loved them, etc.

It helps! :yes:

And yeah, just stop going in, if you don't feel right. Do not answer their
phone calls. They'll do whatever they can to 'recover' you. (And most staff
*truly* DO *care* for you and think scn is THE ANSWER).

Just don't answer the phone or door to them.

If you have any family/friends you should talk to them for support, as well.

Hope this helps! :)
 

Ogsonofgroo

Crusader
Take a walk in the country, smell the air, listen to the creatures, the wind, the rain, clear your thoughts for a bit and do a 'real' connect. Lose the clutter of words telling you what to think, and consider teaching yourself what to think instead, there is a huge difference.
If yer not trolling, cheers and welcome.
If you are a troll, " " " .

My wee 0.02 fer now.
 

olska

Silver Meritorious Patron
Who cares whether this is "real" or not. The scenario is plausible -- it describes what I went through, and probably others. The advice given here is good.

First of all, this is supposed to be a place people come for support. What is the harm in taking someone at face value? If they're trolling that becomes clear soon enough, but if they're for real, we look like the SP's the CofS would have them believe we are.

Second, what's the harm in having a thread like this active -- there are bound to be more lurkers than usual even, because of the inquiry in Australia. Maybe even some current Scios might look -- the advice given here may be helpful to them. And, seeing someone given this kind of a "welcome" may detract others from posting here.

Third, do we really need to air all our suspicions, especially on someone's intro thread. Is it for bragging rights . . . "I told you so", or is there some reason I'm missing why it's important to point out every red flag we see?

-TL

^^ THIS ^^

Thank you, Tiger Lily.
 

Mystic

Crusader
21mybl0.gif
 

Human Again

Silver Meritorious Patron
thanks for sharing that human again..and yeah i will check out CBT. wonder what its based off what though?? im afraid of again becoming something im not, where do they get info for therapy?

Hi Vespertine, CBT is basically sitting and talking with someone and them helping you to see your issues in different ways, to become more aware of the factors that may have contributed, to bring your cognitive (thinking) skills to work on areas that have been overly emotional for you before. Therefore there is no likliehood of you "becoming something you're not". Unlike auditing there is no result determined by someone else before hand or any leading you to any conclusions. It's been evolving for decades and isn't something that is done to you.

Good luck.

You didn't mention if you were in Australia?

History of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy


Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a general classification of psychotherapy, and several approaches to CBT fall within this classification, including Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, Cognitive Therapy, Rational Behavior Therapy, Rational Living Therapy, Schema Focused Therapy, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Each approach has its own developmental history. The following is a generally accepted accounting of the history of CBT.

The first discrete, intentionally therapeutic approach to CBT to be developed was Rational Emotive Therapy (RET), which was originated by Albert Ellis, Ph.D. in the mid-1950's. Ellis developed his approach in reaction to his disliking of the in-efficient and in-directive nature of Psychoanalysis. The philosophic origins of RET go back to the Stoic philosophers, including Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius. Epictetus wrote in The Enchiridion, "Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them." The modern psychotherapist most influential to the development of RET was Alfred Adler (who developed Individual Psychology). Adler, a neo-Freudian, stated, "I am convinced that a person's behavior springs from his ideas." Ellis was also influenced by behaviorists, such as John Dollard, Neal Miller, and Joseph Wolpe, and George Kelly (psychology of personal constructs).

Ellis developed and popularized the ABC model of emotions, and later modified the model to the A-B-C-D-E approach. In the 1990's Ellis renamed his approach Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy.

In the 1960's, Aaron Beck, M.D. developed his approach called Cognitive Therapy. Beck's approach became known for its effective treatment of depression.

Also in the 1960's Maxie C. Maultsby, Jr., M.D. (a student of Ellis') developed Rational Behavior Therapy. Maultsby's contributions were numerous, including his emphasis on client rational self-counseling skills and therapeutic homework. Maultsby's contributions included his concept of "thought shorthand", to which he refers as "attitudes", Rational Emotive Imagery, Rational Self-Analysis, and the Five Criteria for Rational Behavior.

Other influential theorists / practitioners include Michael Mahoney, Ph.D., Donald Meichenbaum, Ph.D. (Stress Inoculation Therapy) and David Burns, M.D.

David Burns, M.D. popularized CBT with his 1980's best-selling book, Feeling Good.

More recently, cognitive-behavioral therapy has been influenced by the work of Aldo Pucci, Psy.D. (Rational Living Therapy), Michael Mahoney, Ph.D., Marsha Linehan, Ph.D., Arthur Freeman, Ed.D.

© Copyright, 2008, by the National Association of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapists.
 

Daedle

Patron
Hi vespertine,

I've had depression in my past and used CBT to get myself out of it. Essentially what CBT does is train you to step back from what you're doing and look at it from a 3rd persons perspective. For me I was knocking myself down constantly - none of what I was saying was true but I believed it and felt depressed because of that. I thought that my friends were only humouring me and kept me around to make them look better by comparison.

With CBT I stepped back and looked at what I was doing and allowed me to see the flaws in my thoughts. I learnt to argue and win against myself when I thought these thoughts. I pointed out to myself a number of things that my friends did for me that they wouldn't do if they were just humouring me.

What CBT will do for you is get you to step back and realise that you are a fantastic person and the only blame for manipulation rests solely on the CoSs doorstep. I've met a fair few Ex's and current Scientologists and the thing that strikes me is that the vast majority are very good and honest people. They've had those intentions manipulated against them and there was nothing they could do about it.

You've seen and broken free of the chains that CoS puts around you. CBT will allow you to shift the blame for that and the feelings of remorse away from yourself and onto those who are truly to blame for it.
 
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