Homeless Ex-Scientologists

[prosecco]

Has Maria come back to respond to the queries here?

 

[Cat's Squirrel]

I have outlived almost all of my closest friends and I am only 69 (as of two days ago). Not only that, as a music lover, familiar faces who I've grown up with since the 1960's have gone, like 2 out of 4 of The Beatles, 3 out of 4 of The Small Faces, 2 out of 4 of The Who and 2 out of 4 of the original Pink Floyd, to name just a few. Although I only ever met two of them, they all felt like friends to me.

A belated happy birthday to you Stratty!

 

[JustSheila]

I really like what Mike Laws had to say - mentoring.

For the few X's who've called me it has been primarily for transportation away from an org & a very short term place to crash & breath for a few days. A good meal goes a long way.

I'm not qualified to think I can treat people or provide other than a very short term place to stay. I just do as my doctor friends suggest & let the hospital or nursing home see someone is paying some attention to the care of a patient.

I've said with some frequency that I have the personal opinion that sometimes a person can be a place where a short term hand to help them back up on their feet can be helpful to them.

However, the long term entitlement thing is not my bag.

I've even once been dumb enough to take a pan handling teen aged girl ( that really wanted to get off the streets ) to a local church that has an out reach program for the homeless. Turns out, she stayed there, still works for them, they consider her a gift from heaven.

But, I've deal with over 90 year olds that can walk faster & farther than I can & do crossword puzzles so quickly. Or get in & out of a tub with no problem. On the other hand, there are the late 60's locked to walker ( with no wheels ) & need a chair in the shower.

So many people with such different conditions that change so rapidly it is almost impossible to guess where one will be tomorrow.

The whole ' falling ' thing is frightening to many of us as we get older as we all know so many whose declined was marked by a fall. I'm no doctor or expert but I know 2 older people who " fell " when they were in their mid 90's & each insisted they never "fell". Both were very bright, very sharp mentally - one said " I was sitting at the counter & I woke up on the floor ". The other said " I didn't fall. I

collapsed ". Guess what matters is it looks like a fall marked the beginning of the end.

Lots of people have apparently very firm opinions about what ought / ought not be done in trying to do a little for others the best they know to do.

So, on it goes, each their own way.

This was such a great post, I wanted to quote it in full. There's a lot here. Thanks to you, Gizmo, for all your help and compassion to others and for being who you are.

The bolded sentences were particularly insightful. I hadn't thought of it that way before, but you're very perceptive and what you said was so true. For many elderly, 'a fall marked the beginning of the end.'

Every group has its language with innuendo. Whether in Australia or America, the aged I met feared when the falls would start and Gizmo, you noticed this subtle difference in what the word means to them.

I do not know if panic causes the fall or if the fall causes panic, but a few elderly have, IMHO, died from panic rather than the fall.

After one has a fall or two, they easily lose their self-confidence. Many times their health is perfectly good but that loss of self-confidence and fear of a fall turns into fear and panic of the slightest stumble. Panic isn't something their bodies can deal with - it causes too much stress to the brain and other organs and makes it difficult for them to think straight. One that starts panicing after a fall goes quickly downhill afterwards.

Some falls are just a one-off, just a silly, clumsy stumble and nothing more. But the innuendo is there, anyway. Family begin to fear for the safety of their parent, the elderly person fears losing independence and going to a nursing home. That fear is contagious and self-feeding. The more they panic, the sillier they sound, the more the family reacts. The more the family reacts, the more they believe the family member, the less confidence, the more anxiety, the more moments of not remembering or of being clumsy. It's a terrible cycle.

Three times I had regular, weekly clients well in their eighties or nineties who had lost confidence after a fall. One wouldn't walk without a walker for months, but she was perfectly fine. Her former employer kept reinforcing her doubts and that scared her badly. She recovered her confidence, but it took a year. Never had a fall again - she'd just been clumsy that day.

Another had a fall and paniced, he was then unable to think straight through the panic and thought he was losing his mind. It took months for him to get his confidence back. Then his high-anxiety, very devoted daughter came to see him and she was too worried about him to leave him to live in his house with carers. She didn't force or coerce him, but she was strong-willed and personally afraid of something terrible happening if she didn't put him in a nursing home. Two weeks with her and he lost his confidence again, which meant more stumbles, less independence, less happy, more panic if he was ever confused for even a moment. It was sad to see him go to a nursing home. I'd managed to build his confidence and he'd gone along just fine that year. Not after the daughter arrived though. He wasn't sure about anything after that.

Does the panic cause the fall or the fall cause the panic? I personally think panic is the leading cause of elder deaths. Certainly causes lack of confidence that contributes hugely to falls.

 

[JustSheila]

Happy belated 70th birthday, Stratty! But what's time, anyway?

Here's a cake. Try to put some weight on again. lol!

 

[Leland]

Happy Birthday Strat!

 

[phenomanon]

Yes, I've seen that too. It seems there are only so many things someone elderly can heal at once, so when there is a major bone break or something requiring a lot of WBCs, they don't have the ability to produce them quickly. So while healing from a bone injury or something else, what might be a minor cold can easily turn into bronchitis and pneumonia. That generation has been accustomed to getting over such things on their own, too, so they let things go for too long. Those that are bedridden get a lot more coughs, colds, bronchitis and pneumonia, too.



Well....

I have to be honest.

When you get to your mid-90s, you might consider getting your eyes checked to see if you need glasses and you might need skin cream, too.



Seriously though Pheno, everyone I mentioned had serious problems, and the odd thing about every one of the falls, is they were all well past a time their doctors told them their illnesses would get the better of them. They were literally on borrowed time for years! Every one of them was also a widow or widower as well, and that can often make a big difference. If your doctor never said you had major problems, don't worry! And tummy stuff isn't what I mean. They were all already getting assisted care either in nursing homes or at home and in and out of hospitals. You're not in the same group at all.

But I've also given care to heaps of people in their 90s, just driving them to the beauty parlor or shops and they all seemed about 70 to me! Folks that were still sharp, but didn't trust their driving anymore, but weren't handicapped physically or mentally and had lots of friends and family and were a joy to be around, like you. I even met a few in their hundreds. Australians can live a very long time with full, active, healthy lives. A bunch of people live a long time.

I knew an Irish couple that was 103 and 107 years old and they still danced together and both had a tremendous sense of humor. You'd be just a middle-aged kid in comparison. At 107, the woman was beginning to get dementia, but with the love they shared, it made no difference at all.

So cheers to a long, healthy life. You're just a kid, Pheno. You've got a long, long way to go, probably another generation. [/QUOT


I'm not wearing glasses yet, but I bought Hearing Aids a few months ago. I got them at Costco, and I wish I had gotten them sooner. They are a Blessing to the hearing impaired. I call them my " Hear Rings".

 

[phenomanon]

Thanks AM.



I came close to being shot dead in 1994 and consider every day since then a bonus. My closest friend died of a brain tumour in 2005 (I first met him at London Org in 1968). He was a highly-thought-of record producer with a family, and his passing was deeply felt by many many people, (orders of magnitude more than will miss me when I go) but he died all the same, and it seemed desperately unfair.


I know you meant embrace my 70th year (the one I'm in now). My goal is to make it to 70, as neither of my parents got that far and I just want to upstage 'em.

As for phenomanon, well, she's just a... phenomanon.

<trivia edit>
Btw phenomanon, I doubt that it's much consolation, but Glenn Frey of the Eagles also suffers from diverticulitis.
</trivia edit>


There are a lot of ppl who suffer with it. I have a 'young' friend, in his 40s) who had a foot of his Colon removed when he was in his late 20s, after his very first attack of Diver. My Bro-in-law, in his 50s, had 14" of his Colon removed after his first bout. I resist the surgery. I have had the condition under control for about a year now. there's no reason, really. I am just careful not to eat large, hard seeds, no nuts, but otherwise it seems to make no difference as to what triggers it. Stress is named by my Dr as a cause. The Shingles outbreak that I had years ago was also said to be Stress related.
God knows what will manifest these days, as Spouse has returned to the practice of Scn, as delivered in the FZ. Think that's not causing me some Stress?!!

 

[strativarius]

God knows what will manifest these days, as Spouse has returned to the practice of Scn, as delivered in the FZ. Think that's not causing me some Stress?!!

As long as he's only pissing his own money up the wall and not yours, my advice is not to get stressed and just let him get on with it.

 

[strativarius]

Happy belated 70th birthday, Stratty!

Thanks JS. BTW, I'm only 69, and this will be my 70th year.

But what's time, anyway?

Time? Time states the untruth of consecutive considerations...

<trivia>
I've just discovered I share the same birthday with Timothy Leary. Now there's a thing!
</trivia>

 

[JustSheila]

Lol, Strati! Sorry!

Cheers to you, Timothy Leary, and Sandoz pharmaceuticals! These songs are dedicated to your shared birthday and altered memories (are you SURE you're not 70?! ):

(Btw, did you ever see the Moody Blues live in concert?)

[video=youtube;A-r209RPsvQ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-r209RPsvQ[/video]

[video=youtube;Vy4opq1iYy4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vy4opq1iYy4[/video]

 

[Leland]

Lol, Strati! Sorry!

Cheers to you, Timothy Leary, and Sandoz pharmaceuticals! These songs are dedicated to your shared birthday and altered memories (are you SURE you're not 70?! ):

(Btw, did you ever see the Moody Blues live in concert?)

[video=youtube;A-r209RPsvQ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-r209RPsvQ[/video]

[video=youtube;Vy4opq1iYy4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vy4opq1iYy4[/video]

Dang Sheila, I never knew that Animals song "Sandoz" was about that.....Hummmmm!

Timothy Leary and his wife Barbara were regular customers of mine at Spago....back in the mid 80's.

Barbara Leary....is the sister of Tanya Roberts....a big Movie Star, at the time. Tanya and her husband were also my regulars...



Beware Strat, President Nixon declared Timothy Leary...."the most dangerous man in America..."

I always thought it was kinda cool...waiting on him....partially for that reason. His brain was fried though....and getting an order out of him and his wife...was always difficult....they couldn't make up their minds...about what to have. I guess the pre-dinner Margaritas didn't help either....

 

[strativarius]

Lol, Strati! Sorry!

Cheers to you, Timothy Leary, and Sandoz pharmaceuticals! These songs are dedicated to your shared birthday and altered memories (are you SURE you're not 70?! ):

(Btw, did you ever see the Moody Blues live in concert?)

Thanks JS. It's a funny thing, but while you were writing your post I was reading up on Leary, Sandoz, Robert Anton Wilson (of whom I am a massive fan and a collector of his writings) and all things psychedelic. There's no doubt that, looking back over my 69 years, some of the things that gave me the biggest buzz were:

[1] Learning that my application to work at the Sun City Casino was successful.
​

[2] When the beautiful wife of a GO staffer sexually assaulted me late one night in the Academy at London Org.
​

[3] The LSD and Magic Mushroom experiences I had in the 60's.
​

Maybe not in that order...

I never really 'got' the Moody Blues, but they were also mentioned in the articles I was just reading. I have never seen them live and I haven't got any of their albums.

 

[I told you I was trouble]

Thanks JS. It's a funny thing, but while you were writing your post I was reading up on Leary, Sandoz, Robert Anton Wilson (of whom I am a massive fan and a collector of his writings) and all things psychedelic. There's no doubt that, looking back over my 69 years, some of the most profound moments in my life were:

[1] Learning that my application to work at the Sun City Casino was successful.
​

[2] When the beautiful wife of a GO staffer sexually assaulted me late one night in the Academy at London Org.
​

[3] The LSD and Magic Mushroom experiences I had in the 60's.
​

Maybe not in that order...

I never really 'got' the Moody Blues, but they were also mentioned in the articles I was just reading. I have never seen them live and I possess none of their albums unfortunately.

Thank gawd I'm not the only one ... I couldn't stand em, "Nights in White Satin" (which until a few years ago I thought was "Knights in White Satin") still makes my hair stand straight up on end (not in a good way)... no idea why, it just does.




I've been playing "Concert for George" all day, get a load of this (the first track is "For you Blue" ... (1 minute in) it's exquisite and it leaves my hair alone, which is an added bonus).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U16IU7HwhDY

​

 

[Cat's Squirrel]

I like the Moodies a lot but I have to say "Nights in White Satin" (LOL on "Knights in White Satin" btw) isn't my favourite track of theirs.

Here's a good rock track to start a Monday morning with;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuhXZOauvNY

Trouble, I didn't know they'd made an album from "Concert for George". Sounds great.

 

[DeeAnna]

Ironically, just two days ago I was digging around in a drawer looking for something else and came upon my DVD of the Concert for George! It was kind of buried and I'd not watched it for a good long time. So I sat down and watched it. Fabulous concert, just fabulous.

Medical lessons for today: There are two main medical conditions common to the elderly body that either alone or in combination usually cause the falls. The first is called orthostatic hypotension. Basically it is a sudden drop in blood pressure caused by a change of body position - from lying down to sitting up or from a seated to a standing position. The most dangerous is from the lying down to the standing up. As the human body naturally ages, it becomes less capable of adjusting the blood pressure quickly based on positional changes.

There can be only dizziness involved or there can be a complete and sudden loss of consciousness. I do not write this to scare anyone. Only to inform. Go to a medical site and read about this condition. There are some simple measures that can be used, such as coming to a seated position at the side of your bed and just sitting there for a minute or two before standing up. Being aware of what this is and how to compensate for it in our everyday life habits can help all of us to stay safer longer.

The second thing that we "elderly" are prone to (medically I think it is age 65 now for categorization as elderly) is Parkinson's Disease or Parkinson-like symptoms. This is a disease that kind of "sneaks up on people". Many have symptoms for quite a long time without realizing it. And one of the early manifestations of it can be not raising the feet as high off the ground when walking. This can progress to an actual dragging of a foot or even both feet. This results in trips and falls. It is also why getting rid of throw rugs around the house is recommended.

Parkinson's is caused by a buildup of certain proteins called Lewy Bodies in the brain. These same Lewy Bodies are associated with a form of dementia, which usually eventually accompanies Parkinson's Disease. There are medications that can help a lot with this disease, so read about the early symptoms and be aware. If you think you have a symptom, don't ignore it, but get to the doctor for medication if appropriate.

My mother died this past May at age 95. She had been in Assisted Living for 3 years due to dementia. She got out of bed at night without ringing the call bell for assistance and fell in the bathroom, breaking her hip. (Her second fall in the facility, her second broken hip.) She was hospitalized, stabilized, needed surgery and made the decision to have it. She survived the surgery but had a massive stroke that night (one of the known risks of this type of surgery). She died 4 days later.

I will turn 70 next month. But I still just feel like me inside! So, to my doctor I'm one of her elderly patients, to my grandson I'm his grandma who is pretty old, to a friend who is 81 I'm "just a young chick yet" (Hah! Ya gotta love that one!).

 

[strativarius]

Medical lessons for today: There are two main medical conditions common to the elderly body that either alone or in combination usually cause the falls. The first is called orthostatic hypotension. Basically it is a sudden drop in blood pressure caused by a change of body position - from lying down to sitting up or from a seated to a standing position. The most dangerous is from the lying down to the standing up. As the human body naturally ages, it becomes less capable of adjusting the blood pressure quickly based on positional changes.

There can be only [highlight]dizziness[/highlight] involved or there can be a complete and sudden loss of consciousness.

Yes, I had a mild spate of that recently when sitting up in bed first thing. It seems to have abated now.

The scariest thing happened about two years ago when all of a sudden I got this weird visual thing going on, not an hallucination, but if anyone remembers those old monochrome TV's where if they weren't tuned quite right the picture would scroll up the screen (horizontal hold). Well, that happened. It went on for about two minutes (seemed like hours) and I thought 'well, that's it, brain tumour'. Thankfully that hasn't happened again. It really was frightening because I didn't know if it was ever going to stop.

(And if anyone knows what that is or could be the precursor to, keep it to yourself, I don't want to know.)

 

[DoneDeal]

Thank gawd I'm not the only one ... I couldn't stand em, "Nights in White Satin" (which until a few years ago I thought was "Knights in White Satin") still makes my hair stand straight up on end (not in a good way)... no idea why, it just does.




I've been playing "Concert for George" all day, get a load of this (the first track is "For you Blue" ... (1 minute in) it's exquisite and it leaves my hair alone, which is an added bonus).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U16IU7HwhDY

​

Thank you. Oddly I watched, so recently you wouldn't believe it, that same concert cept just the weeps track...and as the last time I saw it I was stunned at how much Dahni looks like dad, which made me smile and cry at the same time, which is a good thing.

and couldn't help notice Prince on guitar.

 

[Mike Laws]

I really like what Mike Laws had to say - mentoring.

For the few X's who've called me it has been primarily for transportation away from an org & a very short term place to crash & breath for a few days. A good meal goes a long way.

I'm not qualified to think I can treat people or provide other than a very short term place to stay. I just do as my doctor friends suggest & let the hospital or nursing home see someone is paying some attention to the care of a patient.

I've said with some frequency that I have the personal opinion that sometimes a person can be a place where a short term hand to help them back up on their feet can be helpful to them.

However, the long term entitlement thing is not my bag.

I've even once been dumb enough to take a pan handling teen aged girl ( that really wanted to get off the streets ) to a local church that has an out reach program for the homeless. Turns out, she stayed there, still works for them, they consider her a gift from heaven.

But, I've deal with over 90 year olds that can walk faster & farther than I can & do crossword puzzles so quickly. Or get in & out of a tub with no problem. On the other hand, there are the late 60's locked to walker ( with no wheels ) & need a chair in the shower.

So many people with such different conditions that change so rapidly it is almost impossible to guess where one will be tomorrow.

The whole ' falling ' thing is frightening to many of us as we get older as we all know so many whose declined was marked by a fall. I'm no doctor or expert but I know 2 older people who " fell " when they were in their mid 90's & each insisted they never "fell". Both were very bright, very sharp mentally - one said " I was sitting at the counter & I woke up on the floor ". The other said " I didn't fall. I

collapsed ". Guess what matters is it looks like a fall marked the beginning of the end.

Lots of people have apparently very firm opinions about what ought / ought not be done in trying to do a little for others the best they know to do.

So, on it goes, each their own way.

Gizmo,

One of the things on my bucket list is writing a book of what I wish I would have taught my kids (if I hadn't been a scilon). One of the first is be more kind, I don't think it would be possible to go to the grave regretting the amount of kindness we shared LOL, I like the kindness your post above reveals.

Unlike you, because I WAS an EX, and because I did have some success, I thought I should be able to help anyone do it and avoid some of the painful pit falls, LOL, (do the groans of embarrassment carry across the internet?).

I don't know of anyone who doesn't credit success, wisdom, peace, happiness, a good family anything positive in their life to some acts from a person in time or advice, or love, or support. Time seems to be that thing we have least of but is most valuable and important to share.

Personally, I am in complete and absolute denial on my age, I am re-doing my 50'th birthday this year because the last year was so nuts. Fortunately at 6'3 I have a long arm span so can still read labels on things without glasses.

 

[Gizmo]

Mike, thank you for your kind words.

After my Father had long since passed away I became deeply aware there were questions I never asked that over the decades, shall we saw, gnawed at me for not doing so when I could have.

So, I decided to write out those questions I think ( or am just extremely arrogant ) one day my kids might wonder what old dad would have said.

It is damn near never ending revisions of what I'm writing. The longest 'letter to my children' by far has been on what I've learned contributes to a good relationship that can last a lifetime.

I also found this which I also work on writing out the answer to :

Brendon Burchard's 32 questions to interview someone you love about life.

If you like those questions I'd be glad to PM them to you.

I just work on trying to be a better person. Better person than what ? The person I was yesterday.





'

 

[Terril park]

I just work on trying to be a better person. Better person than what ? The person I was yesterday.


'

A noble aim.