How do you know when you've decompressed?

prosecco

Patron Meritorious
I recently saw a comment about how Marty hadn't really decompressed, which got me thinking: how does one know? Have I decompressed?

For the most part, think Hubbard was a con man. I don't know whether jt was a con from the start or not, but he seemed to believe it.

There are some automatic responses I still have, such as when I'm sick, there will be a brief thought whether I'm PTS, and I tend to stay quiet when the kids hurt themselves, probably more out of comfort than anything else. Sometimes will look up words with the kids, but don't get into word chains etc.

Other than that, have a fairly busy life. It would be great to discover that all the work, time and effort put into scientology was worthwhile, but don't think that's going to happen...

So, is there a decompression chamber, where one steps into normality, or is it a slow process?
 

AngeloV

Gold Meritorious Patron
You are already in the decompression chamber. It's called life outside the church. Since it took time to compress scientology thinking/behaving into yourself, so it takes time to shed it.

My advice FWIW: Don't use scio words or modes of thinking. At all. Looking up words is looking up words...not study 'tek'. When you find yourself thinking using scio terminology, stop and re-think it in regular language.

It takes time...hang in there.
 

prosecco

Patron Meritorious
You are already in the decompression chamber. It's called life outside the church. Since it took time to compress scientology thinking/behaving into yourself, so it takes time to shed it.

My advice FWIW: Don't use scio words or modes of thinking. At all. Looking up words is looking up words...not study 'tek'. When you find yourself thinking using scio terminology, stop and re-think it in regular language.

It takes time...hang in there.

Fair point. Thank you.
 

He-man

Hero extraordinary
Decompression takes time, for some more then most.

Are you able to go a whole day w/o thinking about your scientology experience?

Are you able to solve a problem w/o going into the ethics/conditions mindset?

Are you able to think about previous experiences w/o defining them as "case"?

Are you able to communicate w/o staying within the scientology boundaries of how "communication" should look like, freely touching conversation subjects that previously would have been taboo such as Entheta, 3rd partying etc?

For me it took I'd say 5 years before I started behaving somewhat "normal" in social environments. I consider those 5 years to have been my decompression.
 

prosecco

Patron Meritorious
Decompression takes time, for some more then most.

Are you able to go a whole day w/o thinking about your scientology experience?

Are you able to solve a problem w/o going into the ethics/conditions mindset?

Are you able to think about previous experiences w/o defining them as "case"?

Are you able to communicate w/o staying within the scientology boundaries of how "communication" should look like, freely touching conversation subjects that previously would have been taboo such as Entheta, 3rd partying etc?

For me it took I'd say 5 years before I started behaving somewhat "normal" in social environments. I consider those 5 years to have been my decompression.

Really good list. It's tricky to separate out being in scientology from daily life as I have genuine friends from that period, and there is the association, but overall, yes, don't have issues with discussing the numerous aspects of mind control. Also seem to have evolved from the, 'cherry picking' phase of, 'oh, but the data series is useful,'
 

Bea Kiddo

Crusader
Decompression takes time, for some more then most.

Are you able to go a whole day w/o thinking about your scientology experience?

Are you able to solve a problem w/o going into the ethics/conditions mindset?

Are you able to think about previous experiences w/o defining them as "case"?

Are you able to communicate w/o staying within the scientology boundaries of how "communication" should look like, freely touching conversation subjects that previously would have been taboo such as Entheta, 3rd partying etc?

For me it took I'd say 5 years before I started behaving somewhat "normal" in social environments. I consider those 5 years to have been my decompression.

I think each person is different and we can all give our own views on it.

Personally, I hate to say this, but everyone I know, even those who have been out for more than 20 years are still decompressing from it. All of the people I know who are exes are still trying to sort through things.

Some are emotional about it. Some shut it out completely.

All try to move on in their own ways.

But all of them still have dreams and nightmares. It sucks but its fact.

I am not saying accept it, but I am saying, let it take its time and don't let it eat you up.

I don't think it will EVER be totally gone, but so what? Take it as a learning experience.

Right after I got out of Scn I ended up working with a very interesting group of people who have a very passive and accepting view of people. It was a complete turn-around to what I was used to. And it taught me many things, but a big thing it taught me is to take every experience and try to learn something from it. We are always learning.

--------------

And I have always come back to this thought:

My current life is awesome. I am almost afraid to say that things are going so well... I am scared that it will all vanish if I admit things are great. But There, I did it. And I can't help but wonder, did everything in my life lead up to this? In other words, if that whole Scn life had not happened, would I still be in the place that I am now? Maybe, but maybe not. So, to get where I am now, was all that worth it? I guess so.

I am not saying I got here because of any belief or practice in Scn. I am saying that what I did and what happened to me - the happenings have resulted in where I am now, which at this time is a great place.

----------

I hope this helps.
 

prosecco

Patron Meritorious
I think each person is different and we can all give our own views on it.

Personally, I hate to say this, but everyone I know, even those who have been out for more than 20 years are still decompressing from it. All of the people I know who are exes are still trying to sort through things.

Some are emotional about it. Some shut it out completely.

All try to move on in their own ways.

But all of them still have dreams and nightmares. It sucks but its fact.

I am not saying accept it, but I am saying, let it take its time and don't let it eat you up.

I don't think it will EVER be totally gone, but so what? Take it as a learning experience.

Right after I got out of Scn I ended up working with a very interesting group of people who have a very passive and accepting view of people. It was a complete turn-around to what I was used to. And it taught me many things, but a big thing it taught me is to take every experience and try to learn something from it. We are always learning.

--------------

And I have always come back to this thought:

My current life is awesome. I am almost afraid to say that things are going so well... I am scared that it will all vanish if I admit things are great. But There, I did it. And I can't help but wonder, did everything in my life lead up to this? In other words, if that whole Scn life had not happened, would I still be in the place that I am now? Maybe, but maybe not. So, to get where I am now, was all that worth it? I guess so.

I am not saying I got here because of any belief or practice in Scn. I am saying that what I did and what happened to me - the happenings have resulted in where I am now, which at this time is a great place.

----------

I hope this helps.

What a brilliant post, thank you. Will think about your point that all of life previous may lead to the point we are in now. It's not something I've thought about before, as much of the decision to be in scientology wasn't mine, but my parents, however all the achievements post scientology have been mine alone.

So pleased things are going well for you.
 

Bea Kiddo

Crusader
What a brilliant post, thank you. Will think about your point that all of life previous may lead to the point we are in now. It's not something I've thought about before, as much of the decision to be in scientology wasn't mine, but my parents, however all the achievements post scientology have been mine alone.

So pleased things are going well for you.

We are very similar then... because I was born and raised in Scn and got out after 32 years (17 of which was in the Sea Org).

There is a movie called "Sliding Doors" (1998) with Gwenyth Paltrow in it. It is a slow paced movie, but worth the watch. It shows how missing an elevator door changes her life. It shows both ways... if she had made it into the elevator and if she had not. And what the outcome of it was. Sounds boring when I write it, but it is really worth the watch.

-----

We can spend life dwelling on it all, or use it as a lesson learned.
 

He-man

Hero extraordinary
Really good list. It's tricky to separate out being in scientology from daily life as I have genuine friends from that period, and there is the association, but overall, yes, don't have issues with discussing the numerous aspects of mind control. Also seem to have evolved from the, 'cherry picking' phase of, 'oh, but the data series is useful,'

I think each person is different and we can all give our own views on it.

Personally, I hate to say this, but everyone I know, even those who have been out for more than 20 years are still decompressing from it. All of the people I know who are exes are still trying to sort through things.

Some are emotional about it. Some shut it out completely.

All try to move on in their own ways.

But all of them still have dreams and nightmares. It sucks but its fact.

I am not saying accept it, but I am saying, let it take its time and don't let it eat you up.

I don't think it will EVER be totally gone, but so what? Take it as a learning experience.

Right after I got out of Scn I ended up working with a very interesting group of people who have a very passive and accepting view of people. It was a complete turn-around to what I was used to. And it taught me many things, but a big thing it taught me is to take every experience and try to learn something from it. We are always learning.

--------------

And I have always come back to this thought:

My current life is awesome. I am almost afraid to say that things are going so well... I am scared that it will all vanish if I admit things are great. But There, I did it. And I can't help but wonder, did everything in my life lead up to this? In other words, if that whole Scn life had not happened, would I still be in the place that I am now? Maybe, but maybe not. So, to get where I am now, was all that worth it? I guess so.

I am not saying I got here because of any belief or practice in Scn. I am saying that what I did and what happened to me - the happenings have resulted in where I am now, which at this time is a great place.

----------

I hope this helps.

I stopped having dreams from my time in the SO back in 2011. So, the dreams, or nightmares actually, ended for me over more then 10 years. I remember the last one I had because me and my wife talked about it when it woke me up. Not one now for 3 years.

Would I be the same person if I hadn't been born in scientology? Do I regret being born into scientology? I don't know. I used to regret it, wishing that I'd be born without it, but the every single friend I have wrestle with some daemons of their past. This was mine. I think that had me parents chosen another path to walk, or if I had, that my life would have been entirely different but it wouldn't have been "me". So I suppose I'm content as it is.
 

DeeAnna

Patron Meritorious
"My advice FWIW: Don't use scio words or modes of thinking. At all. Looking up words is looking up words...not study 'tek'. When you find yourself thinking using scio terminology, stop and re-think it in regular language."

^^^^THIS!!^^^^
 

Terril park

Sponsor
I think each person is different and we can all give our own views on it.

Personally, I hate to say this, but everyone I know, even those who have been out for more than 20 years are still decompressing from it. All of the people I know who are exes are still trying to sort through things.

Some are emotional about it. Some shut it out completely.

All try to move on in their own ways.

But all of them still have dreams and nightmares. It sucks but its fact.

I am not saying accept it, but I am saying, let it take its time and don't let it eat you up.

I don't think it will EVER be totally gone, but so what? Take it as a learning experience.

Right after I got out of Scn I ended up working with a very interesting group of people who have a very passive and accepting view of people. It was a complete turn-around to what I was used to. And it taught me many things, but a big thing it taught me is to take every experience and try to learn something from it. We are always learning.

--------------

And I have always come back to this thought:

My current life is awesome. I am almost afraid to say that things are going so well... I am scared that it will all vanish if I admit things are great. But There, I did it. And I can't help but wonder, did everything in my life lead up to this? In other words, if that whole Scn life had not happened, would I still be in the place that I am now? Maybe, but maybe not. So, to get where I am now, was all that worth it? I guess so.

I am not saying I got here because of any belief or practice in Scn. I am saying that what I did and what happened to me - the happenings have resulted in where I am now, which at this time is a great place.

----------

I hope this helps.

You're a star. It was inevitable you'd end up with a good life.
 
.
.

Are you a thetan?
Are perceptions, ideas, purposes, all, or in part, things which are 'possessed by' the 'thetan' and not reliant on the mind, the brain, other body parts or functions?

Have you discarded the 'thetan' by renaming it with a new term, or one you used prior to your sci-cult experiences, but keeping some of the 'thetan' attributes/powers, and just reassigning them to the non-thetan term?

Why did the 'thetan' idea seem so attractive?
Did it reinforce BS from other religions, culture, wishful thinking, magical thinking, and just add promises that if you paid the money and did 'the Bridge', the BS would become reality?

Scientology brainwashing relies on already existing misconceptions, outright BS fed to us all our lives, our own lack of awareness, missing information, etc. For some, just dropping scientology might fix up their lives. Not with me. There was/is lots of other stuff that was wonky too.
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation
I recently saw a comment about how Marty hadn't really decompressed, which got me thinking: how does one know? Have I decompressed?

For the most part, think Hubbard was a con man. I don't know whether jt was a con from the start or not, but he seemed to believe it.

There are some automatic responses I still have, such as when I'm sick, there will be a brief thought whether I'm PTS, and I tend to stay quiet when the kids hurt themselves, probably more out of comfort than anything else. Sometimes will look up words with the kids, but don't get into word chains etc.

Other than that, have a fairly busy life. It would be great to discover that all the work, time and effort put into scientology was worthwhile, but don't think that's going to happen...

So, is there a decompression chamber, where one steps into normality, or is it a slow process?


Someone once quoted an article (I think it was Emma) that stated that it takes about the same amount of time as you were "in" a cult to fully decompress from one. When I read that I cringed but immediately decided that I was only really "in" for about 6 years and for the rest (a looooong time) I was just pretending/acting due to the threat of the usual stresses of leaving, and that made me feel a bit better (lol).

:coolwink:

I also believe that if you lost people that you still care about when you left, you may not even start to really heal until those relationships are resolved and we all know that often they never will be ... so (speaking for myself only now) the best way to cope was to mentally stuff it all into a box, tie it with some ribbon and store it ... marked "to be opened rarely" because it's pretty pointless going round and round in circles trying to work out what happened ... I already know exactly what happened, scientology happened and it seriously screws things up and now I will need to live with the results, possibly forever.

Facing that was a major thing for me and helped enormously and funnily enough, it took about 6 years to arrive at that point.



:confused2:
 

Bea Kiddo

Crusader
Someone once quoted an article (I think it was Emma) that stated that it takes about the same amount of time as you were "in" a cult to fully decompress from one. When I read that I cringed but immediately decided that I was only really "in" for about 6 years and for the rest (a looooong time) I was just pretending/acting due to the threat of the usual stresses of leaving, and that made me feel a bit better (lol).

:coolwink:

I also believe that if you lost people that you still care about when you left, you may not even start to really heal until those relationships are resolved and we all know that often they never are ... so (speaking for myself only now) the best way to cope was to mentally stuff it all into a box, tie it with some ribbon and store it ... marked "to be opened rarely" because it's pretty pointless going round and round in circles trying to work out what happened ... I already know exactly what happened, scientology happened and it seriously screws things up and now I will need to live with the results, possibly forever.

Facing that was a major thing for me and helped enormously and funnily enough, it took about 6 years to arrive at that point.



:confused2:

I love that about you. Always boiling it down to the simples, if you know what I mean. These are good points.
 

Gib

Crusader
"My advice FWIW: Don't use scio words or modes of thinking. At all. Looking up words is looking up words...not study 'tek'. When you find yourself thinking using scio terminology, stop and re-think it in regular language."

^^^^THIS!!^^^^

If one can use scientology words at will, and not use them at will

to talk to people,

why one is above the subject known as scientology,

one has freedom, or able to think freely, or to do or not do.

I guess it's similar to being able to speak in a different languages to different people. :confused2:
 

pkatz

Patron with Honors
When I began to feel empathy and an appropriate emotional response to others' troubles, I knew I was free.

Somewhere along the line I realized that my "No Sympathy" TR-4 sounded weird, even to me. So I began to pretend to care. Example: my response to "My dog just died" went from a poker-faced "OK" to "Oh, I'm sorry!".

Eventually, my ability to feel for others returned. I'm not sure but it probably took me a few years to go from acting like a human to being one.

(Also, I stopped looking for my overt every time something bad happens.) -pk
 
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Leland

Crusader
Someone once quoted an article (I think it was Emma) that stated that it takes about the same amount of time as you were "in" a cult to fully decompress from one. When I read that I cringed but immediately decided that I was only really "in" for about 6 years and for the rest (a looooong time) I was just pretending/acting due to the threat of the usual stresses of leaving, and that made me feel a bit better (lol).

:coolwink:

I also believe that if you lost people that you still care about when you left, you may not even start to really heal until those relationships are resolved and we all know that often they never will be ... so (speaking for myself only now) the best way to cope was to mentally stuff it all into a box, tie it with some ribbon and store it ... marked "to be opened rarely" because it's pretty pointless going round and round in circles trying to work out what happened ... I already know exactly what happened, scientology happened and it seriously screws things up and now I will need to live with the results, possibly forever.

Facing that was a major thing for me and helped enormously and funnily enough, it took about 6 years to arrive at that point.





:confused2:


I get your point, but hope it doesn't work out that way for me.....I was in (as public) for 27 years. OH....I've been out for 13! So only 14 more years to go? Crap!
 

TheSpectator

Patron with Honors
There's no tangible end to decompression and it's different for each person. Also, there are some things you never get over; things you'll always regret. Sorry, Scientology's promise of being free of trauma was false. But I think we can learn from regret and it can turn into wisdom.

Personally, I've been learning about and applying critical thinking. I'm hopeful that I'll be able to rid myself of my flawed thinking that got me involved with Scientology and kept me there for 35 years! Many of us who were involved in the 60s & 70s can say, "Oh, but it was a different group back then. Not crazy as it is now!" Yes, it was more fun to be involved in those days but Scientology was always a corrupt (for lack of a better word) subject. The problems with it now are the same as back then, just magnified.

Good luck to you and all of us with our Decompressions!
 
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