How I emerged into Scientology and how I leaved

I don't want to reveal now my real name. Not bercause I am too anxiousabout my own security but mabe about that of others.

I am -- better said was -- a teacher for primary school, that is for the beginners from 7 years old up to 11. It was a beautiful summerday, when I decided to bake breads with my class and bought lots of oat and all the things you need for a bread. My bag was heavy and I was realy tired. So I was happy to meet somebody who offered me a seat and a cup of tea.
Suddenly I had a huge test on my knees. Astonished, but curious than I am, I startet to fill it out. I had time and I enjoyed it to seat :eyeroll:
While a really smart boy checked my test, I looked around in the room, found the creed (?) of Scientology and got enthusiastic. Oh my God, this was what I was always searching for!
Sounds unbelievable, but so it was. I asked for a chance to be with this group; I had no interest in the result of my OCAgraph-test. But anyway, I got to sea it. Amazingly it was really good. Just the communication was slightly on the left side. No wonder, I was quarreling my sister (who was 18 years older tnah me and for me like a mother:D ).
This was my starting. I was very often in the mission, helped there where I could, with bodyrouting evaluating test... and found life really enjoyable an so happy? On weekends we drove with several cars to Munich for the Communication course. We were a cheerful group.

So it remained for a long while. I had some strange experiences, but I didn't pay much attention to it. Nevertheless I wondered about. What was not ok? Everybody was alwas very kind to me, everobody showed to be very happy... But I missed something!

The first strange observation was a few weeks after my starting in Munich:
One of the staffs in our mission went bodyrouting in Munich. She encountered a bravely drunken man, did assists until he became a little bit sober and dragged him into the org. She was really proud of her work.
But there they yelled at her and accused her for doing nonsense. I couldn't understand why, when they called it bodyrouting. and I asked too, pointing out, that they want always bodies, so, this is one too :D "But not such a litter" was the answer. :angry: (a few weeks later this litter became a rather good Scientologist :D ).

In October of the same year I decided to reserve my vacations for auditing. I really needed it had lot of grief as a refugee rrom Hungary and this audiging gave me lot of relief. Because I ha a car, I transported three cartons with filled out OCAgrpah-test. Somebody pretended, that all is a fraud, that there is no one test which is good. So I wanted to prove, that this is not true. I grabbed for my own test -- but it was vanished!
We never found my test!

On same weekend I encountered a staffgirl crying desperately. I asked her what happend and she told me, that she was very hungry, she hadn't any money to buy something to eat. I asked her to be more economical with the money, it can't just be, that she had nothing after three days. Then she told me, that her whole salary was just 4 DM for a week at average and that the week before she didn't get anything because she was downstat! I was horrified, bought her to eat and decided to observe. What in heaven was happening here. Why did we pay such amount for services, and the staff was almost starving to death?

I ran even to the ethic officer and protested, that this is not ok. I think, I don't need to tell you the answer I got. I even don't know it exactly today, but it was something like "Scientology needs amounts of money to combat the enemies and we all must make sacrifices" :angry:

Bad news ... but nevertheless I stayed there
 

dontscamme

Patron Meritorious
Thank you for the first part of your story, ladybeetle. As a short-term public member, I was not aware of the starvation level of staff wages until I started reading all these stories on the internet. It's truly criminal! :angry:
 
Second part of my story:

Well, I just didn't want to believe what I saw and heard. It can't be, that LRH is bad. No no, NO! He is a good fellow. It is the staff who is failing ... basta! I will stay, I am on the right side!

Somehow I even am happy with this decision. soon after this first shock I encountered my future husband in Munich. Why didn't I ever seen him at home? He lived in the same town than I. In my first holidays I wanted to stay in Munich. I was not eager to talk to my sister, Munich was rather far away from her :D But I didn't have any money, so a staffmember saved me, invited me to share the room, gave me from his own poor meals...
When it was time to turn home, I didn't know how, having an empty car and no more money for gas. So I was relieved, when the brother of this staffmember came to bring him back the car. This brother had now no car to drive home, but he had money! We were completed each other-- and are still doing it :)

So I had for several years the proof for the starving situation of staff. The staffmember and soon my brother-in-law could survive without slimming to bone, because we brought him regularly food from home! I can't imagine, how other staff did it. It was and remained for me a mystery.

When we married, I thought somebody was jealous of our wedding. We chosed my brother-in-law as witness to marriage. He got his leave of absence for it -- today I am really astonished about this. First they said, this is not ok, then I went for protesting to the ethic officer, and suddenly everything was ok -- but there remained some chicanery. To get this OK, they ordered my bridegroom to Munich-Org for the whole week before our wedding date. So I had to arrange everything alone, included reservation of the date, restaurant and and and. (I had to go to Munich the week before. So 2 important weeks were for nuts!)
I had an affirmation, that my bridegroom and his brother were allowed to come home the day before our wedding. Until midnight they were not arrived. They arrived just at 4' o clock in the morning. Our wedding date was on same day at 11! I rather could wake up the both! It turned out, that they tried to keep back my brother-in-law because he "managed" somehow to become downstat. So they were escaping there at midnight -- needless to say, that my brother-in-law had to carry the can for this afterwards?
It is just some months ago, when I heard that this and other things is and was a common chicanery for staff who want to marry.
BUT WE WERE EVEN NOT STAFF! And this behaviour was a howler for the org: It made me remain watchful for all that happend within the orgs.

I often observed, when staff had to work during the night, without sleep, but they always had an apology for it: Too much work, or weekly reports and so on. OK, I could understand this, but why then didn’t they go after the stress to sleep? And why did they vehemently refuse my help in such nights?

One more strange observation:
When my brother-in-law finished his 2 and half year contract and wanted to leave, it was almost not possible. My husband and I went there to help relocate him. It was already almost midnight, but r^there was still a lot to do. Finally toward half past midnight, my brother-in-law said, he had to go to the toilet. He flew out of the building and asked me to drive away quickly. Because he was far the better driver, we gave him the key. This turned out to be mistake. It was snowing like mad and my brother-in-law was totally upset … Bref. He touched an other car, that came suddenly backwards to the street. Our car had a huge damage. We couldn’t understand, that my brother-in-law didn’t care it so much. He was just happy, beeing escaped from the org. Some years later he told us, that they tried to convince him, to sign a new contract for 5 years. This was the reason, why they didn’t let him go!
I think, this was not a single incidence but rather the common method to wear the leaving staff down.

But once more again, we thought this just to be a failing of some staff, not of the system Scientology. And we continued !
 

Dark Phoenix

Patron Meritorious
Sounds like you were lucky to have a wedding at all, ladybeetle. Looking forward to hearing the rest.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Sounds like you were lucky to have a wedding at all, ladybeetle. Looking forward to hearing the rest.

:D

does it?

well I would have moved all my force anger and rage, if somebody would have succes in restrainig there brother-in-law and bridegroom.

I know, it's difficult. and my brother-in-law was e dedicated Scientologist. Maybee I succeded, because I didn't have any clue of the disconnecting order. So i didn't fear anithing and I found always something to point it out as "handling out-ethically" this was my weapon :D

We at least had a peaceful wedding. But there were others who really had to steal the time for it. And because they did so, they catched a thick declare! (I will tell here their story, when I will be allowed. I have to ask her first)
 
I think I know you

Hi ladybeetle !

You're the reason I post the first time here ! Could be we know each other. The story about this body router, I remember it. As I don't want to give any details or data out, but i think your husband is a little bit taller than you ?
Is that right ? If yes nice to hear from you after all those years ! my wife and me we talked a lot about you and your family ? Weren't you sometimes in the gässli ?
 
Hi ladybeetle !

You're the reason I post the first time here ! Could be we know each other. The story about this body router, I remember it. As I don't want to give any details or data out, but i think your husband is a little bit taller than you ?
Is that right ? If yes nice to hear from you after all those years ! my wife and me we talked a lot about you and your family ? Weren't you sometimes in the gässli ?

:) :) :)

Wow!

and I thought, nobody will ever find out my identity!
I cant imagine, who you are, but all you write here is true. Yes, my husband is a little bit very much taller than I and yes I was really often in the "gässli"

And who all are you knowing as "my family"? Just what I described here or our adopted kids, too? :)

But please, let my name unknown here, because I want to write more and anonymity is the only way to protect involved persons. But you can write me a PN. I would be very happy about a sign

Love ladybeetle
 
(Sorry, I forgot so many special Scientology terms, I hope I remain uderstandable for everybody. It is really a long time ago, I was in Scienti and I never used again this special language. So it is like with other languages too. It vanishes.)

So life went on for us. And I emphasise, it was OK for us! Life in and with Scientology was a fun. But it bothered me again and again to see, that staff had such a hard life. I pacified myself, thinking, they were choosing this life without any compulsion.

We both, my husband and I, climbed up the bridge. First time, when I dared to say, that Scientology was "preaching water and drinking wine" was on my grades in connection to a "serfac", when I sayed, the biggest and ugliest one is that of Scientology, beeing ok to cheat stubborn wog, laugh about them and to make stupid jokes! But in reverse of course this was an overt!
I thought: Wow, now they will drag you to ethic. But strange enough, nothing happened!

Once a public Scientologist managed to write a letter directly to LRH. Normally it was not himself who answered the letters but this one was obviously a direct answer, handwritten by LRH. This person was so happy and felt himself like he had won a six in lottery. But something seemed to be wrong to me: script and signature were those from an old week and very ill man. Shaky and unstable, like I knew it from person with heart desease or parkinson! But they always told us, LRH was healthy and strong. Who didn’t tell us the truth? This Scientologist didn’t realize, but I was very frightened. I thought, there must be a huge lie. Soon I found pictures from LRH in a magazine: an old shabby man, sitting near a bed! I showed it in the org, but there they calmed me, this photo was just a fraud to harm Scientology! And if this pictures are true: At moment LRH has a tremendous amount of work, he found new material to free the world, and and and. That’s why he doesn’t have the time for taking care of himself. OK, I believed. It was so much easier than to be critical.

Meanwhile LRH left his body, a new one sat on top, we all know him. I didn’t like his outfit but reprimanded myself not to be so stupid. Surely he is OK.

But suddenly we had lots of declares, one after the other of dear loved staff left or was no more on post, from one day to the other... I was wondering. All this highly ethical beeings, as I saw them, should be SPs ?

There was one couple, she was a good auditor, he was public. They married one day and suddenly we heared, that they got declared. We never saw them again for a long time. We had then an investigation in the org, there were some of this (I don’t know anymore how they were called) special entity, coming from Copenhagen. They interrogated everybody on E-Meter, asked us to write knowledge reports about the couple. Meanwhile I was OTIII and I refused to cooperate, emphasising, that she was always one of our best auditors and I don’t believe the lies about them. And they said, because I am OTIII, they can’t force me to sit on the E-Meter ( ??) Wow ! Was I now a special category ?

We had also one young mother there, she was the babysitter of the org. One day she had to go immediately to Copenhagen. They didn’t even let her time enough to find somebody for her baby-son. So I decided to take him home with me and I catched her post of babysitter too. This mother had really downstats. No wonder, she had just one small dirty room for up to 15 kids on best days. There were babies and scholars, the oldest one was 12. Fortunately it was almost always sunshine and warm weather and I could go on a walk with them or playing in the park. That’s why kids loved to visit me and I had always upstats.

During this time, I experienced the biggest shock of my time in Scientology:
There was the two years old son of a hightrained and audited Scientologist. I think, she was not on staff, but she was there very often, also as an auditor. She just stalled her son in the nurserey, which didn’t earn this name at all, and floated away. The poor boy was of course making a great fuss about, was sobbing all the time and from time to time he got very furious, started to destroy things and hurt the other kids. Soon, he had a declare!!!
Imagine that: a small two years old baby is catching an SP declare because he can’t confront to be separated from the mother all the time. Not always for some hours, no, sometimes even for the night. They put him into the babybed in this room, far away from mum, and there he had to stay there alone There was nobody near enough to hear him, when he was crying! He had great fears but the only thing her mum did, was telling him, that he was a big old intelligent thetan and that he should be brave and contribute his part to clearing the world! Poor little boy.
And his mother didn’t fight for him!
That is, I think she did something, because one beautiful day, the boy was no more an SP!

One public observed many outethical actions of this mother. I urged her to write a knowledge report, thinking, this will clear everything. The result: she was angry to me for several month, because it was she who got ethical handlings: It was not ok, literally spoken not allowed for a clear to write reports about so highly audited Scientologist than this lady was.

I was furious and boiling inside! :grouch: :angry: :grouch:
 
Sorry but I`m Shy

ok, so its really you. We asked ourselves a lot what your 2 sweet kids are doing in the meantime. Sorry, but I do not want to communicate further on
or get in touch. My whole family is still officially member, I say officially but in big disagreement with the craziness going on but as we have so many friends that are in , its somehow crazy. But I'll let my wife know I found you, you know her very well, perhaps she'll want tocommunicate. Are you in touch with other people from those times ? Quite funny ESMB is coming over in our country. Hello !!!!!! Some other people lurking, remembering Munich in the golden Days ?:happydance: :happydance:
 

DCAnon

Silver Meritorious Patron
I think we might need some sections of the board that are for foreign language speakers! German, Italian, French, Russian, Spanish... I think that if ESMB really catches on in these countries, it might be nice. I know WWP is working hard to include other languages on our site too and has a translation forum for people knowing more than one language to help.
 
I think we might need some sections of the board that are for foreign language speakers! German, Italian, French, Russian, Spanish... I think that if ESMB really catches on in these countries, it might be nice. I know WWP is working hard to include other languages on our site too and has a translation forum for people knowing more than one language to help.

on one side you are right. On the other side this would be separating the parts. I think somehow it is is more international this way.
 
ok, so its really you. We asked ourselves a lot what your 2 sweet kids are doing in the meantime. Sorry, but I do not want to communicate further on
or get in touch. My whole family is still officially member, I say officially but in big disagreement with the craziness going on but as we have so many friends that are in , its somehow crazy. But I'll let my wife know I found you, you know her very well, perhaps she'll want tocommunicate. Are you in touch with other people from those times ? Quite funny ESMB is coming over in our country. Hello !!!!!! Some other people lurking, remembering Munich in the golden Days ?:happydance: :happydance:

Oh, OK, I can accept this. But I regret. This is one of the reasons I stopped it. Yes you are right by leaving Scientology you have to leave back quite a lot of riends. Other friends are outside of Scientology. Separated fron each other.

I don't know any other church, disconnecting whole families and whole troops of friends in same way than Scientology does.

I find this so suppressing :bigcry:

Does Scientology distrust the ability of judgement of their members so much, that they must fear the outside?
 

DCAnon

Silver Meritorious Patron
On WWP, we have mainly English forums, but also a section for people to speak to their countrymen who may not be familiar with English too. :) Everyone is welcome to post anywhere and contribute all over the site, but it also allows people who don't speak English to have access too.

Our site: http://forums.whyweprotest.net/
Our International Discussion Forum: http://forums.whyweprotest.net/99-international-discussion/

It's just another option people can choose when posting, I certainly don't want you to stop being free to read and communicate anywhere you want! :happydance: I don't know if Emma would go for the idea, but I'll toss it out there.

P.S. If you're ever interested in joining the protests in your area, you can find your local guys here. http://forums.whyweprotest.net/222-deutsch/
 
On WWP, we have mainly English forums, but also a section for people to speak to their countrymen who may not be familiar with English too. :) Everyone is welcome to post anywhere and contribute all over the site, but it also allows people who don't speak English to have access too.

Our site: http://forums.whyweprotest.net/
Our International Discussion Forum: http://forums.whyweprotest.net/99-international-discussion/

It's just another option people can choose when posting, I certainly don't want you to stop being free to read and communicate anywhere you want! :happydance: I don't know if Emma would go for the idea, but I'll toss it out there.

P.S. If you're ever interested in joining the protests in your area, you can find your local guys here. http://forums.whyweprotest.net/222-deutsch/

That's fine, thank you for your tipps :happydance:

Once I found a translation of a thread out of this forum here. But I can't find it anymore :confused2:
 
A 2-year-old SP? Pure craziness!

yes, it is

and exactly this and the detection of many other crazy things made me leave the group.
I was no longer able to stand by a group acting as guardian of the members treating them in this way and dictating how they had to live their lives.
 

NeXTep

Patron with Honors
:) :) :)

Wow!

and I thought, nobody will ever find out my identity!
I cant imagine, who you are, but all you write here is true. Yes, my husband is a little bit very much taller than I and yes I was really often in the "gässli"

And who all are you knowing as "my family"? Just what I described here or our adopted kids, too? :)

But please, let my name unknown here, because I want to write more and anonymity is the only way to protect involved persons. But you can write me a PN. I would be very happy about a sign

Love ladybeetle

Hi LadyBeetle and loyalofficer88, I was in Munich org too. I was there from 1974 to 1982. We may have met, however I don't think I remeber any of you. I wasn't very much in touch with the public though. I was in the GO at that time. However my whole family was on public lines too, so it is likely you know any of them rather than me.
 

skollie

Silver Meritorious Patron
Imagine that: a small two years old baby is catching an SP declare because he can’t confront to be separated from the mother all the time. Not always for some hours, no, sometimes even for the night. They put him into the babybed in this room, far away from mum, and there he had to stay there alone There was nobody near enough to hear him, when he was crying! He had great fears but the only thing her mum did, was telling him, that he was a big old intelligent thetan and that he should be brave and contribute his part to clearing the world! Poor little boy.

Crazy and sick! This treatment of children breaks my heart and it's beyond me how they get away with it.
 
Hi LadyBeetle and loyalofficer88, I was in Munich org too. I was there from 1974 to 1982. We may have met, however I don't think I remeber any of you. I wasn't very much in touch with the public though. I was in the GO at that time. However my whole family was on public lines too, so it is likely you know any of them rather than me.

yes it is quite possible. I knew som of the GO but I don't think, I would be able today to tell some names. The contact was too shallow.

Are you still an active member, too like loyalofficer88?
 
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