How I emerged into Scientology and how I leaved

NeXTep

Patron with Honors
yes it is quite possible. I knew som of the GO but I don't think, I would be able today to tell some names. The contact was too shallow.

Are you still an active member, too like loyalofficer88?

Oh no I am not a loyal officer anymore. :)

I left in 1989 from the SO in EU, to never return again.
 
@loyalofficer88

bingo :)

there are not many Scientologist who know both kids!
Our daughter joined us, when we were already not on lines.

So there are just a handfull of those who knows her :coolwink:

Were you a neighbour of us?

If yes, I will try to leave you out of my story!
 
Facts !!!!!

Oh dear, I just read your above post after I answered. I've to put some stuff straight, that you are writing about. I made some calls in the meantime to some other people to refresh my memories. Pls. do not just spill your dirt over good people with your own prejudice about them . If your last post is the way that stories are written in ESMB, oh god !!!!! One thing I learned very well in scientology is to look at facts not opinions, by facts I mean also the truth ! Not what one thinks is. The nursery you're talking about was a beautiful institution until the Nanny, that was i/c was forced to go to copenhagen (clo), she had indeed a replacement for her to care about the kids, but the replacement became instantly the D/co and let the kids alone. In 2-3 weeks the whole nursery was destroyed and became a mess. But before the nanny left it was a beautiful thing, it was inspected and approved by the education departement of the city as being a standard nursery,the nanny which is an trained kids educator had even the authorisation to take young girls to an apprenticeship, which she did (non scientologist). This nursery was very much liked by the public, as there were only 2 staff kids and the rest were public kids (open only up to 18:00). Still today they say how Upstat and beautiful it was, also the kids ! This before it was utterly destroyed by a management that was gone utterly mad and the nanny sent (forced by threat) to the DPF and left her baby son with the replacement that became d/co and had no time for him til the mother came back. I checked with the nanny of this time, she didn't know you were looking after her son. You never told her anything about what you did there and what really happened while she was in Copenhagen. Why didn't you tell ?
And about this staff baby that had fits and was very destructive from time to time, i checked ,he never was declared a sp, his mother realised she was out-ethics, took responsibilty for her out-ethics, left staff and for years she just cared about her son, he is now a you intelligent, beautiful, in computer science trained adult. When the nanny came back from copenhagen she was in total shock as she saw how her nursery has been willfully destroyed. She instantly left staff and took care about her kids and never went back. The baby son you're talking about made his master at an elite university with an A
and lives a good life (without scientology). I really would like to arrange a meeting with those 2 mothers and you tell them your accusations. It's never late to communicate and healing can occur like jackson wanted. It's true that crazy staff occured and so on.... but please do only write stuff about you really know they are facts and the truth and be happy you never were on staff or have been sec checked or went through the dpf....I hope other people will pop up and tell their viewpoint. I can accept it as you viewpoint (opinion) but nevertheless take the right to give mine also !!!
Take care ! :confused2:
 
Hey nextstep

I propably know you ! I hated you guys all in the GO ! You were so secretive, spylike and so on.....and the GO Munich was getting into my road continously with nonsense and dangerous environment and bla bla...., still today I'm charged on you guys ! I had so many loses with you. Sorry nextstep, don't take it personally but it's my first time after 35 years i can express my feelings about you..................I was very young and had dreams and was sure that you were after me !!!!! I never healed from that ! Me young innoncent, idealistic young person was treated as a danger for scientology. How nuts one can get ! Lets talk and and ready the fists and have a good fight ! :eyeroll: :eyeroll: :eyeroll: :eyeroll:
 
Oh dear, I just read your above post after I answered. I've to put some stuff straight, that you are writing about. I made some calls in the meantime to some other people to refresh my memories. Pls. do not just spill your dirt over good people with your own prejudice about them . If your last post is the way that stories are written in ESMB, oh god !!!!! One thing I learned very well in scientology is to look at facts not opinions, by facts I mean also the truth ! Not what one thinks is. The nursery you're talking about was a beautiful institution until the Nanny, that was i/c was forced to go to copenhagen (clo), she had indeed a replacement for her to care about the kids, but the replacement became instantly the D/co and let the kids alone. In 2-3 weeks the whole nursery was destroyed and became a mess. But before the nanny left it was a beautiful thing, it was inspected and approved by the education departement of the city as being a standard nursery,the nanny which is an trained kids educator had even the authorisation to take young girls to an apprenticeship, which she did (non scientologist). This nursery was very much liked by the public, as there were only 2 staff kids and the rest were public kids (open only up to 18:00). Still today they say how Upstat and beautiful it was, also the kids ! This before it was utterly destroyed by a management that was gone utterly mad and the nanny sent (forced by threat) to the DPF and left her baby son with the replacement that became d/co and had no time for him til the mother came back. I checked with the nanny of this time, she didn't know you were looking after her son. You never told her anything about what you did there and what really happened while she was in Copenhagen. Why didn't you tell ?
And about this staff baby that had fits and was very destructive from time to time, i checked ,he never was declared a sp, his mother realised she was out-ethics, took responsibilty for her out-ethics, left staff and for years she just cared about her son, he is now a you intelligent, beautiful, in computer science trained adult. When the nanny came back from copenhagen she was in total shock as she saw how her nursery has been willfully destroyed. She instantly left staff and took care about her kids and never went back. The baby son you're talking about made his master at an elite university with an A
and lives a good life (without scientology). I really would like to arrange a meeting with those 2 mothers and you tell them your accusations. It's never late to communicate and healing can occur like jackson wanted. It's true that crazy staff occured and so on.... but please do only write stuff about you really know they are facts and the truth and be happy you never were on staff or have been sec checked or went through the dpf....I hope other people will pop up and tell their viewpoint. I can accept it as you viewpoint (opinion) but nevertheless take the right to give mine also !!!
Take care ! :confused2:

This was it!

she had indeed a replacement for her to care about the kids, but the replacement became instantly the D/co and let the kids alone. In 2-3 weeks the whole nursery was destroyed and became a mess. But before the nanny left it was a beautiful thing, it was inspected and approved by the education departement of the city

It was me, the replacement! And I did never distroy this nursery. All You are writing here is pure lie about what I did. But that's OK! It is the common known method to handle unconvenient critics!

The thing with the education departement of the city is a joke!
How can you pretend, that 0ne single room, 5 to 6 meters, with one toilet for two (staff kids, yes this is rue, indeed) plus up to 10 or 12 public kids(!) of students is a beautiful thing?

But OK. This is your truth.

But that I left the kids alone is totally ridicule!

When the nanny came back from copenhagen she was in total shock as she saw how her nursery has been willfully destroyed. She instantly left staff and took care about her kids and never went back.

first:
When she came back, we had still a good time together for a long while. She didn't leave staff at all!
second:
She had then just one kid. So how could she take care of her kids? (plural)

Either, we are not talking about the same nursery -- but what you are writing is too similar -- or what you are writing happened in another time.
but please do only write stuff about you really know they are facts and the truth

I didn't dream all that. It was my own experience!
 
I think I will continue here with my story. I promise you, I really write just about my life and what I saw personnally :)

Before I continue, I want to emphasize here one thing:
I was never accusing any staff and will never accuse anybody. Most part of staff are precious and very ethical people. They are believing in that what they are doing and want to give their best for mankind. Even staff realising the bugs within Scientology have often the urgent wish to salvage the situation. So they stay. I don't believe that each of them stays there, because he/she is blind (how I could here from different people).
I admire their force and courage. So I don't accuse here anybody, writing what I saw and experienced. I still have loved person on staff, not only out in the "wog"-world. And it hurts that now I have to ceep me aside and they too fear to have contact. (we are infected :D ).
I just want to show, that it was often remarkable for public, too, what happened!

My sister, not a Scientologist, left her body in this time period, when I was there in the org. My brother-in-law was totally despaired. He had lots of depts because the assurance didn't pay him the homecare for his wife, he had to take care for a daughter not yet adult. We helped him with filling his frigo regularly with food. As he had once the urgent wish to jump out of the window (he told this to me afterwards) he asked his doctor to give tranquilizers.

The Org was near of his appartement and one evening it occured that somebody bodyrouted him. He was filled up with valium then. This was no hindrance for the registrar to let him sign a contract for a few intensives and for the commcourse!

My brother-in-law phoned me the other day and asked me what to do. I couldn't understand, why he signed the contract and he said me, he didn't want to make difficulties for me, he heard there strange things about Scientology. I explained him, that this all are pure lies and went into the org to clear the facts. I claimed to cancel this contract, showing up that my brother-in-law was under drugs!

So far it's OK. But now I got an accuse, that I was hampering him to become happy, because for him auditing is the only way out of his grief. Nobody was interested in how to get the money for it and that he just could survive because we bought them food for about 300 franks each month and he had no chance to get credit having already debts of over 60'000 franks! :angry: They knew that, my brother-in-law told them. (and don't pretend now dear loyalofficer88 that he didn't, you just checked that :) )

There were several times attempts to get us sign a staff contract. The first one was just in our beginning times. I tell only this and another, which I found bitchy and perfidious.
The first was at this "gässli" in november or december 1974:D My husband (there friend) and I were led in separate rooms and and mauled separately for almost an hour. I on my side had not too much difficulties to resist: I had a contract as teacher and couldn't just leave my post. To be able to leave it, it is necessary to writze an application form to the education departement of the city. When everything is OK, you will get the allowance for the end of schoolyear (april 1975). When the registrar saw he had noch chance, he took a really perfidious way. For a while he left the room and then came back, pretended that my friend had signed the contract and that I will loose him, when I resist.
I was shocked and sad, thought that all is at end now, I lost him. I couldn't sign the contract because of above!
When I left the room, my future husband was not yet out, I had to wait for 20 long minutes. I didn't understand this. What in hell are they doing. He already signed the contract. What is there still to do?
When he came out, he looked sadly at me, went away without saying one word. A ran after him, asked why he didn't speak to me. So he asked me very sadly, why I had signed the contract and that now we will be separated. I was amazed! What? He didn't sign anything? They were telling him the same lie! :angry: :angry:

The second once was, when I was in England for OTI, alone. My husband had to work, didn't get free. First there was an attempt to get me on staff at SH. Then I had a good talk with a very nice lady, I'm not sure, I think hername was Margret (the first director of Greenfields schools?). She showed me the school. It was quite nice, but there were different heavy outpoints regarding arrangement and material for school. But I think this was because they were just starting -- as I know it today. Well, she wanted to have me there as teacher. Now I had two of them:
The registrar in SH treated me to sign either a contract for SH or the school and MArgret did the same. They tried to convince me, that the kids in SH ar more worth to have a good teacher, because they are future Scientologists helping clear the world.
And they tried to persuade me to leave my husband and let me divorce because he is hindering me on my bridge! :angry: :angry:

Then, I thought, this is just a frailty of theese two staff members. If LRH would know this...

Meanwhile I know, that it is not at all the fact. But it is a common method, too, get more staff.:duh:

And this IS the truth, I experienced it personally. And that it is more than just a bug? I bought once all the red volumes and all the green volumes (HCOBs Policy Letters etc.) I read quite a lot ...

And don't tell me dear loyalofficer88 that I just had MUs :D

This are my observations, you have yours and have the right to them
 

Opter

Silver Meritorious Patron
I think I will continue here with my story. I promise you, I really write just about my life and what I saw personnally :)

Before I continue, I want to emphasize here one thing:
I was never accusing any staff and will never accuse anybody. Most part of staff are precious and very ethical people. They are believing in that what they are doing and want to give their best for mankind. Even staff realising the bugs within Scientology have often the urgent wish to salvage the situation. So they stay. I don't believe that each of them stays there, because he/she is blind (how I could here from different people).
I admire their force and courage. So I don't accuse here anybody, writing what I saw and experienced. I still have loved person on staff, not only out in the "wog"-world. And it hurts that now I have to ceep me aside and they too fear to have contact. (we are infected :D ).
I just want to show, that it was often remarkable for public, too, what happened!

My sister, not a Scientologist, left her body in this time period, when I was there in the org. My brother-in-law was totally despaired. He had lots of depts because the assurance didn't pay him the homecare for his wife, he had to take care for a daughter not yet adult. We helped him with filling his frigo regularly with food. As he had once the urgent wish to jump out of the window (he told this to me afterwards) he asked his doctor to give tranquilizers.

The Org was near of his appartement and one evening it occured that somebody bodyrouted him. He was filled up with valium then. This was no hindrance for the registrar to let him sign a contract for a few intensives and for the commcourse!

My brother-in-law phoned me the other day and asked me what to do. I couldn't understand, why he signed the contract and he said me, he didn't want to make difficulties for me, he heard there strange things about Scientology. I explained him, that this all are pure lies and went into the org to clear the facts. I claimed to cancel this contract, showing up that my brother-in-law was under drugs!

So far it's OK. But now I got an accuse, that I was hampering him to become happy, because for him auditing is the only way out of his grief. Nobody was interested in how to get the money for it and that he just could survive because we bought them food for about 300 franks each month and he had no chance to get credit having already debts of over 60'000 franks! :angry: They knew that, my brother-in-law told them. (and don't pretend now dear loyalofficer88 that he didn't, you just checked that :) )

There were several times attempts to get us sign a staff contract. The first one was just in our beginning times. I tell only this and another, which I found bitchy and perfidious.
The first was at this "gässli" in november or december 1974:D My husband (there friend) and I were led in separate rooms and and mauled separately for almost an hour. I on my side had not too much difficulties to resist: I had a contract as teacher and couldn't just leave my post. To be able to leave it, it is necessary to writze an application form to the education departement of the city. When everything is OK, you will get the allowance for the end of schoolyear (april 1975). When the registrar saw he had noch chance, he took a really perfidious way. For a while he left the room and then came back, pretended that my friend had signed the contract and that I will loose him, when I resist.
I was shocked and sad, thought that all is at end now, I lost him. I couldn't sign the contract because of above!
When I left the room, my future husband was not yet out, I had to wait for 20 long minutes. I didn't understand this. What in hell are they doing. He already signed the contract. What is there still to do?
When he came out, he looked sadly at me, went away without saying one word. A ran after him, asked why he didn't speak to me. So he asked me very sadly, why I had signed the contract and that now we will be separated. I was amazed! What? He didn't sign anything? They were telling him the same lie! :angry: :angry:

The second once was, when I was in England for OTI, alone. My husband had to work, didn't get free. First there was an attempt to get me on staff at SH. Then I had a good talk with a very nice lady, I'm not sure, I think hername was Margret (the first director of Greenfields schools?). She showed me the school. It was quite nice, but there were different heavy outpoints regarding arrangement and material for school. But I think this was because they were just starting -- as I know it today. Well, she wanted to have me there as teacher. Now I had two of them:
The registrar in SH treated me to sign either a contract for SH or the school and MArgret did the same. They tried to convince me, that the kids in SH ar more worth to have a good teacher, because they are future Scientologists helping clear the world.
And they tried to persuade me to leave my husband and let me divorce because he is hindering me on my bridge! :angry: :angry:

Then, I thought, this is just a frailty of theese two staff members. If LRH would know this...

Meanwhile I know, that it is not at all the fact. But it is a common method, too, get more staff.:duh:

And this IS the truth, I experienced it personally. And that it is more than just a bug? I bought once all the red volumes and all the green volumes (HCOBs Policy Letters etc.) I read quite a lot ...

And don't tell me dear loyalofficer88 that I just had MUs :D

This are my observations, you have yours and have the right to them

I was told to leave my husband too if I wanted to continue with the cult.

Thank you for telling your own experiences.

Opter
 

Tiger Lily

Gold Meritorious Patron
Ladybeetle thank you so much for your story!

I can see value in a foriegn language section. . . but selfishly I am so glad that you are telling it in English so I can read it. And I love your "accent" :)

I was encouraged to leave my hubby and kids too.


By the way, good for you for sticking to your position and your integrity here. You are doing it well.

-TL
 
Here a small remark to the question of loyalofficer88 for the "golden years":

I asked myself, why you are calling this years goldn?
Well I think I found an answer, even I am not sure, we think on the same. For me, this belongs to the most beatiful times of my beginnings as Scientologist:

For sure there were never golden for staff:bigcry:

But as public, we really had then golden years. We were (almost) all young, enthusiastic and full of life and high spirits. We were a cheerful sworn-in group with common ideals.
It was fantastic to stay in the house of Dieter a very idealistic man and her wife too. There we had lots of deep going discussion. Most time -- indefferent whether day or night or yet after midnight -- he was attending us with tea and crackers.
For many of us it was like an "after hippie-Time" without drugs, like a dieing away of an era :coolwink:

When there was no more "home of Dieter", I don't know anymore why, but suddenly nobody wanted even mention his name and I found this really a pity, because Dieter was a highly intelligent and widely read person with a huge and multifaceted knowledge, and his wife was very warmhearted, there was a new shelter:
The flat and floor of Sunny ! There it was very unconfortable, it was just a shelter, not more. Some rooms had 4 bunkbeds and on the floor there were two rows of around 20 mattresses in each row. You had to climb into this floor, because it had only very low small door.
There it was noisy, cars roared through almost all the night, students were coming and going, nobody warned them to be silent -- as Dieter did --, there were never more constructive discussions. To cut a long story short:
The "golden years" vanished for ever :bigcry:
 

Ackerland

Patron with Honors
Hallo!

It was very interesting to read what you've got to tell about those times back then in Munich.

Still, you are talking about franks (swiss currency) and the "Gässli" which certainly sounds like a name from swiss?

I'd also like to know, ladybeetle and loyalofficer: do you still think the tech from LRH works?

and loyalofficer88: You do realize that 88 is a short-hand in nazi circles for "heil hitler"? I hope you did not mean it that way when using it in your name
 
Hallo!

It was very interesting to read what you've got to tell about those times back then in Munich.

Still, you are talking about franks (swiss currency) and the "Gässli" which certainly sounds like a name from swiss?

I'd also like to know, ladybeetle and loyalofficer: do you still think the tech from LRH works?

and loyalofficer88: You do realize that 88 is a short-hand in nazi circles for "heil hitler"? I hope you did not mean it that way when using it in your name

Did the tech work? Partially yes. But why, I will answer in an other thread, it is too long. Here so much: LHR gathered material out of other since longtime tested works. Can you imagine, how I was surprised, when my nephew show me the "Selfanalysis" material of psychiatry? The content was almost the same... What do you think? What was first? That of psychiatry or that of LRH? :D

Often Scientologists are using signs, without knowing the origin. Don't blame them for that. (By the way Hitler abused the swatika! I find this totally off the mark: for example Hindus are not allowed today to use their swatika due to Hitler :angry: )

But did you know that some TRs, at least the last one was used by SS to train giving commands to the prisoners? (I found this somewhere in the Internet)
I wonder where from LRH knew them :duh:
 

Ackerland

Patron with Honors
No, 88 stands for the letter 'h' in the alphabet and is used as a short-hand for "Heil Hitler" in some circles because uttering these words for anything other than documentational purposes in Germany is illegal.
 
Money

I was quarreling quite a lot with staff about money. Why the services were so expensive and why are they becoming progressively more and more expensive?
When it is true, that we have the way to total freedom: why then are we making the way to it unachievable to „normal“ middle class people?
We should make the bridge procurable to everybody !
« Oh no, impossible, what do you think », we would pull in lots of litter! I found, there were more no-litter out in the world, taking care of their environments and theri kids and this kids needed food, clothes and so on...
„Oh, this is your fear“ asked me once the lady who was then our EthicOfficer (I had good lins to her and discussed quite a lot). She told me, that I know very well: we were on the road to total freedom and we ALL had to bring sacrifice for it, even the kids. You can buy everything, when the job is done!
But They need shoos now, not in 20 years or so. And they need clothes now, because they can’t run around naked and also they need food, vitamins and medical care now, not when they already starved to death! And their parents have to pay taxes today!
We did’t understand each other. This lady showed me up, that these are just bodies, this kids can have new bodies in a new time in full freedom. I gave up.

Often we had not much money left and I had to be very careful with expenses. The private budget was my duty and so I had the best overwiev. I knew best, what we could afford. Once I was in Munich, first together, but soon I had to leave for starting new schoolyear and my husband remained there alone. There was a registrar, I realy liked her and often we joked and giggled. At that time the MarkVII was new and weh ad one together (we never had the chance to audit at same time, so one was enough). But there was a totally new one! Beautiful black. Oh, I really admired it, but this was enough form e.
Then my husband came home beaming like a candlelight: „I have a gift for you. You will get a black E-Meter. I gave to * a check“ „What, my dear!“ „Yes, * told me, you really liked it and you wuold appreciate it“ Oh, no, I don’t know anymore the exact price, but as I remeber it was even higher, than what we still needed to pay taxes in a few days! I saved it, there was no more money and * had now access to it!
I was desperated. What could I do! When my husband arrived at home, it was I think Thursday (the day of the weekly stats?) I hoped, * was not yet picking up our money, ran to our bank. Thanks God, she didn’t yet had it!
I let block this check, so it was lost for he org Munich. You can imagine, what I started with! There were several phones, I had even the EthicOff Munich on wire who menaced me with sequences beeing totally out-ethic what I did.
„ And what you are doing, putting your most loyal Scientologist at risk, is not out-Ethic“ I still remember as it were yesterday, I was yelling at him through wires. I was very very furious. When we couldn’t pay the tax immediateley – it was hightime for it—we had the risk of an enforcement! We had to lose quite a lot!
I Let him the chance to do something against me, but then I would write a knowledge report directly to FLAG! Then we will see, who is right ! I know, this is a strong thing I did, but how in other way could I save the situation?
*, should you read this, dont’t be angry to me. I know I made huge difficulties to you and it hurts me. I know, you had big downstats for that week and you had literally to face the music. But the enforcement would have been also bad for us. I had to save our situation in first place. Sorry *, I know you did it in desperation and because you tried to escape RPF!

Once Two really nice Staffs from SHUK were visiting us at home. We both loved them. They tried to persuade us, to pay more services. So far so good! But they mauled us for hours! When they arrived, it was early evening. When I had definitely enough, it was 2 past midnight! I asked them to leave imeddiately or I will shriek so loudly, that the whole house will appear very soon. (I forgot, that this hous was well isolated. Nobody wuold have heard my screams. But nevertheless, it worked. :)

By the way:
We payed the next levels, of course, we wanted to do them. But only a few weeks later, when we could afford it.

Our device was: Either we have the money for our requests or we leave it. We were awfully hard material for the registrars :D
 
No, 88 stands for the letter 'h' in the alphabet and is used as a short-hand for "Heil Hitler" in some circles because uttering these words for anything other than documentational purposes in Germany is illegal.

Ok :)

But dear Ackerland, although loyalofficer88 seams not to be my special friend, I think he used maybe "88" rather in remembering a special date for him in 1988. Well, I hope it was something like that :coolwink:
 
The end

I sticked to Scientology even though I could see something was wrong. I wondered muted and secretely but seldom loud. It was so easy not to ask unpleasant questions. My discussions with our EthicO – I really had a good line to her, we esteemed each other very much—did never answer anything! She always had a well smoothed explication, when I found strange things written by LRH. Of course, she had to do this but on the other hand she was also a thoroughly dedicated Scientologist.
From time to time she urged me to continue on the bridge. This was not my own wish, mainly because I loved the times between the levels. I loved to observe the changes and felt fooled when I advanced too fast: I couldn’t see the wins belonging exactly to the just finished level. Why should I be in such a hurry?
„When ,once, you are OTI, you should be greedy to advance. You owe it LRH!“
What? I owed it LRH? Not myself? I think, it me who want to attain total freedom. I’m doing it for myself and in my own space. And of course, I can help other to attain it too, but I will do this form y loved people – in first place. But I did never utter my thought aloud. :unsure:

Then I finished OTIII. Now she leaned on me: "You have to join now staff, as an OTIII you can’t afford to remain a public. " I was totally amazed. What, why that. She told me, that we are only able to attain our goals, when everybody is really ready to bring a sacrifice. "As an OTIII you know exactly what ethic is, and how you can help. There is no way to help out in the Wog-world." I refused her invitation! :D
Now she tried to appeal to my sense of honour (She was at that time OTI): "I think, I am even mor ethical than you, I know my ethic-level and I am really working for mankind "
Even this didn’t work on me. :D But I asked myself where all this efforts should end !
When LRH died, we were told he left the body because it was barrier to his further investigations.
My dear "she" urged me now of course to continue, again ! "You will see, you will be very happy. When you will be OTVII at the latest, you will understand, that your place is on staff. You will even not dare to stay out in the wogworld anymore, it ist such an outethic place." And:
"An OTVIII doesn’t even need a body for his actions. Oh that will be cool. I’m so exited about this, don’t you, too?" :confused2:
I couldn’t agree. I loved to live on earth. And I even loved it more than ever! And now there were rumours, that after OTVIII we had to do the next levels without body? That even LRH left his body, because it was hindering him? I couldn’t see even a particle of freedom on this OT-path!
No, no, no!!
Without me!:nervous: :no:
But before I knew this, I decided to advance up to OTV. Then I will see, what happens. So I did. My husband and I wanted to do it togehter and we went together with our little adoptiveson who just joined us a few months ago to AOSHUK.
All went fine, I attested OTV one day before my husband. Then, sitting alone in the house togehter with our sleeping son, I had suddenly a huge crash. I felt so alone, like a snail raped of his house, totally naked, left alone, deprived of all the data of life. And nobody gave me a substitute!
I got repairs. There were several and they worked fine. So I could leave AOSHUK happy and knowing what I had to do. :)
As one part of these repairs, I had to find THE SP!
Well I found some, but they all were not THE one who restrained me on my way to total freedom and I had no connection to them :confused2: . So I looked out for the correct one – and found HIM. Wow, I even had a floating TA!!. Nobody asked me to utter the person. That would have been a ramp! and an endless ethic handling for me of course. MY SP WAS DM :omg: . (Then LRH was till alive).
With the rest of my money, I still had on my account, I bought tapes and books, I marouded my account. Only my husband was wondering what in hell I did. All others thought I was just eager to learn everything LRH wrote and did. Of course, this was one thought although not eagerness to learn but investigations were my motivation. The second motivation :
I didn’t want to leave money because I knew, how difficult it was to leave Scientology and that is was almost impossible to get money back. I experienced this myself, I too was once sent out for fetching back two blown staff members. (without success. Today I feel relief, that I didn't succeed :) )

Fortunately my husband attested OTV, too on this day, and we left to go home. I told him, but I didn’t dare this until we were on the ship to Calais, what I found out during my repairs. I was trembling, I was not sure about the reaction of him. What will happen, when he can’t understand me? Will we extend the long list of the divorced Scientologists with disconnection order? As divorced couple we had to send our son back to the orphanage, too. I was sad, knowing this all could happen. But I also had to remain loyal to myself! Ron himself told us to split up with unethical groups. I could see, that Scientology was not at all giving total freedom but in reality has the goal to enslave the people! I was now sure, that enslavement and putting in dependency from Scientology church was the goal of the upper levels. Sure, DM was obviously an SP. But what's with LRH? He knew DM and didn't stop him, also it was Ron himself creating the levels, not DM, so... So I had to bring my sacrifice and to leave imediately! :bigcry:

My husband was shocked. But he found, that he always could trust my adjudgements. Quite possible, that I observed the truth. He promised to remain with me and to help me definitively find the thruth. We decided to sit for a while inactively on the backdoor fence and observe the scene. From time to time we emerged, so for example when LRH died (It was there where I was told, that an OTVIII does no more need a body :confused2: ), but we avoided each registrar and refused to do anything.


We started our four year long way out of Scientology toward true freedom.
:happydance: :happydance:
 

dontscamme

Patron Meritorious
Thanks for your story, ladybeetle. I am very glad that you and your husband both decided to step off The Bridge to Total Enslavement.
 

Blue Spirit

Silver Meritorious Patron
INTEGRITY

Ladybeetle,

Very well done on recognizing DM as the SP so early.

Your integrity is to be applauded. :clap:

I didn't, even though my suspicions were there all along ! :grouch:

This has almost cost me my life, to say nothing of lost millions.


Is a ladybettle what we call a "ladybug" in the US ?
 

MrNobody

Who needs merits?
<snip>
and loyalofficer88: You do realize that 88 is a short-hand in nazi circles for "heil hitler"? I hope you did not mean it that way when using it in your name

Hi Ackerland,

While it's correct what you are saying about "88", it's also an international greeting for amateur radio people (Amateurfunker), so perhaps you're "connecting the dots" too soon?

Jus' sayin'
:wink2:

Edit:
I don't want to derail this thread an further, but I read and reply to PMs :)

Oh, and a belated welcome to you, ladybeetle!

Edit2:
More German information at http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Achtundachtzig
 
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Tiger Lily

Gold Meritorious Patron
ladybeetle that was some story! I'm so impressed that you were able to maintain your integrity and stay off staff even with the manipulation, and that you were able to confront DM as your SP and tell your husband about it. And kudos to him for listening to you. That's very inspiring.

And I just love your accent!! :)

-TL
 
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