Jin, thank you for sharing your story.
On sleeping, taking L-Tryptophan (available in the US at Vitamin Shoppe) will help you sleep and may help ease depression. It's not a drug, it's an amino acid, and needed to make serotonin.
You may also need to supplement Vitamin D, most people seem to. Getting the other vitamins and iron into range will also help.
Then I would guess that your depression/lonelyness has nothing to do with past involvement with Scientology. You just thought that Scientology could help you and it didn't. This is nothing new.
Depending on what you feel depressed about... some psychologists might be able to help.
this makes sense. I feel exactly like theyve told me i would feel.
I do feel a sense of more freedom, just dont really know what to do with it. ive been in scientology since i was a teen, so i kind of lost a lot of important years of studying and so on. Im smart. i could have had an education by now. I can still get it though i guess. Its just that i feel lonely cause i lost so many friends. but you replies on here made me cry. It was in a nice way. Felt like someone noticed me.
I dont have any friends hardly, not really. Not close. because all my youth was spent in scientology, and my friends are still there. And 14 years have passed now and i feel ive lost a lot of time.
but thankyou for replying. Im so greatful for anyone that have replied to me.