Boy, I'd say this is one of those <is the glass half empty or half full?> questions / answers.
I would say that I treat(ed) not only my children and my grandchildren, but my dogs and my horses and cats like gods, who can do amazing things.
My wife and I were involved with Scientology when we got together. Her oldest was a Class Vlll at age 16. Our youngest did co auditing at Alan Walter's center in Dallas at age 15.
We always gave our children and now our grandchildren lots of freedom to fully push their own envelopes. In no particular order:
When one of our boys was 12, I took him up a 2,500 foot climb in Yosemite (the Two Sisters).
When his son was six, I was taking our grandson (my son's son) off cornices on Black Diamond Advanced ski slopes.
One year my daughter, a granddaughter about 5 years old, and I were snowed in for a week. We three spent every day of that week on the slopes from opening of the lifts to closing in 60 mile an hour wind and snow..... And we didn't do bunny slopes.
When my daughter was two, my wife and I taught her to ski. As a teen or an adult she is fearless and skis with all her male friends back country expert terrain.
Around 1982, the oldest and the youngest, both got involved with acting. They both got SAG and AFTRA cards, and worked steadily from the get go. The youngest was four. She was expected, as a working actor, to have adult responsibilities. Production companies don't pay kids to have "kid" mentalities. Both have done very well for themselves.
When one of our boys was 13, he worked out how he could use an Amtrak excursion ticket (45 days, no commuting for $600.) to travel 29,000 miles by rail. He did this on all by himself. As he traveled, he wrote articles for our local newspaper. The articles did so well, he was hired by the paper, when he returned to work there daily for the next couple of years. In his travels, he got to meet Graham Clayter (spelling?), the head of Amtrak in Washington, D.C.
My daughter at 15 or 16, rode in the Tevis aka The Western States Trail Ride, the toughest equine endurance race on the planet. It runs from Squaw Valley across the Sierra Nevada Mountains to Auburn, CA. in 24 hours or less. It's 100 miles. . Riders cross through snow, rivers, 100 degree heat, and the dark of night. The race starts at 5 AM with about 250 riders. It ends the next day (in the middle of the night) with about 125 riders. Our daughter came in first in the teen category and 64th overall.
Our kids, with me, have scuba dived, rock climbed, skied, ridden horses, and generally been treated as adults with younger bodies. I don't think it has caused them ANY harm whatsoever.
Our youngest daughter was 12, when she first went with us to China. After college, she was running biz dev (business development) for the largest law firm in Shanghai. The only blonde blue eyed employee on the staff of 300 lawyers, and she was paid better than many.
One of our boys barely made it out of high school, but makes a comfortable six figure income at ebay as an alpha geek.
When our youngest daughter was in 6th grade, I used to play Go with her daily. One day, a friend, who worked with S. Jobs (at that time) at company called Apple sat down with her to play Go. He thought he'd be playing a child. Quickly he became aware that he was in for a real match. In the end, she beat him. He told everybody about that for months.
Another boy has an MA in forensic accounting and does alright.
The girls are fairly successful. One has a masters from Stanford, and works internationally. The other runs her own production company.
I think, especially in these treacherous times, that it is imperative for every sentient parent to raise alpha children. - Kids that have resources and back bone. an independent streak.
and I carry that philosophy down to dog too. He's a pug. He weighs about 18.5 pounds. I've dumped him, accidentally, into the Monterey Bay at 10 O'clock at night, from my kayak, and he's beat me back in to shore.
I've seen what happened when he got attacked by a Rottweiler from out of nowhere -- the Rottweiler lay on the sidewalk with my dog holding the Rottweiler's neck in his jaws.
Raising alpha children or dogs or horses or cats is a good thing. Expect great things, and that is what you get.
On the other hand, expect compliance, and that is also, what you get.
I vote for tough.