Humiliating

[Boojuum]

Sometimes I wonder why many of us are so angry at LRH or the CofS or DM.

Yeah, I know about the lost years, lost money and the feeling of being tricked and robbed. I'm thinking that the piece that really sticks in our craw, I mean the "rat in the throat" is the fact that we were all somehow humiliated by the church and we can't seem to let that go.

Humiliation is a nasty dish to eat. RPF's, liability formulae, amends, retrains, Comm Evs, BofR's, being named as a WHO or a WHY, being accused of being a DB or a List 1 R/Ser or an SP or no case gain (where does a mind generate these labels?)--if we agree with the label, I think we really, really diminish our power as an individual. If we leave the CoS, part of our recovery is to fight back at those who humiliated.

The CoS elevated humiliation to a rite and now is reaping the rewards--a vengeful public, not only upset but actively vengeful.

Big mistake.

 

[byte301]

I think a lot of us got past vengeful some time ago.

I neither need or want revenge. That's something that is fleeting and usually passes quickly after someone has been wronged.

I feel that the majority of us want to see the abuses stopped. Period. Some of us who were fair gamed or treated particularly bad want some answers but I don't see anyone wanting or asking for revenge.

I think you have justice and revenge mixed up.

I want justice and I don't find that humiliating in any way.

 

[Emma]

Very thought provoking post.

Nothing burns like humiliation.

 

[Kathy (ImOut)]

What I discovered in counseling is that what gets me is the Shame (a regrettable or unfortunate situation or action) of having become a Scn in the first place and then continuing with it for 19 years. But, when I look at why I became a Scn, I look at how messed up I was emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc. I did NOT make the decision to become a Scn with all my faculties.

This is why I have the signature line that I have.
Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the bullshit, take chances, & never have regrets, because at one point, everything you did was exactly what you wanted.

Yes, I somehow wanted Scn. It worked for me for a while and then it didn't. And that's how I viewed Scn. As long as it was working for me, then I stayed with it (granted I took 10 years off during the 19 years) and I stopped when it stopped working (just a bit over a year after the 10 year break, I realized it wasn't working for me anymore).

 

[Dulloldfart]

If one is personally involved in or hears about some abusive situation in present time, an emotional reaction associated with their perception of that situation is not out of place.

But if the emotional reaction never goes away — in other words it is being continuously generated — that is something else. Call it bypassed charge, or case, or baggage, or whatever you like, but hanging on to it is not optimum at all.

Saying things like "time to move on", "get over it", "harden the fuck up" and so forth sometimes help the person, but often are simply perceived as insensitive. Especially the last one.

There are various techs involved with getting rid of the baggage. For a couple of months now I've been getting familiar with some of the "regular" ones, nothing to do with Scn or derivatives, but the bog-standard counselling methods sanctioned by the American Counseling Association or the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. In general terms, they all address the same stuff, and some help better than others.

No-one needs to carry a heavy burden of upsets from decades ago. It can be reduced or maybe even eliminated if you are willing to work at it.

Paul