I am simply... a threat.

I got "involved" in Scientology though my ex-fianceé.

I never called myself a Scientologist, though I had a few services and gave them a few hundred dollars in the process.

Scientology, nevertheless, played a huge roll in my life for a few years. I have also had several jobs working for Scientologists (so as to get me dependent on them and as a way of getting me closer and closer until I eventually joined officially.) Working for these people made me feel a closer connection and understanding of the church. I also knew some absolutely wonderful people in the church, as well as, obviously, the person I was in love with.

In the end my ex disconnected from me ("oddly" enough, this was about one week after deciding he would route off of staff at the end of his contract to be with me). I was simply too big of a threat to the church. (I cannot tell you how many times I made my ex question his beliefs/Scientology. It was never intentional, it just happened.) I was very open-minded, stressed the importance of seeing two sides in every story, and had a few problems with the money that was involved in Scientology. I suppose the final straw was me letting it out that I was solid in my decision to never officially become a Scientologist. The church never contacted me again.. even though there were services I was receiving that had never been completed. I still get junk mail, however.

My ex was also on staff. For around a year, I watched it destroy him, yet I let myself be blind to everything. I ignored all of my instincts and pretended that I could learn to accept the church. Pretended his situation would get better with time. But it didn't. And it didn't matter if I accepted them; they couldn't accept me. It's just as well though. I suppose it's better for me not to be trapped by it anymore (because despite how little I was involved, it still had a hold on me). But I saw and learned things that seem like they could only happen in movies. I was hardly in it at all, and I still saw, firsthand, people getting destroyed. Scientology is very real to me.. and very unreal. It's something that you can't really believe is happening, despite what your own eyes have shown you.

My main concern is how I watched the stongest, most confident and able spirit I have ever known (if he told me he could do the impossible, I would've believed him) get destroyed and confused (indecisive and unable to do anything he set out to do.. also, he was miserable, confused, etc) by getting closer and closer to the Church (ie joining staff).. I suppose I could say I wouldn't care about Scientology, but it played a huge role in my life, whether I am willing to admit it or not, so why not admit it? I can't deny what's real anymore.

Also, I would like to add that many of the ideas in the church are very interesting and acceptable to me as far as beliefs, but I believe that the methods of teaching them incorporate underlying themes of suggestion that are still dangerous whether you consider upper management or not because they put subliminal messages into your mind (ie slightly altered LRH dictionary definitions; teaching people to be dependent on certain things, etc). However, I agree with some of their ideas and theories and think they make a lot of sense, but most of these are things I believed before ever hearing of Scientology.
 

Miss Pert

Silver Meritorious Patron
:welcome: ID, sorry you lost your fiance but well done for not getting totally sucked in by the cult.
 
You sound like the perfect girl friend --- smart and independent

he's a dummy to let you go.

Thanks, lol :p

I am not all that sure that he wanted to though. I may be wrong, but I got to be good at understanding him and when things bothered him and, for the most part, when he was being sincere.

I am fairly certain that he did this because it was the "right thing to do," and not that he wanted to at all. I think this happened because he was becoming more dedicated to me which was a threat to the church, so they had to handle that before he started choosing me over them.





Miss Pert, thank you :)
 

Mest Lover

Not Sea Org Qualified
However, I agree with some of their ideas and theories and think they make a lot of sense, but most of these are things I believed before ever hearing of Scientology.

:welcome:

That is because they wrap their crap sandwich with a common sense pita pocket to get you to eat it without questioning what you can't see yet, and they force you to gulp it down before you realize how sick you will get from it.
 
:welcome:

That is because they wrap their crap sandwich with a common sense pita pocket to get you to eat it without questioning what you can't see yet, and they force you to gulp it down before you realize how sick you will get from it.

And luckily, I realized this, well, I realized this in part, at the very beginning.
If I may quote myself from another post (a journal entry I wrote immediately after being introduced to Scientology):

"...The other part [of me] hates that it is so intriguing and appealing because I don't want to join them or anything because it seems like conning you out of your money to make you have realizations that you and life itself can give you on your own. That is only because I know that I can do it on my own in time, and though I know they're just trying to help, a lack of patience on my own part would literally cost me."

And luckily, I don't eat anything if I don't know what it is. I'll probably try it once I know what it is but not before. :p

Good thing I didn't swallow the crap sandwich :thumbsup:
 

Sir Facer

Patron with Honors
welcome & tku :)

I got "involved" in Scientology though my ex-fianceé.

Hi there,:coolwink:

Welcome & thankyou so much for your posting. I must say you are very brave & I really get from this post you are also very sensible, to be able to see both sides, as this has saved you from much cult indoctrination.

I do hope your ex also one day sees the light and realises the one that got a way actually new what she was saying and what she saw:omg:.

I always go with my instincts now & they get stronger every day I keep away from Scientology. Do well & thanks again for your post.
 

AngeloV

Gold Meritorious Patron
First, welcome to the board!! :thumbsup:

You have made the right choice to not become a scientologist, but it sounds like you were very close to doing that. I'm sorry to hear that your ex fell for the bait and had some bad experiences in the cult. Hopefully he will use this experience to have a better life.

Stay away from the cult even if though you think some of the info is 'interesting and acceptable'. It is this type of thinking that got me in for three years. Don't do it.

Peace.
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation
Originally posted by InitiateDoubt

I am fairly certain that he did this because it was the "right thing to do," and not that he wanted to at all. I think this happened because he was becoming more dedicated to me which was a threat to the church, so they had to handle that before he started choosing me over them.

Welcome InitiateDoubt,

I am so sorry to hear your story ... you clearly have excellent instincts and yes, he would have been ruthlessly 'handled' to get rid of you ... that is what they do.

He must be a fool to have chosen scientology instead of you, but he would have been put under considerable duress.

I hope you find (or have found) real and true love ...



:heartflower:
 

Type4_PTS

Diamond Invictus SP
Hi ID,
Sorry about the loss of your fiancee, but glad you didn't get sucked into the cult. I did ten years myself and looking back wish I never heard of scientology. When you say you are a "threat" you probably hit it right on the nail. The CoS publicly states that they encourage relationships between scientologists and non-scientologists but they frequently do the complete opposite. Here is what they tell the media:


"How does the Church view relationships between Scientologists and family members who are not Scientologists?


The Church encourages and helps its members to have excellent family relationships, whether their relatives are Scientologists or not. In fact, relationships between a Scientologist and the rest of his family routinely improve after his involvement in Scientology, because through Scientology one acquires the means to increase communication and resolve any problems that might have existed before."http://www.scientologytoday.org/Common/question/pg29.htm
That paragraph is complete and utter BS. I'm sure that many on this board could give personal examples that attest to that fact.

While I am sorry for your loss, am also glad that you arrived here at ESMB! :happydance:

:welcome:
 

GreyWolf

Gold Meritorious Patron
Welcome ID,

So glad to see you here and happy :happydance: that you avoided falling off the cliff. I am sorry about your ex. Maybe someday he will see the light also.

Love and Respect

Bob
 

MrNobody

Who needs merits?
First, welcome to the board!! :thumbsup:

You have made the right choice to not become a scientologist, but it sounds like you were very close to doing that. I'm sorry to hear that your ex fell for the bait and had some bad experiences in the cult. Hopefully he will use this experience to have a better life.

Stay away from the cult even if though you think some of the info is 'interesting and acceptable'. It is this type of thinking that got me in for three years. Don't do it.

Peace.

This advice is a good one. Stay away from the cult, no matter how appealing they may look.

Oh, and :welcome: to the board, ID.

FYI: I've never been "in", and the information available on boards as this one make sure I never will.
 

Free2Dream

Patron with Honors
Wonderful first post, ID!

Welcome to the ESMB and good on you for not swallowing the shit sandwich! It's sad that it cost you the relationship with your fiance. So many of us have similar stories, so you'll find lots of support here.
 

Mest Lover

Not Sea Org Qualified
Wonderful first post, ID!

Welcome to the ESMB and good on you for not swallowing the shit sandwich! It's sad that it cost you the relationship with your fiance. So many of us have similar stories, so you'll find lots of support here.

That has me wondering if any relationships survive the SCN crapshoot.
 

Boojuum

Silver Meritorious Patron
There's the rub

ID

I like this observation very much:

My main concern is how I watched the stongest, most confident and able spirit I have ever known (if he told me he could do the impossible, I would've believed him) get destroyed and confused (indecisive and unable to do anything he set out to do.. also, he was miserable, confused, etc) by getting closer and closer to the Church (ie joining staff)..

This is the problem.

For all cos' focus on gained abilities, conquering life and negative emotion and having full control over the "reactive mind", you gotta look at the results. Not the 5 minutes after an auditing session results but the next week or next month or next year results. The life of a full time staff member takes a tremendous toll on one's sense of optimism. Additionally, if you're over 25, the physical toll is huge.

Why? Because you typically are asked to do the impossible and degraded if you fail. ? Over and over again.

My conclusion was that it was my fault. Over and over again.

Durn engrams.

Glad that phase of my life is over. I've worked for some pretty rough and nasty people but the emotional humiliation I experienced and witnessed on cos staff surpassed anything I saw in wogdom.
 

Mystic

Crusader
Welcome to ESMB, ID.

From reading your original post it's pretty obvious you have a pretty good grasp of yourself. Man o man, would the scifaggOTs ever like to get ahold of you and mess you up...luckily you're beyond them. All they can do is point their little fingers and say "She bad bad."
 
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