I decided to re-write my story

thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
Hi, I posted my story here about a year ago an upset a lot of people. So I decided re-write my experience in scn, and make it not case-related story but just a story.
I was born in Russia in 1978.My mother's parents were muslims,my father's parents were ortodox christians and my parents never went to any church. All my friends were in different cults and since I was a kid I was looking for some group I can be part of. In 1995 I read Dianetics book (I will skip her all the case -related cognitions that I posted here before) and I went to dianetics seminar and joined the mission stuff the same week. My first post was testing officer,then book store officer, then lots of people blew the mission and there was just a bookeeper, a cource sup,an auditor and ED/ mission holder.I had to wear lots of hats for about a year. Then an auditor an supervisor blew and I had to wear their hats even tough I was not fully hatted. I was not making any money at all. I quited college and began working as ful time stuff. I left my parents house and was living at my auditor's place and hopping from one job to another.Then I wanted to go to Moskow and got trained as supervisor, I got a part time job and in a few month I had some money to go to OTL for my cource sup training. I went to OTL in Moskow before, for my book store officer traning and to do some cources but at that time it was just an org. Then a couple OTs from US came and made it to OTL :whistling:
Anyway, my first cource was UPs and Downs. I finished that cource in 1 day. The next cource was PVI. I finished it in 2 days and then I got in lots of troubles because I could not write up o/ws . I remembered lots of past live o/ws (again,I'll skip this part) and I did not have EP for about a month. I was living at motel and every day I had to go to ethics and write o/ws untill I ran out of money and could not afford a motel. I was staying for a few days with friends and strangers then I called my parents and asked them for money. They send me money and I went to live in the dorms were lots of scn public lived.
But their money did not last long. I got a part time job and also started FSMing a lot. Not just for OTL,but for several orgs. I made over $1000 as FSM in a few month.I still was on ethics and was not allowed to take any cources ,so all day long I was giving out flyers and doing bodyrounding and selling books. At night I would climb out out the window with my friends and just hang around, have fun all night long. I still miss good old times.
Then a recruiter from SO came to Moskow and recruited some of my friends. He also recruited me but I said ,I'm still onethics and I won't be able to go. He sent me to do e-meter check and I made my needle float. I signed a contract and was allowed to do some cources. All the money I made I spend on courses. And when i was done, I was ready to go to Clearwater. The only problem was- I had no money. I called my mom and told her I'm going to Flag,and she got mad. "Why ddo you have to go to Flag, let's somebody else raise the Flag! You dropp out of every college we put you in and now I have to pay for you to go to America, raise a flag and come back!"
We talked about it for a couple of days and finaly she sent me $1000 for a ticket. The church would not let me take off the money from my account, so I transfered those money to pay freeloader debts to the mission. I also bought 500 dianetics boks with this money and sold them for cash to my friend.
I got R-1 visa ad was about to buy a plane ticket but when i reached for my wallet,I realized it was missing.:omg:
(will continue later. have to go get my kids now)
 
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thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
I finally found the money and went to Clearwater. Then i found out that there was only 4 people from Russia including myself.I was able to understand english but some people did not. There was no translated materials in Russian (exept EPF courses ) and once you finished EPF we had to study in English.
Thre was a few peole who was able to translate tests but after they left I had to myself translate the tests of people who did not speak english at all. Every month more and more people from Russia were comming and finaly we were allowed to take English classes before continue our courses. There was a dude , Vadim Dolgov there ( he is on ESMB now) for a few month he was at Flag and he helped us all alot,doing M7. Very cool guy.
My english was getting better and better and I was trying to study as fast as i could. I did product 1,produc 2 in English
 
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thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
the worst part,we weren't allowed to speak Russian at all because people were getting MUs and one time I got in troubles for talking to a friend of mine in Russian infront of a little girl who was looking for the reason to show of her power. i was going to tell her what I think of her and her m.u phenomena,but I decided not to.She was very mad already.
(continue later)
 

AnonKat

Crusader
I am sure your first time story was fine,:)

Hi, I posted my story here about a year ago an upset a lot of people. So I decided re-write my experience in scn, and make it not case-related story but just a story.
I was born in Russia in 1978.My mother parents were muslims,my fathe's parents were ortodox christians and my parents never went to any church. All my friends were in different cults and since I was a kid I was looking for some group I can be part of. In 1995 I read Dianetics book (I will skip her all the case -related cognitions that I posted here before) and I went to dianetics seminar and joined the mission stuff the same week. My first post was testing officer,then book store officer, then lots of people blew the mission and there was just a bookeeper, a cource sup,an auditor and ED/ mission holder.I had to wear lots of hats for about a year. Then an auditor an supervisor blew and I had to wear their hats even tough I was not fully hatted. I was not making any money at all. I quited college and began working as ful time stuff. I left my parents house and was living at my auditor's place and hopping from one job to another.Then I wanted to go to Moskow and got trained as supervisor, I got a part time job and in a few month I had some money to go to OTL for my cource sup training. I went to OTL in Moskow before, for my book store officer traning and to do some cources but at that time it was just an org. Then a couple OTs from US came and made it to OTL :whistling:
Anyway, my first cource was UPs and Downs. I finished that cource in 1 day. The next cource was PVI. I finished it in 2 days and then I got in lots of troubles because I could not write up o/ws . I remembered lots of past live o/ws (again,I'll skip this part) and I did not have EP for about a month. I was living at motel and every day I had to go to ethics and write o/ws untill I ran out of money and could not afford a motel. I was staying for a few days with friends and strangers then I called my parents and asked them for money. They send me money and I went to live in the dorms were lots of scn public lived.
But their money did not last long. I got a part time job and also started FSMing a lot. Not just for OTL,but for several orgs. I made over $1000 as FSM in a few month.I still was on ethics and was not allowed to take any cources ,so all day long I was giving out flyers and doing bodyrounding and selling books. At night I would climb out out the window with my friends and just hang around, have fun all night long. I still miss good old times.
Then a recruiter from SO came to Moskow and recruited some of my friends. He also recruited me but I said ,I'm still onethics and I won't be able to go. He sent me to do e-meter check and I made my needle float. I signed a contract and was allowed to do some cources. All the money I made I spend on courses. And when i was done, I was ready to go to Clearwater. The only problem was- I had no money. I called my mom and told her I'm going to Flag,and she got mad. "Why ddo you have to go to Flag, let's somebody else raise the Flag! You dropp out of every college we put you in and now I have to pay for you to go to America, raise a flag and come back!"
We talked about it for a couple of days and finaly she sent me $1000 for a ticket. The church would not let me take off the money from my account, so I transfered those money to pay freeloader debts to the mission. I also bought 500 dianetics boks with this money and sold them for cash to my friend.
I got R-1 visa ad was about to buy a plane ticket but when i riched for my wallet,I realized it was missing.:omg:
(will continue later. have to go get my kids now)
 

thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
Tanks,but my first story was too case related and crazy, that's why i'm re-writing it.
Anyway, there was anoter girl I was having PTSness from even thought she did not do anything to me.She was very nice.
I went to do PTS handling about that and RPEC (past life related) and felt much better. But while i was doing PTS handlig I told to my auditor something i should not have. Then I was writing o/w for a couple of days and I wrote a few past life overts ,then a I freaked out and escaped from HCO. I leaped over several steps, got out of CB and 3 MAAs chaced me down the street. I was so emarresed when they caught me and took me back.
After that chief MAA mved in with me and started following me everywhere. I wanted to go to the store to buy something and I was not allowed to do it.
I had a feeling that something bad is about to happen. Then I was told I had to sign papers that I won't sue them.
I did not want to leave and I asked to be sent on RPF instead.
But then I called my mom and she toldme that my grandpa died and my grandma is very sick and she was trying to reach me and wrote and called but could not.
Then I thought I should leave.
I was totaly out of present time. I don't know what I was doing. I remember I&R took me to took airport and HAS paid for my ticket and chief MAA gave me $20 for a taxi.I remember nothing after that.
When I arived to my parents I slept for 3 days and woke up just once to eat.
(will continue)
 
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thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
Thanks. Where was I .
Oh,yeah.. I woke up a few days later and called to MAA to see what's going on .
I was told I should wait for my re-entry program. I waited and waited. While I was waiting, I was FSM ing and helping out some orgs and local mission for about a month, then my grandma died and I decided to go back in US and wait for my re-entry program there. I knew it will be expencive and working in Russia ,making about $50 a month there was no way I could pay for it.
So, I went back to US using money grandma gave me .
I found a job that did not asked for a visa of greencard and moved in in appartment with 5 wogs. I could not pay for my own room, so I rented a walkin closet and about 90 % of money I was making I was using to pay off my freeloader debts.
A Qual sec was keep writing me saying my fithness board program is not ready yet and i can not startmy re-entry program untill that cycle is done. It took for them about 6 month to finaly send me my re-entry program.
Bu the time I got all my debt payed off I found myself pergnant and i had to make a dessision,to keep a baby and say good bye to sea org or continue my program.
Will continue
 
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Zinjifar

Silver Meritorious Sponsor
Actually I think it was a mistake to change the editing function to allow editing after 24 hours. 'New Improved' stories are best compared to the originals.

Zinj
 

thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
Oh,well. i didn't have to edit it, I was just trying to get rid of "case stuff" from my earlier version.You don't have to read it. :no:
I'm not making anybody to read this one.
 

thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
Anyway, the father of my baby already had 3 kids from previous marriage and before i knew i was pregnant, I was hoping he will join the Sea org with his kids. I took him and the kids to Clearwater and let himto speak to SO reicruiter and make a plan, because his youngest daughter was only 6.
I went to clearwater several times and my friends would not even talk to me. They was talking to my boyfriend but not to me.. I went to visit some of friends and they told me they won't talk to me untill I pay off all my freeloaders debts and do the lower conditions.
Then i got mad and made a decission to have kids and not to go back. But as soon as my boyfriend found out i was pregnant he began to deny the baby and I moved out from his appartment and became homeless. i still was not sure what i was going to do. I was all by myself and i knew if i call my parents, would hear "we told you so " and that's the last thing wanted to hear.

will continue.
 
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thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
I moved to NY then moved to NH and lived with my boyfriend's mother for a few month but then my boyfriends girlfriend called and told her that my baby is not her son's and we had a big ARC break. I moved back in Florida, and stayed with my friends and then went to women residentional shelter,then to salvation army shelter and then colition for the homeless. They helped me to get medicad at the end of my pregnacy (I did not have any prenatal care untill then ) and when its was a time to have a baby, the hospital stuff told me that my medicaid won't cover the birth because church of scientology should be responsible for the bill.
I explained them that I left cof s but they wanted to know why I left and if I intend to come back and at that time I did not want to ruin their PR ,so I did not say anything. (and got stuck with a big bill)
After baby was born, I was tryed to work things out with my boyfriend . Forthe kids sake I moved in with him . I was thinking going back to Russia but after I saw how kids were happy to see their baby-brother, I thought it won't be fair to take the baby with me and never let them to see him again.
SoI decided to fix ARC with my boyfriend and make a scientologist out of him.
I payed for his classes, I made him read lots of books , but it was not working.
He was not into scientology at all.Sea Org reicruter was keep writing and asking him when heis planning to join the sea org and our relationship was getting worce and worse.
We had different ideas about everything but mostly parenting. My boyfriend was working and I was watching his kids and my kid and was trying to aply scn tech .
My boyfriend did not like the way I raise his kids and he would call DCF on me each time he did not like something. DCF investigator came to my house several times and each cas as cloed with no indication of abuse or neglect but she felt I don't have enough parenting skills toi raise 4 kids (2 of my step kids had learning disabilities and one had ADHD. She thought I would benefit from parenting classes but I refused to take them at that time because I had a very bad opinion about psyhology)
My boyfriend never intended to marry me even DCF investigator advised him to do so. My boyfriend became very controling and supressive. Finaly we got married and my dad payed for a green card.
When i was pregnant with my second kid, i made several attemts to leave but he said he would put me in psyho ward untill I had a baby and then get a custody using some info he got from my past,including being involved in scn cult.
I had my second kid and then he put me out of the house and told me he got married . I did not even know we were divorced.
The judge made me to pay child suport and my ex-husband wrote a letter to immigration stating he is no longer my sponsor and he would like to get me removed from the country.
I went to work illegaly again,because i had to pay child support and I still had some freeloader debts left that werent payed in full. In 2002 I finally payed all my freeloaders debts and was on my way to get on good standing. I found out that my ex-husband's new wife left him acusing me of all kinds of things and as soon as she left my husband began crying that he cannot cake care of kids and he wants me to move back and he will take any cources or take auditing or do whatever he has to. I was too naive and bought that story and we got back together and had a baby girl. He took a few cources but it did not change anything,he was still supressive and controling.
In 2006 he made an atempt to kill me then kidnapped the kids (for the 3d time). DCF found the kids in motel and placed them in state legal custody and in my physical custody.
To prevent damaging PR of scn I did everything I could to keep the story out of the media. GAL was trying to invite me to some kinds of talk shows and some lawyers were going to make a petition to change the law but I was trying to keep scn out of it and asked DCF investigator to keep it out of the records,so she told to the judge that i put up withan abuser because of cultural differences and I got the legal custody of my kids
(continue later)
 
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FoTi

Crusader
I moved to NY then moved to NH and lived with my boyfriend's mother for a few month but then my boyfriends girlfriend called and told her that my baby is not her son's and we had a big ARC break. I moved back in Florida, and stayed with my friends and then went to women residentional shelter,then to salvation army shelter and then colition for the homeless. They helped me toget medicad at theend of my pregnacy (I did nt have anyprenatal care untill then ) and when its was a time to have a baby, the hospital stuff told me that my medicaid won't cover the birth because church of scientology should be responsible for the bill.
I explained them that I left cof s but they wanted to know why I left and if I intend to come back and at that time I did not want to ruin their PR ,so I did not say anything.
After baby was born, I was tryed to work things out with my boyfriend . Forthe kids sake I moved in with him . I was thinking going back to Russia but after I saw how kids were happy to see their baby-brother, I thought it won't be fair to take the baby with me and never let them to see him again.
SoI decided to fix ARC with my boyfriend and make a scientologist out of him.
I payed for his classes, I made him read lots of books , but it was not working.
He was not into scientology at all.Sea Org reicruter was keep writing and asking him when heis planning to join the sea org and our relationship was getting worce and worse.
We had different ideas about everything but mostly parenting. My boyfriend was working and I was watching his kids and my kid and was trying to aply scn tech .
My boyfriend did not like the way I raise his kids and he would call DCF on me each time he did not like something. DCF investigator came to my house several times and each cas as cloed with no indication of abuse or neglect but she felt I don't have enough parenting skills toi raise 4 kids (2 of my step kids had learning disabilities and one had ADHD. She thought I would benefit from parenting classes but I refused to take them at that time because I had a very bad opinion about psyhology)
My boyfriend never intended to marry me even DCF investigator advised him to do so. My boyfriend became very controling and supressive. Finaly we got married and my dad payed for a green card.
When i was pregnant with my second kid, i made several attemts to leave but he said he wouldput me in psyho ward untill I had a baby and then get a custody using some info he got from my past,including being involved in scn cult.
I had my second kid and then he put me out of the house and told me he got married . I did noteven know we were divorced.
The judge made me to pay childsuport and my ex-husband wrote a letter to immigration stating he isno longermy sponcor and he would like to get me removed from the country.
I went to work illegaly again,because i had to pay child support and I still had some freeloader debts left that werent payed in full. In 2002 I finally payed all my freeloaders debts and was on my way to get on good standing. I found out that my ex-husband's new wife left him acusing me of all kinds of things and as soon as she left my husband began crying that he cannot cake care of kids and he wants me to move back and he will take any cources or take auditing or do whatever he has to. I was too naive and bought that story and we got back together and had a baby girl. He took a few cources but it did not change anything,he was still supressive and controling.
In 2006 he made an atempt to kill me then kidnapped the kids (for the 3d time). DCF found the kids in motel and placed them in state legal custody and in my physical custody.
To prevent damaging PR of scn I did everything I could to keep the story out of the media. GAL was trying to invite me to some kinds of talk shows and some lawyers were going to make a petition to change the law but I was trying to keep scn out of it and asked DCF investigator to keep it out of the records,so she told to the judge that i put up withan abuser because of cultural differences and I got the legal custody of my kids
(continue later)

Wow. Please continue.
 

exsomessenger

Patron Meritorious
Wow, this is way to much. how are you allowing this kind of thing to happen to you? I was told by a very wise person " if it smells like shit and looks like shit. It has to be shit."

what a crazy mixed up story. And this is all after you were in scientology.
 

thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
In order to get my kids i had to take parenting classes and learn about ways to discipline kids and realistic expectations . I also took domestic violence classes and learned about power and control wheel and other things.
http://www.theduluthmodel.org/pdf/PhyVio.pdf
I started having some doubts about church of scientology.
But at that time i still was thinking that even though the church has lots of outpoints, I still should be loyal to them and keep the good PR.
My ex-husband was trying to use the fact that I was scientologist to remove kids out of my castody and place them in forster care but it did not work because I started taking kids to christian church to prevent any complications (even though my kids were still public at cofs.)
I was getting deeper and deeper in doubt about scientology and I decided to do officialy my doubt formula and leave the church.I lost many of my friends in Russia and US due to disconnection.
GAL, acting on behalf of the kids were trying to help me to get immigration status but I was not qualified for violence against women act because I got a divorce in 2002) They was going to help me to get my status under some other act or petition for another one but i was told that if it will go thru it will have my name on it and I didnot want it,so I took the easy way out.. I decided to get married to a friend of mine who was very supportive during all my court hearings.
We had a baby girl in 2007 and everything was great untill pastlife memories began to bothering me again. I made a mistake and shared my memories with my husband and that's was it. He acused me of living a double life becaue he had no idea that I was so crazy. He took our daughter and blew and said he is not comming back untill I see a shrink.
I got very mad at myself and was blaming scientology for everything. I was going to leave scientology for good and post everywhere that its all B.S but my freezoners-friends talked me out of it and then I decided to give freezone a chance.
(will continue)
 

thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
I'm actually hoping to reconnect with some people who knew me. I found a few already. I will post some pics of me back then
 

thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
oh,well,then I'm done here. Whats the point to continue it . Now I made up my mind once again.What was I thinking.. At least , some of my friends from freezone are trying to help. After I lost most of my scn friends they did support me and I should follow the code of honor and suport them back. At ESMB I made just a few friends and now I'm deeper in doubt if I should stay here.I don't have a problem with evaluation and invalidation normaly but I don't think I should lose all my kids just to make an important decission. I think,I just made it. Shit.. Thanks,guys.
 

Ogsonofgroo

Crusader
oh,well,then I'm done here. Whats the point to continue it . Now I made up my mind once again.What was I thinking.. At least , some of my friends from freezone are trying to help. After I lost most of my scn friends they did support me and I should follow the code of honor and suport them back. At ESMB I made just a few friends and now I'm deeper in doubt if I should stay here.I don't have a problem with evaluation and invalidation normaly but I don't think I should lose all my kids just to make an important decission. I think,I just made it. Shit.. Thanks,guys.

Ideally it'd be to make you feel better? Be not afraid TFD, we all re-write our histories every day as seems fit, few do not.
No fear kiddo! Go for it! (oh I enjoyed the origional version, but do carry on)
 
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