I decided to re-write my story

thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
Ideally it'd be to make you feel better? Be not afraid TFD, we all re-write our histories every day as seems fit, few do not.
No fear kiddo! Go for it! (oh I enjoyed the origional version, but do carry on)

not trying to re-write my history as seems fit.
Trying to tell is as is without any case stuff involved..
May be I should not have done it..But one thing I know for sure now.
What's real to me is real to me and I don'thave to let others to mess with my reality. :no:
 

Ogsonofgroo

Crusader
not trying to re-write my history as seems fit.
Trying to tell is as is without any case stuff involved..
May be I should not have done it..But one thing I know for sure now.
What's real to me is real to me and I don'thave to let others to mess with my reality. :no:


That's cool, no hard from here, tell it like you want, I'll still be here to read it as I have read so many other's stories, just do what makes you feel good I think, and yeh, my opinion means squat.

:cake: :rose:
 

Panda Termint

Cabal Of One
That's as it should be, Firedragon. Tell your story however you see fit. I hope that your life gets better with each day and that you find what you are seeking for yourself and your family. Make the best of the hand you've been dealt in this life.
 
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thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
thanks:) I have lots of papers from courts to prove what I'm saying but I don't think I have to prove anything.:whistling:
 
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I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation
oh,well,then I'm done here. Whats the point to continue it . Now I made up my mind once again.What was I thinking.. At least , some of my friends from freezone are trying to help. After I lost most of my scn friends they did support me and I should follow the code of honor and suport them back. At ESMB I made just a few friends and now I'm deeper in doubt if I should stay here.I don't have a problem with evaluation and invalidation normaly but I don't think I should lose all my kids just to make an important decission. I think,I just made it. Shit.. Thanks,guys.


Yep, you need to talk with scientologists by the sound of it ... you can say whatever you like to them and there will be no invalidation or evaluation whatsoever (heaven forbid!).

I wish you good luck and hope all turns out well for you.


:yes:
 

AngeloV

Gold Meritorious Patron
You have been through some terrible experiences. As a father and grandfather I have this advice: You should be doing everything you can to feed, clothe and educate your children. You should be working and providing a safe and healthy environment for them. You shouldn't be thinking of anything else until they are all in school (from your dates, it sounds like at least one is not old enough for school yet).

Forget about working for any church, especially scientology. Get a good job if you don't already have one and plan on going to school yourself in the near future. You have about 18 years ahead of you to take care of your children. They should be your number 1 priority. Everything else is of little importance.

I don't want to sound mean but you will regret it if you don't take care of your children properly. If you put scientology (freezone or not) ahead of them, it would be a bad mistake.

Good luck, for your family's sake.
 

thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
Thanks. :)
Kids are fine.They are 10,8 and 6 now,all in school. The yongest one lives with her dad and half siblings.My ex-stepkids live with their mother and I'm taking art lessons now
 

AngeloV

Gold Meritorious Patron
That's great! Sorry I got the dates wrong.

Good luck and health to you and your family.
 

AnonyMary

Formerly Fooled - Finally Free
Thanks. :)
Kids are fine.They are 10,8 and 6 now,all in school. The yongest one lives with her dad and half siblings.My ex-stepkids live with their mother and I'm taking art lessons now

I'm glad you re-wrote it because, even though I am no longer a scientologist, it is always difficult for me to read when a person is discussing case stuff and there is nothing one can do from a distance like this but ignore it or acknowledge it - harder still if one does not share the same reality as the other - so the ack can be misconstrued as agreement or disagreement- one way or the other. It does not help anyone to invalidate. But as you consider yourself still a scientologist, I am happy you have found comfort and support in the FZ and independent field instead of the church, as they are the people who can help you keep your attention off your case outside session per the tech that you love - having support is so necessary for anyone trying to live life and juggle the responsibilities of being a parent. Planet Parenthood is a universe even LRH knew ( and wrote ) so little of,-that's why there was so little support available when everything was going on down at Flag. Can you imagine if you'd been ordered by Flag to go off and raise your children to the best of your ability, to be a good parent and seek help where ever it was available, instead of being shunned? Well, you are doing it without CoS help and with support and every now and then give yourself a pat on the back for persevering and being a good mom, especially if there is no one around to give you one.

And thanks for the link on the Physical Domestic Violence Pie Chart ( which everyone needs to read IMHO). Many years ago I gave a friend of mine the only paper copy I had of it and later there were times I wished I'd had a copy to give out to a person in need - now I have one thanks to you :)

I think it's perfect that you are taking art lessions because you have a way, then to uniquely and creatively express yourself and explore futures beyond the everyday stresses. Good for you on what you have accomplished.

Mary
 

Lurker5

Gold Meritorious Patron
OMG

Anyway, the father of my baby already had 3 kids from previous marriage and before i knew i was pregnant, I was hoping he will join the Sea org with his kids. I took him and the kids to Clearwater and let himto speak to SO reicruiter and make a plan, because his youngest daughter was only 6.
I went to clearwater several times and my friends would not even talk to me. They was talking to my boyfriend but not to me.. I went to visit some of friends and they told me they won't talk to me untill I pay off all my freeloaders debts and do the lower conditions.
Then i got mad and made a decission to have kids and not to go back. But as soon as my boyfriend found out i was pregnant he began to deny the baby and I moved out from his appartment and became homeless. i still was not sure what i was going to do. I was all by myself and i knew if i call my parents, would hear "we told you so " and that's the last thing wanted to hear.

will continue.

I hate c-o-$hit. THIS is WHY.

Keep going, FireDragon. You are doing fine - with your story.
 

thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
thanks, guys :)
I was thinking about disconnection.I think, disconnection from your family and friends is bad in most of cases but insome cases it can be good. The reason I put up with my ex-husband for so long was because I believed that to handle is better than to disconnect. I was trying to handle for 7 years..And it did not work. So, now I'm a big fan of a free will now and I think a person should have a choice. Disconnection is not always bad.
Thereis a group on FB "people against disconnection policy"
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=257284803973&ref=search
I used to be admin of that group for 1 day but as soon as i said that disconnection is not always bad, I got replaced. :melodramatic:
Well. I agree,it bad most of the time but i have my own FB group now
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=116191328424866&ref=ts
because I believe that disconnection should not be forced..
 

Zinjifar

Silver Meritorious Sponsor
Thereis a group on FB "people against disconnection policy"
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=257284803973&ref=search
I used to be admin of that group for 1 day but as soon as i said that disconnection is not always bad, I got replaced. :melodramatic:
Well. I agree,it bad most of the time but i have my own FB group now
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=116191328424866&ref=ts
because I believe that disconnection should not be forced..

So, what do you think about Ron's demand that you must 'handle or disconnect'? Do you think that you need to 'handle' people too? Forced 'agreement' or else?

Is it possible to 'live and let live' without *either* handling or disconnecting? Was the first Facebook group you were on trying to say that you can never decide not to associate with anyone? Or, were they specifically talking about Scientology's *enforced* Disconnection Policy, in which case why would you have been trying to say that it's 'not always bad'?

Zinj
 

thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
I was trying to say that real SPs do exist sometimes and even though SP label was very abused the original purpose of it was to protect the orgs.
I do believe that man is bacicaly good and there are just a few "SP"s out there but I also believe that if person getting too much PTSness disconnection could be an option.
I mean, come on.. My ex told me he will kill me and tell my kids I went back to Russia.. Don't think I should keep trying to handle after that. I got and injunction (first temporary then a permanent one) and I'm happy
 

thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
And thanks for the link on the Physical Domestic Violence Pie Chart ( which everyone needs to read IMHO). Many years ago I gave a friend of mine the only paper copy I had of it and later there were times I wished I'd had a copy to give out to a person in need - now I have one thanks to you :)
Mary

You're welcome :)
That what made me realize how much SP DM is
 

Lurker5

Gold Meritorious Patron
No one

I was trying to say that real SPs do exist sometimes and even though SP label was very abused the original purpose of it was to protect the orgs.
I do believe that man is bacicaly good and there are just a few "SP"s out there but I also believe that if person getting too much PTSness disconnection could be an option.
I mean, come on.. My ex told me he will kill me and tell my kids I went back to Russia.. Don't think I should keep trying to handle after that. I got and injunction (first temporary then a permanent one) and I'm happy

No one should have to put up with abuse. I believe in leaving as soon as it shows up . . . Threats to one's life and health - to one's kids - get the hell out FAST - and get a restraining order (or go to Russia:). People who abuse in this way are sociopaths. Yes, disconnect from sociopaths and protect yourself if you have pissed one off.
 

thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
No one should have to put up with abuse. I believe in leaving as soon as it shows up .. Yes, disconnect from sociopaths and protect yourself if you have pissed one off.
:thumbsup:
I'm trying to advocate in the favor of a free will now. Disconnection ,if aplied correctly can save lives. If it aplied wrongly,it can destroy families
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exsomessenger

Patron Meritorious
I think the main problem here is that you are applying the scientology type of disconnection to a domestic situation. If your husband is hitting you that is criminal. It has nothing to do with handle or disconnect. it is against the law plain and simple.

When I first got out I was heavy into the scientology think and talk. It might serve you well to try and seperate the two.

Also it is a shame what you have gone through, what part of this do you claim responsibility and what have you done to ensure thatthe same mistakes do not continue in the future?

I would suggest some one on one therapy, mby not the scientology type, just for now. :confused2:

Do you like this sort of confusion as it seems that you keep making the choice to keep the confusion going. It is up to you to decide that you are better then all of this, and worth it, and then take the correct actions to ensure that you do not keep going down the same road.

My two cents.

Thanks for telling your story. (for what it is worth.)
 

thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
I think the main problem here is that you are applying the scientology type of disconnection to a domestic situation. If your husband is hitting you that is criminal. It has nothing to do with handle or disconnect. it is against the law plain and simple

)

Thanks. The thing is, he wasnot hitting me (well,may be just a few times) but his main thing was control and threats with deportation,I found out his first wife left because he held her at the gun point and shehad no choice but leave the kids. I think, domestic violence has a lot to do with disconnection.
I really believed I could handle his case and I did for a few years. I even got him to take a few cources and at that time it was a big win for me. (till I realized he only took them so I will watch his kids when he was out of town.)
I still think that any case can be handled but its a two way road. A person has to want to change.My ex has another girlfriend now with kids and she is not complaining. May be he did changed.
 

Lurker5

Gold Meritorious Patron
Yes

:thumbsup:
I'm trying to advocate in the favor of a free will now. Disconnection ,if aplied correctly can save lives. If it aplied wrongly,it can destroy families
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Yes, and other relationships. Tolerance, work it out - but not in the case of abuse. Leave abuse.
 
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