I still feel like a scientologist when...

pineapple

Silver Meritorious Patron
A couple years ago I was having some dental work done, at a dental school (much cheaper). I had a regular student dentist, but occasionally I got seen by faculty members. Before starting they'd ask "Are you taking any drugs? Any medications?", questions of that nature. But if you've been coming there for a while, they figure you know the drill and shorten it up a bit.

One day I was being treated by a faculty member I hadn't seen before. He leaned over, looked me in the eye, and said, "Before we get started, is there anything I should know?" I immediately flashed back to "Is there anything I have failed to find out about you?" and "Is there something I should know about you that I don't?" I'm sure if I was on the meter he'd have got a blowdown.
 

pineapple

Silver Meritorious Patron
OMG. I've just discovered what pre-disposes somebody to joining Scientology: it's having been a paper boy/girl previously! I ran out my paperboy timetrack just now, and now I'm having win-after-win-after-win-after-win.
Shit, I was one too! It must restim something on the whole track ...

The Newsboy Implant (omitted from History of Man by SP transcriptionists)

The thetan was placed in a doll body, hypnotized, and given the usual commands about obedience, etc. He was then awakened in total darkness, given a stack of newspapers and told he must deliver them. And he went around, sometimes on foot, sometimes on a contraption very much like a modern-day bicycle, and delivered these papers. The houses, buildings, etc. to which he delivered were actually just false fronts (like in a Western-movie set) behind which the implanters hid and observed him. He could hear their mocking laughter but not see them. Then the "sun" came up -- actually a dazzling searchlight -- and the thetan could see the doll body's hands, clothing etc., black with newsprint. This made him feel that he was "dirty," "no good," and so on. This was reinforced with further hypnotic suggestions whispered from behind the false-front buildings.

A preclear with The Newsboy in restimulation often joins groups, churches etc. which offer to "cleanse" him of his faults and past misdeeds. Some preclears have been known to dramatize The Newsboy by using newspapers to clean windows, out of a distorted compulsion to become "clear."
 
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ThetanExterior

Gold Meritorious Patron
A couple years ago I was having some dental work done, at a dental school (much cheaper). I had a regular student dentist, but occasionally I got seen by faculty members. Before starting they'd ask "Are you taking any drugs? Any medications?", questions of that nature. But if you've been coming there for a while, they figure you know the drill and shorten it up a bit.

One day I was being treated by a faculty member I hadn't seen before. He leaned over, looked me in the eye, and said, "Before we get started, is there anything I should know?" I immediately flashed back to "Is there anything I have failed to find out about you?" and "Is there something I should know about you that I don't?" I'm sure if I was on the meter he'd have got a blowdown.
I usually go to the dentists about once a year and I have to go through the sec check each time. They always ask the same questions - medical history, drugs, alcohol etc.

When they get to the one about using fluoride toothpaste I always answer yes even though I deliberately avoid fluoride whenever I can. I know the dentist requires a "yes" answer so I give them an acceptable truth. That's when I feel like a scientologist.
 

F.Bullbait

Oh, a wise guy,eh?
I still feel like a scientologist when… (L&N)


I don’t have any cash.

I borrow and don’t repay.

I don’t get any sleep.

I don’t have a change of clothes.

I work 7 days a week.

I clean without soap.

I don’t have TP.

I see a cop.

I see a wog.

I ack someone.

I originate something.

I blink.

I don’t blink.

I confront.

I snitch.

I clap when others do.

I defend the indefensible.

I believe the unbelievable.

Everything is explained.

Someone quotes a ‘philosopher’.

The conversation is cut and dried.

I would rather be somewhere else.

chickenoriginal.jpg
chickenthoreau.jpg
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.

Sometimes I feel like a Scientologist when . . .

I find myself not producing. But then I handle it by slamming my ethics in and spotting and blowing the Counter & Other-Intentionedness and then making it go right to get back on purpose so that I can save mankind, on this planet.​
Sometimes I find myself using the term "on this planet", on this planet (i.e. I tend to not use that term on other planets).​
.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.

Sometimes I feel like a Scientologist when. . .

My company doesn't have enough money to buy toilet paper, so then I stay up all night writing/mailing handwritten letters to all the contacts in my address book, asking them how they are doing since we met in 1969.
.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.

screamer2 said:
Bah. Humbug.

OT's don't need no steekeen toilet paper.

They just make it go right.

.



LOL

If L. Ron Hubbard had written an advanced OT level that "discovered" that an OT could "as-is" their own VFPs (Valuable Fecal Products) while still in situ, Scientologists would then look at any other Scientologist using the WC as a DB who (ironically) hadn't yet "made it".

Seriously, Scientologists would then be giving OT wins in "ADVANCE!" magazine about how they, since attesting to "the level", did not need to poop even once in a the past year.

SUMMARY: Scientologists are simply pathetically deluded status seekers. (You really thought Scientology was something more than that? What else are the celebrated and miraculous states of "Clear" and "OT", in people who are quite ordinary?) I know this for a fact. I scientifically researched it (I was there). LOL

.
 
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lotus

stubborn rebel sheep!
Each month I don't have toothpaste, soap, deodorant, and I pull out crimes from people who blow me....

I feel staff scientologist.......
 

screamer2

Idiot Bastardson
Apparently, feces and feces-related items 'indicate' for the clams. I suggest that we help them flatten this...

A public at a local org walks into a toilet...
 

screamer2

Idiot Bastardson
Each month I don't have toothpaste, soap, deodorant, and I pull out crimes from people who blow me....

I feel staff scientologist.......

Sell one of the Rolexes, Lotus. Outta be worth at least a bushel of soap and a tub of toothpaste plus any number of blow jobs.
 

lotus

stubborn rebel sheep!
Apparently, feces and feces-related items 'indicate' for the clams. I suggest that we help them flatten this...

A public at a local org walks into a toilet...

....2 minutes later....

" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. :) "

10 seconds later...

"WTF :eek:"
 
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lotus

stubborn rebel sheep!
.

Sometimes I feel like a Scientologist when. . .

My company doesn't have enough money to buy toilet paper, so then I stay up all night writing/mailing handwritten letters to all the contacts in my address book, asking them how they are doing since we met in 1969.
.
OMG...

I can't stop laughing.. :laugh:

That was our daily routine...


12 January 1998,

Hello John,

How are you doing with your reading of DMSMH you bought in 1975??
Call us if you need some help!



ML
ARC


Lotus
 
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screamer2

Idiot Bastardson
.

Sometimes I feel like a Scientologist when. . .

My company doesn't have enough money to buy toilet paper, so then I stay up all night writing/mailing handwritten letters to all the contacts in my address book, asking them how they are doing since we met in 1969.
.

Only someone who has been there and done that can understand this. It's perfect shibboleth for weeding out exes vs imposters.
 

Irayam

Patron with Honors
....2 minutes later....

" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. :) "

10 seconds later...

"WTF :eek:"
I’m reading this in the toilet of my company...:hysterical:
I had to check if there is some toilet paper!!
Of course, there is at least 3 rolls available. This is because I’m working for a WOG company that sells valuable products.
:fighting:
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
OMG...

I can't stop laughing.. :laugh:

That was our daily routine...


12 January 1998,

Hello John,

How are you doing with the book DMSMH you bought in 1975??
Call us if you need some help!



ML
ARC


Lotus
.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Jeez, I laughed so much at the hopeless stupidity of that letter, I think i just keyed out a gorilla goal implant.

.
 
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Irayam

Patron with Honors
Soooooo...
You’re ready for OTIX!! You can open the pack!!






OMG, can’t wait...







There is only one command:

« Find something you could exchange for toilet paper »
Repeat till cog and VGIs

Irayam
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
..

12 January 1998,

Hello John,

How are you doing with the book DMSMH you bought in 1975??
Call us if you need some help!



ML
ARC


Lotus
LOL!

"LETTERS TO CF" could be an entire thread by itself!

Dear Barney,
According to your CF file, you came into the org 37 year ago, but there is no indication
in your folder that you purchased Dianetics. Are we missing the invoice? How did you
like your wins from that book?
The only notation I see in your file is a scrap of paper that has your name on it
and the notation "WC", so it appears you have received Word Clearing on
Dianetics already. Did that resolve the reason you did not continue studying
Scientology, because Ron states that the only reason you blew our org is an MU.
We've gone Ideal now, so whatever was the out-tech back then has been
handled, you should really come in and check us out! The marble is from
Italy and super upstat!
ML,
Billy Blowdown


And miraculously Billy gets a reply 5 months later. . .


Dear Mr. Blowdown
I am not sure what you are talking about in your letter. Much of it sounded
like a foreign language to me.
In any case, I never bought the book you are referring to. And the "WC"
notation is weird that someone wrote that down. I was only in your org
for 4 minutes because I asked to use the WC because I had way too many
beers that day.
Sorry, but I don't know what Scientology is and I don't care.
Please do not write me again, it's creeping me out.
Regards,
Barney Johnson
And Billy Blowdown enthusiastically writes back. . .


Dear Barney,
It was so great to hear from you again, old friend. I totally
duplicate that you did not buy Dianetics. But you did spend
several minutes in the WC, so I need to ask you this. What
word or symbol did you see in the bathroom that you did
not fully understand?
Again, and I can't emphasize this enough, Ron states that
the only reason someone gives up a subject or blows is
a misunderstood word. Let me know what day this week we
can schedule you for a free word-clearing session.
Don't worry, we didn't give up on you and, relax, we're not some kind
of weird cult. Listen, we can still help you recover your eternity
while there's time before the planet is destroyed.
ML,
Billy Blowdown
 
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screamer2

Idiot Bastardson
LOL!

"LETTERS TO CF" could be an entire thread by itself!

Dear Barney,
According to your CF file, you came into the org 37 year ago, but there is no indication
in your folder that you purchased Dianetics. Are we missing the invoice? How did you
like your wins from that book?
The only notation I see in your file is a scrap of paper that has your name on it
and the notation "WC", so it appears you have received Word Clearing on
Dianetics already. Did that resolve the reason you did not continue studying
Scientology, because Ron states that the only reason you blew our org is an MU.
We've gone Ideal now, so whatever was the out-tech back then has been
handled, you should really come in and check us out! The marble is from
Italy and super upstat!
ML,
Billy Blowdown


And miraculously Billy gets a reply 5 months later. . .


Dear Mr. Blowdown
I am not sure what you are talking about in your letter. Much of it sounded
like a foreign language to me.
In any case, I never bought the book you are referring to. And the "WC"
notation is weird that someone wrote that down. I was only in your org
for 4 minutes because I asked to use the WC because I had way too many
beers that day.
Sorry, but I don't know what Scientology is and I don't care.
Please do not write me again, it's creeping me out.
Regards,
Barney Johnson
And Billy Blowdown enthusiastically writes back. . .


Dear Barney,
It was so great to hear from you again, old friend. I totally
duplicate that you did not buy Dianetics. But you did spend
several minutes in the WC, so I need to ask you this. What
word or symbol did you see in the bathroom that you did
not fully understand?
Again, and I can't emphasize this enough, Ron states that
the only reason someone gives up a subject or blows is
a misunderstood word. Let me know what day this week we
can schedule you for a free word-clearing session.
Don't worry, we didn't give up on you and, relax, we're not some kind
of weird cult. Listen, we can still help you recover your eternity
while there's time before the planet is destroyed.
ML,
Billy Blowdown

:hmm:
But you did spend
several minutes in the WC, so I need to ask you this. What
word or symbol did you see in the bathroom that you did
not fully understand?

Again, and I can't emphasize this enough, Ron states that
the only reason someone gives up a subject or blows is
a misunderstood word. Let me know what day this week we
can schedule you...

Do I even need to point out the irony of this situation? This is far too common in orgs around the planet these days.

There are many reasons why someone would 'give up a subject' or choose to conduct 'blows' in a WC or bathroom other than misunderstood words.
 
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