I used to wonder....what is Love?

[Pixie]

The whole time I was in Scn, I only once dated a Scn. That lasted two or three weeks.

In retrospect, that should have been a clue.

Well trying to have any kind of normal relationship while in was nigh on impossible, the main thing is that you are here now, in love, and happy, and that's what counts!

 

[clearcat]

When I was a child I spent most of my time/life crying, growing up. Somehow Knowing in my Heart of Hearts that Love was something that was Beautiful beyond Words, but for some reason, 'That Beautiful Thing', had denied me.

For example: The first time I was beaten (severely) I was 5 years old. And after that, I lost count (over the course of the next 10 years).

What is Love?

The doctor said my right arm had been broken in 2 places. He asked my 'Keepers' how did it happen?. They said I had 'fallen down'. He put my arm in a cast, and sent me home. To them. And I went home. To them. For the next ten years.

What is Love?

Teddy Hower was my best friend (when I was 5 and he was 4). We were inseparable. We were best friends forever (bff). Unbeknownst to both of us however (at the time) our parents had left us in the custody of the state of pennsylvania, legally (and permanently). And we would never see our parents again. Which concept was beyond our comprehension at the time.

For I was 5 (and he was 4).

What is Love?

The first time I saw Teddy getting beaten (by our Matron) I freaked out. I literally went crazy. Which is why I think my arm ended up getting broken (a few days later). Nonetheless the doctor patched me up, and sent me home.

The arm healed.

What is Love?

The first time I ever got punched in the face (and knocked unconscious) was when I was 11. The man that did it was 47. His name was Mr. Sheck. He was the source of great terror and great fear amongst all of the children I was living with (including me too). One night our Matron (Mrs. Shields) called Mr. Sheck and told him that we (our house of 12 boys) were in need of his discipline. She said we were laughing instead of concentrating on our homework (which was true because we were, by the way). So anyway's Mr. Sheck came to our cottage and went crazy. He grabbed a boy named Michael Lantz and started beating him. And he was beating him bad. Michael was crying (and all of the other boys were crying, and I was crying too) and then, out of nowhere, I flipped out. I literally went crazy (I was just 11 at the time). I screamed at Mr. Sheck "if you're such a big man why don't you beat me instead of beating Michael". The house fell silent. You see, I loved Michael. He was a really nice kid and a truly good friend. And he never hurt anyone. And besides, he didn't really start the kids laughing that night, 'I did'.

What is Love?

Mr. Sheck told me to stand up (as I was sitting down at the study table when I flipped out). I stood up. He ordered the boys to quit crying. Which all did (except for a few whimpers that were understandably uncontrollable at the time). He grabbed me by the throat, slammed me up against the wall, said to the other boys 'let this be a lesson ' and then he punched me in the face so hard I went out like a light. Out cold. In a heartbeat. That is to say, he knocked me out.

What is Love?

When I came to, Mr. Sheck was gone, Mrs. Shields was upstairs (in her bedroom) and I was surrounded by the 11 other boys. Chiefly Michael. That is to say he had my head cradled in his arms, and he was crying (for me).

What is Love?

When I first joined scientology I believed that one day I would be preventing any other child in the whole world from ever having to suffer what I (and my friends) had suffered, as children. I believed that sane men and sane women had rights in this world but that human-machines that abused and terrorized children had none, whatsoever. I believed that goodness trumped evil and that Ron had proved it, and that I would prove it, one day, too. I believed, I believed, I believed.

What is Love?

Mojo

Oh Mojo, I can feel the pain. Often it is not expressed in physical abuse but also mental. I was in a (what I call) prison camp as a baby and I still have a photo of me "behind bars" when I was less than a year old. I was dumped into a foster home right after my birth, then placed into various foster homes later. The first foster parents were really gentle, the ones after that had what I call "a loose hand", e.g. when you dropped a glass or a cup when doing the dishes at age 6 or so, you got smacked and punished.

It is a rough world and I never understood why people have to express power over under-privileged - be it kids or animals. It just shows how weak and poor they are to having to do so just to feel right. The same seems to apply for DM, when abusing staff - physically and mentally.

How did you get along though all that? What are you doing now - if I may ask?

 

[Pixie]

Oh Mojo, I can feel the pain. Often it is not expressed in physical abuse but also mental. I was in a (what I call) prison camp as a baby and I still have a photo of me "behind bars" when I was less than a year old. I was dumped into a foster home right after my birth, then placed into various foster homes later. The first foster parents were really gentle, the ones after that had what I call "a loose hand", e.g. when you dropped a glass or a cup when doing the dishes at age 6 or so, you got smacked and punished.

It is a rough world and I never understood why people have to express power over under-privileged - be it kids or animals. It just shows how weak and poor they are to having to do so just to feel right. The same seems to apply for DM, when abusing staff - physically and mentally.

How did you get along though all that? What are you doing now - if I may ask?

I don't know where Mojo is clearcat, but I wish he would come back, he's been away for over a week now. Mojo!! :megaphone: Where are you Mojo!!! Come back!! Pleeeeease!!!!

 

[Dulloldfart]

John Harvey from Saint Hill (I'd known him for 35 years) sent me a flier with a Hubbard quote from a lecture, saying love was a mixture of admiration and sympathy, and if you alternated the two very quickly you could get a feeling of love turn on.

I don't know that I ever tried it, but I will pass on that quote for what it is worth, even if it only says something about Hubbard.

Paul

 

[Moonchild]

An interesting observation; earlier in life I'd experienced the phenomenon described by some as "love at first sight" and on reflection, in those cases, I would say the "admiration and sympathy" thing applied....intensely-so as it happened.

When in 1971 I met the girl who was to become my wife it wasn't like that really. What attracted us to each other was more along the lines of similar I.Q., similar wicked humour, and a sense of mutual affection...a sense of being right for each other in some indefinable way, rather than manic infatuation a la "Mills & Boon" or whatever.

We married in 1976 and are still happily together despite the up-and-downs that will surely beset any long-term relationship and most especially despite the attempts of the Co$ to drive a wedge between us...she thought it was a bunch of hooey from day one but nonetheless made no attempt to block me from participating...just quietly let me have my way despite the money etc.

Over the years we've grown more and more spiritually-intertwined (for want of a better turn of phrase) and to me, this is what "love" is really about.

One good thing from Scn. though.....we learned not to have withholds from each other: we know each other's filthy secrets ...I truly believe that for a relationship to flourish and grow....to become a loving relationship in the fullest sense that is essential.

Funny thing, we still have many things in contrast; for example the old girl doesn't give a cunker's tiss about religion and philosophy, we can never agree about how we want the back-garden to look, different tastes in art and music etc., but it just doesn't seem to matter. A classic case of "Amor vincit omnia" perhaps.

Just saying all this to illustrate the breadth of what can be meant by that crazy little thing called love....and to speculate on LRH's opinions 'pon the same.

 

[Pixie]

An interesting observation; earlier in life I'd experienced the phenomenon described by some as "love at first sight" and on reflection, in those cases, I would say the "admiration and sympathy" thing applied....intensely-so as it happened.

When in 1971 I met the girl who was to become my wife it wasn't like that really. What attracted us to each other was more along the lines of similar I.Q., similar wicked humour, and a sense of mutual affection...a sense of being right for each other in some indefinable way, rather than manic infatuation a la "Mills & Boon" or whatever.

We married in 1976 and are still happily together despite the up-and-downs that will surely beset any long-term relationship and most especially despite the attempts of the Co$ to drive a wedge between us...she thought it was a bunch of hooey from day one but nonetheless made no attempt to block me from participating...just quietly let me have my way despite the money etc.

Over the years we've grown more and more spiritually-intertwined (for want of a better turn of phrase) and to me, this is what "love" is really about.

One good thing from Scn. though.....we learned not to have withholds from each other: we know each other's filthy secrets ...I truly believe that for a relationship to flourish and grow....to become a loving relationship in the fullest sense that is essential.

Funny thing, we still have many things in contrast; for example the old girl doesn't give a cunker's tiss about religion and philosophy, we can never agree about how we want the back-garden to look, different tastes in art and music etc., but it just doesn't seem to matter. A classic case of "Amor vincit omnia" perhaps.

Just saying all this to illustrate the breadth of what can be meant by that crazy little thing called love....and to speculate on LRH's opinions 'pon the same.

That was a beautiful post Moonchild, you are very lucky indeed to have survived the cult. Sounds like you have the relationship thing sussed which is truly wonderful, love is a many splendor thing!

 

[Moonchild]

Thank you Pixie....bless....

 

[Pixie]

Thank you Pixie....bless....

 

[Free Will]

John Harvey from Saint Hill (I'd known him for 35 years) sent me a flier with a Hubbard quote from a lecture, saying love was a mixture of admiration and sympathy, and if you alternated the two very quickly you could get a feeling of love turn on.

I don't know that I ever tried it, but I will pass on that quote for what it is worth, even if it only says something about Hubbard.

Paul

Yes indeed, Paul, it sure says a lot about Hubbard.I was such a sucker I thought when Hubbard signed all his communications 'Love' he meant the same as my old Grandma!
Good old John Harvey, what a splendid gentleman and toastmaster! He was a genuine Lieutenant-Commander, worked on Air-Craft Carrier HMS Hood! I recall when I was living in Tunbridge Wells in the mid-90s I read a sad(or maybe not so sad) item in the local Courier saying that John had just gone off into the woods one night and never seen again. Yes, he was a good un, and I remember dozens others I loved - and I probably loved you a lot more than Ron did!