A wise friend once told me " Expectations are resentment under construction ".
And I've found that useful.
That is very interesting. I was cleaning out some drawers yesterday, and I picked up a booklet by Paramahansa Yogananda, flipped randomly to a page, read it, and this is what it said:
"Master", I said, "I must have disappointed you by my abrupt departure from my duties here; I thought you might be angry with me."
"No, of course not", he replied. "Wrath springs only from thwarted desires. I do not expect anything from others, so their actions cannot be in opposition to wishes of mine. I would not use you for my own ends; I am happy only in your own true happiness".
That has much to do with what you said above, and what has been discussed earlier regarding "unconditional love".
Also, to tie it into Scientology a bit. Hubbard talks about the C-D-E-I scale. That involves the idea of how any person interacts with some object of desire (though Hubbard fails to talk about it in these terms). Now, to be quite unattached and not overly identified, one could remain mildly CURIOUS about something. Once one "sinks" to DESIRE, one is getting attached. One wants something, and therefore, when that something is blocked, thwarted or fails to be realized, one gets "upset" (angry, sad, violent, apathetic, etc.).
Also, since everything is subject to the cycle of birth - persistence - death, there is no thing anywhere that will continue to satisfy any desire. In the end, every desire will find itself unfulfilled (unless you are really adept at juggling these things). And, in truth, most things rarely turn out "as expected" or "as envisioned". They might not necessarily turn out "badly", but they almost always turn out "differently" (sometimes in good ways if you are willing to loosen up on ones expectations and demands of reality).
And, per Hubbard if the realization of the desire is blocked continually and over a period of time, one can "sink" lower into states of ENFORCED DESIRE and INHIBITED DESIRE. There is some truth to that. It is not entirely fiction.
What I find interesting is that Hubbard spent all of this time digging into the
overly ATTACHED states of mind. In the east they say, screw ALL of that, and let go of the desire completely. Simply, just be happy to want for nothing, and then, you can never be let down. That means NO EXPECTATIONS about ANYTHING on any dynamic. Of course, Hubbard's entire "philosophy" is built counter to that eastern notion, because his subject is all about "satisfying desires" (winning, surviving, flourishing and prospering, expanding, etc.). Hubbard puts almost all his attention on the zone BELOW where the yogis abandon!
See, if doing Scientology actually led you to a state where you rose up to a state where you were truly curious about all things, with no great desire or attachment, THAT would be cool. But, it never does that. Not in its current form as designed by Hubbard.
For all of Hubbard's endless yapping about he was a natural outgrowth of eastern ideas and practices, he is quite FULL OF SHIT.
It is very easy to understand. If you want to truly be happy, then do not have any attachment at any object on any dynamic, and let go of ALL desires of any sort.
Of course, most people do NOT want to do that. But, according to what some of these mystics and sages say, the incredible joy that fills ones soul when one does so FAR overbalances any "loss" of satisfying the many various physical, mental and emotional needs and desires.
The problem is that you won't know if this is true unless you REALLY do it. And THAT takes time, patience and hard work. And, after being so dissatisfied with the LAST spiritual path that you walked (Scientology), most are not ready or willing to jump 100% into another!