I'm done

[Sharone Stainforth]

Originally posted by Oneflewover:

Yeah, I'm aware of what happened to Paulette Cooper and others and I'm pretty appalled that there hasn't been any jail time served for these crimes.

But that seems long ago and far away to me now (in terms of how OSA operated then, not what happened to the real people involved). Lately, they just seem stupid and useless. Overworked and spread way too thin.

One should never forget what happened to Paulette Cooper, or Nan in Canada or Gerry Armstrong, Arnie Lerma, Dennis Erlich, Jim Henson, the list is huge.It might seem a long way away for some, but I can guarantee it is going on for others as we speak.Bungling and useles as they might appear.

 

[RogerB]

Well Emma, I hear ya.

I’ve been pondering what to say; and that in the context of what you have accomplished, what you mean to me and to so many others and, mainly in the context of what you deserve.

There is, of course, the Time to Say Goodbye to the drama, conflicts and other aggravating nastiness and of all things derived from Scientology.

And now is your time to say goodbye to it all.

Many have already said it and you know how I feel towards you: you are an absolute STAR!

You have accomplished phenomenally much. It is my belief that had ESMB not existed, the Senate action with Xeno would not have occurred.

You have been and continue to be a phenomenal force for good and sanity . . . and that on so many, many fronts.

I so sincerely wish for you all that you wish for yourself, Tansy and your daughter (I’ve not access to my email records at the moment and have forgotten her name: but tell it’s OK to call me Wodger!)

Yes, it’s time to say goodbye to all the work and hassles of caring for the others that you have via ESMB . . . there comes a time when it really is too much of a sacrifice of self to the benefit of others.

You’ve done enough of that, and as I said, you’ve accomplished so phenomenally much good for so many others.

Now time to look after self; and I so much support you in that.

You’ve done so many things right, and properly, I know you’ll do your freedom from ESMB management properly, and well.

As to the shitheads . . . don’t take any of that personally. Their ilk spew their venom everywhere—even on themselves, it’s just that they are not bright enough to know they are doing themselves in. It is insanity: and you can simply recognize that and leave it at that . . . I said it of them when they were here. They live in fantasy-land: one has to be there to lie and deal in falsehood as they do. You just happen to be a very visible and brave target.

You’re way, way bigger than any of that shit and you are beloved by many—as you must know. They are beloved by none as none can actually truly commune with them: they can only falsely hype each other—there is no love there, only hatred of true life.

So Emms: LIVE YOUR LIFE AS YOU TRULY WANT. BE FREE TO FLY HIGH.

I, as many do, love you and honor you,

The standing ovation below is for you . . . .

RogerB

[video=youtube;Nl9WMIPzd6w]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl9WMIPzd6w[/video]

 

[Veda]

-snip-

Then about a week after I lost my mother, a new Facebook group sprung up called "Ex Scientology message bored". I'm pretty sure the timing was no coincidence. Again it was initiated by Zinj and again was a closed group (as in you have to apply for membership or be nominated) but this time the posts were public.

-snip-

-snip-

Okay, I was invited to the Trainspotting group, started by Zinjifar, at the beginning (after all the bannings). I was there for about a week until I decided I wanted no part of anything that was negative about Emma at all. I also didn't have time for it (and still don't).

-snip-

Can you shed any light on the group called "Ex Scientology Message Bored" ?

Since these obscure places are not easily accessible to me, I tend to forget about them easily, but since we're on the topic, I thought I'd ask.

 

[Sindy]

-snip-



Can you shed a light on the group called "Ex Scientology Message Bored" ?

It was not initiated by Zinj. It was initiated by No Zeno. I got the groups confused. I didn't equate the two happenstances but what the hell do I know? I am ever surprised at the supposed hidden intentions of just about everything that has anything to do with Scientology and that's why I want nothing to do with it.

There were about 10 groups that I was added to (not by my asking) that had to do with Scientology or ex-Scientology. Many of these "groups" have the same postings in them as people post their stuff on all of them at the same time.

I can barely keep up with all the stuff.

Frankly, I got discouraged after the whole Karen "debacle" and started seeing a whole lot of politics there too and I did gain a certain needed perspective on that by observing some communication in this "trainspotting" group.

It would be nice if I had the freedom to glean whatever I can from all communications and to be free to have my own private knowing about these things without being lumped into being thought of as having a certain "mindset" or "think" but, alas, that doesn't seem possible.

The only way possible seems to step away from the subject all together.

 

[Veda]

-snip-

It would be nice if I had the freedom to glean whatever I can from all communications and to be free to have my own private knowing about these things without being lumped into being thought of as having a certain "mindset" or "think" but, alas, that doesn't seem possible.

-snip-

You do have the freedom. However, there's no way to control what people think about one's "mindset." People think all kinds of things.

 

[anonomog]

Sindy, I don't understand why you are so angry.
I don't belong to the groups mentioned so feel like I've walked into a room where everyone knows what is going on except me - you know the keep checking to make sure my skirt isn't tucked into my knickers type feeling.

Have you been attacked because of your fb affiliation or your esmb affiliation?

I understand Emma has been hurt, I also understand that she has had one helluva few months and wanted to quit for a long while now. Maybe Emma might not have made the decision under different circumstances, but I just see it as a last straw.
I could be way way off base, but I am just reading here.

If you don't mind me asking, why is it upseting you so badly, or is it like Emma, the final straw?

 

[Sindy]

Sindy, I don't understand why you are so angry.
I don't belong to the groups mentioned so feel like I've walked into a room where everyone knows what is going on except me - you know the keep checking to make sure my skirt isn't tucked into my knickers type feeling.

Have you been attacked because of your fb affiliation or your esmb affiliation?

I understand Emma has been hurt, I also understand that she has had one helluva few months and wanted to quit for a long while now. Maybe Emma might not have made the decision under different circumstances, but I just see it as a last straw.
I could be way way off base, but I am just reading here.

If you don't mind me asking, why is it upseting you so badly, or is it like Emma, the final straw?

^^^ Yes.

 

[Sindy]

You do have the freedom. However, there's no way to control what people think about one's "mindset." People think all kinds of things.

Yep, that's true.

 

[anonomog]

^^^ Yes.

Then all the best to you. I will miss you.
I have enjoyed seeing your progression out of the mind f, and I thank you for sharing it with us all.

 

[Tiger Lily]

OK. . . I don't know anything about what is going on here. I don't want to. It's not why I came to ESMB, and not why I stayed. I realize that there is a lot of hurt when people are trying to heal from a cult experience, and the people who had the idealism to get in and the fortitude to get out are strong personalities. There's a lot of distrust and injured egos. This kind of thing is bound to happen I guess; I could probably write pages on why I think this is inevitable. But it makes me want to scream.

In this case you have control over whether or not you subject yourself to it. Emma, I believe you are making a wise decision. For your own heath, sanity, joy, and for that of your family. I don't think it's a matter of being "driven off". I remember you trying to pass the baton before, so I know you've been wanting it for a long time. I know it was hard for you to give up your baby, but this may have been the catalyst you needed. You have nothing to apologize for. . . you didn't sign a billion year contract to run ESMB. If someone's willing to take it over, that's fantastic -- I hope that happens, but if not, it will be OK.

I think the "Ex-Scientologist" movement has hit critical mass, largely thanks to you. And now it's like a hydra -- you cut one head off, and 2 more will grow. There will be more message boards, more grass-roots groups, more whistleblowers on the front groups, more people educating lawmakers and schools. You have brought exes together and given us courage.

But, get yourself away from this ugliness. And don't feel bad about it. Don't allow yourself to think that "OSA won" -- they didn't, not at all. (you CLOBBERED them with this board). They may twist it that way -- let them. . . it'll be just one more of their lies and manipulations.

You have more friends across the globe than you probably realize, and you have made your mark in history. In the end, a few complainers throwing out insults as they lick their wounds means nothing.

 

[Magoo]

To Emma, re your Mum.....
and to ALL here, this is a good song to keep in your heart:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcjYoUUJ9sQ&feature=related



May our ESMB family stay close, no matter the venue and
always celebrate the love, friendships, memories we share.

Tory/Magoo
http://www.youtube.com/ToryMagoo44

PS: My Dad died suddenly when I was 22 and I began this view of
Celebrating his life at the funeral, when so many peeps came up to me
and said: "Your Dad *was* a great man". I beamed up, located him, and began:
"Thank you. He IS a great man!" (Whether you believe that or not, is your choice.
I could feel him Someone can still feel *me*)
He's helped me many times since, including waking up
and escaping out of $cientology.
My nick for him, as a kid, was "Magoo" (due to his tiny eyes like mine and his love
for funny movies, shows and keeping alive the lighter side of life)...so I always keep my memories of his
humor, strength and courage close by.

 

[Man de la Mancha]

I think the "Ex-Scientologist" movement has hit critical mass, largely thanks to you. And now it's like a hydra -- you cut one head off, and 2 more will grow. There will be more message boards, more grass-roots groups, more whistleblowers on the front groups, more people educating lawmakers and schools.

Will there be? It won't be easy to replace this board, and competing forums might just dilute the audience into oblivion. Once it's gone, there might never be anything like it again.

If I were Emma, I would run this board as a business. I'd hire someone to sell ads and run the board, maybe collect small membership fees if necessary. After expenses, I'd pocket the remainder as a just reward for my contributions and experience to date.

 

[Fancy]

I understand how you feel as I feel about the same way but I can see yours is far more than mine is.

I woke up a lot myself by reading and learning data.

Best to you.

 

[ethercat]

Re: keeping ESMB alive

That would be brilliant if something could be worked out on that.

It's moved into the discussion stage. Please don't expect any definite answers right away; there's a lot to be worked out.

 

[Magoo]

Re: keeping ESMB alive


It's moved into the discussion stage. Please don't expect any definite answers right away; there's a lot to be worked out.

I'm just happy to hear it's
"moved into the discussion stage".

Thanks, Ethercat!

Best and Happy week-end

Tory/Magoo

 

[Thrak]

OK. . . I don't know anything about what is going on here. I don't want to. It's not why I came to ESMB, and not why I stayed. I realize that there is a lot of hurt when people are trying to heal from a cult experience, and the people who had the idealism to get in and the fortitude to get out are strong personalities. There's a lot of distrust and injured egos. This kind of thing is bound to happen I guess; I could probably write pages on why I think this is inevitable. But it makes me want to scream.

In this case you have control over whether or not you subject yourself to it. Emma, I believe you are making a wise decision. For your own heath, sanity, joy, and for that of your family. I don't think it's a matter of being "driven off". I remember you trying to pass the baton before, so I know you've been wanting it for a long time. I know it was hard for you to give up your baby, but this may have been the catalyst you needed. You have nothing to apologize for. . . you didn't sign a billion year contract to run ESMB. If someone's willing to take it over, that's fantastic -- I hope that happens, but if not, it will be OK.

I think the "Ex-Scientologist" movement has hit critical mass, largely thanks to you. And now it's like a hydra -- you cut one head off, and 2 more will grow. There will be more message boards, more grass-roots groups, more whistleblowers on the front groups, more people educating lawmakers and schools. You have brought exes together and given us courage.

But, get yourself away from this ugliness. And don't feel bad about it. Don't allow yourself to think that "OSA won" -- they didn't, not at all. (you CLOBBERED them with this board). They may twist it that way -- let them. . . it'll be just one more of their lies and manipulations.

You have more friends across the globe than you probably realize, and you have made your mark in history. In the end, a few complainers throwing out insults as they lick their wounds means nothing.

That was the best post I've read in a while.

 

[scooter]

It was not initiated by Zinj. It was initiated by No Zeno. I got the groups confused. I didn't equate the two happenstances but what the hell do I know? I am ever surprised at the supposed hidden intentions of just about everything that has anything to do with Scientology and that's why I want nothing to do with it.

There were about 10 groups that I was added to (not by my asking) that had to do with Scientology or ex-Scientology. Many of these "groups" have the same postings in them as people post their stuff on all of them at the same time.

I can barely keep up with all the stuff.

Frankly, I got discouraged after the whole Karen "debacle" and started seeing a whole lot of politics there too and I did gain a certain needed perspective on that by observing some communication in this "trainspotting" group.

It would be nice if I had the freedom to glean whatever I can from all communications and to be free to have my own private knowing about these things without being lumped into being thought of as having a certain "mindset" or "think" but, alas, that doesn't seem possible.

The only way possible seems to step away from the subject all together.

Sindy, thanks for sharing this and a big thanks for all you have done by putting yourself out there publicly like you have since you arrived.

FWIW, I was ready to walk away when the whole debacle over Zinj, 'Lanzo etc happened ages ago. I spoke long to Emma on the phone about it. And stayed away from here for a while.

I was being characterized as a "dupe" because of my opinions and I knew I wasn't
that at all - just someone who had a lot of info that I couldn't in good conscience share publicly.

Sadly (for me) I've got connections and experiences that make me great media "talent" on this story about the cult. And so I get requests I can never turn down (stupid me) As much as I like helping people out and seeing justice done, I'd rather be watching my kids grow up and pottering around growing orchids or bird-watching. Things I do anyway but I'd much rather be doing than sitting at a keyboard or taking time out of my day for media or attorneys or politicians.

I'm heartily sick of the distracting "politics" that happen when some insane nut (in OSA or wherever) has to start a campaign against someone like Emma. And no amount of behind-the-scenes phone calls, emails and other communications can get that person to at least ease up on the destructive actions they are committing. Zinj is only ONE example of this. There have been others that I know of and probably many more I don't.

So I understand that you wanna walk away from it - I do too. I totally get Emma's wanting some peace and quiet from it too.

Maybe, just maybe, we all will be able to walk away soon - when the cult's down to its last few dozen flunkies and DM's on the run in an increasingly leaking DeathWinds somewhere near the Antarctic circle. Babbling about how many penguins now have been reached by PR campaigns or how many seals have finished their objectives in this latest summer before the ice closed in.

I'll miss ya, as will a lot of folks here.

Go enjoy life cult-free - you deserve it.

 

[Mimsey Borogrove]

Personally, I am hoping something fantastic happens in the late summer and Emma extends it for another year. So? I can dream can't I? Mimsey

 

[RogerB]

Aah, Scoots, that is a wonderful and moving post of yours above.

Yeh, I dig the sense of duty guys like you and many others [but not enough]) feel . . . and of course, our Emms is THE example of this.

I too have been pulled in other directions . . . but I kept my presence and posting on ESMB in-spite of ridicule by the "you know whats" because I wouldn't give the bastards the win of either affecting me or driving me off helping folks.

We who have the info really do have a duty to put it to use.

We have achieved so many wonderful successes, in spite of the idiot think and evil actions railed against us.

And having said that, I do believe a massive victory in curtailing the cult and its unrestricted evil ways is near at hand . . . . and then we can take off "to grow our orchids."

Rog

 

[IMMORTAL]

Emma,

I found ESMB by “accident” when I was looking for something else. There are so many subjects covered here, if one does a search for names of people or subjects, it’s quite possible they will pull up a link to ESMB.

I was still in my “almost too scared to look” phase when I first came here. Then, I started reading threads and stories and discussions of important topics about the tech, LRH, abuse, SO horror stories, public person horror stories….you name it.

It didn’t take long and I was addicted. Thinking back on it what I went through reminds me of a process I ran early on in Scientology. Something like “Look around here and find something you can have.” Something like this. Now, please bear with me. I know this is Scio speak but I’m trying to make a point. Anyway, I’d do as the auditor asked and look around for something I could have. In that process, of course, I would find something I could not have and would just stick that away somewhere and go on to find something I could have. Then, the process was switched to “Look around here and find something you cannot have.” Well, in an instant, all of these things that I could not have from the earlier process lighted up the room all around me. And I just had to laugh.

ESMB helped me do something like that. All those 35+ years I was in Scientology, I could only think about and speak about those things I could have and that other Scientologists could have. All the things I could not have were stuck away in some little corner or tucked away in some hole, well hidden, well covered and out of sight...for quite a while. I started pulling away from Scientology when some of these things started creeping out of their hiding places and I couldn’t keep them covered and hidden anymore without continuing to violate my integrity. Then, once I started reading ESMB and realized I was not alone in this, and read and listened to other people talk about the same things I had going on, all these things I could not have and could not speak about over the years that I had to hide, lit up and came together in my experience and made my trip through recovery much, much faster. I don’t even know how long it would’ve taken me to recover without ESMB.

Because of what I read on ESMB, I felt strong enough and armed enough to communicate with others about how I now felt and, as a result, found out they felt exactly the same way! In fact, I was the last one still in!!

So, ESMB has been a very important part of my life and recovery and this includes the people I am close to who also used to be Scientologists. I am certain ESMB is a huge thorn in Scientology’s side. Ha. Ha. And they would love to see it go bye bye.

I want to thank you from the bottom of my nearly recovered heart for all you have done to put ESMB here and keep it here for me and everyone who has come before and after me. Its healing properties are very unique and cannot be replaced.

Of course I understand you wanting to move on and I totally support you. You have made an incredible contribution to so many people for years and I can see it is time now for you to move on.

If there is a way to keep ESMB alive, I am willing to contribute in any way I can. It is a big, BIG pain for Scientology and a big, BIG, BIG help for people on the way out and recovering. I would like to see it be here for others yet to leave or who have just left and are in the healing phase. I would like to see it continue to be here for the wonderful group of people I find on this board, which keeps me coming back to it day in and day out. There are heavy discussions and light discussions, serious ones and fun ones. It’s a wonderful group for me and I enjoy participating, even if I don’t post every day.

I personally know how much it has helped me and my loved ones.

Thank you again, Emma.

IM