I'm not good with pm's - Please forgive me or correct me!

Carmel

Crusader
I'm slack when it comes to answering pm's - I feel bad about it, but I haven't been able to "fix" it.

Whether it's pm's or emails, I read them, and I'm often touched by them, but then I don't just wanna slap back a quick "PR" type reply, so I leave it, thinking I'll reply when I have free attention to do so, or can put the words together to show how I feel - But then time goes by, it's too late, and it doesn't happen. :duh:

I can "post" stuff ok, 'cause that's not so personal, but I've never really been in to 'letters' so to speak, and I have always found it hard to communicate what I really feel 'in writing', so I tend to put it off - I'd rather talk, or meet in real life.

This is causing 'problems' for me, in that some have thought that I don't care for or appreciate their comm, because I haven't responded - Eeek!

The thing is, if I took the time to respond as I would want to (with the 'mindset' required for me to do so), it'd take so much time that I tend not to even go there - then I'm in the poo, with myself as well as with some of you.

My dilemma is this - I often feel that I can't just flick back a quick response; when your communication has meant something to me; when I want you to know that; and when I have something in my mind which I would like to convey - but then I often don't get the the time nor the mindset to send the response that I'd want to, and then because of the absence of response, the wrong idea is given at the other end. :ohmy:

If I responded to every written communication I received (the way I wanted to, but then being limited to doing so 'in writing'), it would not allow me time for anything else in life - so I tend not to (or that's what I tell myself :nervous: ).

Crikey! Does anyone else have this problem, and do any of you understand this? - Or am I just a bloody slack bitch? (probably am! :eyeroll: )
 

Panda Termint

Cabal Of One
Nobody else in the entire Universe has a problem with this. You obviously are (your own words) "a bloody slack bitch".
Don't you realise that all these incomplete cycles of communication will haunt you into eternity? Answer up, or be damned! :)
PS: I bet you used to throw the contents of your Pending Tray into the trash every now and then! :lol:
 

Tiger Lily

Gold Meritorious Patron
Carmel I get that totally! :yes: I'm terrible about it too, and it's a problem off the board too, I think I have 400 emails in my inbox that I marked as unread because they need attention of some kind. My sisters are about to kill me and many of my friends have stopped communicating. I don't understand either, why it's easier for me to post here; but I have suspected for a while that it's because of what you said, that I want to give my personal responses the respect they are due and that requires a block of time and attention that I never feel like I have.

Are you a perfectionist by any chance? :wink2:

-TL
 

Carmel

Crusader
Nobody else in the entire Universe has a problem with this. You obviously are (your own words) "a bloody slack bitch".
Don't you realise that all these incomplete cycles of communication will haunt you into eternity? Answer up, or be damned! :)
Oh shit! Me just 'bad' then! :hide:

PS: I bet you used to throw the contents of your Pending Tray into the trash every now and then! :lol:
Not the pending tray, no, - just the metres of daily telexes (on occasion) that never got anywhere near the pending tray. :coolwink:
 

Div6

Crusader
Scientology can help you with that!

:spacecraft:

You should read "How to Live though an Executive" except, oh, wait......you can't!
 

Carmel

Crusader
Carmel I get that totally! :yes: I'm terrible about it too, and it's a problem off the board too, I think I have 400 emails in my inbox that I marked as unread because they need attention of some kind. My sisters are about to kill me and many of my friends have stopped communicating. I don't understand either, why it's easier for me to post here; but I have suspected for a while that it's because of what you said, that I want to give my personal responses the respect they are due and that requires a block of time and attention that I never feel like I have.

Are you a perfectionist by any chance? :wink2:

-TL
Ah thanks TL - happy to hear that I'm not the only one! :D

Yeah - On the one had I can be a perfectionist - I can see a 5 ml difference on a beam from the floor to the ceiling (when nobody else seems to see it), and it'll bug the hell out of me - but then on the other hand I can completely ignore the weeds in the garden which I should be dealing with! :whistling:

I'm shocking with my admin too (records and taxes). Oh my! My hubby doesn't get it - but nor do I!
 

Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
Hey Carmie,

My attitude is that I prefer to say whatever I have to say openly, so that anyone can read it, and it is preserved. Mostly, anyway. Sometimes if I have spent a long time on a PM in response to someone I will copy it and post it too — not the PM to me but my response. It seems a waste to restrict all that effort to one person if it may be of wide interest.

I do write PMs if needed, and keep up to date with them, but don't usually spend a lot of time at them. Sometimes, but not usually.

Paul
 

auntpat

Patron with Honors
You're thee lucky ones

I keep up to date on all my e-mails, don't get many pms. This is because I am 74 years old and live in senior housing. Am in a wheel chair so don't get out very often. Many days about all I do is eat, sleep, read a little, and handle my mail. Other than that I get on this site and read all the stories and posts and answer when I find it appropriate. Just be glad that you have so much to do and that your friends can understand your priorities.:yes:
 

Wisened One

Crusader
I keep up to date on all my e-mails, don't get many pms. This is because I am 74 years old and live in senior housing. Am in a wheel chair so don't get out very often. Many days about all I do is eat, sleep, read a little, and handle my mail. Other than that I get on this site and read all the stories and posts and answer when I find it appropriate. Just be glad that you have so much to do and that your friends can understand your priorities.:yes:

Here, here! :thumbsup:
 

Lesolee (Sith Lord)

Patron Meritorious
If I responded to every written communication I received (the way I wanted to, but then being limited to doing so 'in writing'), it would not allow me time for anything else in life - so I tend not to (or that's what I tell myself :nervous: ).

Crikey! Does anyone else have this problem, and do any of you understand this? - Or am I just a bloody slack bitch?
You didn't give the option of both forgiving AND correcting you. :melodramatic:

In the first place you are "a bloody slack bitch"

I understand that you want to answer the comms appropriately, but if the result of this is no comm at all then that is just f*cked up. A PM is a comm just like any other. If you get no ack, just tumbleweed blowing across the comm lines, that is an ARCX waiting to happen.

For goodness sake change your consideration here and just give them an ack. You're a trained auditor -- TR2!

I forgive as many of your past non-communications as you can confront me forgiving. :happydance:

Changing considerations -- we did that already in Opening Procedure of 8C. Remember? Decide to put stuff somewhere, change your mind and put it somewhere else.

Well just decide that any ack is better than no comm at all. Even if the ack is "fuck off and die you bastard" that is arguably better than being ignored. :melodramatic:
 

FinallyFree

Gold Meritorious Patron
Carmel - you are too hard on yourself. Your sincerity comes through in your posts. What I have personally come to understand is that those I want to talk to are usually pretty damn busy and for very good reasons  (people like Magoo and BFG). No worries!
 

scooter

Gold Meritorious Patron
Carmel FWIW I have the same problem but not to the same extent.:yes:

I just try to get to everything asap but will send a message saying I'll get back when I have time.

Like right now it's very early morning, I'm eating breakfast at the computer and even the dogs next to the fire behind me are snoring - I really should get the hell out of here and go to work :D

I think it comes from the excitement of watching the cult fall - it's the best soap I've ever seen :thumbsup:

All else pales into insignificance while we work on that one :happydance:
 

Axiom142

Gold Meritorious Patron
Carmel,

I sympathise with you, I really do. I get huge amounts of ‘fan mail’ from female ESMBers and other women I have met. I have terrible problems trying to reply and keep up with all the requests for signed photos (and other things). :whistling:

Please don’t feel bad about this, I’m sure people understand. Personally, I would far rather you continue to spread the truth to those still caught up in the trap of Scientology. You have made a huge difference already and the effect that you have helped to create in Oz will hopefully reach out into the rest of the world like a flower opening to the first golden rays of truth.

You have nothing to apologise for, keep up the good work.

Axiom142
 

pollywannacracker

Patron Meritorious
Carmel,

You are doing just fine. The fact that it seems to bother you more than the members says quite a bit about your wonderful character.

Acks are fine, but with everything each of the members have going on oustide of the board, sitting glued to a computer just isn't full reality.

You are so sweet to be concerned, but I for one, have no problem with it.

Having said that :whip: MUSH!!!
 

Good twin

Floater
Oh my Carmel. This is just too funny. I get so confused about how to answer my PMs sometimes. I am rarely at a loss for words but sometimes I just get into a sort of "ack" mode. I don't want to do that so I (like you) save it until I can give it some real attention. Then it sort of "staledates" and it seems stupid to write back. I think it's the old 24 hour policy. You have to answer letters from CF quickly. I MUST rebel when I feel the compulsion to do this.

We really must learn to not beat ourselves up. You won't be sec checked or have your KRs culled ever again, Dear. We love ya when you answer and when ya don't just the same. :thumbsup:
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Oh my Carmel. This is just too funny. I get so confused about how to answer my PMs sometimes. I am rarely at a loss for words but sometimes I just get into a sort of "ack" mode. I don't want to do that so I (like you) save it until I can give it some real attention. Then it sort of "staledates" and it seems stupid to write back. I think it's the old 24 hour policy. You have to answer letters from CF quickly. I MUST rebel when I feel the compulsion to do this.

We really must learn to not beat ourselves up. You won't be sec checked or have your KRs culled ever again, Dear. We love ya when you answer and when ya don't just the same. :thumbsup:

Yes, that's how it goes for me. I think ex staff really have this thing about answering immediately - 'speed of particle flow and all that'. Sometimes you need to sit back before you answer, but if you leave it too long it does seem outdated. And the other is that everything has to be answered.

One of my solutions is to only read a PM when I am in the mood to reply - if I can bear to wait to see what was said that is. The other is to let the person know it was received (I hate that word "ack"!) and will get back to them if I am not in the head space for thinking right then. If it's just an information exchange, there's no rush. If there is a present time situation, then they get priority. If you write to someone more than once and get no reply at all....well it can feel funny and you wonder why. I prefer emails to PMs anyway, the boundaries there seem more loose. :) It's an interesting subject.
 
Hello. My real name is not really Degraded Being. I just use that to be humble.
Actually I am God.

I am here to tell you that IT IS OK.
If you have had niggly naggly dangly bits of angst, hanging around like cobwebs that you can't quite see and can't get rid of,

:) Don't worry.:)

:) :) :) It is OK.:) :) :)

:) :) :) Just relax.:) :)

:) :) :) People love you and they don't mind.:) :)

:) :) Just put your feet into a nice big bowl of water and relax:) :) :) .

:) :) :) And have a nice cup of tea.:) :) :)

:) :) :) And have a Toke.:) :) :)

:) :) :) Let go.:) :) :)

:) :) :) Just let go of it Carmel.:) :) :)

:) :) :) You can choose to use a simple affirmation.:) :) :)

:) :) :) "I am peaceful and I don't mind":) :) :)

:) :) :) You may choose a blue-er collar version.:) :) :)

:) :) :) "I don't give a fuck about anything":) :) :)

:) :) :) Just visualize your angst floating away from you,:) :) :)

:) :) :) float..ing f.l.o.a.t.i.n.g f..l..o..a..t..i..n..g..... a...w....a....y.............

:) :) :) Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........d...a..t..s.....b...e...t...t...e...r:) :) :) :)
 
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