"IMAGINE" ... a short bedtime story

Mrs Pattycake

Patron with Honors
A short bedtime story. Please note ; the characters and circumstances in this story are completely ficticious. Any resemblence to any real life person(s) or circumstance(s) is purely coincidental and should not be taken to be representative of them.

Besides this story is so ridiculous no one would possibly believe it anyway.




IMAGINE

Imagine ... there was a new type of motor vehicle, which was promoted as not only the fastest and most modern car ever built, but it was actually indestructible. It would never rust or breakdown, nor need any repair, because an incredible inbuilt sensor would automatically avoid accidents. Best of all, this extraordinary vehicle did all of this with so very little effort it virtually ran on pure air, making it the most super energy efficient vehicle ever known to man. This was the absolute BEST car money could buy.

Of course its high tech construction and engineering were all highly confidential but it claimed, that it was scientifically proven, to be so dramatically superior to any other road vehicle that it was THE car that would SAVE the planet and that ALL mankind should own one.

Imagine ... that you believed this marketing fluff and actually bought one of these cars despite the fact that they were ridiculously expensive – because you felt the that the planet needed to be saved and you had to do your bit.

Imagine ... when you got the car home, you found out it did not run that well. In fact it didn’t seem to go any faster than your cheap old car and it seemed to drink about as much fuel. So you rang the company you bought it from to complain.

The salesman at the office explains that whilst you have purchased this superior vehicle, there are a few added extras that you omitted to buy that are required to achieve the ultimate motor vehicle driving experience. Feeling a little befuddled you listen to the rather complex story and realise that there is more to this than you first realised …and somehow you purchase a package of added extras at a special package deal price.

You go home and fit all of these “extras” and take the car out for another spin. Whilst it appears to go a little better it is nowhere near the level of your expectation, it is still drinking a lot of fuel and now it’s blowing a bit of smoke. You call up to see what is going on.

You are told that you obviously have not applied the new bits and pieces correctly so you need to take the vehicle in and have this professionally corrected. There will of course be a small charge ... which turns out to be a little bit larger than you were expecting.

Finally you get back in the car and take off. Only to find it has developed an odd clunking noise ! So you call again. This time you are told that the problem is you aren’t driving it properly - so you need to come in and have some special driver training. The driver training is exclusive to them and so it is a little expensive, but you pay for it because hey, it is, after all, going to be worth it to drive this fabulous car.

Unfortunately you have to go to the driver training every night from 7 pm till 10 pm and all day on the weekend till 6 pm, without any time off or being late for any reason. Ok it’s a bit inconvenient … but it is going to be worth it – even if you do miss your work’s big end of financial year bash and your mother’s birthday lunch.

Now you have completed the course but before you are allowed home you have to see the salesman . He explains that whilst you have bought yourself the most modern and best car available there are some new features which can be retro fitted that will enable you to really achieve the dreams you had when you originally purchased it.

A bit bewildered you explain that you have not yet achieved anything like your original expectations. Oops … you loose your cool and the salesman realises that you think there is something wrong with their product – you apparently did not know that the only problems you have experienced so far were due to your own incompetence. You obviously missed something very important on that driver training course! You are quickly transferred to the complaints department.

Here you are locked in a small room with a very stern person sitting opposite you. Many strange questions are being asked about what you are doing with your car. You begin to feel very uncomfortable and soon realise that the only way out is to buy the retro fit package – in an explosion of enthusiasm you announce this and are immediately taken back to the salesman with your credit card.

You finally get your car back after a few weeks wait. The delays in the upgrading of your vehicle were due to the lack of highly trained professionals who could actually do the work and the overwhelming large demand for this sensational new product.

Ok, so you set off for a drive and whilst your car is not actually zooming along you do start to feel that it is going a fair bit faster and the clunk is definitely not as frequent. You drive around for a while convincing yourself that it is very good.

All of a sudden you look ahead and realise that the car in front has come to a sudden halt – you apply the brakes but they fail, your vehicle plows into the vehicle ahead seriously damaging both.

You go back to the company to complain, there is something seriously wrong and this time you ask to see someone in charge. The manager comes over with a team of his experts to hear your tale of woe. They all listen and nod and feel your every frustration as you re-tell of the issues you’ve had and are still having with your car. Then when you have finished the manager very calmly explains the whole situation.

You see some incompetent typist at the car assembly plant did not understand some of the words in the assembly manual she was typing and so she incorrectly substituted them for another word. Not only that, her evilness stooped to even lower levels when she went to the photocopier and some pages fell on the floor and she got all muddled up and put them back in the wrong order !

What a catastrophe! The high tech construction and modern engineering were applied incorrectly leading to flubbed vehicles and the whole future of the planet was put at risk due to an evil bumbling twit in the typing pool!

However, after painstakingly going through the original draft manual the manager has been able to put together the actual correct version. All new manuals have been forwarded to the factory who are now putting out absolutely 100% standard correct vehicles.

So what needs to happen now? … Well you see the car you purchased was not correct and is no longer of any use, in other words a write off. Thus you actually need to re purchase a brand new car as now they are coming off the production line correctly. And for a limited time only you can save on the re purchase price!

What? You can’t believe what you hear. They want you to re buy the same ridiculously expensive car even though they stuffed it up in the first place. Your objection is noted and the manager hands you over to one of his experts to help find a solution to the problem at hand.

This fellow carefully explains the complex nature of dealing in such high tech field and the difficulty in finding good, honest, reliable and intelligent people who also have the same goal of saving the planet. In a sudden brainwave he has an idea….there is another option… you can come and work at the car assembly plant! You see if the staff at the plant reach the set production targets …then they all receive their own brand new car for FREE!

Of course he forgets to mention that you have to work more than 12 hours a day, 6 days a week and on the 7th day you get a few hours off to do your laundry. You will get paid a whole $ 50 a week if your production is more than last week. You will receive free room and board, well that is what they call sleeping in a room floor to ceiling with bunk beds more tightly jammed together than in a prison cell and meals of beans and rice for breakfast lunch and dinner!

You somehow excuse yourself from this meeting and catch a cab home in total confusion and disbelief. No sooner have you arrived home and the phone rings. It’s someone from the car sales office asking you to come back in urgently – they have the CEO of the factory coming over to speak with you – he will be able to sort things out. Much relieved you catch a cab back.

Once there you are taken into a very luxurious office. An important looking man followed by an entourage of staff join you. He once again listens to your tale of woe and determines that you need the full special and highly confidential briefing which is only give to very special and important customers.

He and his team proceed to show you a lengthy slick DVD presentation about the corrupt nature of the motor vehicle and fuel industries – these two partners in crime, assisted by bribed government officials have led the entire world down this suppressive path and the whole agonising future of the planet depends upon this new proto type car getting up and running, so that man can once again breath fresh air and walk with his head high.

You are an integral part of this plan because YOU have the knowledge, and the integrity to Do something about it. So all you need to do …is to open your cheque book and write a cheque, not only for a new car, but also a sizable donation to the organisation to ensure its survival. For this, you will be acknowledged as a founding benefactor and your name will be placed on a special plaque which will be hung in the organisation’s board room as a permanent reminder of your incredible dedication.

Their presentation continues as you sip the expensive coffee and nibble the fine chocolates that have been served. Your potential glowing accomplishment is already being hailed as a godsend and you are a demigod amongst men for having the foresight and commitment to such a vital, in fact planet saving plan. Your name will be forever engraved in history for your children and grandchildren to see. In a rush of excitement, after voluminous amounts of ego patting, you decide it is your duty and proudly hand over your platinum AMEX with no credit limit in a bid to confront and handle the suppression of which you feel privileged to have been briefed about.

The CEO warmly shakes your hand and leads you out of the office and down to the impeccable reception area. He uses the intercom to muster the staff for an urgent meeting. He announces your wondrous achievement and presents you with the keys to your new car. The entire staff stand and clap, giving you a standing ovation worthy of your incredible effort.

You acknowledge their gratitude and modestly explain that it was the least you could do. You proudly set off in your new vehicle – you are certain that it is the absolute BEST vehicle that money can buy!




The years toddle by and you have been happily driving around in your “ultimate” driving machine. Whilst it’s not really that fast nor actually very fuel efficient, you still know you have done the right thing. The vehicles regular six monthly check ups are getting a little expensive, but hey, it’s all part of the commitment to maintaining this incredible machine. You know that in the not too distant future the company will launch the Quantum RX9 &10 package – the missing technology that will truly make this vehicle everything you had ever dreamt of.

Then …one day you are sitting outside the car dealership, waiting patiently whilst your car is having its regular six month check. A small crowd of people approach the building. They are all wearing the same strange looking mask, they are anonymous. They all carry placards ...

“Beware the Emperor’s New Car.”



...
 
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namaste

Silver Meritorious Patron
How dare he take a few hours off on his 7th workday to do his laundry?
No wonder he's having so many problems.
 

Opter

Silver Meritorious Patron
Great story.:thumbsup:

I would have never guessed it had anything to do with the upper OT levels of Scientology.:no:

After the GAT was announced at a very posh event . my husband said that it was like they sold him a defective car,trying to tell him all along it was perfect,and then- at the GAT event - they wanted him to purchase a new car instead. He was told that what he said was a Ser fac=Service Facsimilie ( trying to make yourself right and other wrong).:omg::duh:

Opter
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation
Originally posted by Mrs Pattycake

snipped


Then …one day you are sitting outside the car dealership, waiting patiently whilst your car is having its regular six month check. A small crowd of people approach the building. They are all wearing the same strange looking mask, they are anonymous. They all carry placards ...



Would that be the point where you joyously drive to the closest cliff and send the car straight over the edge with an almighty crash ... and finally start to relax again and use a simpler and cheaper and more honest mode of transport ... like a bike or a pair of skates or your own two feet?

Lol ... lovely post Mrs P.

:anon:

:cake:
 

Mrs Pattycake

Patron with Honors
Great story.:thumbsup:

I would have never guessed it had anything to do with the upper OT levels of Scientology.:no:

After the GAT was announced at a very posh event . my husband said that it was like they sold him a defective car,trying to tell him all along it was perfect,and then- at the GAT event - they wanted him to purchase a new car instead. He was told that what he said was a Ser fac=Service Facsimilie ( trying to make yourself right and other wrong).:omg::duh:

Opter

HEY OPTER - THAT IS SO FUNNY !

I wrote this because I was thinking how nuts it would be if a car dealership actually treated you like this ! How totally insane it is ... and yet we put up with it for years on end.

The only reason Scientology is still going at all is because of its religious cloaking. Without that it would of been shut down decades ago by consumer advocacy organisations.

Whilst we now discover there are abuses at the top ... DM punches his staff -that is just the tip of the iceberg. The crimes are far more pervasive, in fact the whole organisation has been built on defrauding and coercing people from the very start and that is what must be fully exposed ... not just DM's violent outbreaks.

..
 

Shredder

Patron with Honors
Great Mrs Pattycake

That was so funny - so good to look at the scam that way - without even mentioning it - clever analogy Mrs Pattycake..and very entertaining , thank you!
 

dchoiceisalwaysrs

Gold Meritorious Patron
Good imagination Mrs Pattycake:thumbsup:

If I was the owner of the NEW CAR plant, I would put movies stars in them and drive them around town. Then I would recruit 200, 000 volunteers who would go around the world polishing other cars with shamie's to prove that we were a beneficent company and that other car companies made bad cars in the past so we are allowed to do it too. And should anyone still object we would just point out we are protected by the NEW CAR RELIGION and can thus operate with impunity. Besides 8,000,000 NEW CAR OWNERS prove that we are the fastest growing CAR company in the world.
 

Opter

Silver Meritorious Patron
I wrote this because I was thinking how nuts it would be if a car dealership actually treated you like this ! How totally insane it is ... and yet we put up with it for years on end.

The only reason Scientology is still going at all is because of its religious cloaking. Without that it would of been shut down decades ago by consumer advocacy organisations.

Whilst we now discover there are abuses at the top ... DM punches his staff -that is just the tip of the iceberg. The crimes are far more pervasive, in fact the whole organisation has been built on defrauding and coercing people from the very start and that is what must be fully exposed ... not just DM's violent outbreaks.

..





Spot on :thumbsup:

Opter
 

Emma

Con te partirò
Administrator
I've used the "new car" analogy a few times when arguing with the ex about Scientology. I think it's a great analogy. It really shows the insanity of what Scn gets away with.

This is a fabulous story Vicki. I'm going to send it to every Scientologist I know. It's really well written and logically thought out.

Thanks!!
 
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