ROUTING OFF STAFF OF MIAMI ORG
After the fall of the Mighty Miami Org and living through the ensuing nightmare, about six months later I went back to my own doubts about being on staff. After much personal debate, I decided I was going to route off staff. There were many factors in my decision – I didn’t feel comfortable enough with the tech to fetch hundreds of dollars an hour for my services, no outside life, no girlfriend, no money, no end in sight!
Just one example, amongst others, that made me not want to be on staff
There was a guy who scraped together every spare dime he had to get Life Repair. I had studied with him in the academy on some course while he did a basic course and got to know him. He worked, non-union, on oil rigs making like $6 an hour. He was married and his wife can’t believe he spent a couple thousand dollars to get Life Repair. No Reg had told him one intensive (12.5 hours) of auditing probably wasn’t going to be enough. Guess he’d have so many wins he would “make it go right” to finish his Life Repair program. He had read DMSMH and did a basic course and was regged to buy one intensive. Basically, he and his wife’s entire savings. He was so green (new) that he had read about touch assists and had tried to give himself one. So, this guy has a PTP – a present time problem, his wife didn’t want him to spend their savings. He was so blown away by reading Dianetics, that he did anyways. So, he is told he is PTS (a Potential Trouble Source due to his wife being antagonistic) that he needed something before his Life Repair. Not a PTS/SP course in the academy but a PTS/CS1 in session! That is, he would get indoctrinated about Suppressive Persons and being connected to them (PTS) for hundreds of dollars an hour. So, I’m the auditor and told the D of P that this isn’t what the guy should be doing, he doesn’t have any other money, that he won’t get wins enough on it to keep going, etc. Well, I was being CI! (counter-intention) I was young and naïve and didn’t keep my integrity and took him in session anyway. If I could go back now, I’d love to go back there, tell the D of P to f*ck off and walk out. We must have burned through most of his 12.5 hours (he thought he would fix his life and be super happy and able after Life Repair) on PTS/CS1 and SCN/CS1 (indoctrinated into basics of Scientology and auditing). About a month later, he was routing through on a refund cycle. I was happy for him getting his money back but of course I was quite sad that I helped damn him for the rest of eternity – no bridge. I was of course, partially responsible. Now, I do feel responsible – and it feels better.
THINGS THAT SHOULDN’T BE
Okay, I lied. Here’s a few other examples.
This same D of P a few months later had a notice put up on the Org bulletin board by the Ethics Officer. It was a non-enturbulation order (don’t stir the soup, please). He was married to another staff member. It said he had been TALKING TO HIS WIFE about when his contract was over that he didn’t want to be on staff and basically wanting to see what she wanted to do, too. You know, discussing life plans with his life partner. Being the good little staff member, she wrote a knowledge report to Ethics about her husband. You can’t talk about leaving staff (even if your contract will be over) otherwise, it’s violating the policy about Leaving and Leaves – if you talk about leaving you can be Declared. Okay, that’s crazy in itself. But now everyone in the Org knows the D of P wants to route off staff after his contract is up. Gotta love policy.
There was the annual Auditor’s night event. Being a staff auditor, it should have been fun and free food. Oops; sorry. I had an out of town PC and had to take him in session that Saturday night instead. All right; that’s fine. To Clear the planet and all. I found out later from someone at the event, that all staff auditors were given a little bonus. Some more than others based on WDAH (well done auditing hours the year before). I think the most was $75 or so. I asked about it afterwards. I was told by I think the LC (LRH Communicator for Org) that I should have gotten $25 but the bonus money envelopes disappeared. When I whined about it (not a fortune but $25 for a staff member was a real bonus in 1982), I was told in unkind words, that it wasn’t her fault (although she was in charge of the money) and that I should have been there to get it. WTF?
A female staff member that was married and had a two year old son decided to do something for “the greatest good for the greatest number”. She was offered a position at FOLO (a higher up Org in New York that helped run lower Orgs - Flag Operations Liason Office). So she divorced her husband and left her two year old with him to raise in Miami so she could run off to New York. And both Miami and FOLO agreed this was okay. BTW, just a few years ago, I saw that this kid who had been abandoned by his mother was a grown up Sea Org member at Flag. To me, this is so, so sad – that a mother could do this and that Scientology simply didn’t care. I know the Dad and he was always a really nice guy. But I’m sure while he was on staff he didn’t spend much time with his son – and I’m sure the son went into the Sea Org pretty young.
There was another staff member of several years, who I think was mildly retarded, very short, overweight and looked like he had some slight case of Down’s syndrome or something. He did some sort of MEST post – fairly simple tasks. Nice guy but no clue how he was qualed for staff and certainly he was never going to move up the bridge. I heard he inherited a little money from his mom – or she gave it to him or something. What did he do? Of course, bought some auditing! He was in his early twenties and never had a girlfriend. He was getting life repair and there was one thing they had him do. Since his ruin was still being a virgin, the auditor (not me) had to get some pictures of naked women from a Playboy magazine or something. She put the pictures up on the meter shield and he had to do “reach and withdraw” (touching and letting go of the pictures with his hands) with these pictures in session – paying hundreds of dollars an hour to do so. Maybe some can argue this was good; to me, it was absurd to use good money looking at porn in session.
It’s easy to look back at all of these things and see how ridiculous or sad or crazy they were. At the time, I just assumed I didn’t know enough about life to properly evaluate them or figured I’d understand as I went further up the bridge or something. The one about the abandoned little boy really bothered me - and still does.
Actually routing off staff
I told the correct terminal (can’t remember who – Ethics officer maybe?) that I wanted to route off staff. This was in February of 1983. I was taken off post right away and started to do MEST work around the Org and other tasks. Of course, I couldn’t tell anyone I was routing off staff but it was obvious something was up. One of the steps was to get a confessional by a staff auditor. Now, looking back I was extremely lucky – I got one after about two months of painting, cleaning and doing other work around the Org. I had been persistent and got an auditor. I got it done within a few sessions. I had my comm. Ev (committee of evidence – an “impartial hearing” by staff members to apply justice). Whenever someone routes off staff, they have to get a comm. Ev. Again, looking back I was lucky to get one within a month or so. The staff members of the committee were not happy. This had to be done after post at night. Instead of going home by 10:30 p.m., they had to stay until after midnight.
BEST FRIENDS FOR LIFE
There were many charges on my Comm. Ev. One of them said, “financial irregularities”. I had no idea what this could have been. I didn’t get to see specific charges or evidence; just generalities until my “trial”. The financial irregularities were I had left a bank statement laying out in MY APARTMENT amongst MY personal things. The Knowledge report had been written up by one of my roommates of about two years. It said I had over $800 in the bank. That was my financial irregularity. I guess staff members weren’t allowed to have money. In all fairness, my committee of peers pretty much just shook their heads and dismissed that ridiculous charge. The point is that my roommate turned on me because I was routing off staff and tried to find something to get me in trouble. I mean, we had been friends and roommates for two years! We had gotten along good and liked each other. Geesh.
HAPPY TIMES - sort of
I was doing MEST work (RPF) for about four months before I eventually left – more on that in a bit. But, looking back, it was some of the best times I ever had on staff. The other folks I worked with were also trying to route off staff. They were just as happy and relieved as I was, too. The work wasn’t bad, I didn’t feel the weigh of the entire uncleared planet on my shoulders so it was almost fun hanging out with fellow staff members painting and such. But I was so ready to move on with my life. I did feel like I was a prisoner waiting for my release.
The end of endless routing off staff routing form
Well, my confessional was done, my Comm. Ev was done (which basically didn’t say anything – just that I was routing off staff – no particular recommendations – strange), I knew my Freeloader debt – about $14,500. Later reduced for one complete year of staff contract by 20%. Why wasn’t I free to go? I never got the okay to leave. I don’t quite remember exactly what steps were left to do but it stalled.
Then I read a FOLO (from NY) newsletter. In it, some hot shot exec talked about people who were trying to route off staff. He stated that, “…anyone trying to route off staff will either decide to get back on post or will be Declared”. No sheet. I’m not lying. How many policies does that violate? But I looked at it with a sense of relief, not doom. I knew this long game of routing off was coming to an end. I know, I know – it took some people five years trying to route off – only to be Declared anyways. Around the same time, I had been TR3ing the LC about my routing form. I had been stalled for no apparent reason and it was in her hands. Now, I don’t remember if it was part of her hat as an LC or if she was holding some other post from above. Anyways, she wrote a report to Ethics and next thing I know I was talking to the E/O. He wrote the following order, I am quoting it, too. I saved it for all these years – it was my prison release papers – 13 June 1983.
“[Tookmeawhile] is to report to FOLO. He is not to put any enturbulation on staff or public. He has a time machine of 1 week to be up there. He is not to be in the Org for any reason. Chief E/O for CMO Missionaire.”
For some reason, I wasn’t too concerned about being Declared. No, I didn’t report to FOLO. I mean, I had DONE the routing form. This order was my ticket to freedom! Basically, the Org said they were done with me. Oh and go to FOLO. Yeah, right.
I had my car, about four boxes of personal items along with some clothes and of course, if you were paying attention, my $800.00. I had to pack up my stuff while my two roommates were on post. It didn’t take too long. I left them a note saying thank you and goodbye, paid rent through end of the month and I hit the road!
I won’t make this part too long. I just have to try to convey how it felt to be free!!!! Only a staff member can know how it feels to be off staff. I was 22 years old, no idea about my future or anything. I was heading back home to Chicago to live with my sister until I found a place to live. Thanks, sis! I stayed there three weeks then got my own place. Oh…my…God – my own place! The first time in my life. And it was after two years on staff. It took me a little while to find a job but I enjoyed the heck out of life. I didn’t really do anything. I destimmed. Oh how good it felt. No staff meetings, constant work or study or anything. I could just be and chill. Ahh…
One time, about a month into my decompression cycle, my phone rang. It was the Ethics Officer from Miami Org. I could hear the background noises of the Org. Phones ringing, people talking, etc. It was like I was right there. That sick feeling came over me – and yet it felt good. I knew I was here and that was there. He asked me how I was doing and that I needed to start paying off my freeloader’s debt. He wasn’t mean but not particularly nice. Kind of cold - he was just doing his job. I remember reading some policy that as long as you at least make an attempt to pay it off, they won’t send it to a collection agency. I don’t know how true that was, but I sent them $50. A small price for freedom. After I hung up, the sense of relief was even stronger. It was still there (the Org and that life) – and I was here. Over a thousand miles away!