Hatshepsut
Crusader
Its time to leave Scientology when you find it has all been run on "somebody else" because another's reads were bigger than yours...and you've now been demoted to second in command.
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It's time to leave Scientology when....
- Thread starter HelluvaHoax!
- Start date
Its time to leave Scientology when you find it has all been run on "somebody else" because another's reads were bigger than yours...and you've now been demoted to second in command.
HelluvaHoax!
Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
Its time to leave Scientology when you find it has all been run on "somebody else" because another's reads were bigger than yours...and you've now been demoted to second in command.
LOLOLOLOL And I thought I was the only one that was having out ethics BT's.
Those bastards wouldn't do anything I told them. All I got was a lot of CI, OI and Flashback when I told them to find their MU's on Command Intention (which would be me, right?). I tried everything.
Eventually I began wearing a Commodore's outfit and tried Chinese Schooling them with a lot of HipHipHoorays but nothing was working.
They didn't give a crap about the Overboards and screaming at them about their Eternity just make them laugh like aliens in glee.
What to do?
I assigned the lot of them lowers and they telepathically communicated "Fuck You!" back to me in the theta universe.
Wrote a shitload of KR's but didn't know where to send them.
Today I cogged on a handling and told them all to mock up gray rags and wear them and run everywhere they went. I am pretty sure they will come right now.
If anyone else has any other advice or Successful BT Actions, please let me know.
ML
HelluvaHoax!
Hatshepsut
Crusader
HH, knock it off with the voodoo shit!
Hatshepsut
Crusader
Tell em they're all going to be given parts in a movie. Corral em up. March em down to a Hollywood sperm bank where the celebrities store their eggs etc. Let em each choose a host. Then sit em on a bench to wait for a casting call... the role of a lifetime. Let them wait... They've probably been doing this anyway. Get Ridley Scott in there. He uses lots of extras, preferrably for a film where he shoots everyone out into space. (Oh I'm so ashamed of myself
)
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Watching and waiting
Patron
welcome aboard watching
Zinj
Thanks Mate !
HelluvaHoax!
Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
its time to leave Scientology when...
You are ordered to a mandatory event.
You are required to clap when a known violent liar takes the stage and informs you that a Hollywood actor is "the most dedicated Scientologist I know".
You are forced to show happiness when a sacred medal of freedom is awarded to the actor, even though it is a fake medal and the actor has not done anything.
You are expected to feel awe when the violent liar and the actor begin saluting and hugging each other in a cultic ritual of mutual and self-worship.
You are then forced to listen to the delusional Hollywood guy give you a crazed pep talk from pretended spiritual heights.
You are obligated to shout "yeahhhhhhh!" to the actor's patronizing exhortation:
At which time you realize that "this place" means the physical universe.
And "clean up" means to solve the overpopulation problem in your world by gathering up and transporting your space aliens away--the same exact thing that Xenu did 75 million years ago.
You are ordered to a mandatory event.
You are required to clap when a known violent liar takes the stage and informs you that a Hollywood actor is "the most dedicated Scientologist I know".
You are forced to show happiness when a sacred medal of freedom is awarded to the actor, even though it is a fake medal and the actor has not done anything.
You are expected to feel awe when the violent liar and the actor begin saluting and hugging each other in a cultic ritual of mutual and self-worship.
You are then forced to listen to the delusional Hollywood guy give you a crazed pep talk from pretended spiritual heights.
You are obligated to shout "yeahhhhhhh!" to the actor's patronizing exhortation:
"So what do you say, are we gonna clean this place up!!!"
At which time you realize that "this place" means the physical universe.
And "clean up" means to solve the overpopulation problem in your world by gathering up and transporting your space aliens away--the same exact thing that Xenu did 75 million years ago.
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HelluvaHoax!
Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
Tell em they're all going to be given parts in a movie. Corral em up. March em down to a Hollywood sperm bank where the celebrities store their eggs etc. Let em each choose a host. Then sit em on a bench to wait for a casting call... the role of a lifetime. Let them wait... They've probably been doing this anyway. Get Ridley Scott in there. He uses lots of extras, preferably for a film where he shoots everyone out into space. (Oh I'm so ashamed of myself
LOL 
Scientology version....
A L I E N S
In space no one can hear you F/N when you blow BT's.
On earth no one cares or even believes you.
In space no one can hear you F/N when you blow BT's.
On earth no one cares or even believes you.
HelluvaHoax!
Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
its time to leave Scientology when...
You are on the OT Levels, doing the most ethical, fun, exciting & wonderful thing that anyone has ever done in the history of the world.
But, you cannot share this miracle of happiness and immortality with anyone in the world.
Because....
It will irreparably harm their mind or kill their body from the "restim".
Weird, isn't it? If you tell someone what Scientology really is it will kill them?
And if you tell a Scientologist what Scientology really is, it will kill them as a Scientologist.
You are on the OT Levels, doing the most ethical, fun, exciting & wonderful thing that anyone has ever done in the history of the world.
But, you cannot share this miracle of happiness and immortality with anyone in the world.
Because....
It will irreparably harm their mind or kill their body from the "restim".
Weird, isn't it? If you tell someone what Scientology really is it will kill them?
And if you tell a Scientologist what Scientology really is, it will kill them as a Scientologist.
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HelluvaHoax!
Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
It's time to leave Scientology when...
You witness an accident and realize that.....
And when you stop your car and get out to help, you realize you are in the parking lot of the Org.
And as the victim begins to regain consciousness you find out they were in a terrible collision with a vehicle being driven by a priest.
And the vehicle is Scientology and the victim is you.
You witness an accident and realize that.....
"Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident, it's not like anyone else. As you drive past, you know you have to do something about it because you know you're the only one who can really help."
And when you stop your car and get out to help, you realize you are in the parking lot of the Org.
And as the victim begins to regain consciousness you find out they were in a terrible collision with a vehicle being driven by a priest.
And the vehicle is Scientology and the victim is you.
Carmel
Crusader
HelluvaHoax!
Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
Carmel
Crusader
ESMB = AUTHENTIC VOLUNTEER MINISTERS = JAWS OF LIFE
Oh Hoaxee, it sure bloody does!
HelluvaHoax!
Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
Oh Hoaxee, it sure bloody does!
Critics, Anon, Lurkers, Posters, Apostates, SP's UNITE!
Only in ScientologyWorld is it possible that the Evil, Suppressive, Anti-Social, Anti-Scientologist, Criminal, Psychotics on the internet turn out to be the nicest, most helpful, wonderful and loveliest people one could ever be lucky enough to meet.
And the folks that call themselves "Scientology Volunteer Ministers"......turn out to be the labels that they are attaching to all of their delusional, self-serving recriminations.
Commander Birdsong
Crusader
this was my knock-knock
it had the title "this one's for the hipsters"
and it got a good response
it had the title "this one's for the hipsters"
and it got a good response
Commander Birdsong
Crusader
Sis O' Sign
Patron with Honors
Same here... As I am reading the posts, all those moments are coming up... Tnx ya'll for this thread!
Just to mention a few moments (and I know you love stories
):It's time to leave Scientology when
- you meet OTs for the first time in your life and their leader, a very lovely person, looks up at you who are just at the very bottom of the Bridge, in a way that you feel sorry, pity etcetera for them, because you perceive they are begging for your help...
- your best friend, the loveliest, happiest, most theta girl on Earth, an extremely upstat and dedicated Scientologist in every regard, a loving and loved wife, a great friend for many, a model person for healthy living - dies from a brain tumor (that she has obviously pulled in and deserved), while sorting out her OT levels on Flag's lines (still miss you Jeannette Holenstein!!!
) - as a newly-wed couple, you are separated from your husband and almost put on RPF, because you got married without a CSW and were half an hour late from post (Wednesday morning), because one of your buddies invited the gang for a coffee at Sainsbury's, as your wedding party
- when MAA CMO (the very person responsible for the ethics of a whole continent
) yells at you that you are too uptone, you have to stop that- when you are looking at a cancer surgery, and a medical examination states that your tumor turned malignant while you were getting auditing at Flag, including Purif correction
- when an SO girl orders you on Facebook to delete XY from your friends, because she (an angel lady, a great artist, a personal friend and a colleague of yours) got an SP Declare (which you verify with your girlfriend and she has not) - this was the moment when I finally decided to step out, should have done it much earlier
Yeah, one more:
- when you hear about only those very few big celebs again and again who attribute their successes to Scientology (which is the product of Dianetics & Scientology through its 60 years), vs. the much longer list of famous persons who have left Scientology or even denied their connection with it
And to end off with a lighter note:
It's time to leave Scientology, when
- you are satisfied with your English you have gained from studying all those LRH materials (and from translating some of them...), and now you are pretty much confident even about things like where to put a comma
Sis O' Sign
Patron with Honors
The name of this thread is so funny. It reminds me of the "You're a redneck if you..." thingy.
Anyway, I should've left Scientology when this happened:
I'm on SS0 studying KSW #1 back in the 70s. There is a typo in the issue....something on the order of "teh" instead of "the". I pointed this out to the sup and the sup told me to look it up and clear my MU.
Oyyy!!! Same story! My first times in Scientology: the short and simple SSI took me month, because I couldn't stand the horribly amateurish translation, with the very poor grammar, commas missing a nd so giving different meanings to sentences, and all that -grammar was always one of my strongest subjects. And I had to spend my time with looking for my MUs, word clearing the text again and again, even with E-meter.
I should have blown, and it would have been justified by my MUs
