It's time to tell my story...

Thank You Nicole!

Hi Nicole!

Thank you very much for telling us your story here, your English was fine and it's good to have you write it in German for those who can speak that language.

Thanks also to Mr. Nobody for his good work in translating for all the other readers.

Where I live we have many examples of Scientology being "infiltrated" into local governments, businesses, law enforcement and groups. People are still asleep as to why this might be dangerous or a problem for the greater society, so I'm glad you have told us your story, Nicole.

I hope you and your family are living a very happy life now, free from Scientology...create a wonderful life for yourself, you can do it! :thumbsup:

I think your Father might have gotten some Scientology counselling to "end cycle", which may have influenced him to stop his medication and refuse lifesaving medical care. :no: We have many stories of others being influenced falsely in this way. OSA doesn't take care of it's own, OSA eats it's own. :grouch:

Let this be a warning and a wake up call to all those other current OSA operatives out there who don't see the harm in what they are doing, or the harm in the ways they are being used... :nervous:

Thank you again Nicole for being honest and telling us your story...keep telling it if you have more to say...we're listening! :)

I'm glad you are free!! :happydance:
 

Nicole

Silver Meritorious Patron
Thank You SweetnessandLight, Lurker, und natürlich MrN.

After the dead of my father,... A person talked with me about his dead. It wasn't made first aid, the telephone was broken, cell phone? It needed a long time until the emergency doctor arrived. He couldn't do anything. My father was brought to forensics (regulary made in Germany, when "young" people die) . A doctor (friend of my fathers family) said, that he was very ill and a obduction wasn't made. I got informed, after this all happened. The mortician was a friend of the family...

February 2010 I got Fair Gamed in a very evil way. At this time I started a research about my fathers company. I wanted to know what happen. I wanted to bring light in the darkness.

But it could be another reason why I got Fair Gamed.:confused2:

I got attacked in the forest by three people. Better one person, the two other watched. My dog kept him at distance.
I got observed obviously.
When I walked with my dog, I met allways a man at one special place. I could walk at 10.00 am I met him, at 13.00 pm or whatever. After a while I saw that it were two men. One followed me and told the other when I was at the place. I started to walk other ways, but the man was there too. I thought I go mad. I fall in a deep black whole. I wanted that it stop. They spoke with one of my kids on the street. Neighbours called me. I ran there. I was very scared... :hide::help2:

I thought of going to the Org and say please stop, here I am, do with me what you want. But please stop. But I also felt the need to go there, to get there help. It is a little bit crazy.... But I didn't go there. I searched for help an I got help at a German Anon page. Another Anon helped me and I informed the German secret service.
But OSA found me in the net. They contacted me, and I let my little Scientologist feed and it grow again. My reality changed. I trust the lies. I made for them stuppid post at WWP, I should get friend with some people and I gave informations.

MrN was there and saw what I did. He was a target, but he helped me.:yes:

The Fair Game didn't stop until now. But OSA is only a bubble.:yes:
 
Last edited:
Thank you Nicole for telling us more of your story. I am very sorry that your Father did not get the help he deserved. Good for you for looking into his business practices and COS influences there. The truth about these unpleasant things needs to be told, even when it seems easier to look the other way...

Many Exes and Critics have been fair gamed, and there are a couple threads here that give some good helpful information. I will try and find some and post links. Hopefully they are now leaving you alone, but if there is any more following or threatening behavior, call the law authorities for your area and report it. Maybe you can get a restraining order against the Org ED and staff, and their operatives.

I think the best thing is to tell the truth about what you know to authorities, which you have done, and on the internet. I think once the truth is told, that protects you and your family in a way. I'm really glad you are talking with us here, and hope it will help you, as well as help to educate others as to what OSA does. :thumbsup:

There are a lot of people here who can give good advice based on their own experiences. I would say, get a cell phone with a camera function, or carry a small digital camera with you everywhere, and photograph and keep a journal record of every time you see someone suspicious following you, or lurking around. Create a paper trail of their activities that you can take to the authorities, including times they call you or want you to come in to Org, or do a "job" for them, like they asked you to do on WWP. Just photographing them and keeping a log of contacts with OSA or COS will intimidate them and give you legal ammunition to protect yourself and your family.

You are right when you say that OSA is a bubble, those people working for OSA are not thinking properly or living in a healthy manner, or really living in the real world.

I am so glad you have freed yourself from such an abnormal life, and wish your Father had been able to find his freedom too, other than by dying. Once again, my condolences to you and your family on his loss. Do continue your investigation into his life and death, and his business, until you are satisfied that you know the complete truth about it all. It will be very healing and freeing for you.

Some of the members here have also worked for OSA in their time in COS, so you are not alone. Reading their stories may be helpful. I understand that a lot of people are leaving COS in Germany. Good!

Know that you, and they, already have friends here on this board, who very much like to be helpful to others newly out of the COS! :happydance:
 

MrNobody

Who needs merits?
Thank You SweetnessandLight, Lurker, und natürlich MrN.

After the dead of my father,... A person talked with me about his dead. It wasn't made first aid, the telephone was broken, cell phone? It needed a long time until the emergency doctor arrived. He couldn't do anything. My father was brought to forensics (regulary made in Germany, when "young" people die) . A doctor (friend of my fathers family) said, that he was very ill and a obduction wasn't made. I got informed, after this all happened. The mortician was a friend of the family...

February 2010 I got Fair Gamed in a very evil way. At this time I started a research about my fathers company. I wanted to know what happen. I wanted to bring light in the darkness.

But it could be another reason why I got Fair Gamed.:confused2:

I got attacked in the forest by three people. Better one person, the two other watched. My dog kept him at distance.
I got observed obviously.
When I walked with my dog, I met allways a man at one special place. I could walk at 10.00 am I met him, at 13.00 pm or whatever. After a while I saw that it were two men. One followed me and told the other when I was at the place. I started to walk other ways, but the man was there too. I thought I go mad. I fall in a deep black whole. I wanted that it stop. They spoke with one of my kids on the street. Neighbours called me. I ran there. I was very scared... :hide::help2:

I thought of going to the Org and say please stop, here I am, do with me what you want. But please stop. But I also felt the need to go there, to get there help. It is a little bit crazy.... But I didn't go there. I searched for help an I got help at a German Anon page. Another Anon helped me and I informed the German secret service.
But OSA found me in the net. They contacted me, and I let my little Scientologist feed and it grow again. My reality changed. I trust the lies. I made for them stuppid post at WWP, I should get friend with some people and I gave informations.

MrN was there and saw what I did. He was a target, but he helped me.:yes:

The Fair Game didn't stop until now. But OSA is only a bubble.:yes:

Yes, I was there, I saw what was going on (not only what you did). Then you PM'd me about an unrelated post I made in another thread, saying you no longer think I was the asshole you once thought I were. :)

:omg:, I'm no longer the professional asshole around here? You just destroyed my reputation. :bigcry: :bigcry: A reputation I worked so very hard for. :bigcry:

:D

Anyway, I told you what I had seen and what I thought about that. The rest is history. Well, more or less... :)

So, all in all, I didn't work too hard to help you, did I?

Anyway, you're right: "OSA is only a bubble". A scarecrow, which, once it's no longer feared, is pretty much powerless. What's left, are just a (small) bunch of deluded individuals, who are trying to make you feel uncomfortable. Anybody should be able to deal with those.

:cheers:, MrN

ps: Yup, sunshine desinfects, and if I could help you to get some stuff off your chest, and make your life a little better, I think I've done my job - at least a part of it. My work will be finished, when I'm no longer needed. :coolwink:
 

Lurker5

Gold Meritorious Patron
May he

RIP
Jürgen Börsting
Born 03. September 1952
gone 31. August 2008
to start a "New Cycle",
he stopped to take the medicine he needed and
didn't use the medical care he got offered.


I wish he lives the life he dreamed of. I miss you Papa....

sonnenblume%7E2.jpg

May he rest in peace.

:console: :bighug:
 

Markus

Silver Meritorious Patron
Thank You SweetnessandLight, Lurker, und natürlich MrN.

After the dead of my father,... A person talked with me about his dead. It wasn't made first aid, the telephone was broken, cell phone? It needed a long time until the emergency doctor arrived. He couldn't do anything. My father was brought to forensics (regulary made in Germany, when "young" people die) . A doctor (friend of my fathers family) said, that he was very ill and a obduction wasn't made. I got informed, after this all happened. The mortician was a friend of the family...

February 2010 I got Fair Gamed in a very evil way. At this time I started a research about my fathers company. I wanted to know what happen. I wanted to bring light in the darkness.

But it could be another reason why I got Fair Gamed.:confused2:

I got attacked in the forest by three people. Better one person, the two other watched. My dog kept him at distance.
I got observed obviously.
When I walked with my dog, I met allways a man at one special place. I could walk at 10.00 am I met him, at 13.00 pm or whatever. After a while I saw that it were two men. One followed me and told the other when I was at the place. I started to walk other ways, but the man was there too. I thought I go mad. I fall in a deep black whole. I wanted that it stop. They spoke with one of my kids on the street. Neighbours called me. I ran there. I was very scared... :hide::help2:

I thought of going to the Org and say please stop, here I am, do with me what you want. But please stop. But I also felt the need to go there, to get there help. It is a little bit crazy.... But I didn't go there. I searched for help an I got help at a German Anon page. Another Anon helped me and I informed the German secret service.
But OSA found me in the net. They contacted me, and I let my little Scientologist feed and it grow again. My reality changed. I trust the lies. I made for them stuppid post at WWP, I should get friend with some people and I gave informations.

MrN was there and saw what I did. He was a target, but he helped me.:yes:

The Fair Game didn't stop until now. But OSA is only a bubble.:yes:

Thank you for posting this very important details Nicole - you are a very brave woman. God bless you and your family.

May your father rest in peace. If you need any help just let me know.

Best
Markus
 

Nicole

Silver Meritorious Patron
Thanks again. It are very nice replies.

@sweetnessandlight: I am well prepared.:wink2: Neighbours and friends are informated. The authorities are informated. My kids are informated about Co$ and they get a training from a very nice person to protect themselfe. .... and there is my lovely dog. I also decided to get help from a specialized advice center.:)
charly.jpg


Yes, I was there, I saw what was going on (not only what you did). Then you PM'd me about an unrelated post I made in another thread, saying you no longer think I was the asshole you once thought I were. :)
It was a very great post you made. It reached my heart.:coolwink:

:omg:, I'm no longer the professional asshole around here? You just destroyed my reputation. :bigcry: :bigcry: A reputation I worked so very hard for. :bigcry:

:D
:p

Anyway, I told you what I had seen and what I thought about that. The rest is history. Well, more or less... :)


So, all in all, I didn't work too hard to help you, did I?
You have to decide how much work it was.:coolwink: But it was and it is lots of work for me. But you were there and you are there, when I need you.

Anyway, you're right: "OSA is only a bubble". A scarecrow, which, once it's no longer feared, is pretty much powerless. What's left, are just a (small) bunch of deluded individuals, who are trying to make you feel uncomfortable. Anybody should be able to deal with those.

:cheers:, MrN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZjPFLdDyMc

ps: Yup, sunshine desinfects, and if I could help you to get some stuff off your chest, and make your life a little better, I think I've done my job - at least a part of it. My work will be finished, when I'm no longer needed. :coolwink:
You made a very good job.:yes: I need you less, but I am very lucky you are still there.:happydance:
 

Nicole

Silver Meritorious Patron
The dogs name is Charly. He lived on the street in Hungary and should got killed. Nice people brought him to Germany and since them he is my good dog. :yes:
 

EP - Ethics Particle

Gold Meritorious Patron
Lucky Dog!

The dogs name is Charly. He lived on the street in Hungary and should got killed. Nice people brought him to Germany and since them he is my good dog. :yes:

I can see from the pic that Charly will look out for you Nicole! :yes:

He's fortunate to have you too! :happydance:

Good roads and good weather to you and yours,

Mike Horton/EP
 

Ogsonofgroo

Crusader
The dogs name is Charly. He lived on the street in Hungary and should got killed. Nice people brought him to Germany and since them he is my good dog. :yes:

An awesome lookin' woofer thar Nicole! Obviously fat an' sassy and well loved~ lucky critter!

:cheers: & :rose:
 

Nicole

Silver Meritorious Patron
A little update...

More memories of my childhood I can see clearly now and I understand some coherences. I do remember persons (that were shadows to me) and see them more clearly. It heals my soul. But the journey isn't end.

I can let my father Rest in Peace. I have forgiven him. He didn't know it better.

My Scientology relatives broke the contact completely. I met them on a birthday party of another relatives and they didn't talk with me. They didn't say "hello".... People that talked with me, they later ignore. That hurts.

It also hurts me, that lots of people still see in me an OSA Agent. In the begining I got very angry about it and the more angry I got the more the people think I am still OSA. Now I try to take it with equanimity (Gleichmut).

I wonder me what to do with my time. Now I have so lots of it. :confused2:

...and in the past weeks I (sometimes) choose a wrong way... But that is life...
1-1-weggabelung.jpg
 

Purple Rain

Crusader
I wonder me what to do with my time. Now I have so lots of it. :confused2:

...and in the past weeks I (sometimes) choose a wrong way... But that is life...
1-1-weggabelung.jpg

Hi Nicole,

It sounds like you are feeling a little lost and lonely. I'm kind of going through that myself at the moment, so maybe I'm just projecting. But in any case, we all make decisions we regret, bad choices we wish we could take back. If you're ever tempted to do that with Scientology, though, just remember your dad, and what they took from you both. I was really moved to read about your story. I haven't been here for a long time and hadn't come across it before. Somebody, I can't remember who, put it very well when they said that with the internet we're never alone. Not you, or me, or anybody else. And that is a great strength really. As far as I'm concerned, if there is a person out there who has never made a bad choice, never done a bad thing, well maybe they would have the right to judge you. Nobody else does, and certainly not me. People tell me I'm a beautiful person, that I have courage and honesty, and that makes me cringe because I know what lurks inside myself, the darkness of what is hidden even to me. Sometimes my demons come out to dance, but only one person has ever seen that fully. So many of our battles are really with our own selves, and they are the hardest to win.

For what it's worth, I believe in you.

Best,
Purple
 

Nicole

Silver Meritorious Patron
Hi Nicole,

It sounds like you are feeling a little lost and lonely. I'm kind of going through that myself at the moment, so maybe I'm just projecting. But in any case, we all make decisions we regret, bad choices we wish we could take back. If you're ever tempted to do that with Scientology, though, just remember your dad, and what they took from you both. I was really moved to read about your story. I haven't been here for a long time and hadn't come across it before. Somebody, I can't remember who, put it very well when they said that with the internet we're never alone. Not you, or me, or anybody else. And that is a great strength really. As far as I'm concerned, if there is a person out there who has never made a bad choice, never done a bad thing, well maybe they would have the right to judge you. Nobody else does, and certainly not me. People tell me I'm a beautiful person, that I have courage and honesty, and that makes me cringe because I know what lurks inside myself, the darkness of what is hidden even to me. Sometimes my demons come out to dance, but only one person has ever seen that fully. So many of our battles are really with our own selves, and they are the hardest to win.

For what it's worth, I believe in you.

Best,
Purple

Thanks for the nice words. :yes:
I feel a little bit lost and lonely, at the moment. But I will never go back to Scientology. No, Scientology kills, Scientology would destroy my kids life and my family. I know it.
 
Last edited:

Nicole

Silver Meritorious Patron
Timeline of my Scientology Life...

I got asked to write a Timeline of my Scientology past (my inside and outside Scientology times)... Now it's time to do this. Some parts of my childhood and teenage time I can't see really clear, it is a dust around this memories. But I see more and more light in this and I hope I can write more about this one day.

Ca. 1983, I was 9 or ten years old I got in contact with Scientology.

Ca. 1994, I got asked to make my "OSA Job"

Ca. 1996 I moved house, away from my family. I met my husband.

Ca 1997, I stopped to work for OSA and I hold distance to Scientology and to my family.

1998 I wrote my thesis about child abuses in Scientology.

Than I got my two kids and I still stayed away from Co$ and the services. The only contact to Scientology I had with my Scientology family. I never went back, because I didn't want that my children get treated like me an I knew that I would have lost them.

2008 may father died. I thought about getting a real $cientologist again, but never made because of my kids. There was a "urge" inside me to go back.

2010 I got Fair Gamed. I haven't found help. Not in the Real Life and not in the Internet. Than a Scientologist contacted me and I "worked" again for OSA from June until November 2010.

Until ca. May 2011 I wasn't sure which way to go. The $cientology way or the way to stay away from the Cult.

I decided me for the way away from the Cult and to stay with my kids and husband.
 
Top