Just worked up the courage

StickbyMe

Patron with Honors
Hi, I just registered. After going to the Delphian School, I was on staff at a Class V org for 1.5 years before moving up to the SO. I also did some work on a major campaign, but I'm hesitant to list it in this post in case OSA is reading as this would identify me pretty clearly, and I'm not looking for a declare (I still have SCN friends and connections and don't want the disconnection).

My parents got into Scientology when I was a teenager and I kept going with it long after they got swindled out of a great deal of money. Go to Flag, buy lots and lots of intensives, get labeled an illegal PC and sent home without your money. My mother petitioned to have the status overturned but with no avail.

In the 4 years I was a staff member (including SO time), I never got trained or audited. I did my purif as a teenager and this is where I stayed the entire time. All my training was post-related. Now my family doesn't really talk about our time in Scientology, as if it never happened. My girlfriend doesn't know about our involvement and I'd like to keep it that way. My only real connection is when I get barraged with phone calls before major events, but I've managed to minimize this lately.

I have avoided sites like this for a long time because there's a part of me that is still afraid of being declared, although lord knows why as I haven't been in an org since the launch of the NY org several years ago.

I'd love to reconnect with some of my old CLO EUS cohorts (think early-mid 2000s). Although I've essentially edited out this portion of my life, I still have some very fond memories of being on purpose and active. It's really hard for me to reconcile the nostalgia of those times with my current disdain for what the Church has become.

Anyway, I'm here now. Nervous even as I write this that I'm going to get a phone call from the local DSA.
 
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exsomessenger

Patron Meritorious
Welcome Stick,

Fantastic first post and I fully get you on the feeling that are comming up at this moment. I went through this as well when I came to this site. Look around and I'm sure you will see that many people share in what you went through. I hope that you are able to re-connect "in a new unit of time" with theese people.

I never made it up to the EUS area myself but I bet there are many that did.

Cheers Exso
 

Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
Welcome. If you wish to stay unidentified, you might want to go very light on the details. You have 30 minutes after you post to edit it. :)

I don't know if they do this, but it wouldn't be too hard to make up a computer database of global ex-staff and put in data from life histories (you did at least one, right?), and then it would take less than a second to see if posts like yours give any matches.

Paul
 

sallydannce

Gold Meritorious Patron
Hey Stickbyme,

Welcome to ESMB! All of us, in our own way, understand how you are feeling.

My first post on ESMB left me shaking and sweating. So many mental controls kicked in on me. Fear ya know. Fear of so many things I had sucked up and believed for far too many years.

I hope you like it here on ESMB. Good work on finding that courage!

Welcome! :)
Sally
 

Div6

Crusader
Welcome to ESMB, and congratulations on conquering your fear!
I wouldn't worry too much about being identified. It would only do your friends a favor if they were forced to "disconnect" from you. Sometimes that is what it takes to wake these people up from their kool-aid enhanced realities.

As for those who still support and empower David Miscavige, the future is not going to be too kind to them or their memory. (If anyone will remember them at all).

Thanks for the post.
 

StickbyMe

Patron with Honors
Welcome. If you wish to stay unidentified, you might want to go very light on the details. You have 30 minutes after you post to edit it. :)

I don't know if they do this, but it wouldn't be too hard to make up a computer database of global ex-staff and put in data from life histories (you did at least one, right?), and then it would take less than a second to see if posts like yours give any matches.

Paul

Thanks, I edited out the post information.

Honestly, if I DID get declared, I wouldn't be losing much. Actually, fewer phone calls for events/releases would be kinda nice. :eyeroll:
 

GoNuclear

Gold Meritorious Patron
Welcome to ESMB! :wave:

Be advised.. Being a declared SP is a mark of honour around these parts. Actually having a Goldenrod to prove it makes you the equivalent of batman hisself!

I'm sorry to say that I can't prove my SP'ness. The cult has refused to deliver my declare... So I'm only like Elmer Fudd or somesuch..

Here's the actual SP levels:
http://www.holysmoke.org/cos/the-suppressive-levels.htm

:yes:

Your avatar, with those glasses and that bobbing green weiner, proves that you are clearly an espee, goldenrod or not.

Pete
 
Hi, I just registered. ...

Anyway, I'm here now. Nervous even as I write this that I'm going to get a phone call from the local DSA.

Welcome. Being nervous is understandable. Don't give away too much personal information (names, places, levels, etc.) and you should be fine. The stuff you've put up so far is sufficiently vague in itself that it shouldn't prove problematic for you. Hope you can relax and enjoy yourself some.


Best,
Mark A. Baker
 

FoTi

Crusader
Thanks, I edited out the post information.

Honestly, if I DID get declared, I wouldn't be losing much. Actually, fewer phone calls for events/releases would be kinda nice. :eyeroll:

Welcome StickbyMe. Glad you have left the CoS and joined us.

You may have edited out some information from the OP, but I think you still left plenty of information for them to track you down, find you, and haul you and your relatives into ethics for a little handle or disconnect lecture, if they desire to do so.

Wishing you the best and hoping that OSA is too busy with other issues to even bother with you.

Hopefully the house of cards will fall soon and all will be out and can talk about their experiences in the cult and there will be no more threat of disconnection and no more phone calls for regging, releases or events. :eyeroll:
 

Idle Morgue

Gold Meritorious Patron
Welcome and thanks for having the courage to come out! It is normal to be nervous about OSA but believe me, they have bigger fish to fry: Debbie Cook, France, Israel not to mention thousands of people leaving, no more new public in to extort and bamboozle! The new Idle Morgues will give the Co$ PTP's of EPIC proportions! The jig is up and the house of cards will soon fall!

The fear is created while in, it dissipates every day once out! I had been spinning for years and recently got out too. I actually found pleasure in cleaning the cat box today. I could not muster up one fricken pleasure moment while involved in the Co$. It gets better and better so keep reading and posting.

Your communication has been inhibited. Feel free to say whatever you want. You are safe. You are loved! You are awesome!

We are here for you!:heartflower::bighug::love2:
:flowers:
 

Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
Thanks, I edited out the post information.

Honestly, if I DID get declared, I wouldn't be losing much. Actually, fewer phone calls for events/releases would be kinda nice. :eyeroll:

Great.

Yes. For me, getting declared was marvellous. The transition was a bit hairy at times, but once things smoothed out life was definitely better all around.

Paul
 

Ogsonofgroo

Crusader
welcome2.jpg


To the fray!

Relax, meet some good folk, tell us a story, but most of all~ do not worry too much.

Love to ya! :rose:
 

StickbyMe

Patron with Honors
I gotta say for a bunch of 2.5%ers, you sure are pretty nice. :eyeroll:

I think I am glad to be here. I don't have any relatives in Scn that would respond to a call from an ethics officer anyway.

You want a story? I'll come up with one or two. There was the time there was a flu epidemic at CLO EUS. Everybody got sick from the galley, leaving only a girl who'd been washing dishes while doing lowers. Prior to the illness one of the Wells twins had been doing most of the cooking, but he had no idea how to shop efficiently or prepare food for so many people, especially on a tight budget. So the girl, whose name eludes me at the moment... Emily maybe? She did what any reasonable person on their way to routing out of the SO would do and stepped up and cooked a great meal. It was the best we'd eaten in weeks. Everybody was suitably impressed until Billy Lindstein realized who had done the cooking. I seem to remember him being not too happy to realize the only decent meal he'd had all month was prepared by somebody OUT ETHICS!
 
G

Gottabrain

Guest
WELCOME to ESMB, Stick!

You write well and have a lot to talk about, I'm sure. So kick back, make friends and have a chat about whatever you wish.

Nice to have you here. :thumbsup:

welcome.gif
 

still here

Patron with Honors
Hello Stick

Welcome and congrats on being brave!
It was nearly 20 years before I posted here - life had moved on and been great - but even so I had a mild reaction of worry...so I know how you feel!
This is not real however - what on earth have I got to fear after this long.. and do I care?
I think however that it is the emotional baggage we carry after years of indoctrination where we still have latent - insane ideas that we are betraying or putting ourselves in danger of some sort, but there are no practical, physical facts....
In reality there is nothing a bunch of cult members can do to us , say to us or harm us with - so relax and practice - and it will improve your confidence and relegate the oppressors to where they belong - nowhere! :happydance:
 

Veda

Sponsor
Hi, I just registered. After going to the Delphian School, I was on staff at a Class V org for 1.5 years before moving up to the SO. I also did some work on a major campaign, but I'm hesitant to list it in this post in case OSA is reading as this would identify me pretty clearly, and I'm not looking for a declare (I still have SCN friends and connections and don't want the disconnection).

My parents got into Scientology when I was a teenager and I kept going with it long after they got swindled out of a great deal of money. Go to Flag, buy lots and lots of intensives, get labeled an illegal PC and sent home without your money. My mother petitioned to have the status overturned but with no avail.

In the 4 years I was a staff member (including SO time), I never got trained or audited. I did my purif as a teenager and this is where I stayed the entire time. All my training was post-related. Now my family doesn't really talk about our time in Scientology, as if it never happened. My girlfriend doesn't know about our involvement and I'd like to keep it that way. My only real connection is when I get barraged with phone calls before major events, but I've managed to minimize this lately.

I have avoided sites like this for a long time because there's a part of me that is still afraid of being declared, although lord knows why as I haven't been in an org since the launch of the NY org several years ago.

I'd love to reconnect with some of my old CLO EUS cohorts (think early-mid 2000s). Although I've essentially edited out this portion of my life, I still have some very fond memories of being on purpose and active. It's really hard for me to reconcile the nostalgia of those times with my current disdain for what the Church has become.

Anyway, I'm here now. Nervous even as I write this that I'm going to get a phone call from the local DSA.

Welcome StickbyMe, to ESMB. :)


First a little historical background:

People have been leaving the CofS since 1954 when Scientology was incorporated as a Church. Before that, people left Dianetics, some of the better remembered are J.A. Winter (who wrote the Introduction for 'DMSMH'), and John Campbell (who published the first article on Dianetics in his 'Astounding Science Fiction' magazine). They left in 1950 and 1951.

Then came the transition to Scientology, after Hubbard lost the rights to the name 'Dianetics', and decided to drive former business partner, supporter and benefactor, Don Purcell, bonkers by concocting - pretty much overnight - "Whole Track Maps," and then the book 'History of Man' ("This is a cold blooded and factual account of your last 60 trillion years.") And more left.

Richard DeMille, who wrote some pieces now attributed to Hubbard, left around 1953. There were many others.

In 1959, L. Ron Hubbard Jr. left.

Lots of people left in the early 1960s with the era of 'Sec Checking', deciding that any group that insists that its members undergo metered interrogation, with such questions as "Are you a pervert" or "Have you ever had any unkind thoughts about L. Ron Hubbard?" was not for them.

By 1965, Hubbard wrote 'Keeping Scientology Working', invented the SP Doctrine and SP Declares, Disconnection, the Fair Game Law, and the "deadly serious," and "vital to your survival," history of the universe&your mind "upper levels" (which, we were told, no one could discover but Hubbard, who, in his written confidential materials, authoritatively told Scientologists); also around this time, Hubbard starting calling himself 'Source'. Many more people left.

In 1967 came the Sea Org and Xenu, and more left.

By the late 1960s and early 1970s, the Commodore and his ashtray-carrying 13 year old girl servants were a law unto themselves on the 'Flagship', the "safest and sanest place in the universe," and more left.

John McMaster, 'The World's First Real Clear' and the 'Pope' of Scientology, left.

Writer William Burroughs came along, was involved briefly, did the Clearing Course then, upon completion, when asked if he wished to sign up for OT2, said, "No thanks," and left.

Many others left.

Then came the RPF and the RPF's RPF, and more left.

By early 1977, Hubbard had written his "LSD, Years after they had Come of off' HCOB, in which he described people who had ever taken LSD as "zombies," and soon after told them that they were required to wear rubber suits and run around for hours, and more left.

Then, in July 1977 came the FBI raids, and two years later came the court-ordered release of thousands of pages of previously secret Scientology documents, and Hubbard's super-secret spying and covert attack tech, and even more left.

Then Hubbard decided that almost everyone was "Clear" and needed to exit Missions (which he was in the early stage of looting), and go "up lines" and spend their money there (where Hubbard had immediate access to the money), and more people left.

This was followed, a few years later, by Hubbard responding to the first Mission Holders Meeting by sending his #1 henchman, David Miscavige, to "handle" the 2nd Mission Holders meeting, and more left.

Then, roughly around that time, came the partial unearthing of Hubbard's past by way of the "Shannon documents," obtained through the Freedom of Information act, and more left.

By July 1984, there was Gerry Armstrong vs. Church of Scientology, and the further unearthing of Hubbard's past, and even more left.

Then came books like 'Messiah or Madman?' and 'Barefaced Messiah', and many more left.

Then came the Internet.

And then came ESMB.


SkickbyMe, you might get a kick out of reading this official CofS list of Declared Suppressive Persons and groups circa 1991. The list today is much longer and, as far as I know, an updated list has not been published by the CofS, perhaps out of embarrassment for having such a ridiculously long list of "suppressive persons," etc.

http://www.antisectes.net/suppressive-groups-and-individual-soed-2830-1991.pdf

And here's an article from the Ex Scientologist home page which may be of interest: http://exscn.net/content/view/178/105
 

Arthur Dent

Silver Meritorious Patron
Hey Stick,
Welcome!

Don't bother picking up the phone.
Eventually, those calling will learn to expect
your voice mail! Number of times over squalls certainty!

Create your new life, relax, read your heart out here...
There is a lot to learn from threads here.

And breathe Enjoy your time here and, of course, feel free
to tell us stories! Yours, your families... friends...
(w/o give-away details, of course!). ...we do love stories!

Glad you had the courage to post!
 
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