Left Decades Ago, Deprogramming for 3 Years

[AnonyMary]

That quote sounds about right... I have another post about the Falun Gong: It took me the whole of about a day or so to get caught up in this cult and release myself from it, thanks to my exposure to scientology.

I believe that this site has a lot of what I'm looking: I am convinced that I still have a lot of mind clutter and I work at not 'thinking' in scientologese. It's funny though, when I see someone doing work that is ass backwards and wasting time and I still use the thought "Dev-T". It's easier than using a phrase like "That's a waste of time and absolutely unnecessary: you're actually creating more work" as opposed to "That's Dev-T!"

It is becoming easier when I talk to friends that are still mesmerized and not get caught up in the lie machine again: "Hey, how's it going? Are you back on lines? Did you hear that Ron's books have all been republished and re-issued? Yeah, I hear that the books were originally issued out of order... now that's been fixed. When are you going to get back on the Bridge?"

How are things now, as compared to last Feb dear Zorg?

 

[Lurker5]

Bump

Yeah, Zorg, how is it going ?

 

[The Great Zorg]

EH,

How are things now, as compared to last Feb dear Zorg?

Yeah, Zorg, how is it going ?

Much better, thanks in part to all of you here at ESMB.

My courage level has risen to the point where I told a slam calling me the other day that if scientology ever called me again I would sue her brainwashing cult into oblivion. Then I told her to write that in my 'folder' and don't EVER call me again. It is the very first time I have ever told a senior clam how I feel and what I think. It was cathartic!*

Now I am working on my acceptance of all levels of clam involvement. I was trying for "tolerance", but tolerance is just another form of "tacit rejection". So I slog away, day after day, continuously trying to "unthink" my indoctrination.

The one thing I have noticed is starting to dissipate is my inherent paranoia. That undercurrent of distrust and automatic assumption that ever 'wog' is a 'case' and in need of some kind of help. Jeesh, what a head f**k!!!! :confused2:

Thanks for asking.

*thanks for the much needed words in pm, Mystic.

 

[AnonyMary]

Much better, thanks in part to all of you here at ESMB.

My courage level has risen to the point where I told a slam calling me the other day that if scientology ever called me again I would sue her brainwashing cult into oblivion. Then I told her to write that in my 'folder' and don't EVER call me again. It is the very first time I have ever told a senior clam how I feel and what I think. It was cathartic!*

Now I am working on my acceptance of all levels of clam involvement. I was trying for "tolerance", but tolerance is just another form of "tacit rejection". So I slog away, day after day, continuously trying to "unthink" my indoctrination.

The one thing I have noticed is starting to dissipate is my inherent paranoia. That undercurrent of distrust and automatic assumption that ever 'wog' is a 'case' and in need of some kind of help. Jeesh, what a head f**k!!!! :confused2:

Thanks for asking.

*thanks for the much needed words in pm, Mystic.

 

[Nicole]

Today I fall over this thread, I didn't read it before.

Great Zorg I found it very good what you wrote in your opening post, the other thinks too.

I find it good that you explain how you arrive in the "real" world and that you are having problems with it. That helps other and you.
I find it also good that you excuse. I wrote ones in another thread that it is important to forgive the Exs, because they were not themselves, no matter who it is or what they do. But I think to leave really the brianwash, starts with to see what happen to you and other. It starts with to get a view from outside.

Much better, thanks in part to all of you here at ESMB

ESMB heals, I've even felt it.


Ich wünsche Dir alles Gute und das du dein Leben genießen kannst!
(I wish you all good and that you can enjoy your live!)
Sauerländerin

 

[The Great Zorg]

Today I fall over this thread, I didn't read it before.
Great Zorg I found it very good what you wrote in your opening post, the other thinks too.
I find it good that you explain how you arrive in the "real" world and that you are having problems with it. That helps other and you.
I find it also good that you excuse. I wrote ones in another thread that it is important to forgive the Exs, because they were not themselves, no matter who it is or what they do. But I think to leave really the brianwash, starts with to see what happen to you and other. It starts with to get a view from outside.
ESMB heals, I've even felt it.
Ich wünsche Dir alles Gute und das du dein Leben genießen kannst!
(I wish you all good and that you can enjoy your live!)
Sauerländerin

Danke schön

 

[MrNobody]

"Unthink" your indoctrination? Maybe I'm misinterpreting you, but wouldn't it be better to just be aware of it as much as possible?

There's nothing wrong with falling back into old thought patterns occasionally, as long as you later (or preferrably sooner) :wink2: recognize what had happened there. The more you are aware of $cn-think, the more it'll wear off of you. Some of it may stay with you for a long time, but as long as you're aware of that, it shouldn't be a problem.

Glad to hear your paranoia is dissipating, and I hope this process continues. .

 

[The Great Zorg]

(snip)Glad to hear your paranoia is dissipating, and I hope this process continues. .

What do you mean by that?

 

[AnonyMary]

What do you mean by that?

He obviously misunderstood your OP.

 

[uniquemand]

I don't think in scientologese, but I can, if I want to. I think for some people it's important to deprogram, for others it's just about figuring out "well, what now?" Life is a long series of wakings ups and goings to sleeps. Each time we wake up, we think "hey, I'm really awake now", only to later discover we were blind then, too. Then we go to sleep again. Then we wake up again. If, at any time, you are absolutely certain, well, then you're in a trance, IMO. The trick is flexibility, rather than finding certainty.

 

[MrNobody]

What do you mean by that?

Well, if you are less paranoid today than you were some time ago, that's a good thing, isn't it? And here's hoping you'll feel even less paranoid in the future.

Ugh, I'll never become a good word-clearer...

 

[The Great Zorg]

What do you mean by that? ;-)

Well, if you are less paranoid today than you were some time ago, that's a good thing, isn't it? And here's hoping you'll feel even less paranoid in the future.
Ugh, I'll never become a good word-clearer...

I believe the entire paranoia issue developed from being suspicious. Hubbard must have calculated the sleight of mind in his writings to amplify a susceptible person's innate suspicion into full blown paranoia.

Through our involvement with scientology we all become an extension of hubbard's paranoid, delusional mind. This "extension" develops because we cannot refute anything he says. We must accept it all; we can only escape the totalitarian conditioning and indoctrination of scientology via hubbard by remaining silent about our objections. Hubbard, through coercion and these days, physical violence, must and does become a part of us; our thinking patterns, our thinking reduced to basic knee-jerk reactions and application of our conditioning and programming. We remain nearly "sane" by keeping any objections or conflicts to ourselves, remaining silent lest we unleash the Pandora's box of scientology 'ethics' (coercion and attack). I believe it is those silent objections that are the first to emerge once we leave the constantly indoctrinating environment of scientology.

Today, I am free to choose who and what I believe in, if anything or anyone. I have taken this new "mind guarding" all the way to questioning everything I've ever been "taught" (indoctrinated again if you're a Roman Catholic)... it has been through this questioning of everything over the years except scientology that had led me to a powerful, mystical spiritual awakening. When I began deprogramming myself I also added the so called 'tech' of hubbard to the list of everything to be examined critically. It is through a site like this, ESMB, that I can interact and sort out the nonsense and the garbage dump that was once the only thing ever on my mind; the "teachings" of the paranoid, delusional drugged occultist hubbard.

 

[Nicole]

I believe the entire paranoia issue developed from being suspicious. Hubbard must have calculated the sleight of mind in his writings to amplify a susceptible person's innate suspicion into full blown paranoia.

Through our involvement with scientology we all become an extension of hubbard's paranoid, delusional mind. This "extension" develops because we cannot refute anything he says. We must accept it all; we can only escape the totalitarian conditioning and indoctrination of scientology via hubbard by remaining silent about our objections. Hubbard, through coercion and these days, physical violence, must and does become a part of us; our thinking patterns, our thinking reduced to basic knee-jerk reactions and application of our conditioning and programming. We remain nearly "sane" by keeping any objections or conflicts to ourselves, remaining silent lest we unleash the Pandora's box of scientology 'ethics' (coercion and attack). I believe it is those silent objections that are the first to emerge once we leave the constantly indoctrinating environment of scientology.

Today, I am free to choose who and what I believe in, if anything or anyone. I have taken this new "mind guarding" all the way to questioning everything I've ever been "taught" (indoctrinated again if you're a Roman Catholic)... it has been through this questioning of everything over the years except scientology that had led me to a powerful, mystical spiritual awakening. When I began deprogramming myself I also added the so called 'tech' of hubbard to the list of everything to be examined critically. It is through a site like this, ESMB, that I can interact and sort out the nonsense and the garbage dump that was once the only thing ever on my mind; the "teachings" of the paranoid, delusional drugged occultist hubbard.

Maybe I am in your thread now a little bit off topic, but it made me think what you write. I saw a few things by my father. Especially fear and distrust wasn't really away until he died. You are writing the true.

As I got Fair Gamed in February, they viewed me a while I think and then they show me what for power they can have. I felt from one minute to another in a paranoia (other then yours). And I always thought that did Hubbard create, how ill he was and I also thought he knew what he did. It is so based on psychology (on evil psychology). Hubbard was really a paranoid, delusional, drugged occultist.

If I protest in front of an Org, the Scientologist are often aggressiv. I know that they are manipulated and I ask me always how to reach them, how to say I am nice. Is it possible? Do they listen?

How can I reach their heart?

 

[The Great Zorg]

(snip)
If I protest in front of an Org, the Scientologist are often aggressiv. I know that they are manipulated and I ask me always how to reach them, how to say I am nice. Is it possible? Do they listen?
How can I reach their heart?

I don't know. I think that if you find an anser as to how to reach the scientologists on the picket line then tell everyone. We would all need to know.