ESMB has entered archive mode. All posts and threads that were available to the general public are still readable. The board is still searchable. 

Thank you all for your participation and readership over the last 12 years.

If you want to join in the conversation, please join the new ESMB Redux at www.exscn2.net.



Lost my love

Discussion in 'Fair Game and Disconnection Victims' started by maxbenn, Aug 27, 2014.

  1. Kookaburra

    Kookaburra Gold Meritorious Patron

    Max, I feel for you but the posters that have answered you are right. If you followed your girlfriend into the cult, you would be throwing your life away. Along with all the trappings of life, like your house, your interests, your money, your children, your right to think freely and speak freely, your right to read what you want.....and on and on. You really have dodged a bullet.

    My advice to you for the immediate future is to go and do something that you have always wanted to do. Learn to fly a plane or go scuba diving or whatever. Just do something for yourself and you'll get back on your feet emotionally and then you can find a new relationship that will be healthy for you both. Good luck.
     
  2. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    My cynical side makes me wonder if the girl was looking for somebody who would finance her Scientology services. A guy who has been in Scientology for a while has usually had his assets weaseled out of him by the various regges. If a girl wants a Scientology "sugar daddy" (who doesn't have to be rich, just not heavily in debt), then she need to recruit one into Scientology.

    When you expressed no interest in Scientology, it meant you also would not like seeing her run up thousands of dollars in charges on your credit card for Scientology service.
     
  3. prosecco

    prosecco Patron Meritorious

    Agree that a relationship wouldn't work with a non Scientologist, however neutral. It isn't like simply converting to Catholicism for instance to marry someone as once the conversion classes are over, then all you have to do is show your face once a week or on religious holidays.

    The only other point to add is that most in the 'church' have interference in their marriages, and relationships, which is CONSTANT. At one stage, despite me and my then boyfriend both being in the Sea Org, he was ordered to split up from me. I knew people who were so indoctrinated that they did what they were told to do, and to split up with partners, sometimes long term ones, because they expressed disagreement with management or questioned the validity of scientology.

    Yup, you dodged a bullet.
     
  4. PannonPan

    PannonPan Patron

    my dear Max,

    I was once in the exact same situation as you.

    http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?25172-When-love-causes-harm


    You lost nothing, because you won freedom. Freedom to think for yourself, freedom to speak.

    Listen to this good people here, as I did. And read Steven Hassans 'Combatting Cult Mind Control' to understand what your ex-girlfried is exposed: Mind Control

    Our love is with you.
     
  5. maxbenn

    maxbenn Patron

    This is not gonna happen... She never told me that, but after doing some research I found out, that her ex-bf became a scientologist after they broke up. They have contact since then... It was ok for me, that she had contact with him, but lying to me, that he is not a Scientologist and then finding out he is one since June 2012 is making me feel worse.... What was she still hiding from me?
     
  6. maxbenn

    maxbenn Patron

    Hi,
    That story sounded familiar and then i clicked on your links... I've already subscibed to your channel way before. :)
    There is one thing I'm gonna do when I get a message from a $CN. Reply exactly as Mr. Bunker i guess it was, replied to you, when you asked what is so damn bad with $cientology!

    Thank you very much! :)
     
  7. Random guy

    Random guy Patron with Honors

    Hall Max.

    I am a never-in, and I have no advice to offer that others haven't already offered.

    Regarding your X girlfriend: Scientologists are taught to lie. It is one of their doctrines called "acceptable truths" (Google it). As a "wog" (Googel it too), you cannot be trusted to act rationally (i.e. in the interest of the CoS) if you knew the real story, hence they tell you an "acceptable truth".

    To your X girlfriends defence, she may not herself have had much choice is the matter. If you insisted on a balanced view, you are in their view a "potential trouble source" or even a "suppressive person" (again, Google these). She would be considered a potential trouble source to the local Org herself as long as she was connected to you, and not be able to continue receiving "auditing" or other services. My guess is you have been the victim of "disconnection" (Google etc), easily the CoS doctrine that has pissed off the most people.

    Go have a beer with a mate. Catch a film. Do something fun. As soon as you start liking your life and yourself again, someone will come along and like you too.
     
  8. maxbenn

    maxbenn Patron

    Maybe she did... but I am not able to blame her! Her Parents are OT VIII. Her siblings are scientologist... Her Grandparents are (Don't know how far they went up the f*cking bridge)...

    1. She got brain washed
    2. If she decides to stay with me, she will lose her family.

    So I cannot blame her, but only $cientology itself. I was more or less in the same situation as she was... My parents and family never knew, that she is a $CN. I've asked all of them, what they know about that Cult and I've got all the time the same answer: "It's a f*cking cult! Why do you ask, did they talk to you?" My Mom asked me, if she is a $cientologist and I had to lie to her...

    So for me entering the COS would mean, that I'd lose my family... not because they wont talk to me, but because I would have to disconnect from them in order to stay with her... I don't know if this is how it works but I've read about it on the internet and told myself, that I will never ever disconnect from my family! If not my father, I would't be the person I am right now!
    I had almost no motivation back in the past to study for school... He helped me a lot and thanks to him I'm a well paied engineer. I even think if I would drive a different car, that she would never ever concider to be with me.

    My uncle is damn rich. What he did is, he bougth a small appt in normal neighbourhood and a lousy car. He found his wife and just after the fist day of marrige he showed her, that he is actually a wealthy man... I always wanted to do the same!

    So yeah... I start thinking, that she is maybe only looking for some guys with some money. But since I'm the guy who is concidering to buy a piece of bread for 0.89 EUR and telling, that it is too expensive, they see, that I'm not giving my money away that quickly!

    What ever... I've drifted away from the topic... but this is how I think... trying to see every aspect of the way things are.
     
  9. Lurker5

    Lurker5 Gold Meritorious Patron

    You are thinking just fine, Max, just fine - keep on thinking it through . . . You got it. :yes:
     
  10. maxbenn

    maxbenn Patron

    Well I'm not the riches guy on the Planet, but I do have money. I'm driving a sweet Mercedes sports coupe! There was this situation the day I first kissed her.. I drove her home and just couple of days before a common frind of ours showed us his ne VW Golf 7. I really liked that car... I'm somehow into cars. The doors of the Golf 7 have no "angle lock". I don't know the english term for that, but i think you all know that you cannot position a door of a car in any positin you want... it will always fall into a specified angle. Not so with the Golf 7. He gave me his car for a test drive and I was pretty suprised. So back to the story. After that date, she told me, that she liked mine more than his... I was like: "WTF? Just because it costs more?" Don't get me wrong... I do love my car, but I would go for that Golf as well. I don't like girls who try to get my money.

    Couple of weeks later she told me that she is a $CN. My reaction to this was: "OK, what is this? Is it eatable?" I've seriously nerver heared about this whole $CN stuff in my life before.
    She started explaining and bla... Lot's of negative info on the web... bla... don't belive in it what they are saying! Bla... The reason why she was telling me this after a while was, that she wanted me to see, that her family and herself are completely normal, before confronting me with that.

    So 2 days later we were at her parents place and her father started asking me if I know what $cientology is all about. We had a really cool and wonderful conversation. We talked about beeing hypnotised and triggered and so on... I drifted away in my monolog once and told him that I have an aount - psychiatrist - in Detroit. Since they are Americans I thought, it will make a stronger bond between me and them, knowing, that 1/3 of my family moved to the States... but what I didn't know was, what $CN's think about psychiarists. There was no reaction from his side and he changed the topic to some other $CN related stuff. It was a really cool discussion but I needed to end it. I did with the words: "Sorry, but I have no clue what you are talking about and therefore I cannot have this discussion. Let me get some info on that and we can keep on going." - I said smth like this. Later that day some questions poped into my head and I asked them and his answer was: "Watch the movie "Dianetics" and you will have some knowledge so you can keep up with my thoughts..."
    He offered me, to watch it immediately at their place. I thanked for that and took a Copy of the DVD to my place and watched it by myself. After every scene I've paused and tried to find a common situation in my life. I did many sports and had many accidents in the past... I've blacked out just couple of months before I met her due to some pain in my back.
    She later that day the wanted to give me the "leaflet": The way to happiness. I've rejected that in first place and read it all by myself at home on the internet. I do live by all 21 point discribed there! It is just like I imagine ppl should be in order to live peacefully together. So far I thought... $CN can't be that bad as ppl talking about it on the internet.

    One day her Mom asked me if I want to make an intelligence test. I said yes why not... I've done lots of them and I know my IQ is somewhere between 90 and 135. ;p I've told her that as well... So she gave me the OCA test. I've read all 200 questions and asked myself, what does it has to do with my Intelligence. It's more about my personality, as the titel of the test says it! In some way I knew, that her Mom lied to me or tried to fool/trick me... I did not fill it out but I took the test home. I'll talk later about it why. Her Mom asked me serval times if I have already made the test, so she can check the result... "Nope, not yet." Just not to tell, that I'm not willing it to do at all. But she never ever asked me again.
    I've restructured the test due to financal, family etc. questions. If you order them in a different way, you can see, that they are just trying to check your answers for consistency. Afterwards I was talking to a friend of mine who is a psychologist and we talked about that test... Well I cannot remember what we have talked about exaclty, but she told me, that my thinking was correct, but it's not exactly how it is. All I remember is, that it is doing what I was thinking it should do... Getting your personal data. So, See you OCA test!

    I've started to be more critic about the CoS and I was telling it to my ex-gf as well. She did't liked it but never told me that. Sooo... I one morning I was waking up and thinking how I would feel if she would criticises my beliefs. Actually... I have no problem with that, cause this is what made me who I am right now! I can benifit from it and change myself to a better person if the comments about my behaviour makes sense to me or I hear the same thing from different sources I am willing to work on that! :)

    My ex skipped the Purif, cause she was told, that she wont need it. I think at the end of June or early July she was told to do the Purif. Acutally... I would like to do that Rundown with her... It sounds fun and all of us knows, that sauna actually cleans your body. But here we go again... I'm not willing to spend over 2000 EUR on that and take some Vitamins or any Niacin... Seriously... are you kidding me? I'm spending almost 70.000 EUR right now on my ATPL license... I cannot affort all of your courses... I need some backup money for medical puposes if smth happens to me or my family to help them. That is the thinking my father always told me... your health is #1 Priority and it costs! He always wanted me to become a doctor... I've studied med for 3 years after I quit, cause it is just not my thing. So yeah... that was my argumentation.
    But yeah... her mom asked me, if I want to do that. I said: "NO" and the was no discussion about that. They just changed the topic.

    Another story just poped into my mind. So we were having easter dinner at her grandparents house (her moms parents) in Luxembourg. They are against" Scientology, but I guess they are just waiting for the heritage cause they are rich as hell! And I mean it! Like $$$! The grandfather loves me. I never felt that welcome to their house! Meeting the family of your new gf of bf is ok, but you know, that you are actually only the bf or the gf and they treat you that way. But i was shocked how welcome I was. I think at first place it is, cause I'm a non-$CN. Second of all... I do have a dog and the he has a dog... and no one was playing and cuddling with "Rex" as I did! He always smiled when he saw me and rex plaing. I also started to train him! He was 5 months old and so it was time to train him propably. My ex was always suprised how good my dog is trained... She could try to feed him with a tasty sausage and I just needed to say "NO" and he would not even try to bite a peace of it... even she was trying to put it in his mouth... I need to say! I have never beated my dog! I've just used Ton 40! Hahahahaha... Couldn't stop to leave this joke out! :)

    Back to the story. We were driving from Lux back to Germany. My gf needed to stay in Lux, cause she had a business flight to Madrid or wherever she needed to go. In the car was her father and her brother. After a while the father asked me if I have watched Dianetics yet... "Yes, I did!" - "And? What do you think?" - The following weren't my words, but it was the message: "It is a piece of bullshit!" I was prepared for a conversation! I thought, that he will try to convince me that it is not, but he turned of the radio and there it was.... 1,5 hrs of scilence. This super akward scilence! After that he never talked to me again about scientology. He talked to his doughter about $CN in front of me, but never ever to me again! Actually I had no chance to say anything against it, cause I was not asked.
    He talked about great invetions of scientologist that are "re-invented" by others right now... but the technology is actually 50 years old and that they started to use it right now. Bla bla bla.

    Just one example: There is this hydrogel, that keeps the water longer and therefore make plant grow more efficiently. Sorry sir... but I hate to tell you, that the Drug-Mafia is using it for decades already! Just to make it clear... I don't do drugs or anything related to it! But I know facts like this cause... well I don't know... Maybe I was a Drug-Mafia Boss in my past life! :p

    I have way more examples I can come up with... but I think that should be enough for the start! :D

    cheers,
    Max
     
  11. maxbenn

    maxbenn Patron

    Hahahah... It was just a stupid example... I'm not skydiving. :p
    Or are you referring to some "deeper" point of view?
     
  12. maxbenn

    maxbenn Patron

    Maybe you are right... But I still cannot imagine, that she could be so crule to start making someone love you just to make him join to $CN.
     
  13. maxbenn

    maxbenn Patron

    Starting to do my ATPL in October! :) So I'm going to learn how to fly a plane! And quess what... I'm going to be in a training school in Vero Beach, Florida... Just the other coast side of Clearwater... I want to go there and see this city with my own eyes and if it really is like this, that they won't talk to wogs....
     
  14. Lermanet_com

    Lermanet_com Gold Meritorious Patron

    Skydiving is a non medically regulated version of SHOCK therapy, and sometimes quite effective...

    It's worse than you think....

    Keep reading...

    regards

    Arnie Lerma
     
  15. maxbenn

    maxbenn Patron

    I've told her, that I would do smth else with that money! She is going to spend 20.000 EUR on some course... Don't ask me which one... she never talked about this. Even when I've asked her: "What are you doing right now? What is the coolest part you have got from your studies? Tell me about it..."
     
  16. maxbenn

    maxbenn Patron

    I don't know what I would do in your position! I'm so sorry for you and all the others out there who have lost someone bacause of any cult! not only Scientology!
     
  17. maxbenn

    maxbenn Patron

    May I quote you from the post in the link you have posted...

    "No television, no news – completely isolated from the outside world." - same with me! It was a bit extreme!

    "Because I laid the crossbar very high; too high I still believe. So my love will be the benchmark for every new boyfriend for her. And then this person must still be Scn compatible ..."
    - maybe these are not the right words, but I've got your point. I reflect all my relationships to look for faults I did... I found plenty after every one... But not this one... I never told her what to do... I never told her what to belive... any thing... she was free! The day we broke up, I've asked her, what it is, that she is getting away from me... I never told you to not go out and have a nice time with frineds... or that she cannot be in contact with her ex bf's... she was "free"! You know what was her answer: "I don't know it this way!" Like she never experienced, that she can do what ever she wants but also telling me, that she is not feeling free with me? WTF? Does $CN has to do smth about with htat?
    She told me stories about her Ex, who become a scientologist after they broke up, though she always told me, that he isn't one. "He was not letting me do fun stuff with my friends..." What an asshole! I had such a gf once... I said bye and moved on.
    I think he was still hoping for a reunion... he still had pics on facebook with her, which vanished after we made our relationship "public"
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2014
  18. maxbenn

    maxbenn Patron

    First of all... THANK YOU ALL for replying me and getting my point of view... As I said... non of my friends can get it... They just don't belive what I am telling. I'm starting not to act against ppl in $CN but against $CN itself. They are just out of ethics! The real ethics... not their understanding of it!

    One more thing...
    I would like to know if you were "travelling back in time" to see your past life. I was talking about that with my ex and she told me, that she was a soilder and was not aiming correctly in order not to harm anyone during that battle... she belived, that nobody was trying to hit her as well... Everybody was "miss-aiming" so nobody will get killed.
    I've told her, that in my opinion it is a made up story... If someone asks you for a long long time what you see and what happend then and stuff like this, your brain gets stressed out and will come up with a story by itself just to relax... I think she wasn't that happy to hear that from me. I'm always saying what I'm thinking... and if somebody is able to change my point of view then please... do it... But with facts and evidence... and not that kind of evidence they claim that it is "evidence". I'm a science guy... I belive that 2+2=4 and nothing else! Poof me wrong and I'm with you!

    How many physicists are $CN's? Does anybody know one?
    People on the internet are making fun of the Xenu story. Well, for me there is no proof of his existance or non-existance. Let's say that he existed...
    According to Hubbard... Einstein was right about the fact, that man can't go faster then light. But Xenu was travelling for only 9 weeks from the Polaris Solar-system which is over 430 LJ away? He must have gone with more than 2000 times more than the speed of light! That doesen't make sense to me! Or am I confusing something and getting it wrong?
    Alpha Centauri, which is the nearest solar system to us is 4-5 LJ away... ?!?!?! WTF?

    Please tell me that I'm wrong with that!

    cheers,
    Max
     
  19. Magoo

    Magoo Gold Meritorious Patron

    When I *FINALLY* woke UP and escaped out of $cientology, (July 19, 2000)...
    I met many "Critics" (People who had never been "in" $cientology, but began fighting it due to they trying to STOP
    free speech on the Net). See www.youtube.com/ToryMagoo44 for the entire story.

    They asked me: "How could you be "in" Something for 30 YEARS?"

    I flashed on a movie I'd seen, many times when "in" and asked:

    "HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE TRUMAN SHOW??"

    Almost 1 for 1 people go: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yes!"

    I say, "That IS $cientology" and suggest they read www.xenu.net and other sites to learn more.

    If you haven't seen The Truman Show movie, please get it or watch it on Netflix.


    That IS what your old "GF" is "in".............and she's not hiding things from you. If she knew
    what we're talking about--------------she would leave, too.

    Most of my old "$cientology friends" are still "in". Why? Because they have not either
    been abused enough
    or
    seen the darker side (<<<< me)

    Once one of those happens, most peeps wake up and leave.

    Love and good wishes to you :flowers:

    Tory/Magoo
     
  20. Magoo

    Magoo Gold Meritorious Patron

    I doubt that, too. However, I do know in the 90's a 'friend' who was on OT 7 with me
    came to my house on her way back to Australia.

    She was pretty and my brother was here.

    Next day I could tell they'd had sex. I went back and asked my brother:

    "DID YOU FUCK HER?" :confused2:

    He: "Course!!" :biggrin::coolwink: (Me :duh: )

    I went ask her: "You screwed my brother, knowing him for one day?"

    She: "It's good dissemination". :duh: :no:

    Me: "NO! With my brother............it would have been good dissemination if
    you would NOT have screwed him. Then he would have been interested". :yes::yes::yes:

    I doubt your GF got with you for this reason. As you can see............even for the OT 7,
    She just used it as an "Excuse". :omg:

    Start YOUR Life..........and let her go. That's my advice, having lost my husband of 27 YEARS
    and ALL of my 30 year "$cientology Friends". Thankfully, I have made friends around the world....
    wonderful people! :bighug:

    Tory/Magoo