You’re a sweetheart!
Thank you! I’ve had something come up recently and would really appreciate your opinion. I’ll PM you tomorrow (it’s late here now.)
Yeh, CP is knocking himself out guessing and accusing, taking every shot in the dark he can, and he’s way off. Ugly, isn’t it? Look at what he insinuates, because to him, children are not to be loved and protected. To him, children are just little adults and if some adult Scientologists take advantage of them, it’s the child’s fault. What twisted nastiness. That’s Scientology! Brutal and cruel.
CP is just trying his best to hurt me because he can’t handle the ugly truth about Scientology and Hubbard. He’s hitting me with everything he thinks can be a trigger or button, but he has no idea, so just guesses. I love my family and have never publicly stated the circumstances that led to my leaving home. Of course, nobody in COS ever asked, either, because they didn’t care. It was more productive for COS to convince me that someone In my family was an SP and never let me know they called and keep me busy working as an underage Sea Org slave. What a nasty cult. Glad I’m out.
That's just the thing, it is NOT the fault of a child, nor can a child make "integrity" decisions about what to do with their adult life. I was emancipated at 15 and lived as an adult after leaving home at 14 (right before I turned 15), but that did not mean I was capable of making the correct movements in my life. I had no guidance, except for Scientology and other young adults around me giving their undeveloped brain-advice. The blind leading the blind. I can say that Scientology served a purpose at the time, sure. I needed structure. It gave that to me, but too much, obviously. It was a cult. It was like joining the Army, only, when you join the Army, you know what you're getting into and you're not lied to. I would have been better off joining the Army though.
But there are reasons you can't join the military until you are at least 18! Children have laws to protect them for a reason--because they are
children. There are laws about not having sex with minors--
for a reason! Because they're
minors! Children. They are not adults in little bodies. Anyone who thinks this is disgusting.
Now that I'm older looking back, at 15 years old, I had no idea what I was doing, and I was also reacting to various traumas that happened well before I reached my teen years. These sorts of things can't be processed until you are older and you can put it in perspective.
And then there's that disconnection thing you remind me about. I must have written my family dozens of disconnection letters because I was told they were SPs, the reason I got the flu, lost money, or wasn't moving on the bridge fast enough. I was taught to treat them as the enemy. Not for any other reason but because they weren't pro-Scientology. But I got sick and had life problems just the same, whether they were in my life or not. Explain that one. I was made to feel PTS all the time, and still am considered PTS because I am disabled, and there is nothing I can do about that. I will be a DB forevermore. All people with illness are PTS and seen this way, shunned by everyone they know in their Scientology community, shut out, and treated as a leper.
Or if you ever had a suicidal thought, or had a session with a psych, took an Ativan, or whatever, you are some kind of illegal piece of shit. All of this because Scientology doesn't work on anyone consistently as advertised, let alone people who are slightly sick. They don't want to be responsible for not being able to fix people's problems, because you can't have real problems to be fixed in order to have "wins" to begin with. They have excuse after excuse about why or how if the tek doesn't work on you, and all of it is YOUR fault. Not Hubbard's. Give me a break. No love, no empathy. No nothing. Your loved ones don't like us, fuck em. Stop talking to them. Make them our enemy. Your enemy. If you are still having issues, look up words. Still having problems? You probably are PTS, or an SP yourself--write up your overts. Somehow YOU did something wrong. If you are a child and you get raped, that's YOUR problem, you were there, you are responsible for your own condition. You want us to feel bad for you, you are running a service facsimile. On and on it goes.
No, that doesn't traumatize young people
at all. Of course not.
If they get your mind from a young age (in my case, I was 12 or so), and you never have connections to any other adult guidance because they've cut you off from everyone, by the time you're 30, you're completely molded by Hubbard's way of thinking and no outside influence. That's why it's complete mind control. Your communication is controlled, the language, your friends, your thoughts, and you are not allowed to be critical. By the time you get out and unravel this shit, it takes years to become some semblance of a human. You were never open to any other influence of life outside of Hubbard, because that's just simply not tolerated.
Maybe you left, but you realize it was an "escape" from nothing but a mind jail of endless rules. A kid is supposed to be responsible for falling into this? And/or getting out? How many more stories have to come out about how people have absolutely no one to turn to if they leave, nowhere to go, no money, no way out? That is doubly an escape. They are literally kept captive, and the children are especially! How is it
not slavery? Their parents are in the SO. They want to be with their parents (even though they never get to see them). They have some chance of being with them at least once in a while if they join the SO. What kid would not sign a contract? And what 15 years old wouldn't think they were doing it wholly of their own volition? At 15, I
thought I knew everything. Didn't you? I think, until you're free, you're still 15 of mind. I think, because of all of the above, one gets stunted and frozen in time; growing and learning real things are ciphered off.
What do you think? Sorry this was so long.
Awesome post, EZ. You hit the nail on the head. My story has many parallels to yours and you brought tears to my eyes. I wish when you were 12 or so, I was your big sister and could have looked out for you and given you hugs, direction and support when you most needed it. Hell, if I had a little sister (like you), I would never have taken the risk of Scn, never even left home. How different both our lives would have been.
You’re REALLY good!! 
