Make us cringe (using only five words or less) :)

strativarius

Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband
Why was the nail driven into that tomato?
I never could figure that one out.
The device that you mistakenly call a 'nail' is a piece of precision scientific equipment, here employed by the distinguished nuclear physicist and author Dr. Hubbard in his research into the pain threshold of greenhouse tomatoes. We still await the outcome of these studies but I am certain that they will play a major role in our understanding of vegetative life ON THIS PLANET.
 
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DagwoodGum

Squirreling Dervish
The device that you mistakenly call a 'nail' is a piece of precision scientific equipment, here employed by the distinguished nuclear physicist and author Dr. Hubbard in his research into the pain threshold of greenhouse tomatoes. We still await the outcome of these studies but I am certain that they will play a major role in our understanding of vegetative life ON THIS PLANET.
He might also have overheard some guy bragging on his exploits back in the 50's say "yeah man, I nailed this hot little tomato that I met at the party, she was feeling no pain man!" and over analyticalised it and from that sprang all manner of experimentation regarding nailing actual tomato's and charting their feelings on an e-meter.
What a frickin nimrod!
Just look at his face in the photo, is that the face of a sane man?
If this man tapped on your shoulder in an alley coming out of a club one night,
1. Would you expect to be commended for something you'd done or said?
2. Expect to be robbed at gunpoint?
3. Or expect to be sodomized back behind the dumpster?
I rest my case.
iOt5kN7.jpg
 
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strativarius

Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband
How contrived is this photograph. The E-Meter is turned towards the camera lens so that you can read Hubbard's name, and it wouldn't surprise me that even the exact position of the needle on the dial was a put-up-job.

Notice that it says on the meter dial 'For Use In Scientological Clearing' and yet the electrodes are embedded in a tomato. That says something about scientology, but I'm not exactly sure what.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
How contrived is this photograph. The E-Meter is turned towards the camera lens so that you can read Hubbard's name, and it wouldn't surprise me that even the exact position of the needle on the dial was a put-up-job.

Notice that it says on the meter dial 'For Use In Scientological Clearing' and yet the electrodes are embedded in a tomato. That says something about scientology, but I'm not exactly sure what.


ANSWER: The "AUDITING A TOMATO ANGLE" was an early tech pilot that failed to produce any result. In fact all tech pilots from 1950-1986 failed to produce any result. However, Hubbard was able to turn those failures into huge wins for himself, as evidenced by the line-charging that he personally experienced when Scientologists paid him vast sums of money because they were incredibly impressed with his "scientific proof". That's in fact where the TOMATO GIMMICK originated from---when Ron failed to make a "Clear" using Dianetics, he was morbidly depressed and just for relief he decided to create an even more preposterously ludicrous claim to test the limits of Scientologists gullibility. He was not disappointed and the convulsive line-charging helped him key out and "rise above" his bank.
 

Dotey OT

Cyclops Duck of the North - BEWARE
Hey, I saw that tomato one time at AOLA. He was in the middle of a sec check and didn't look very good. He said after he finished the sec check he was supposed to do the purif because he had a drinking problem, and couldn't stay off the sauce.
 

screamer2

Idiot Bastardson
You say tomayto and I say tomarto. :biggrin:
And I say $cientology is best summed up by this image of an otherwise innocent tomato hooked up to an electronic convulsive therapy machine and with a spike driven into it, being tortured by the demonic flounder of the 'Church' Of $cientology who couldn't stop jacking off despite fear of insanity, etc.

And this was the man who wanted to sell me a bridge. Right.
 
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Operating DB

Truman Show Dropout
Why was the nail driven into that tomato?
I never could figure that one out.
Funny, I never really noticed the nail before.

I do recall seeing that picture in one of those magazines, Time or Newsweek, back in the early 60's. Unless that memory is an implant from the fifth invader force.
 

DagwoodGum

Squirreling Dervish
ANSWER: The "AUDITING A TOMATO ANGLE" was an early tech pilot that failed to produce any result. In fact all tech pilots from 1950-1986 failed to produce any result. However, Hubbard was able to turn those failures into huge wins for himself, as evidenced by the line-charging that he personally experienced when Scientologists paid him vast sums of money because they were incredibly impressed with his "scientific proof". That's in fact where the TOMATO GIMMICK originated from---when Ron failed to make a "Clear" using Dianetics, he was morbidly depressed and just for relief he decided to create an even more preposterously ludicrous claim to test the limits of Scientologists gullibility. He was not disappointed and the convulsive line-charging helped him key out and "rise above" his bank.
Aha! I like where you're going with this. In other words his "tech" was originally designed to be used on grocery produce. He used humans as lab rats to test his theories before risking damage to valuable eggplants, carrots and tomato's. Yes, it's all becoming clear now.
iOt5kN7.jpg
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
And I say $cientology is best summed up by this image of an otherwise innocent tomato hooked up to an electronic convulsive therapy machine and with a spike driven into it, being tortured by the demonic flounder of the 'Church' Of $cientology who couldn't stop jacking off despite fear of insanity, etc.

And this was the man who wanted to sell me a bridge. Right.
Let's assume for a moment that instead of DMSMH, Hubbard had written a "scientific" book that claimed technology that could turn a garden-variety TOMATO into an advanced OT (Operating Tomato). And, further, that Hubbard guaranteed that a tomato could use his techniques to "rise above" its degraded state of Solanum Lycopersicum and become a Solanum Novis--capable of not only looking and tasting exactly like an APPLE---but capable of achieving "eternity" by living forever. Well, real scientists and botanists would have laughed themselves to tears, assuming it was some kind of parody on cults.

If Hubbard had done that everyone would have said it was totally absurd and unbelievable and ridiculous.

Yet, humans paid upwards of $500,000 for a book claiming even more ludicrously miraculous things.

The part that is entirely and endlessly fascinating to me is why nobody ever asked Hubbard--in fact demanded--that he demonstrate any single one of his magical claims. That's the true mojo of Scientology that kept it alive for the past 68 years; that Scientologists are terrified to ask for even one (1) simple demonstration of any of Hubbard's ten million words of utter bullshit.

I think that's the part of Scientology that "works". And, that's the part that Hubbard was fanatically driven to "Keep" working as in--KSW.

What gets it working and keeps it working is the utter and complete erasure of that portion of the reactive mind known as "due diligence".

.
 

DagwoodGum

Squirreling Dervish
The post Scientology tomato, cigarette burnt eyes, a Colombian neck tie fake toothless smile with a sparse shock of fungal green hair... Must be post purif with the reddish yellow hued complexion from all the niacin. What the hell did that maniac do to us?
 
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