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Meshell Little (Powers)-The True Story


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My name is Meshell Little, from St. Louis org. I used to be known as Meshell Powers and many Scientologists know me as such.

I have a story to tell to my "old" friends. These were my "conditional" friends who heard only one side of a story and never spoke to me again, even after having known me for over 20 years! Never asked me a single question about my decision to resign (privately, I might add) nor a single goodbye.

I believe anyone who ever knew me, deserves to have the question answered. The true question in their minds is "why". Why did me and my entire family (except one) walk away from the church. Did we really wake up one morning and every single one of us turn SP? No, we didn't. You know me too well, and most of you know my charactor very well! Please read, from my own words, why we resigned and how I went from privately and quietly resigning to being VERY PUBLIC and VERY vocal about it.

Many of you on this board already know this story because it has now been published far and wide, however, I need to have my name on this board as I had many many "friends" inside the church who will someday get the nerve to seek an answer to that question, "why".

Here is the answer to that:

We are Publicly Leaving the Church of Scientology

This is the story of Jim Little, Meshell Little (Powers), Heather Powers and grandmother, Edie Fields of St. Louis, Missouri. This is the real story of how we went from being 22-year veteran scientologists to quietly resigning from the structure known as the Church of Scientology on June 29, 2010. This action quickly culminated with the St. Louis Org declaring us SP’s on October 21, 2010. This declare, as I will go over, consisted of generalities, complete lies, assumptions stated as facts, situations twisted up neatly to appear as one, dropped out time (fully handled 13 years ago) all mixed with one percent truth – and completely written with the intention of discrediting to make us look evil. This is the thanks we got for all our years of supporting this organization. That’s not all though. They got my son!

On October 24, 2010 my 19-year-old son, Jeremy Powers, told me, his little sister, Heather and step-dad Jim that he could no longer have any association with us until we “came to our senses and recanted our misdeeds”. He originated that he knew we weren’t really suppressive and he knew it wasn’t right that he was being forced to disconnect. He said he had no choice because he had argued all he could to get someone to see that “forced (ultimatum) disconnection” was wrong, especially when it came to family. He said he tried to get them to see that if he ever felt we were suppressing him, he would decide on his own to disconnect, per PTS/SP tech. It is our opinion that only the most evil and arrogant of groups would practice this type of family destruction, especially against people who only want to walk away.

Since he and I have always been close, this act of cruelty, on his part, is beyond my ability to comprehend. I’ve been the one always there for him, loving him with open arms, granting him huge beingness, and protecting him from invalidation & harm. All of us fully supported his right to decide to stay with the church when he knew we were all leaving it. Make NO MISTAKE ABOUT THIS, I easily could have turned him to our side – I just wasn’t sure it was the best decision. So we supported him and ensured he had funds on his account to move forward as he wished. (Major error on our part!)

He was totally manipulated with THREAT OF LOSS. He said if he didn’t disconnect he would lose his girlfriend, his place to live, his car, his job and he wouldn’t get his bridge. He was told by the St. Louis Ethics officer that it was his choice, but if he chose to stay connected he would be declared. He cried when he left our house that day, but nothing like I cried, I’m sure. I don’t even know if he realizes the pain of a mother losing her child. He’s likely being indoctrinated to believe that we are all JUST THETANS and it is a “fake” mother/son relationship anyway. I say this because on occasions when Sea Org folks were trying to recruit my children, they told me, “they are thetans, not YOUR children”!

My mother, Edie Fields, was pressured to disconnect as well – even before we were declared - and she let them know that she would never ever disconnect from her daughter & granddaughter. She told them that she was disconnecting from THEIR suppressive actions.

Jim, Heather, Edie and I are coming to terms with the fact that we are now the victims of what we had defended and protected for years. My child, being manipulated with a threat of loss, has immediately and obediently started blocking me from his life, as if I don’t exist anymore. He’s changed his phone number and blocked us from his Facebook – eliminating us as his family. Eliminated. Gone. Sadly, he calls it his “personal integrity”.

Well, Church of Scientology, the gloves have come off. THE MOST DANGEROUS PLACE TO BE IS BETWEEN A MOTHER AND HER CHILD, and you have so arrogantly placed yourself right there.

Until you issued the SP Declare, full of slander and lies about me, then manipulated my son to disown us - I was willing to silently go about my way. I was willing to never talk about Scientology to Jeremy and I was willing to let him choose the religion of his choice and make his own decisions. He has that basic human right, you know! I knew that my compromise would be that I would be silent about my opinions going forward, in order to not provoke the church – but NO – that was not good enough. Do you really think I will walk away with my tail between my legs, whimpering and sad? Do you really think I will just give up my son and not say anything about it? Are you all completely void of humanity? Read below of the mayhem *cough* we caused to bring this wrath of a “church” upon us.

Jim and I had been in Scientology for 22 years. I served on staff for 5 of those years, first holding the post of HAS then being promoted to the senior executive post of Flag Banking Officer (right before it became a SO post). Pretty much my auditing level consists of Grade 0, FPRD basic and 1D list, and lots security checking! On top of that, I’ve had a lot of admin training, including a few mini hats, OEC Vol 0, FP Member Full Hat and M9 word clearing the entire finance series. As an FBO, during the big IRS tax exemption, I implemented the entire Treasury/INCOMM program after the IRS awarded the tax exemption. Jim has been mainly public, finishing his STCC, Student Hat, TR’s/Objectives, volunteer activities with CCHR & other 4thD campaigns. He had a few brief times on staff in the 90’s and recently in 2008. My mom Edie (now 70 years old) had been on staff for 10 years, and buying her auditing at staff rates. She is a trained auditor, word clearer and a beautiful being. Our daughter, Heather, started volunteering 20 hours a week at age 13 and had been on staff since, finally working over 50 hrs a week while trying to get through schooling, toward the end.

Over the past few years we’ve had points of disagreements and things that just didn’t make sense. Including, but not limited to, direct policy violations and circumstances that just didn’t make sense. I personally have written a lot of extensive KR’s outlining such violations over the years. We’ve commonly just dubbed in what we thought “must” be the case and settled with the “thought-stopper” that it must just be our own MUs.

The following things are only a few things that we have tried to make sense of, when actually they literally don’t make any sense at all. Some of them we consider to be just out right suppressive and against the stated purpose of the CoS. These questions are never answered in a way that resolves the question.

1. If it’s absolutely vital that we get 10,000 people auditing on OTVII – then why is the pricing of Scientology out of reach for the majority of the population?

2. In the early 70’s the cost of ALL the OT levels (if purchased in a package) was $2500 – today it’s close to $500,000 when all is said and done. What level of inflation is that?

3. In answer to the “pricing” questions, we’ve been told it’s because Scientology is for “the able” – however, we don’t think one can judge ability by someone’s bank account. Some of the biggest SPs on the planet are very wealthy.

4. In the inner circle, org staff are considered some of the most able on the planet – yet, if they are no longer on staff and don’t make enough to quickly pay for their bridge, does that mean they are no longer the “able” we want up at the top of the bridge??

5. We heard from personal friends that in the 70’s orgs (and missions) were bursting at the seams. LRH went off the lines, odd things started happening and the orgs started shrinking. Reports went to LRH that David Mayo was an SP – he was declared and gotten off the lines. At that point, orgs should have had huge expansion and grown even bigger; however they did not stably grow. Really? Well, have you ever seen an org bursting at the seams since 1982?

6. Just 3-4 years after LRH died, and with David Miscavige fully in control, orgs have continued to shrink over the long term. We are told Scientology is expanding. Are we to honestly believe that St. Louis org is the only one that has NOT grown in 20 years? I mean stably grown. I’m not talking about the staff count hitting 50, because you turn around and it’s down again. The overall stats at STL are NOT on an uptrend over the past 20 years AT ALL. In fact, stats have been emergency since the 70’s, with some stats, like GI actually in danger and non e. This is denied. However, there is nobody who can prove that the stats are expanding. But let’s don’t forget, we have eyes and we have observation AND we have been around for 22 years!

7. We find it most disturbing that “Scientology has the ONLY workable admin tech on the planet” yet it isn’t working to expand Scientology at the org level. Want more proof? Why is everyone donating every penny, nickel and dime to Ideal Orgs? Why can’t the expanding org, that is delivering more and more auditing and training over that last 22 years afford to just expand up to a larger and nicer location? Why does the org have to resort to “fundraising” all the while the staff is paid far below the poverty level?

8. It’s completely suppressive that staff, considered by most to be the hardest working people on the planet and doing the most important thing for mankind – are paid next to nothing. Pay in class V orgs is so low that it’s impossible to recruit a large staff of competent people (and keep them) because you’re asking them to come on board below the poverty level. A new recruit who doesn’t have someone else who supports them, won’t even be able to afford to buy groceries, and this hasn’t changed in 20 years. If this is the most important activity on the planet – does this make sense to you? It seems to us that LRH never intended it to be this way. He says flourish and prosper, survive in abundance!

9. Very young adults (teenagers) seem to fit the bill well. These children are expected to be “instant adults” and are called “thetans” when in fact, it’s not likely they remember the wisdom of their very last life, and most lack the true wisdom of adults. These young adults have a hard time controlling their own determinism, lacking KRC with life. However, they are easy to indoctrinate into a way of thinking they should do what they do “for the cause” for free, and even if it costs them money to be there. Having a education is secondary to the org’s purpose, and they end up raised as a staff member with little outside world experience. We find this to be an oddly weird. These children are “playing office” while they are getting “trained up” and robotically wielding lightning bolts over all pubic. Dangerous combination!

10. The Sea Org cherry picks local org staff! When they recruit from staff, they claim to “replace” them with new recruits. However, a lot of times the replacements are not viable replacements. If this game is so important and the orgs are so vital, why is it okay for them to cherry pick staff from lower orgs, leaving orgs struggling to always to get hatted up again. We find this suppressive.

11. It’s also completely suppressive to recruit teenagers (heck anyone for that matter) into the SO and then deem them no longer qualified to be on staff, anywhere – if they end up leaving, even if they wanted to join staff at a class V org! Completely suppressive and we are horribly reasonable to not see it.

12. In the Sea Org if you get pregnant, you are off loaded and given your freeloader bill, or you always have the abortion option! Back in the days LRH was around, if an SO member got pregnant they would be sent out to work at a Class V org until their children turned six. Now, they are simply off loaded, given a free loaders bill and told they are not allowed to ever work in any orgs. More resources, to clear the planet, down the drain. Suppressive!

13. Flag coming to class V orgs and regging org public to go to Flag to get their grades, training and do basics in addition to the flag only things…..they say they have perfect auditors and perfectly applied tech….making it feel like we are getting seconds and probably a lot of errors at an org. Even with the GAT.

14. We were told “LRH didn’t write the “Disconnection Canceled” policy, but that probably “some suppressive did it and just put Ron’s name on it”. Well isn’t that comforting? How do we know which PLs were indeed truly authored by LRH? Isn’t it only hearsay at this stage of the game? That PL was written back in 1968. How can anyone be so arrogantly certain that the “reinstatement of the disconnection policy” 15 years later, was really authored by LRH? Think about this statement! When LRH cancelled it in the 60’s he said we had no need for disconnection “because we now have the technology to handle every case”. Ask yourself, does that mean that 15 years later the tech didn’t work anymore, so we needed disconnection again?

15. We were told in the briefing by David Miscavige that LRH decided to drop his body so he could continue his research on upper levels without the hindrance of his body. We were told he was of sound mind and the body was in good health and he was causatively doing this. Yet, after all these years, and after all the lectures, he causatively decided to drop his body without so much as a single personal word to his “following”! That one baffles us. Think about this.

We have experienced pretty horrible situations personally and outpoints so big that they just couldn’t be reconciled. Heather’s experience when she joined the Sea Org and came back to staff was nothing short of sickening! The amount of accumulated bypassed charge I had was incredible. The number of blatant policy violations that adversely affected our family directly through the years are gross and too numerous to go into at this time. Maybe we should write a book as well!

The door to our exit was opened when we watched the CNN’s Anderson Cooper’s show, called “Scientology: A History of Violence”. As unbelievable as this accusation sounded, we actually watched it because our own church spokesperson and others from our church were also on the show. We wanted to see what in the world “we” were being accused of this time, and see how the church defended it.

On the show, we saw fairly recent, very high ranking veteran Ex-International Management members, like ex-CO OSA INT on staff for 25 yrs, Inspector General for Ethics (at the highest level of management for decades), and others of equal magnitude who were accusing David Miscavige of unthinkable crimes! It outlined how the church is ripping families to pieces - unjustly - using our disconnection policy to silence true criticisms. Truthfully, we were leaning toward this being preposterous until we heard our own church’s attorney and our current church spokesperson, Tommy Davis; completely & utterly lie about our church policy regarding disconnection. He and the attorney very believably lied, saying the church has no policy of enforcing disconnection. To say the least, we were stunned to hear this lie and felt additionally that we had just witnessed too much credibility to completely ignore it.

Paul Haggis, a very prominent 35-yr Scientologist (film producer) sent a letter to CNN saying “If they lie about this, what else are they lying about?” That is exactly how we felt. Especially having experience years of many things that just didn’t make sense and ourselves making excuses for too many outnesses.

This started my husband and I on an exhaustive research of the people who were on the show telling their stories. To our surprise, we discovered that these people were whistleblowers! We were not hearing natter, 3rd party or crazy criticism – we were discovering very well written KRs, video interviews, open letters and each discovery opened another “ah ha” moment for us. Now things were making sense! My bypassed charge was decreasing.

Interestingly enough, each and every one of these whistleblowers were subsequently declared. Some were declared for wanting to leave, but most were declared for speaking out against blatant and destructive violations of LHR tech and policy that was NOT BEING HANDLED in decades within the church.

The question we had to ask is why. Why would literally SO MANY dedicated high-level Scientologists of 20, 30 & 40+ years just decide to leave and start speaking out against the church? Are we to really believe that after all these decades of training and processing – or being trusted in the most elite management positions in our church - that they suddenly turned into “suppressive persons” and now want to destroy Scientology? We needed to know WHY they left and what they are whistle-blowing about.

So, for months we researched and with each new thing, turned up something else. Piece by piece our bypassed charge started clearing out. The mass was moving away as things started to make sense now. And to think so many times we thought these mistakes, outpoints and sometimes outright evil dramatizations were mostly because of young inexperienced and often unhatted staff that were running the show these days! Guess what, not only were we wrong in this assumption, we were being reasonable! Out KSW1.

It very soon became very clear WHY the church considers you out-ethics for reading or watching anything dubbed as “anti” Scientology on the internet. Funny, all of us are told that there is danger in running into upper-level confidential OT data that could be dangerous and possibly even fatal to us if we read it – while we’re sure that it’s out there, we never ran into ANY of it in our research. We ran into worse. Much worse! To our horror and without a doubt, we found out that the current church’s own crimes are being exposed by high profile, highly respected veteran international management people, as well as an extraordinary amount of OTs. Many very upstat Scientologists who have donated 100’s of thousands of dollars to Ideal Orgs and the IAS. They’ve walked away and are blowing the whistle. These are people who dedicated their entire LIVES to Scientology and have ended up being labeled as “raving SPs” that the church has to vehemently destroy, with horrible lies and character assassinations.

Further, we have found that people who are discovering this information and talking about it or having doubts about continuing to support and condone the church, are being declared as suppressive persons almost immediately – if the church can’t get them “handled”. We found that the SP Declare was not really being issued as a final ethics gradient, but was being immediately issued as a way to silence the person and to ensure that other Scientologists were forbidden to communicate with them.

Then to just be sure, the SP Declares were written in such a way as to ensure that other scientologist’s viewpoint of them would be slanted and the person’s credibility would be completely discredited. We found proof that in some instances the church utilized confidential confessional information, dropping out time and date of the happenings, to destroy their image. Let me ask you this. Thinking back over every single sec check you’ve ever done, include all your O/W write-ups (leaving out ALL justifiers or so called reasons you committed the OW), and ask yourself, how would it sound if it were taken completely out of context, time and place dropped out and no mention of any ethics handlings having been completed and then put in an issue for all to read? Do you think it would make you look bad?

In our search, we read the stories of hundreds of people. We watched their videos, read what they AND the church had to say in the expose “The Truth Rundown” (published by the St. Petersburg Times) which contained very interesting historical information and facts, as well as fair coverage of what the church’s side is to the whole thing. There were a lot of video interviews of ex-CMOI and WDC upper-management-type people. These interviews stunned us and we had no doubt these people were NOT lying. We read doubt formulas of Veteran New OTVIIIs and highly detailed KRs written by extremely upstat and high level Scientologists. We had the opportunity to evaluate the data against things we’d already experienced and knew to be true.

We discovered there is a huge movement of prominent Scientologists around the world who are demanding that “we” wake up! Most of these people have been walking away since 2004 and they are NOT trying to harm Scientology, these folks are applying KSW1. These Scientologists have come to sadly realize that there is no longer a way for this situation to be handled from within the church and withdrawing one’s support is the answer, per LRH as he describes in The Way To Happiness. He tells you how to handle a suppressive government, he says just simply withdraw your support.

After literally months of exhaustive research, we concluded that it is our reality that the Church is condoning the lying, abuse of policy and tech and covering it up. Ultimately, we could not, in good conscience, ignore the voices of our fellow Scientologists, including, but limited to, Marty Rathbun, Geir Isene, Jenny Miscavige, Ronnie Miscavige, Jason Beghe, Mike Rinder, Amy Scobee, Jeff Hawkins, Mary-Jo Leavitt, Lisa Hamilton, Larry Anderson (the narrator of the Orientation Film), Tom De Vocht, Sherry Katz, Christie Colbran, Paul Haggis, Mark Hamilton, Karen De La Carriere (who by the way, is the ex-wife of the President of the Church of Scientology), and numerous others –

We made our decision - we could no longer condone or support the Church of Scientology as it’s currently managed. Courageously, we, as a family, issued a 14-page letter of resignation to the ethics department of our local org, privately announcing our intention to withdraw our support. You can read our Letter of Resignation here - http://littledoubt.wordpress.com/2010/10/29/jim-meshell-little-open-letter

This blog site was put together composing much of the stuff we researched – just in case one true friend of 22 years respected us enough to realize we had not dropped off the deep end. Just in case they wanted to look. Guess what, not one single person approached us. Yes, sorry – one did. However, we were unwilling to tell this person because he was the son of our very best friends and we felt he was not stable enough to have this information. Compassion, I call it.

We realized we likely would be quickly labeled as SP’s like all others who stood up before us, however, we are not going to be controlled by “fear” of our own Church either. Labels don’t make one “suppressive”, it only stops others from communicating.

We stood up because it was the only thing that could be done. LRH describes the price of freedom. We know that once a few have the courage to stand up, then more will have the courage to stand up. Staff and management will not be able to ignore us for long, because it’s going to become too obvious that we are not ALL suppressives.

For us, so much by-passed charge is gone! Years of things that have never made sense to us, now make sense! Being labeled as an SP by the current management is meaningless – as we have already lost LRH’s Scientology to criminal and corrupt activities.

Then the day came that the church played GOD. The almighty SP DECLARE was issued on our family. I have it below, and I’m making comments on it, however, I need to say something here.

Here are points you need to know:
1. Jim, Heather and I went to the org and privately gave our resignation to the correct terminals in the org. This was not done “publicly”.

2. The HES was mad, said he was going to be the one to declare us.

3. We all walked away that day and the ONLY one to say or do anything else in the light of “public” was Jim. He was mad and when we got home he decided to post on Facebook what we had done, what Matt said and offered if anyone wanted to read our write up. I disagreed with this. He did it, not Heather and not me. Jim was very upset a few times and blurted things out publicly, Heather I and stayed politely private about our feelings and thoughts.

4. Heather silently came home, deleted all Scientology friends and moved on to her next chapter in life, never talking about it again – she didn’t read any sites EVER and she just moved on. She, in fact, had not committed a single suppressive act.

5. We did not get a comm ev. We did not get a Non Enturb Order. We did not get a hearing. We were not asked clarifying questions as to activities, time place form or event. In fact, we were not even spoken to again after that day, except by the DSA who was showing me LRH policy to refute my stance. I knew she cared deeply and hated our decision to do this. However, what she was showing couldn’t answer our concerns or handle the tons of atrocities that our family had experienced over the years that KRs never resolved. With all this mentioned, please see our goldenrod, almighty God, declaration of independence!

STL Ethics Order #2955 21 October 20 10


Jim Little, Meshell Little and Heather Powers of Saint Louis, Missouri, are hereby declared Suppressive Persons per HCO PL 7 March 1965RB I, SUPPRESSIVE ACTS, SUPPRESSION OF SCIENTOLOGY AND SCIENTOLOGISTS.

It was recently found that Jim and Meshell had been using ex-Scientologists and Suppressive Persons as their sources for a study of their religion.

----- First of all, wait, huh? Was this a typo? “study of their religion”? You know, we are not even sure what they are accusing us of here. It almost seems as if they are accusing us of getting field auditing or training from SPs. Well, I think someone should cough up some evidence of this because it never happened. If they mean we have been using these people as a source of RESEACH and INVESTIGATION, then it would be true!

They then forwarded black propaganda statements, enemy lines and falsehoods about Scientology organizations, parishioners and Church principals to other Scientologists, thus propagating them, in an attempt to pull those people off The Bridge.

----- Ok, well first of all would it be too much to ask for a less broad generality here? This would be true if you consider that I talked to my immediate family. With what we have discovered of course I told my mother, my son and daughter! I wanted only to allow them to know where I stood on the matter and to find out where they stood. Come on! Duh! This is the real world and we are a real family. However, Jim did offer to any of his Facebook Scientology “friends” to read our resignation letter to see what our side was. That was Jim and not “Jim and Meshell”.

Through investigation it was discovered that Heather had covertly continued to work as a staff member of the Church while knowingly betraying her fellow staff and making secret plans to resign from the Church.

----- This section on Heather is the sickest and most unjust of all. Let me take this up point by point.

----- The truth of this is that our discoveries were discussed with Heather only days previously; however she did not have the months of research and all the data that we had. She decided she would just finish her contract. I thought this would be okay. However, and get this, Heather is a 15 year old who had been on staff since she was 13. She was not supposed to be working over a certain amount of hours, per the law, because of schooling. She ended up being expected to work at least 40 hours a week and when I said she would have to do a straight day schedule so I could more effectively get her schooling done, her senior, the Cope Off, adamantly refused to allow her to do this unless she also came in on Thursday nights at 9:30pm for weekly staff meetings. This was completely unworkable and yet her senior wouldn’t hear of anything else and wouldn’t approve the schedule stating, “I don’t care about your schooling, I care about policy”. After me discussing this in detail with her senior and getting nowhere, that is when we decided Heather was not going to work there anymore. That is when we decided we had to pull her off staff, compose a resignation letter that would explain our decisions and just walk away. She didn’t even go back to the org once this decision was made.

While appearing to be a Scientologist in good standing, she treacherously began allying herself with known SPs and disclosing confidential parishioner information which was then forwarded to websites run by known squirrels, in an attempt to harm the Church and the parishioner.

----- First thought here is what?? This is 100% lies and complete ASSUMPTION of facts. Heather has never been allied with a known SP, and with the exception of us, she has never communicated in any fashion with declared SPs and still hasn’t. The only thing that comes to mind here is when Heather divulged information about a parishioner who had been offered sleeping pills from the ED/CS and then was subsequently locked away in a mental hospital. Heather had no idea that Jim and I had been researching or our decision, at that time she was confidentially mentioning this to me out of her concern/upset for the parishioner and total shock of the situation. Later, it was Jim who posted this information on the Ex Scientology Message Board because he was blown away by this!

While a staff member of the Church, Heather had a record of continual dishonesty and repeatedly not showing up which dumped work on other staff.

----- This statement is a broad generality. There were times Heather was sick and was not allowed to come to post because she had fever. As for dishonesty, I assume Heather’s fear of speaking her mind is what caused her to seem dishonest. As far as dumping workloads, let’s get this straight. Heather started volunteering at the church when she was 13 years old for NO PAY for 6 months before she turned 14. When she started working for pay at 14 years old she made on average $20 PER WEEK even when she was working up to 40 hours. There were numerous times she came in on her days off to help her senior cover a post, and numerous times she babysit another staff member’s children, on her only day off, for free, so they could be on post.

After investigation revealed the actions they were carefully hiding, Jim, Meshell and Heather presented their resignation from the Church rather than seek an on-policy, honest handling.

----- This statement is a gross and blatant lie. What “investigation” are they talking about? Oh, I get it. Jim posted that confidential information on the ESMB just 2 days previous to our decision to submit a letter of resignation and pull Heather off staff. So on the day that we were bringing in our letter we were confronted with this demand to get on the meter. We finally figured out that they were trying to find out how this information had gotten on the internet. It’s very real to me that they would think magically just because they almost got us on the meter that we created a 14 page resignation letter in the hour before they demanded we come to the org for a metered interview and take all the credit for having cracked the case. OMG. They found the right “why” again!
When confronted and given an opportunity to avail themselves of standard Scientology technology to resolve this matter they refused the help offered by Church staff members and then spread lies regarding them.

----- Yes, the HES did offer the day of resignation to show us the “truth” disputing what we believed. The HES, HAS, and COPE OFF sat down with us, after quickly scan reading over our letter and proceeded to tell us how wrong we were. How we had been tricked by SPs. We asked if they had ever looked at what we researched or had they only read what the church is saying about the people saying it. The HES said he had read the church’s dead agent material and need not read more. We asked him if he knew who Pat Broker or Annie Broker were and he had no clue. That sealed it for us. We remember people used to bad mouth Dianetics and when you asked if they had ever read the book themselves or read anything by LRH, they would say some similar thing…..realize, you can’t have an intelligent conversation under these circumstances. We decided there was no way we could be “handled” if they were unwilling to read or listen to what is actually being said out there. This conversation was over.
After this, in exchange for financial gain, Jim then offered his pre-paid legal "services" to help others get refunds and leave the Church.

----- Well what do you know a piece of truth. However, this is only partially true. Jim offered it because he had seen where other people who had left got their unused donations for services back using Pre-Paid Legal services. While others were have trouble getting them because they had no legal representation or advice. He has not made a single dime off this. I’d like to also point out, Heather and Meshell had nothing to do with this either.
A review of Meshell's ethics file reveals an unchanging pattern of out-ethics towards her fellow Scientologists. These include using Scientology communication lines for profit, heavy promotion of dishonest investments which cost her fellow Scientologists tens of thousands of dollars, driving some of them to hardship or bankruptcy, that she continued to promote against clear direction from the Church that it was unethical. Deeper investigation shows a continuing pattern of pretending to be a knowledgeable and ethical Scientologist while, in fact, squirreling Scientology materials to stop action and enturbulate others.

----- Well, this is an interesting attack on me for sure. Especially when all I did was submit the resignation letter and carefully went silently about my way. They reviewed my ethics file and found information from over 12 years ago and twisted it to use for their own ends in this SP declare. It’s quite gross in my opinion.

Let me address these points. First of all I’m confused by the first point that there is an “unchanging pattern of out-ethics toward her fellow Scientologists”. This is a broad generalization that truly makes me sound horrible. Quite interesting that the things they are mentioning came from a decade ago and since that time I served on staff again, took courses and even had auditing! Do you think this would have happened if I were as described?

The second line was something referring to heavy promotion of dishonest investments. This is twisted up with adjectives added to ensure insidiousness is portrayed. However, let me say it was, sadly & embarrassingly PARTIALLY true. First, there was no heavy promotion and I was not doing this to harm anyone, nor do I believe it was dishonest – however we were ALL tricked and we ALL lost money. Some lost more than others and I took a lot of responsibility and felt more than horrible about it! I did my ethics conditions over 12 years ago and it was completely resolved back then. I have letters from some of these people letting me know that they did not hold me responsible for their losses, because we all knew (in fact signed papers to the fact) that there was risk involved.

The sentence stating “using scientology communication lines for profit” – well, I’m not really sure what all this is about, however, the church, not understanding MLM or Network Marketing, is making it sound very weird and evil.

Line up 50 staff members from Sea Org to orgs and take a survey. Many have NO IDEA what or how network marketing works, and prominent others encourage Scientologists to take advantage of this type of business ownership to make a living! My business partner, Sharon Lyman, and I started a business that was done via network marketing and SOME of the people who were involved were our friends, who were scientologists! It was introduced to us by Scientologists and we had all hoped to make a lot of bridge money.

So these statements just clearly show these young adults wielding lightning bolts again. No worldly wisdom, just uneducated opinions.

The church started dictating to me and Sharon, that the product we were selling and promoting was unethical. It was educational materials teaching people about their rights as tax payers are and taught them how to create legal tax shelters. The church came down on us and said we could not promote the material because it was not true blah blah blah. Even though we heavily disagreed with this evaluation, it ruined our business as we had to stop promoting it. Then, to bring this up over a decade later and act like it’s somewhat current and continuing (or even that it was unethical in the first place) is obviously done to harm my reputation.

Additionally, during this time, my business partner, Sharon Lyman, decided to get drastic with the whole tax concept and personally decided to opt out of the income tax system – she literally stopped paying taxes! I didn’t do this, and expressed to her that she shouldn’t do it either. Later, when she wanted to do scientology services again, she was told she would have to pay back all the taxes if she wanted to come back on services. Even though she fully believed she was within her legal rights (even to this day), she complied. It was THIS that caused them to have to file bankruptcy.

If this is the best they could do to show how evil I am, pulling things from 13 years ago from my ethics file, leaving out important information, twisting it into all one weird event then being so vague that I don’t even know what I’m accused of is highly evil, unethical and low toned! It was done ONLY to make me look bad.

It then said that I pretend to be a knowledgeable and ethical Scientologist while in fact squirreling the materials to stop and enturbulate others.
Well, all I can say here is what are you talking about? First of all, I am quite knowledgeable and pretty ethical by most standards. Oh, I think they mean I didn’t donate enough money to the IAS and the Ideal Orgs. Well, I guess I’m guilty.

They are not Scientologists, they are squirrels. This is evaluation and I have not seen any proof of this accusation. Sadly, they (the church) are liars.

"Suppressive acts are defined as actions or omissions- undertaken to knowingly suppress, reduce or impede Scientology or Scientologists."

Jim and Meshell Little and Heather Powers are guilty of the following Suppressive Acts:






Additionally, Heather is guilty of the following Suppressive Act:


All certificates and awards issued to Jim Little, Meshell Little, and Heather Powers are hereby cancelled. Any licenses or agreements that they may have acquired to use any of the trademarks or service marks of Dianetics or Scientology are likewise cancelled and any membership agreements that they may have signed with any Church of Scientology are also cancelled.

Should they come to their senses and recant, they may apply steps A-E as covered in HCO PL 7 March 1965RB I, SUPPRESSIVE ACTS, SUPPRESSION OF SCIENTOLOGY AND SCIENTOLOGISTS.

Their only terminal is the International Justice Chief via the Continental Justice Chief.


Glad you and your SP family all got out. It's very difficult to suppress the Church of Scientology all by ourselves, we need everyone we can get.


I actually had the honor of talking to IJC one time on the phone. She told me (in her fifteen year old voice) that she would love to be able to lift my declare, but she didn't have any files on why I was declared in the first place. Would I be kind enough to send her a statement explaining why I was declared?


I actually had the honor of talking to IJC one time on the phone. She told me (in her fifteen year old voice) that she would love to be able to lift my declare, but she didn't have any files on why I was declared in the first place. Would I be kind enough to send her a statement explaining why I was declared?

Man, that's a rough one. Yikes. :omg:


Troublesome Internet Fringe Dweller
What an awful experience, my thoughts are with you.

No doubt the people left at the St Louis Org are justifying their actions as per L Ron Hubbard's own policy in regard to handling disconnection, specifically:


Tape: 6608C02 “Suppressives and GAEs”

Tape: 6608C25 “The Antisocial Personality”


HCOB 24 Apr. 72 I C/S Series 79 PTS INTERVIEWS

HCO PL 3 May 72R Exec Series 12 Rev. 18.12.77 ETHICS AND EXECUTIVES





HCO PL 20 Oct. 81R PTS TYPE A HANDLING Rev. 10.9.83


You will see that these policies go back more than forty years, as do most other policies and practises which directly result in the treatment you have experienced over the last 20 years or so. There is no action which cannot be justified as per KSW and the deliberately mendacious "greatest good" mind manipulating thought stopper. As you emerge from the cult you will find more and more people who have shared the same journey and have decades of experience in coming to terms with the illusory promise of Scientology.

It is not a flimsy platitude when I tell you: you are not alone. Welcome.


Gold Meritorious Patron
I actually had the honor of talking to IJC one time on the phone. She told me (in her fifteen year old voice) that she would love to be able to lift my declare, but she didn't have any files on why I was declared in the first place. Would I be kind enough to send her a statement explaining why I was declared?

This is some really funny shit, Uni!!! :hysterical:

Welcome to new life, Meshell! :)


What an awful experience, my thoughts are with you.

No doubt the people left at the St Louis Org are justifying their actions as per L Ron Hubbard's own policy in regard to handling disconnection, specifically:

You will see that these policies go back more than forty years, as do most other policies and practises which directly result in the treatment you have experienced over the last 20 years or so. There is no action which cannot be justified as per KSW and the deliberately mendacious "greatest good" mind manipulating thought stopper. As you emerge from the cult you will find more and more people who have shared the same journey and have decades of experience in coming to terms with the illusory promise of Scientology.

It is not a flimsy platitude when I tell you: you are not alone. Welcome.

Well said. :goodposting:


Meshell ~

That's quite a story. I'd like to comment on some of the aspects of your Scn history and offer up some small advice... which may or may not be useful.

First off - I'm amazed that you and Jim spent 22 years "being Scientologists" but you never actually progressed past grade O. You didn't mention whether Jim actually progressed through any of the grades or to any advanced levels. If I misunderstood you feel free to correct me.

In the Scn I was in (I left before you joined) you weren't actually Scn public unless you were on a course or currently getting your grades or otherwise advancing up 'The Bridge'. More and more, as I read these stories, I see tons of people who have left the CofS, many after a decade or two of "being in", but often with no discernable progress up the levels. So... what were you doing there? And I mean that sincerely... what was the glue that kept you identifying yourself as a Scientologist while not actually progressing through Scientology?

The thing that sticks out to me is the reaction of your son. No doubt that is extremely painful... as it would be to me... but the same question about his commitment and progress lingers. He's 19... so how much progress has he made up the levels? What prospects does he actually have for obtaining anything of personal value (in the form of auditing or auditor traing) from being in the CofS? It seems to me that is an important question and may be a vital wedge in getting him to see more clearly how disruptive the CofS has been to his family... you are his family, so he is damaging his family with this ludicrous disconnect. No doubt the time will come, probably soon, where you will have an opportunity to attract him to your current view rather than attempt to take his view away from him.

Advice -

Hubbard and the "tech" is not special, nor is it even particularly useful. If you strip away all the Scio-speak and acronyms and the thousands of examples of "explaining Scientology by using Scientology words".... you pretty much end up with a bunch of common sense maxims with another bunch of guided conversations layered on top of stuff that we all pretty much understood early in life. I don't mean to lecture you here but really... the point I want to make is that Scientology is special to most Scientologists for the simple reason that they decide it's special.

Which brings this up -

Who cares what some org somewhere or some staffer writes, says or decides? Like the SP Declare (which I can tell upsets you)... it has only the significance you attach to it. You left. Jim Left. Edie left. In the actual world this is similar to trading in one car for another. If the car you got rid of wasn't suitable and created problems for your mobility would you be concerned how the manufacturer felt about you after you bought a better car?

That's how I think ex-Scn really ought to view Scn. As a thing they tried, used and then moved on from. Sure, if you owned a Corvair and were a part of the Corvair Owners Club and had dinner with the club, partied with the club, married another Corvair owner and (at one point in their life) believed that Corvairs were the best and only viable car ever to roll out of a car-making plant... then I understand that you might have some trepidation about getting rid of your Corvair.

But suppose you did... because, I dunno, you read an ancient copy of Ralph Nadar's "Unsafe at any Speed" and realized Corvairs were a threat to your life and the lives of any family or friends who rode in your Corvair. I'm pretty sure you could move on without feeling like Corvair Owners were somehow powerful enough to make you feel bad. Even if they were your friends and family. Sorry it's taking so long to get to my point...

Scientology only has the power over you that you give it. While that sounds Hubbard-ish, it really is just another bit of common sense. Except for your son the only thing the CofS can control in your life are those things you allow it to control. And in the case of your son... I'd be willing to bet that the more silent you are about Scn the more he will be drawn to wondering why you aren't upset... why you aren't efforting to fight the CofS. And, since you brought up money you offered to him, I reckon that's the vector he will re-enter your life on. Most staff can only exist at any reasonable level of comfort with outside financial support. If it was my son I'd treat him like a loved and important part of my family who just happens to have a bad meth habit and cannot be trusted out of my sight for a second.

I think you'll get him out. Not by efforting.... but by just not thinking Scn, doing Scn, caring about Scn, discussing Scn or even resorting to Scn when it comes to your own life. As long as he sees you as potentially recoverable he may linger. Otherwise, I'd bet he's outta there soon.

Sorry about the Corvair BS... I used to own a really cool one. But it was a flippin' death trap!


Master of Disaster
I actually had the honor of talking to IJC one time on the phone. She told me (in her fifteen year old voice) that she would love to be able to lift my declare, but she didn't have any files on why I was declared in the first place. Would I be kind enough to send her a statement explaining why I was declared?

This would have been a golden opportunity to tell her: "LRH said: If it isn't written, it isn't true. If you have nothing written on why I'm declared, then you should cancel the declare."


New Member
Ensifer - Very very good observation on your part! :happydance:

I am going to address your questions, however I certainly want to take the time to address it correctly, as I have a lot of answers for you. It's too late tongiht to get into as much as I want to say, but I will at least address this one small part.

Regarding myself - why I didn't progress up the bridge any further. First off, while on staff I wasn't allowed auditing during my "study time" until I was fully hatted for my post. I wasn't ever fully hatted for a post, due to constant musical chairs in HCO (done by the ED) that kept me and my husband literally taking turns holding reception nearly all the time. I was the HAS for the first couple years and had all the other hats to wear for the post as well. Study time was rare. My write up mentioned I had experienced things over the years that just couldn't be reconciled and sincerely adversly affected my family......this stuff started during my first 5 years in Scn, while on staff and firmly planted MAJOR "doubts" in my universe. I was very versed in policy and seeing it violated nearly all the time with excuses of "making it go right"....blah blah blah....used to fit whatever circumstances someone wants it to, certainly took it's toll on my confidence in the group. I have story after story I could tell, and each of them enough to make most folks just call it quits.

A lot of people though, me included, somehow end up blaming themselves. We end up thinking it must just be me. I must just be "out-ethics" somehow, I must just have crashing MUs, I must just not be "with the program" as I am certainly NOT that dedicated. I kept bouncing back for more until I was a ball of bypassed charge. In the end, I couldn't even go to the org without just being pissed off. I could see it was humans lives that were being F***ked with. I could see the covert little half truths being used to sell things. The scene was just too much for me in the end. My daughter was on staff and going through complete crap!

Ugh....you know...the bottom line is I just didn't have enough confidence to spend the thousands that was asked for. My experiences did not make me want to get some messed up auditing only to have to pay more money to fix the messed up auditing.....

During that 22 years I took div 6 courses, like Special Course in Human Evaluation etc. I spend money on my mom's auditing, my husband's auditing & courses, my son's auditing and I paid for what I got. We went to almost all events, volunteered and even joined staff again shortly in the beginning of 2009.

Did I consider myself a Scn'st, well yes. One who sure needed some clean up. I put myself on the correct lines several times for clean up and it always boiled down to a big lot of money. But I also had a lot of bypassed charge on our local org terminals who had been directly involved in some of the situations that I went through. All of these things were KR's.

You know, I could go on and on and it just brings up so many awful memories for me. I was done with the church and wanted to just move on. However, you have to understand that THE biggest reason we resigned was because of such blatant policy and tech violations. The actions they took after we privately resigned completely validated our rightness and this publication shows it.

We had friends that I thought should know the truth....not that I had much real charge on that part.

Gotta go, more later..:)


Silver Meritorious Patron
Welcome...I ask the question, LRH lied about his past then what else has he lied about?

If you read the boards you'll find out that he lied just about everything:omg:.Well, at least that is my conclusion.:yes:



Patron Meritorious
If you read the boards you'll find out that he lied just about everything:omg:.Well, at least that is my conclusion.:yes:

I agree with that. I was just presenting the question as something to think about for those that believe that Hubbard is a saint.