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My bridge to OTVII

".... Another 5 minutes and I felt I would go crazy or hysterical if I did not figure out how to get this to stop. Right now, while writing this my heart is racing , hands shaking, I can again feel my desperation of that "session". Anyway, I did the only thing I could think of to end it, it was a conscious surrender to a solution that I was suppressing, I launched my self over the desk sweeping every thing on it to the floor, a coffee mug smashed against the wall.....I was going to fucking strangle him, then pound him into the ground until he stopped asking me those fucking questions, but I knew I could not take any more of that and I was going to do as much damage as I had to, just to make him stop. He stood up in shock, his eyes following the debris flying across the room I put my weight against his chest and slammed him into the adjacent wall, my right hand around his throat. All his hostile bravado was now gone, a look of terror on his face. It was an old wood panelled office with glass windows across the front so every one in HCO could see us, in the corner of my eye I saw people scurrying for cover, the whole area emptied. I cannot really remember what I said, I wish it were something really cool or scary. But I think I just said or yelled,' I don't have an evil purpose' (LOL) Seeing I had regained control or more precisely the upper hand, I then excused myself, got my wife and left."

Marvelous! You really should consider writing as a profession. You clearly have ability. You leave us wanting more, which is the true test
for a writer.( As for myself, I really wish you had done for that fellow a bit more, but I digress...)
 

Type4_PTS

Diamond Invictus SP
I can not write to save my life, so I apologise before hand.

Kevin,

On another thread I was reading something made me click on the link in your signature "My bridge to OTVII" and once I began reading your story I could'nt stop. Thanks for putting it on here, I'm sure it will help many others still IN that may be lurking here on this board.

Larry
 

Kathy (ImOut)

Gold Meritorious Patron
Feral/Kevin,

You are an excellent writer. Your story is very touching. For the life of me, I have no clue what I was doing when you were busy posting this. But I've finally caught up. LOL!!!

I don't know how you and Mrs. Pattycake did it all - auditing on OT VII and taking care of your daughter. You both are amazing.

I don't know what all you've done with your daughter (since most of the words of her ailments aren't in my computer dictionary), but have you looked into stem cell therapy? I can send you a link. Or put you in contact with someone in Taiwan.

I'm really glad I caught up with your story (and Mrs. Pattycake's).
 

Aeval

Patron
Thanks for your story so far Feral. It is filling in many blanks I had about the ANZO scene.

With regards to the children being so heavily recruited by the SO, I heard a story about one long time OTVII whose daughter took LSD to stop all the recruit cycles. The story was told to me to explain his absence from the Melbourne scene for over a decade. I don't know if it is true, but I don't doubt it.

Neo

I definitely thought about doing that.

I just got to the point where I said I had. (mostly cause I couldn't figure out how to get my hands on any.

A funny thing started happening at flag around this time too, on arrival all people on OT VII had to do an ethics interview, that is before the sec check. The MAAs started asking all the men if they masturbated, it was a metered interview, this went on for about a year or two, before someone came back to reality. But for now they were going to stop this evil and clearly abberated practice once and for all. If the answer was 'yes' you got to do ethics conditions and a reading assignment to correct it. One guy said to the MAA, "It's my dick!" I don't know how that turned out for him!

I remember when I was auditing others in the Co-audit, (taking off tags, etc. and i got sick and tired of pulling the masturbation "overt"... So I finally told the co-audit sup I was getting a sign over my spot that said "everybody masturbates, I don't need to hear about your flow 0 sex life."

hehehe


_______

Feral, thank you for writing your story.. it was amazing, emotional, and inspiring.

I want to reiterate the admiration I feel for you and your family, and I wish you all the best.
 

Ex_SaintHill

Patron with Honors
Wow Feral, I just read your whole story in one go. Took me about 2 hours, and it was like reading a book. Your story really touched me, and I am happy that you shared it. While reading I felt like being on a rollercoaster of feelings. I actually had to cry a bit while reading some parts.

One thing which really touched me was your and your wife's love and care of your daughter. I can imagine what a hard time it must have been for you.

I had a similar tragedy in my life, although not as long lasting as yours. My brother had a very bad car accident, and was in coma for 3 months. He also had brain damages, and the doctors didn't know if he would survive. I stayed day and night in the hospital with him for those three months. For about another year he was in a wheelchair, and was doing REHA. I slept in a room with him and had to carry him to the toilet every night as he couldn't control his bladder, and couldn't walk. I had to practice speaking with him, as he lost most of his abilities to do so. This went on for about 2 years.

He is now doing ok, but he is just not the jung energetic guy he used to be.
So, hearing how other people went through things like that always reminds me of that time and makes me a bit upset.

Hmm, maybe this should be written in a different thread with my story, and maybe I'll do that in time.

Again, Great story, and keep it up!
 

MAX YOUR CREDIT

Patron with Honors
How did I let my viewpoint get supplanted by someone elses? How did I buy so much information without questioning it?


Yes, I understand how you feel. Its been about a year and half for me since I blew. And I still ask myself that question.... :duh:

I'm doing so much better now! New friends and career is back on track. My attention is not being distracted by all the nonsense I had to deal with
on a daily basis. The best part for me is enjoying my freedom!
To wake up in the morning and not be fearful is a big accomplishment for me! :)
 

Feral

Rogue male
Sorry MP, check your PMs.

We went back into drought here this year and by October it was looking very grim. Kept us very busy in feeding stock and trying to keep everything alive.

It's since rained and we might be in for a change of season, so long as we get follow up rain.
 

Kathy (ImOut)

Gold Meritorious Patron
Sorry MP, check your PMs.

We went back into drought here this year and by October it was looking very grim. Kept us very busy in feeding stock and trying to keep everything alive.

It's since rained and we might be in for a change of season, so long as we get follow up rain.

Kevin,

If I could, I'd send you some of our water from TX. My lawn is one giant sponge of water.
 

smartone

My Own Boss
Feral, Just read your story. Very moving. You are one tough OT! Now we all know what REAL freedom is like.

I feel that even if "someone had stuck their neck out while you were a young and bushy tailed Scientologist chomping to get through the second wall of fire" I don't think you would have listened to them because you wouldn't have been ready to. It takes bad experiences with the Cof$ or less than the expected auditing gains for someone to go into Doubt.
 

Winston Smith

Flunked Scientology
Feral, Just read your story. Very moving. You are one tough OT! Now we all know what REAL freedom is like.

I feel that even if "someone had stuck their neck out while you were a young and bushy tailed Scientologist chomping to get through the second wall of fire" I don't think you would have listened to them because you wouldn't have been ready to. It takes bad experiences with the Cof$ or less than the expected auditing gains for someone to go into Doubt.

Not sure why I popped into this thread, but smartone I had both less than expected auditing gains and I also saw that OTs all around me were just as mortal as me. For one, I actually believed I would be able to communicate to anyone about anything after Level 0. :roflmao:

Also I was floored that very senior OTs could be nasty as hell along with never exhibiting OT ability. That more than anything else made the little wheels turn in my head toward getting out.
 
Y

your_a_douche

Guest
There also was another woman I am ashamed to say, it was not a fling, I was looking for a way out and she had 'fallen in love' with me.

tell us how old this "woman" was. i'm guessing 14.
 

Feral

Rogue male
I thought you'd be a troll when I saw your tag! Welcome to ESMB.

She was 26. She's now 30.
 
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uncle sam

Silver Meritorious Patron
Hey Feral-

tell us how old this "woman" was. i'm guessing 14.

The newbie"your-a-douche"---left me with the same feeling [Feral] you got. The New York Times had a long article recently about the numerous usage of the word 'douche'--gosh some of the osa types are allowed to read a newspaper. Ya can't help but notice-how-in the midst of all the great things going on in Oz and how Feral -one of our esmb heroes-gets hit-so quick----why do they bother-I guess since they can't clear anything they do what we do--go online to read "esmb".
 

Panda Termint

Cabal Of One
I guess we can expect much more of this sort of stuff.

It's pathetic.

Whatever happened to the days when the old GO used to be able to grab scrawny critics, journalists and politicians et al. by the scruff of their necks and give 'em the fright of their life?

Lift your game, OSA, you're in a fight!
 

Axiom142

Gold Meritorious Patron
I guess we can expect much more of this sort of stuff.

It's pathetic.

Whatever happened to the days when the old GO used to be able to grab scrawny critics, journalists and politicians et al. by the scruff of their necks and give 'em the fright of their life?

Lift your game, OSA, you're in a fight!

It almost doesn’t measure up to even being pathetic. Is this the best they can do – puerile insinuations?

C’mon OSA and your minions, let’s see some fight from you!

Or have you given up already? :bigcry: Perhaps it’s for the best, continuing to support a suppressive organisation is going to cave you in, after all.

Ax
 

Mrs Pattycake

Patron with Honors
get the whole story

tell us how old this "woman" was. i'm guessing 14.

Hi Douche ( LOL )

its Feral's wife here ... just so all who read this know - there was nothing covert about this "other woman" . Kev and I discussed it , did lower conditions, solo nots repair lists and ruds in order to address the 2D - all the data went into our folders and at the end of it all we decided to separate and then he started a relationship with the "other woman".

Read my story to get the full picture. Needless to say after a few days we realised the separation had been a big mistake. You know the stats on marriage breakups where there is a disabled child is 80% ...

You can try and make a scene out of it but you will end up looking the fool - there are no "overts" or crimes hiding in the closet here.

OSA you won't easily black PR Kev, all his real friends know that he has a heart of gold, integrity and loyalty to his friends and courage by the buckets full.

We laugh at your pathetic attempt to make something out of nothing :D
 

Alanzo

Bardo Tulpa
tell us how old this "woman" was. i'm guessing 14.

Dave?

Is that you?

No one left at OSA? You have to read everyone's PC folders yourself now?

Make sure to put toilet paper in the bathrooms, too. The FBI will be there soon, and you'll want everything to go well for them, won't you?
 
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