My brief history and my evaluation of all this church stuff

Hello. I may not know most of you. From 1985 to 1994 I was in and out of the SO only making it through the EPF twice of the 6 attempts. I was a bit of an ethics particle and had some aberrations on the 2D. And I had a study bug and made it go right to stay away from course so my highest training is staff status 1 and before being routed off course in 2002 or 3 and then declared in 2004 as a public I had done a third of the PTS/SP course. I gained my ability to confront data after the SO when I went through hell and should have been another Scientology casualty. My confront of the simplicity of truth came up.
So this is my observation and evaluation on cases such as we're talking about that are occurring in the RPF and elsewhere.
You can reduce any case or any crap that is turning on either by confronting the original source that has the force such as in auditing or in any other way that one can confront or remember that original incident, Or, by confronting and not resisting the present time manifestation of that original incident. That's why being able to experience anything when genuinely done works. That's why a touch assist when done so it works works. But if a guy can't blow through it, it's out gradient. It's a suppressive target. What I mean by a suppressive target is a target or a goal that someone gives you that is so difficult to achieve that they are setting you up for a loss. That in effect is suppressive.
People having medical issues and coming close to dying or dying is simply evidence of a very suppressive target being administered. Any basically good being can be placed on a program that he can win at. The SO and all Scientology organizations can be re-organized and arranged so that beings are on winning programs and definitely not on suppressive programs.
(as in the popular pepsi commercial in the US[don't know abroad])-WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!..........what is love . .baby don't hurt me. . .Don't hurt me. . .No more... (song "What is Love" by Haddaway)

Richard La Motta
(1982 win at comm course at 5th Ave mission in New York. 1984 suppressive targets for me at New York Org. 1985-1994 suppressive targets in Sea Orgs. Did sell 2,000 books in 1986 on NY Org staff. Cool. They keep letting me back in suppressive target for me Sea Org (6 times). 1994-1998 Life is very tough and forces my confront way up. Want to clear planet and more able than ever and feel good and start helping. 1998 Get declared type III. Perplexed. Pay my freeloader and get back in in 2000. Doing better on course than ever. No huge study bug. Not validated. Something is wrong. My selectee is not put on a winning program for her. She blows. I wrote to RTC about it. Totally ignored. No comm.
Anyway, my ruin in 1982 was inability to get 2D. Still have that ruin. Outpoint. My ruin should have been handled by now. Fell in love with my selectee but this just brings me down and no 2D is created. I'm given data by ex-SO "friend" of how church had been taken over by David Miscaviege and am shown how data has been altered and deleted. My stable datums are used to turn me against church. Third party occurs to me and to church about me. Non-enturb order in 2003. SP declare in 2004. Don't trust Freezone don't trust church. 2005-early 2008 couple of attempts to do A to E. On last try my finances are destroyed. I stop. I long for 3rd dynamic and for 2D with common reality.
I discover XSO and ESBN. Cool! What? They don't know Scientology works? WTF. All kinds I guess. But can anyone disagree that communication helps to heal? So I'll join in the communication. I will NOT disconnect! Thank you XSO and ESBN and I'm sure I'll find more.:happydance:

Attention Unit(Richard La Motta):)


Hey Richard...

Thanks for putting all your cards on the table. It's good to know who or what or where someone is at, straight up - and you certainly haven't beaten around the bush!

It looks like where you sit right now isn't the best place, but at least you've found this bunch, with whom you are communicating - and yes, communication does help to heal, for sure!

You're not alone in your experience within the SO ranks, nor with your scenario on the 2D - that 2D thing can be and/or is a bitch of a thing, for the best of us! Emotional stability isn't necessarily a walk in the park, and neither is sorting out where one stands in relation to Scientology and the CofS!

Keep up the reading (and a willingness to change your perspective if and when that may be in order) - and keep communicating!

Here's to the days, weeks and months ahead - helping you to get to a real good place!


EP - Ethics Particle

Gold Meritorious Patron
Another one arrives!

Welcome Richard! Glad to have you with this wonderful, diverse crew! :yes:

Were you day or foundation?

Roy, the EP's EP


Great post Richard!! Good to see you posting and getting it all out. Looking forward to reading more! :thumbsup:



Honestly not meaning to hurt your feelings in any way, but your post is written almost entirely in thick Scientologese and significant portions would only be understood by a veteran staff member. With my 7+ years of Sea Org staff experience, it's clear enough to me; but, I'd say the majority of the readership here are going to think it's mostly "Scientology gibberish".

Please try to use Standard English as much a possible, if you wish to reach the widest audience here, Rich.

Anyway, welcome to ESMB.

Michael "The Sneakster" Hobson
I am *not* anonymous