My Descent into FanatIcism and the Hard Climb Out

[Jim Faust]

Yes. I guess I didn't make that clear. It was so cool that I don't think more than a month or two has ever gone by that it doesn't cross my mind. That was my fleet period between mechanic's school and Nuke School. San Diego is tough to beat when you are 20 and it's spring into fall. I got lotsa Navy stories. No combat. More McHale's Navy kind of shit. Sex and drugs and rock and roll and shit.[/QUOTE

moar?

 

[SPsince83]

Yes. I guess I didn't make that clear. It was so cool that I don't think more than a month or two has ever gone by that it doesn't cross my mind. That was my fleet period between mechanic's school and Nuke School. San Diego is tough to beat when you are 20 and it's spring into fall. I got lotsa Navy stories. No combat. More McHale's Navy kind of shit. Sex and drugs and rock and roll and shit.[/QUOTE

moar?

Well, where to begin......

I was in the last ever American draft. 1972. I was 19 and finishing up my first year at UC Riverside. Voice major. I decided to join the Navy to get out of the Army and I also decided that if I was going to do it, I wanted their best school, so I signed up for Nuclear Power School, a six year commitment. In exchange I would get a thorough grounding in math and physics at the lower division level plus some chemistry and engineering. I did pretty well at it until they made the mistake of telling us of the ACTUAL capacities of a George Washington class missile submarine.Each sub had 16 Poseidon missiles. Each missile had 8 MIRV warheads of 1 megaton each. That is 10 times the power of Hiroshima. Each. Times 8. Times 16 per boat. And we had 41 boats. That means we had the power to level EVERY CITY ON EARTH. Not including land based missiles. And not including the Russians, British, French, Chinese and Israelis (who somehow became the only nuclear player in the Holy Land). Pretty appalling, huh?

So I decided I was a conscientious objector. I did a lot of research focusing mainly on Ghandi and King on the philosophy of non-violence and wrote a 40 page application and sent it up to the Pentagon. While I was waiting, I had to continue my duties or face court-martial for dereliction of duty. I finished NPS and then went to the fleet in the conventional Navy to wait. I was sent to the USS Hancock, CVA-19, an old WWII Essex class carrier. We thought it was REALLY old, but actually it was barely 30 when I got there. The Enterprise and Kitty Hawk are still in service after nearly twice that age. The nice thing about the Hancock was that it was ported in Alameda and was in the middle of a year long refit, so it was the same as any other Bay Area job. I got an apt in Oakland near Lake Merritt, had a Honda 350 motorcycle, 21 years old and ready to PARTAY.

 

[Jim Faust]

Part 11

Isolating myself from the contagion

After my review of my history in the cult, I could clearly see how peer-pressure and threat of ultimately being declared and shunned had successfully functioned to coerce me to act and not act in multitudes of ways, and I resolved to limit my susceptibility to this coercive influence by taking drastic and fundamental measures from that point forward.

Firstly, I resolved to break off contacts with my literally hundreds of long term Scientology acquaintances and friends, for I knew that the Church would try to use those contacts first to persuade me to return to the fold, and failing that, to threaten me with their loss thru disconnection. I decided to deny the church that weapon before it could be wielded to coerce me ever again. I would try to find friends in the wider world by seeking out people of good intent and by trying to mend fences with those upon whom I had earlier turned my back, and I would henceforth try to lose my elitist attitude of being an OT or "big being" superior to and alienated from "wog" or "raw meat" individuals who were not in the select group.
Secondly, I decided to forgo more than half a lifetime of Scientology business contacts, and to make it a policy from that point forward to no longer base my business or income-producing strategies on people who were connected to Scientology. I needed to start over completely financially and create a new income producing enterprise, somewhere as isolated from Scientology's ability to threaten or damage it as I could find.

Thirdly, I had to take back control of my own mind, thoughts, and beliefs. I knew full well that some of the data in Scientology aligned with my own experiences and beliefs; it was in fact the frequency with which I encountered things in Scientology early on that made sense to me that lulled me to make a subsequent and terrible mistake: i concluded that since Ron had been right about so many initial things that I could observe to be true, then he was probably right as well on subjects about which I was uncertain, or even things that seemed off or wrong to me. This is exactly the path that one follows to go from being an independent investigator with veto power over all conclusions, gradually and by small steps, to being a gullible fanatic, even willing to lie or do harmful things to others or oneself in the name of protecting the group.

So I resolved two major actions to combat the degree to which my thoughts and mind had been taken over by Scientology. To start with, I would attempt to stop using Scientology's specialized vocabulary and jargon when I talked to others and in my own thought and analysis. Additionally, after years spent learning Scientology "policy and tech", I would make a concerted effort to expel it completely from my thought processes or practices. I kept no books, dictionaries, expensive series of policies and technical bulletins, no tapes, and no meters. I just tried to banish the "tech" from my mind. Now I knew there would be basic concepts that I still operated on and believed, such as helping people with whom I came in contact, or using friendship as opposed to enmity when dealing with others, but I decided to call all beliefs, thoughts, and ideas regarding which I possessed personal certainty based on my own experiences "my ideas" as opposed to Ron's ideas. I also resolved to be guided by only these concepts of which I was personally certain, and to put everything else into the "unsure and not to be trusted or relied upon" category till I eventually decided based on my own experience that it was either true or false. Thirdly, I decided quite conclusively that those beliefs and ideas I had adopted over personal misgivings in a misguided effort to become a good Scientologist (i.e by creating a cult personality the was senior to my own) were foreign, alien, and fallacious ideas that I had erroneously taken on, and I needed to recognize them as such. Step by step, I discarded ideas that had been "stable data" for me for the better part of three decades.

I was very shaken by what I had come to conclude after my weeks of reflection and reevaluation. I was embarrassed by the degree to which I had been taken over by this ideology and now had to conclude, been duped and fleeced. I was no longer a young man. I had to start life anew, with new friends and a new place. I had very little money and would need a new livelihood, car, house, and furniture. I had given Scientology the fruits of my life from 21 years of age to 48. All my children joined the Sea Org even before they finished high school. It was not a overall picture that made me feel proud,. I was humbled and very disappointed in what I had allowed to happen, but I realized that my progress from that day forward might be proportional to the amount of crow I could stand to swallow then

 

[Jim Faust]

Part 12

Under The Radar. Till Now

I needed to get my life in order right now, I felt. After so much time spent tied up with the cult, I didn't want to have the rest of my life spent combatting and opposing it, stuck to it as if it were my own personal tar-baby. I didn't want to have to deal with the harassment and dirty tricks that I'd witnessed the Church use against its critics during many years of first hand experience. Even though I now believed firmly that the Church did far more harm than good, and I knew I was completely done, I decided to keep my conclusions to myself. I just wanted to get on with my life, and I hoped to maintain my connection to my kids, even if I knew as Sea Org members they would not agree with my going "off lines".

I explained to those who tried to get me back "on lines" or to "handle" or "recover" me over the next 18 years about my mishaps at Flag, that I just didn't feel I was getting results commensurate with the effort and expense required to be on the OT levels, that I decided I needed to get my life in order, that I got tired of feeling pushed around and "out code of honor", that I wasn't interested in taking any services "at the present time", any "acceptable truth" that would explain my inactivity. But I did not publicly depart the Church, ask off the mailing lists, publicly criticize the Church, or align myself with critics or Anti-Scientologists. I avoided saying things that I knew would end me getting declared SP, added to an enemy list, attacked, or declared "fair game".

Was this the right thing to do? On the one hand it gave me a time to recover from the effects of Scientology in peace, and to create an existence that was simpler, happier, more successful financially, and more normal. On the other hand I have had to censor myself and bite my tongue when talking to staff or prior acquaintances trying to "handle" me or get me to buy books or take services again, including my own kids. I kept receiving piles of unwanted promotion and calls from blocked, unknown, or spoofed numbers. And as I followed the news of important departures and watched documentaries and video blogs of critics or read their print blogs, I often wanted to cheer them on or add my two cents, and I chaffed at feeling my voice muzzled and silenced.

No one wants to be harassed, sued, or fair-gamed. No one wants to lose contact with one's children, other family members, or loved ones. But many brave people have spoken out before me and suffered those things, in a courageous effort to make known the truth of Scientology's abuses, crimes, deceptions, and betrayals. Without their visible acts of courage, I and many other people would probably still be living out unhappy and damaged lives within the group, isolated, cowed, and with no hope of exit. And many new people would have been drawn into the same seductive trap that captured me in my own "prison of belief." After reflection, I feel quietly escaping and avoiding hostilities with a group that has from its inception shown a vindictive tendency to try to destroy defectors and critics was the right thing for me to do.

But now it is time to face what has been scaring me and keeping me quiet. I am not a criminal, a suppressive person, or a psychopath because I finally came to the honest conclusion that Scientology wasn't working for me and was in fact harming me and many others. I have a right to state and write my own opinions without being harassed, injured, and called a bigot, a hater, or a Nazi. I've been silenced and muzzled long enough. I'm telling the truth as I experienced it and am willing to be counted

 

[Mimsey Borogrove]

Oh, I don't know, they almost lost me with Shireen. That was seriously fucked up! And Dany sure better get her other babies and go back and rescue all of her homies in the pits, cause they look seriously outnumbered and surrounded. If she just flies off and leaves them, she's not the queen I thought she was. I'm saying, tomorrow's episode better show some slivers of light, because that world is getting as depressing as Flag in 97 after 4.5 years on 7!

how can the dead King be defeated? They sure obliterated the Free Folk's encampment two episodes ago. Except for one well-placed slash with valerian steel, that was a complete rout by the white walkers. Shit, please let us have some glimmers of hope Sunday. The good guys are getting the shit knocked of them on every quarter.

I think it's going to be a cliff hanger, and it's going to catch us up to the end of the books. Mimsey

 

[Terril park]

I think, Candy Swanson and Arnie are now Just Married.

Candy's not married.

 

[Jim Faust]

Part 13

Closing Thoughts

To any of you reading this who may still be in the Church, clearly you must be having your own doubts and reservations to have investigated this far; by all means, read everything you can, and realize that life outside Scientology is not only possible, but will very likely be a better one, once you stop overriding your own secret misgivings. It's far easier to live when you're not denying and overriding your own thoughts and point of view.

To those of you who have never been in Scientology, don't be too harsh in judging all members of the group past and present as fools and weak-willed people. Some of the finest, most competent, and best-intentioned people I've ever met were Scientologists. For whatever reason, humans are very susceptible to the inducements of dangerous and even murderous political and religious groups that operate by taking advantage of vulnerabilities in their converts and gradually instilling in them fanaticism, sometimes with horrible consequences.. Scientologists who begin to seek an exit from the group need compassion, understanding, and support, not derision. Land they will need time to recover, cause this stuff sticks like glue

To those of you like me who have exited Scientology quietly and now lurk on the Internet keeping up with goings-on in and out of the cult, I hope that you also are one day able to bear witness to the truth of the experiences, abuses, and disappointments that led you to depart. I am convinced that there are many more people who have left than remain in. So many voices are silent.
And to those of you who have been willing to face up to the harassment, reprisals, character assassination, legal actions, and loss of your loved ones and still speak out and shine a bright light on the horrific actions of LRH, DM, OSA, the armies of lawyers and PIs, and staff and public acting as their unwitting minions and enablers; I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are my heroes.
There are so many of you who helped me to come to my senses, who told really heartbreaking stories that the world needed to hear, who made me laugh, who expressed insightful things so much more concisely and eloquently than I could ever hope to, who braved years of dirty tricks and harassment and even criminal behavior, and who fought for truth against a vengeful and remorseless foe possessing great power and unlimited funds determined to silence your voices. I only wish that every person who has ever devoted years of their life getting ensnared in the diabolical and near-perfect trap of Scientology would dedicate a few months reading or viewing what you have said. I know this list is by no means complete, but all of you helped me and illuminated parts of the path out of the darkness for me:

Tony Ortega, Jon Atack, Russell Miller, Paulette Cooper, Victoria Christman, Chris Shelton, Jeffrey Augustine, Karen de la Carriere, Bent Corydon, Gerry Armstrong. Hana E Whitfield, Mark Rathbun, Mike Rinder, Jessie Prince, Mike Goldstein, Andre and Mary Taboyoyan, Matt Pesch, Mark Bunker, Spanky Taylor, Lawrence Wright, Janice Reitman, Jason Beghe, Paul Haggis, Leah Rimini, Katie Holmes, Mark and Claire Headley, Tonja Burden, Jenna Miscavige Hill, Nancy Many, Astra Woodcraft, Jeffrey Hawkins, Tom Devocht, Jim Dincalci, Kima Douglas, Ken Urqhart, John McMaster, John Ausley, Lawrence Wollersheim, Richard Demille, David Mayo, Merrill Mayo, Steve Hall, John Brousseau, Debbie Cook, Nancy Dincalci, Anonymous, Polly Grubb, Helen O'Brien, Sara Northrup, Barbara "Kaye" Klowden, A E Van Voght, Jack Horner, Ray Kemp, Art Ceppos, Dr. Joseph Winter, John Campbell, Don Purcell, Mike McClaughry (must see vid), Vaughn Young, Stacy Brooks

My email address should anyone want to comment or ask questions is [email protected].

 

[Jim Faust]

THATS ALL FOLKS!!

All that remains is the pre-quel to this narrative, the four years from 1967-71 that changed my life and the world in chaotic and devastating ways, and that led me to the point I could join the SO on a near whim. I'm still working on this period, to make sense of it. One day I'll write it up, and when I do, it will be posted here.

to you who have read this thread all the way to here, thank so much for your interest, for your well-wishes, for your gracious and thoughtful replies. You all have bestowed upon me a precious gift--understanding! A burden of silence and isolation has been lifted from me!

​FINIS

 

[SPsince83]

Part 10

"Evaluate the intentions and statistics of that group, and its creator, casting aside all bias and rumor"

I also decided to look at the Church of Scientology itself in an unbiased way, its main people, its activities, what good it was doing, what harm it was doing, not through rose-colored glasses, with a prohibition against all critical thoughts, but just at the actual results, statistics, and actions without bias. For the first time ever, I decided to do what anyone trying to honestly evaluate a subject comprehensively would have to do: look at data, pro and con, and use my own judgment and common sense if there were contradictory claims of truth or veracity, looking at actual evidence and corroboration, until It was possible to conclude what was most likely the true state of affairs. For the first time I was going to get more than just the Scientology side of the story. I was going to see what was on the Internet that I'd been told for years to not read or look at. Instead of taking Scn's word for it that everything there was a pack of horrible lies told by psychopaths and suppressive persons, I was going to review whatever evidence was there and come to my own conclusions. Of course this was completely forbidden, but I felt it was something I needed to do.

I started reading and continued link to link for 3 weeks 12-16 hours a day. I read accounts of people I personally had known to be very dedicated and well-intentioned Sea Org members, but who now were "out" and spilling the beans. I also focused on the accounts of many, many people who had either known well or worked very closely with Hubbard from the 30s through each decade up to his death, many of whose names I knew from them being mentioned in glowing terms by or given trusted senior positions by LRH himself . I read books such as Jon Atack's "A Piece of Blue Sky", affidavits from court cases, excerpts from other books and investigations into Scientology. And I compared the things that were revealed there to the explanations and stories of the same events as they had been described by LRH, by Church PR staff, and Church defenders.

A lot of my inquiry focused on Hubbard himself. With one or two exceptions, I found the stories of ex-Scientologists, ex-wives, one time close friends of Hubbard, even LRH's own previously undisclosed letters, writings, and diaries were credible and described a person of completely different behavior and motivations than the ones that had been presented to me and all other Scientologists. We had been taught to look at him as man's greatest friend and benefactor, as one of the greatest geniuses of all time. What really struck me is how many people over more than 50 years of his life who were at one time very close to him, including almost all of his family and top execs working directly under him, whom he turned on, denounced, and attacked. Either he was the worst judge of character ever, or he had a tendency to fall out with almost anyone who became close to him

The essence of LRH's character, modus operandi, motivations, veracity or lack thereof, products, habits, health, and psychological and spiritual functionality or disfunctionality is a large and complex subject that I have actively pondered for nearly 50 years. Since he is the source of almost every part of Scientology, it would appear that all evaluations of the worth and utility of the subject itself must start with him. My analysis during that first three weeks, amplified by exhaustive research in the 18 following years, led me to an assessment so starkly different from the story presented by LRH himself and Church PR operatives that the validity of Scientology itself as a religion or as a business selling anything worthwhile was completely discredited for me.

I have come to a number of conclusions after my analysis of Hubbard's behavior and life, some of which I will quickly summarize. I believe he was mentally and emotionally quite disturbed. From his teenage years, he was a chronic exaggerator and fabricator about his own experiences, exploits, and qualifications. He repeatedly utilized lies to gain advantages, rewards, and results that he couldn't get honestly, which in common and simple terms is called being a con man.

Despite decrying any kind of substance abuse and demonizing anyone who had a drug history, he was observed by many people for decades as late as the 70s drinking copious amounts of hard liquor and taking large quantities of illegally obtained prescription drugs.
He had a violent temper and was at times quite cruel, brutal, and vindictive. He strove to destroy utterly anyone whom he saw as a threat or detractor, and he decided eventually most people who were close to him were out to get him.

Despite presenting a public image as a family man and insisting on Scientologists avoiding any type of sexual impropriety, he was married 3 times, once bigamously, abandoned all his wives, had numerous adulterous affairs, had a reputation for seducing other mens' wives or girlfriends, took part in magical sexual rituals, and fathered 7 children, all of whom he eventually abandoned to a greater or lesser degree.

He was very motivated by money, was heard by numerous individuals to say in the late 40s that the best way to make a lot of it was to start a religion, and from the beginning of Dianetics to the end of his life went from a state of near-poverty to running a group worth somewhere around $200 million.

He cultivated an image of being cause over (senior to and able to control) matter, energy, space, and time and having OT abilities, yet he had bouts of depression, crying fits, smoked 5-6 packs a day of unfiltered cigarettes, had rotten teeth and foul breath, was obese, suffered a number of severe heart attacks, had accidents like the rest of us, died at 75 of a stroke, and was found at his autopsy to have an anti-psychotic drug in his body. In short, he was a disturbed but highly successful charlatan.

I know that I am only presenting conclusions, as opposed to detailing the evidence that convinced me of them. There are a number of exhaustively researched biographies as well as great quantities of official records, first hand accounts, his own writings etc. available online adequate to convince anyone with the time and constitution to review all of it. Many previously dedicated and fanatical Scios besides just myself spent a while reviewing the data there and departed the group forthwith, realizing quite simply that they had been lied to and duped.

Of course, some die-hard members characterize the mountains of damning evidence now available easily for anyone wanting to evaluate Hubbard as being 100% forgeries and lies concocted to smear the greatest man who has ever lived. But the group's near hysterical efforts to keep their own membership from reading or watching anything critics say or present as evidence of the true character, actions, and motivations of LRH speaks volumes to how persuasive is the data unearthed by 65 years of independent investigation and enquiry into his life.

I would suggest that any person contemplating getting involved in Scientology, or any friend or family member of a member, or just any person concerned with human rights, would find it worth some time better educating oneself before coming to a conclusion, as opposed to accepting the validity of the self-serving propaganda put out by Scientology.
By the end of my my first three week foray delving into the online world of Anti and Ex-Scientology, I had already returned all of my confidential OT materials to Flag, stating as I did so that I was going to cease auditing the level for the time being, I had enough information that i no longer had any interest in participating further in Scientology.

I understand about only being able to write about the conclusions and not the path to them. You would practically have to research and rewrite Cooper, Atack, Corydon and everything on Clambake just to begin to explain the journey back to sanity and even then the reader has to do the research himself to get the full picture.

You got to mix it child
You got to fix it
Must be love
It's a bitch, alright

 

[Jim Faust]

I think it's going to be a cliff hanger, and it's going to catch us up to the end of the books. Mimsey

They got to give us a few glimmers of hope. They've been kicking the shit out of all the decent people till I can hardly bear it!! I got it figured that Jon, Dany, and Tyrion are all secretly of Targaryan blood, and will ally themselves, with Arya and Bran also aiding, but the good ones are dropping like flies, so WTF do I know?

 

[Jim Faust]

I understand about only being able to write about the conclusions and not the path to them. You would practically have to research and rewrite Cooper, Atack, Corydon and everything on Clambake just to begin to explain the journey back to sanity and even then the reader has to do the research himself to get the full picture.

You got to mix it child
You got to fix it
Must be love
It's a bitch, alright

 

[Jim Faust]

I understand about only being able to write about the conclusions and not the path to them. You would practically have to research and rewrite Cooper, Atack, Corydon and everything on Clambake just to begin to explain the journey back to sanity and even then the reader has to do the research himself to get the full picture.

You got to mix it child
You got to fix it
Must be love
It's a bitch, alright

Yes, you can only dig yourself out but it sure doesn't hurt to be handed a shovel!

 

[SPsince83]

They got to give us a few glimmers of hope. They've been kicking the shit out of all the decent people till I can hardly bear it!! I got it figured that Jon, Dany, and Tyrion are all secretly of Targaryan blood, and will ally themselves, with Arya and Bran also aiding, but the good ones are dropping like flies, so WTF do I know?

Ned Stark? Red wedding? In GoT, if you like them, they're DOOOOOOOOOOMED.

 

[SPsince83]

They got to give us a few glimmers of hope. They've been kicking the shit out of all the decent people till I can hardly bear it!! I got it figured that Jon, Dany, and Tyrion are all secretly of Targaryan blood, and will ally themselves, with Arya and Bran also aiding, but the good ones are dropping like flies, so WTF do I know?

Bron is a Stark. Bran is a cereal. Good with raisins.

edit: you made a rare spelling error and I was just yanking your chain.

 

[SPsince83]

Bron is a Stark. Bran is a cereal. Good with raisins.

Tyrion's really my favorite character overall. Of course part of that is Peter Dinklage's brilliant portrayal. Arya Stark is a close second.

 

[Mimsey Borogrove]

I can almost, based on the books and the previous shows, guarantee the last scene will be starring Daenerys and Drogon. In the books, a big deal was made of the witch she burned saying "you have to go backwards to go forward." Mimsey

 

[TheOriginalBigBlue]

Part 11

Isolating myself from the contagion

After my review of my history in the cult, I could clearly see how peer-pressure and threat of ultimately being declared and shunned had successfully functioned to coerce me to act and not act in multitudes of ways, and I resolved to limit my susceptibility to this coercive influence by taking drastic and fundamental measures from that point forward.

Firstly, I resolved to break off contacts with my literally hundreds of long term Scientology acquaintances and friends, for I knew that the Church would try to use those contacts first to persuade me to return to the fold, and failing that, to threaten me with their loss thru disconnection. I decided to deny the church that weapon before it could be wielded to coerce me ever again. I would try to find friends in the wider world by seeking out people of good intent and by trying to mend fences with those upon whom I had earlier turned my back, and I would henceforth try to lose my elitist attitude of being an OT or "big being" superior to and alienated from "wog" or "raw meat" individuals who were not in the select group.
Secondly, I decided to forgo more than half a lifetime of Scientology business contacts, and to make it a policy from that point forward to no longer base my business or income-producing strategies on people who were connected to Scientology. I needed to start over completely financially and create a new income producing enterprise, somewhere as isolated from Scientology's ability to threaten or damage it as I could find.

Thirdly, I had to take back control of my own mind, thoughts, and beliefs. I knew full well that some of the data in Scientology aligned with my own experiences and beliefs; it was in fact the frequency with which I encountered things in Scientology early on that made sense to me that lulled me to make a subsequent and terrible mistake: i concluded that since Ron had been right about so many initial things that I could observe to be true, then he was probably right as well on subjects about which I was uncertain, or even things that seemed off or wrong to me. This is exactly the path that one follows to go from being an independent investigator with veto power over all conclusions, gradually and by small steps, to being a gullible fanatic, even willing to lie or do harmful things to others or oneself in the name of protecting the group.

So I resolved two major actions to combat the degree to which my thoughts and mind had been taken over by Scientology. To start with, I would attempt to stop using Scientology's specialized vocabulary and jargon when I talked to others and in my own thought and analysis. Additionally, after years spent learning Scientology "policy and tech", I would make a concerted effort to expel it completely from my thought processes or practices. I kept no books, dictionaries, expensive series of policies and technical bulletins, no tapes, and no meters. I just tried to banish the "tech" from my mind. Now I knew there would be basic concepts that I still operated on and believed, such as helping people with whom I came in contact, or using friendship as opposed to enmity when dealing with others, but I decided to call all beliefs, thoughts, and ideas regarding which I possessed personal certainty based on my own experiences "my ideas" as opposed to Ron's ideas. I also resolved to be guided by only these concepts of which I was personally certain, and to put everything else into the "unsure and not to be trusted or relied upon" category till I eventually decided based on my own experience that it was either true or false. Thirdly, I decided quite conclusively that those beliefs and ideas I had adopted over personal misgivings in a misguided effort to become a good Scientologist (i.e by creating a cult personality the was senior to my own) were foreign, alien, and fallacious ideas that I had erroneously taken on, and I needed to recognize them as such. Step by step, I discarded ideas that had been "stable data" for me for the better part of three decades.

I was very shaken by what I had come to conclude after my weeks of reflection and reevaluation. I was embarrassed by the degree to which I had been taken over by this ideology and now had to conclude, been duped and fleeced. I was no longer a young man. I had to start life anew, with new friends and a new place. I had very little money and would need a new livelihood, car, house, and furniture. I had given Scientology the fruits of my life from 21 years of age to 48. All my children joined the Sea Org even before they finished high school. It was not a overall picture that made me feel proud,. I was humbled and very disappointed in what I had allowed to happen, but I realized that my progress from that day forward might be proportional to the amount of crow I could stand to swallow then

Jim, This is one of the finest streams of thought I've seen here. It is time for the web site to include a button that expresses a higher level of "Like", or if a post gets a certain number of "Must Read" hits it goes on a special list.

 

[SPsince83]

For you Louisiana types, I'm watching axs TV right now. Shelby Lynne is singing the livin' shit out of "Poke Salad Annie" Gator's gotcher granny!

 

[Jim Faust]

Bron is a Stark. Bran is a cereal. Good with raisins.

BRONN is a sell-sword, knighted after the battle of the Blsckwater, and last seen being sprung from a cell in Dorne.

Bran is Ned's next to youngest boy, who broke his back when thrown out the Winterfell Tower by Jaime in the first episode. He has the Sight and some serious mojo with the Old People.

i beat you to the Google draw this time SPsince83!!!!

 

[SPsince83]

Bron is a Stark. Bran is a cereal. Good with raisins.

edit: you made a rare spelling error and I was just yanking your chain.