My hope for this board

EXorcised

Patron
I'm writing this to clarify for all (including myself) what this board is for.

As an ex Scientologist, I felt like there was no place where I could truly be myself. I felt pressured to conform to a certain set of "rules" about how to think about Scientology & my experience inside Scientology. I was sick of getting abused for defending ex's who found even a glimmer of goodness in Scientology. I was upset that there seemed to be no safe place for ex's to go to share their experiences, both good and bad.

Over the last 3 weeks or so I've been given a lot of advice about what I should and shouldn't do and who I should and shouldn't have on the board. Some want it this way, and some want it that way. Others want it a some other way.

Some say I should have had all this sorted out before I launched the board. Maybe I should have. Some complain that the rules seem to be forming as we go along. I can't deny there is an element of that as I learn what people want and need.

Maybe my idea of just providing a place for ex's to talk was too simple. I don't think it was, but perhaps it need a further defining.

What this board is:

A place where ex scientologists and interested general public can get together to discuss various experiences in Scientology.

A place where where ex's and non ex's can mingle and chat and get to know how the other half think and live.

A place to learn from each other.

A place to support each other.

A place to swap ideas and suggestions.

A place to civilly debate issues so that other viewpoints can be offered and tossed around and horizons can be broadened.

A place to be allowed to defend your position and not apologise for it, yet at the same time allow others to have their own.

A place that people feel safe to expose the abuses of this harmful cult, so the true story can be told.

A place where newly "out" Scientologists can come and be heard and learn and be supported through a really tough period in their lives.

A place to make people laugh and have some fun and to not take it all so seriously.

A place to expose the traps and pitfalls in returning to a "normal" existance, and to learn some tips and helpful suggestions in making this transition.

What this board isn't:

A vehicle to exact verbal revenge on those who have harmed us both inside and outside of Scientology. By that I mean continuing to trade insults & flame wars that are a hang over from past relationships, fueds from other messageboards, chat channels etc.

A place to blame and crucify others for what happened to you. Over time there are going to be people who find other ex members who they feel were responsible for some cruelty that was bestowed on them. Whilst this is understandable, and needs to be addressed, it needs to be understood that EVERYONE did things in Scientology of which they are not proud.

A place to ridicule "believers". People find their way out of the Scientology mindset at different speeds and to different degrees. What they need is understanding, not to be fobbed off and called a "stoopid clam" etc.

________________________________________​


I believe anyone who has been exposed to Scientology for any length of time has had damage done. None of us are perfect, and I doubt any of us would be here if we were all 100% "recovered".​

My hope is that this group of misfits can do some good, for ourselves and for each other.​

I know there will be differing opinions. I know tempers will flare. I know people will say things they don't necessarily mean. All I ask is that you think before you type and ask yourself if what you are about to "submit" is going to cause more harm than good.​

You don't need to like everybody on this board. That would be impossible. It is no different in the workplace or even in family life. But in these situations a "professional" or cordial relationship is established instead. I hope these same social rules can be adopted here.​

I've been criticized for wanting to turn this into a "knitting club" or "afternoon tea party". I think that is bullshit. I don't believe that civility automatically means softness or sensorship. I believe that MORE exposure of the harms of Scientology can be achieved if the atmosphere is civil and friendly rather than one of fear. In other words, I don't want to play "momma", handling spats between people. This is not supposed to be a sandpit. If you want to play the flaming game for the mere sake of flaming, then alt.religion.scientology may be the place for you.​

I don't know exactly what the stats are of people (staff & public) blowing Scientology. But I know there are 1000s and 1000s of people who will be looking for a place like this to help them. When they do start to look, I hope they will find that this board is designed for them. A friendly, civil, intelligent crowd who have had years of experience in and out of Scientology waiting to welcome them.​

Thanks,​

Emma​

No doubt about it...Nice Job. :coolwink: While I feel the need to be anonymous, I feel comfortable in here saying what I think about the twisted science fiction I was being heavily dosed with on course. Thank you very much for this place to unwind, against what is just another evil in a strange world. Science fiction is pretty tame, but when wrapped in NAZI types of indoctrination and twisted psychological technique, Scientology was very damageing.

This is a comfortable place. Thank You again , and again.
 

angel

Patron with Honors
Thank you Emma

Emma,

I am so glad that you clarified your intention for this site. I need the forum that you describe because for years I have felt conflicted between the actual wins I had and the lies I was fed.

I stopped comming to your site a while back because every time I made a post a couple of members would flood psycho jokes back and forth because their experience was such that none of the tech was true for them. They were very harrassing to anyone who ever had a gain. I mistakenly assumed they were the majority here.

I came back to your forum yesterday after thinking about the movie Angels and Demons. From what I can see your members are behaving better in a more debating manner as opposed to condemning. I love it.

Jen, Ex-Scn not Anon
 

auntpat

Patron with Honors
Thank You !

I left Scn in 73 and was unaware of the atrosities that occured after. I am so grateful for this board and the stories I have read. I am sorry that you had to experience them, but you are saving others from the same fate. The stories are a great affirmation to me that I actually knew what I was doing by leaving. There have been times when I doubted the decision. Thanks to this board, no more.
Emma you are wonderful and I admire and respect you, so much. Oh, did i mention gratutide to you and everyone on this board.:goodjob:
 
Its really great

The ESMB is great. If I had had access to something like this after leaving Scientology 1988 my healing process would have gone much quicker.
I get all mushy when I see the compassion and how supportive some of you guys are to people who have recently left Scientology.
Right after leaving is a very rough time if you've been in Scientology a while.
 
Welcome, and thanks, Emma!

Welcome Adrian, I'm glad you found us. It really is a great group, on the whole. I hope you will enjoy and benefit from your time here.

Angel, I'm glad you're back. From reading your posts I feel that you have a great deal of good to offer others.

Darling Emma, you have absolutely created a place of healing and growth here on this board. It will grow and change and does need to be nurtured a bit by us all, to be a safe place to speak our minds and explore our hearts. I've seen a shift in attitude to one of more respect and a desire for clearer communication and mutual understanding in just the short time that I have been here. That's an ongoing work in progress that is co-created by us all, and in which we all share mutual responsibility. But you, Emma, have set the tone for us. Thank you for your important clarification of your intention on this thread. I find your writing to be delightfully lucid and clear, and I feel honored to know such a compassionate person. Even though we've never met, I feel that you are my friend. That is an absolute talent that you own Emma, to be able to create that trust, via this somewhat artificial medium.

You will never know the extent of the good you are doing in the world by creating and "Mothering" this site. It is so badly needed. Many of those helped will stay hidden from public view. The other sites all have their place in the world, and fulfill their various functions, but to me, ESMB is holy ground. From the bottom of my heart on behalf of everyone newly out and feeling lost or defeated, those out for ages but still somewhat unresolved about their past experiences, or still in and really questioning their place in helping to heal and restore the world, THANK YOU! I love you Emma! :happydance:
 

Outethicsofficer

Silver Meritorious Patron
Well stated.

Welcome Adrian, I'm glad you found us. It really is a great group, on the whole. I hope you will enjoy and benefit from your time here.

Angel, I'm glad you're back. From reading your posts I feel that you have a great deal of good to offer others.

Darling Emma, you have absolutely created a place of healing and growth here on this board. It will grow and change and does need to be nurtured a bit by us all, to be a safe place to speak our minds and explore our hearts. I've seen a shift in attitude to one of more respect and a desire for clearer communication and mutual understanding in just the short time that I have been here. That's an ongoing work in progress that is co-created by us all, and in which we all share mutual responsibility. But you, Emma, have set the tone for us. Thank you for your important clarification of your intention on this thread. I find your writing to be delightfully lucid and clear, and I feel honored to know such a compassionate person. Even though we've never met, I feel that you are my friend. That is an absolute talent that you own Emma, to be able to create that trust, via this somewhat artificial medium.

You will never know the extent of the good you are doing in the world by creating and "Mothering" this site. It is so badly needed. Many of those helped will stay hidden from public view. The other sites all have their place in the world, and fulfill their various functions, but to me, ESMB is holy ground. From the bottom of my heart on behalf of everyone newly out and feeling lost or defeated, those out for ages but still somewhat unresolved about their past experiences, or still in and really questioning their place in helping to heal and restore the world, THANK YOU! I love you Emma! :happydance:


I love what you said sweetnessandlight.

I never had this much fun in all the years connected with the "Organisation".

Through this board i've had some great laughs and a few tears.


Thanks Emma:clap: :clap: :clap:


James
 

Friend

Patron
The hope for this board

Dear Emma,
Thank you Emma to take the time and to write emphasises on ESMB rules. It was well written. Keep it up.
I really enjoy being here, read and learn more about the truth of Scientology and get added knowledge; give support to members who you can connect with; ask questions and practice writing skills.
Friend
I'm writing this to clarify for all (including myself) what this board is for.

As an ex Scientologist, I felt like there was no place where I could truly be myself. I felt pressured to conform to a certain set of "rules" about how to think about Scientology & my experience inside Scientology. I was sick of getting abused for defending ex's who found even a glimmer of goodness in Scientology. I was upset that there seemed to be no safe place for ex's to go to share their experiences, both good and bad.

Over the last 3 weeks or so I've been given a lot of advice about what I should and shouldn't do and who I should and shouldn't have on the board. Some want it this way, and some want it that way. Others want it a some other way.

Some say I should have had all this sorted out before I launched the board. Maybe I should have. Some complain that the rules seem to be forming as we go along. I can't deny there is an element of that as I learn what people want and need.

Maybe my idea of just providing a place for ex's to talk was too simple. I don't think it was, but perhaps it need a further defining.

What this board is:

A place where ex scientologists and interested general public can get together to discuss various experiences in Scientology.

A place where where ex's and non ex's can mingle and chat and get to know how the other half think and live.

A place to learn from each other.

A place to support each other.

A place to swap ideas and suggestions.

A place to civilly debate issues so that other viewpoints can be offered and tossed around and horizons can be broadened.

A place to be allowed to defend your position and not apologise for it, yet at the same time allow others to have their own.

A place that people feel safe to expose the abuses of this harmful cult, so the true story can be told.

A place where newly "out" Scientologists can come and be heard and learn and be supported through a really tough period in their lives.

A place to make people laugh and have some fun and to not take it all so seriously.

A place to expose the traps and pitfalls in returning to a "normal" existance, and to learn some tips and helpful suggestions in making this transition.

What this board isn't:

A vehicle to exact verbal revenge on those who have harmed us both inside and outside of Scientology. By that I mean continuing to trade insults & flame wars that are a hang over from past relationships, fueds from other messageboards, chat channels etc.

A place to blame and crucify others for what happened to you. Over time there are going to be people who find other ex members who they feel were responsible for some cruelty that was bestowed on them. Whilst this is understandable, and needs to be addressed, it needs to be understood that EVERYONE did things in Scientology of which they are not proud.

A place to ridicule "believers". People find their way out of the Scientology mindset at different speeds and to different degrees. What they need is understanding, not to be fobbed off and called a "stoopid clam" etc.

________________________________________​


I believe anyone who has been exposed to Scientology for any length of time has had damage done. None of us are perfect, and I doubt any of us would be here if we were all 100% "recovered".​

My hope is that this group of misfits can do some good, for ourselves and for each other.​

I know there will be differing opinions. I know tempers will flare. I know people will say things they don't necessarily mean. All I ask is that you think before you type and ask yourself if what you are about to "submit" is going to cause more harm than good.​

You don't need to like everybody on this board. That would be impossible. It is no different in the workplace or even in family life. But in these situations a "professional" or cordial relationship is established instead. I hope these same social rules can be adopted here.​

I've been criticized for wanting to turn this into a "knitting club" or "afternoon tea party". I think that is bullshit. I don't believe that civility automatically means softness or sensorship. I believe that MORE exposure of the harms of Scientology can be achieved if the atmosphere is civil and friendly rather than one of fear. In other words, I don't want to play "momma", handling spats between people. This is not supposed to be a sandpit. If you want to play the flaming game for the mere sake of flaming, then alt.religion.scientology may be the place for you.​

I don't know exactly what the stats are of people (staff & public) blowing Scientology. But I know there are 1000s and 1000s of people who will be looking for a place like this to help them. When they do start to look, I hope they will find that this board is designed for them. A friendly, civil, intelligent crowd who have had years of experience in and out of Scientology waiting to welcome them.​

Thanks,​

Emma​
 

Fairplay

Patron
Thanks Emma

I too hope this board stays as is. You are brave for doing this. I have perused many sites and your idea/s for this board are honest and caring. As you may know jehova witnessess also have the Disconnection policy with their members. I know two ladies who are jehova witness and have been cut off from their family by the elders. Both have experiences not unlike some in scio who are cut off from loved ones. One of these women has an interest in this board. She thought that only the jehovas inflicted the disfellowship policies and since meeting me she has taken a very strong interest in your site here. She is currently kicked out of Jehovas because she "asked too many questions" It gives her some comfort to know that there are others such as herself. Just a little feedback about this site for ya. Lynettte
 

lkwdblds

Crusader
Don't change a winning formula

Emma, this board has been a Godsend for me. I had been on the internet trying to uncover the riddles of Hubbard and Scientology since about September of 2005. I had limited success, the articles by Kima Douglas, Mike Goldstein, Ken Urquhart, the websites of Robert Dam and Pierre Ethier, etc., etc. I revealed part of the picture but Hubbard still seemed to be more of a "good hat" than a "bad hat" to me.

Arriving here in February of last year, I had certain hopes and goals set as far as uncovering the riddles of Scientology and Hubbard. In the first 6 months I learned an awful lot here but when I wrote my personal story of my experience at CCLA, starting around July or August, my experience here accelerated at an ever increasing rate. The goals I had set back in February have been far surpassed, I have been able to link up with some of the best minds in the world with intriguing dialogues about various Scientology experiences. All my questions about auditing, LRH, DM and all of Scientology are either now answered or are on the verge of being answered. I have blown charge and had case gain doing this and have met some friends along the way.

One thing about Scientology Orgs, some of the finest people one could ever hope to meet were on staff there. Well now many of them are here and with the insane rules in the Orgs banning free speech being lifted, those people are even greater people to be around than they were inside the Orgs.
I would not change anything major about your board. Of course, fine tuning and continual refinements are possible but at this point I do not have any suggestions except for one stated below.

I do have one request though. Someone said that back in 2007 you posted something about how to display photos and videos on your posts. I am not very computer literate and a little hatting on this would be great. Carmelo Orchards, if you read this, the hatting material which you sent me does not work on my computer, I could not even execute the first step.

In closing, I would like to express that I feel out exchange with you. Because of this economy, my construction business is virtually non existent and it is difficult at this time for me to give you financial help. Is there any other means of help which I could offer you to get more in exchange?
lkwdblds aka Lakey
 

OldAuditor

Patron with Honors
Your management of ESMB has been a continuing inspiration

Emma, thank you for everything you have done and continue to do.

I have been an "Indie" for about 7 months and have learned the wisdom of your goals for this board over time.

My viewpoints have shifted and have expanded through exposure to the ideas put forth on this forum. Your willingness to welcome differing viewpoints and your inspired handling of upsets has been an example for me as a blogger and forum administrator.

For me, ESMB functions as a great central clearing house for ideas. The breadth of topics is almost overwhelming at first, but one eventually learns where to get what one needs. At the same time, there is still a place for external "breakout sessions" as in external forums or sites which deal more intensively with certain topics.

There is a synergy that comes from related activities acting in harmony. Your creation of ESMB has inspired me to develop platforms for discussing ideas that I feel are important, but I am a constant visitor to this site also as it is a mother lode of ideas that do not show up elsewhere.

This was a long-winded way of saying thanks for what you have created!

David St Lawrence
Old Auditor
 

The Great Zorg

Gold Meritorious Patron
Eh...,

Well said and written, Emma! :thumbsup:

I'm glad you started this board and I, for one, accept it just the way it is and the way it has been and is managed. :thumbsup:

There's really no comparison here to ARS or WWP: each has it's own distinct personality, as a group or site. :yes:
 

Lurker5

Gold Meritorious Patron
Very Impressive

ESMB has impressed me from the start.

What a magnificent job you have done, Emma (and all).

THANK YOU ! Awesome ! :thumbsup:
 

Megalomaniac

Silver Meritorious Patron
Treat others with respect.

I think there are enough forums (WWP, OCMB, ARS) that permit gross disrespect and ridicule. We don't need it here.

The following is what I thought ESMB was. It's gone too far away from this. That may be fine for you. In that case, you might want to ask that the rules be updated. Then, folks like me won't be confused and we can simply leave.

Forum Rules

1. Treat others with respect.
You are to respect every other user on the board despite any personal, religious and political differences. The following will not be tolerated:
Personal insults
Ad hominems
Threats or promotion of violence

Like it or not, Marty is on this board.

I'm writing this to clarify for all (including myself) what this board is for.

As an ex Scientologist, I felt like there was no place where I could truly be myself. I felt pressured to conform to a certain set of "rules" about how to think about Scientology & my experience inside Scientology. I was sick of getting abused for defending ex's who found even a glimmer of goodness in Scientology. I was upset that there seemed to be no safe place for ex's to go to share their experiences, both good and bad.

Over the last 3 weeks or so I've been given a lot of advice about what I should and shouldn't do and who I should and shouldn't have on the board. Some want it this way, and some want it that way. Others want it a some other way.

Some say I should have had all this sorted out before I launched the board. Maybe I should have. Some complain that the rules seem to be forming as we go along. I can't deny there is an element of that as I learn what people want and need.

Maybe my idea of just providing a place for ex's to talk was too simple. I don't think it was, but perhaps it need a further defining.

What this board is:

A place where ex scientologists and interested general public can get together to discuss various experiences in Scientology.

A place where where ex's and non ex's can mingle and chat and get to know how the other half think and live.

A place to learn from each other.

A place to support each other.

A place to swap ideas and suggestions.

A place to civilly debate issues so that other viewpoints can be offered and tossed around and horizons can be broadened.

A place to be allowed to defend your position and not apologise for it, yet at the same time allow others to have their own.

A place that people feel safe to expose the abuses of this harmful cult, so the true story can be told.

A place where newly "out" Scientologists can come and be heard and learn and be supported through a really tough period in their lives.

A place to make people laugh and have some fun and to not take it all so seriously.

A place to expose the traps and pitfalls in returning to a "normal" existance, and to learn some tips and helpful suggestions in making this transition.

What this board isn't:

A vehicle to exact verbal revenge on those who have harmed us both inside and outside of Scientology. By that I mean continuing to trade insults & flame wars that are a hang over from past relationships, fueds from other messageboards, chat channels etc.

A place to blame and crucify others for what happened to you. Over time there are going to be people who find other ex members who they feel were responsible for some cruelty that was bestowed on them. Whilst this is understandable, and needs to be addressed, it needs to be understood that EVERYONE did things in Scientology of which they are not proud.

A place to ridicule "believers". People find their way out of the Scientology mindset at different speeds and to different degrees. What they need is understanding, not to be fobbed off and called a "stoopid clam" etc.

________________________________________​


I believe anyone who has been exposed to Scientology for any length of time has had damage done. None of us are perfect, and I doubt any of us would be here if we were all 100% "recovered".​

My hope is that this group of misfits can do some good, for ourselves and for each other.​

I know there will be differing opinions. I know tempers will flare. I know people will say things they don't necessarily mean. All I ask is that you think before you type and ask yourself if what you are about to "submit" is going to cause more harm than good.​

You don't need to like everybody on this board. That would be impossible. It is no different in the workplace or even in family life. But in these situations a "professional" or cordial relationship is established instead. I hope these same social rules can be adopted here.​

I've been criticized for wanting to turn this into a "knitting club" or "afternoon tea party". I think that is bullshit. I don't believe that civility automatically means softness or sensorship. I believe that MORE exposure of the harms of Scientology can be achieved if the atmosphere is civil and friendly rather than one of fear. In other words, I don't want to play "momma", handling spats between people. This is not supposed to be a sandpit. If you want to play the flaming game for the mere sake of flaming, then alt.religion.scientology may be the place for you.​

I don't know exactly what the stats are of people (staff & public) blowing Scientology. But I know there are 1000s and 1000s of people who will be looking for a place like this to help them. When they do start to look, I hope they will find that this board is designed for them. A friendly, civil, intelligent crowd who have had years of experience in and out of Scientology waiting to welcome them.​

Thanks,​

Emma​
 

Zinjifar

Silver Meritorious Sponsor
Like it or not, Marty is on this board.

Not exactly. Marty Rathbun dropped in, laid some propaganda on us, faced some questions which he dodged and left, never to return (as far as we know.)

If he *were* still here, he'd still face some questions, but, that's not likely to happen.

Zinj
 

Megalomaniac

Silver Meritorious Patron
Not exactly. Marty Rathbun dropped in, laid some propaganda on us, faced some questions which he dodged and left, never to return (as far as we know.)

If he *were* still here, he'd still face some questions, but, that's not likely to happen.

Zinj

Good points.

Nevertheless, I stand my ground on this issue of respect. The personal insults are getting way out of hand here on ESMB. Anyone going to back me up on that?
 
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