Shiny & Free
Thanks for that, yes that's an excellent way of putting it, stomping all over one's desire to help. I find it very difficult to articulate a lot of what I went through still however indeed so far this is a very therapeutic site and I'm sure in time it will all trickle out. I've not been able to hold down a job since I got booted out, (well I say I got booted out, I did, but it didn't stop them continuing to follow me or bang my front door in to get me to go back, confusing or what!) or be in groups of people without having panic attacks.. well that's another thread I think, musn't get carried away!
There are so many of us who understand. I found ESMB when I was telling a friend a staff story and he looked at me blankly and said "you need to find other exes" because he just could not help. So I did.
I suggest starting a thread in the story section and just adding to it as and when you want to. Take it slowly, don't try to analyse anything, just write. It can be amazingly helpful just to express feelings about what happened and the more you write, the easier it is to let it go as well. And enjoy life again!