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My Story and Goodbye

Lynn Fountain Campbell

Silver Meritorious Patron
Wow. That was great.

But I can't help thinking -- going away and forgetting about it was Tory's original intention too -- except that they wouldn't leave her alone, and look where that led. For your sake -- and theirs -- I really hope they don't know who you are. They've proven they can't learn from their mistakes. They are totally incapable of backing off and leaving people alone. And if they ever start to f*** with you any more than they already have, I have a feeling they'll be really, really sorry.

Lynn
 

dchoiceisalwaysrs

Gold Meritorious Patron
Dear FailmeansFail

Thank you so much for your story. I admired you when I met you years ago and I admire you for taking your life back. You truly deserve it.

Bon Voyage!
 

Kathy (ImOut)

Gold Meritorious Patron
Awesome post.

Would love to read another one of your posts in say 5 years, just to see how it's turned out.

The last part of your last post really resonated with me.

The only piece of advice I’ll offer is this: Scientology is predicated on a single concept – the idea that there’s something wrong with you that you can’t know without Scientology’s help. In my opinion, this is an absolute falsehood. You can know anything you want about yourself, all by yourself. And there is no great, hidden secret. There’s only life.

I’m hopeful. Who knows? Maybe I’ll fuck it up. But if I do, it’ll be me fucking it up and no one else, and I like that idea a lot.


I so completely agree with your statement that I underlined.

I love the idea of me "fucking up". Then at least I know why and how I "fucked up".

Toast: to a life of your choosing and to whatever fuck ups you wish to have in that life. Cheers!!!!
 

Kookaburra

Gold Meritorious Patron
Wow, what a story. Thank-you for writing this. I felt every word. It may truly help some young Scientologists who are looking and considering their options.

Take care and best of luck in the rest of your life. Here is an Irish blessing for you.

May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
The sun shine warm upon your face
The rains fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
 

lkwdblds

Crusader
Touching story!

A very touching story, you are obviously a person of good self awareness and are able to express yourself well. You have already shown resillience and the ability to start over and run your life successfully. I would leave you a parting thought, it is okay to not seek us out but if you cross paths with one of us by chance then don't rule us out as a potential friend just because we too were once also in Scientology.
Lakey
 
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Lulu Belle

Moonbat
One day, I realized it was all bullshit. Now, I’m going to say from the start that this was just my own realization. I’m done telling people what to think or believe about Scientology or LRH. I’m just telling everyone what I came to think, in as abbreviated a form as possible, without intimating that they should believe the same thing, or come to the same conclusion.

Do your own research, come to your own conclusions. Suffice to say that after a lot of research I came to realize that there were only two ways one could resolve all of the contradictions and lies about LRH and Scientology: A. Come to the conclusion that LRH was a super-special individual who quite suddenly arrived at all of the answers and B. There is a long term, planet wide conspiracy that recognized LRH and Scientology as a threat.

I had accepted these two ideas since I was very young. One day the ideas collapsed. It was quite sudden. I remember feeling as if I’d just been turned inside out. I suddenly felt as though I were outside the Truman show, looking in. The Apollo was no longer a semi-sacred ship where the only hope for Scientology (the Sea Org) was trained and put together. It was no longer the vessel where the wall of fire, the true reason for the decline of this sector of the galaxy, was cracked. It was just… a ship. And there was this old guy named L Ron Hubbard who was licensed to captain ships and he took all these people out on this ship and told them to wear uniforms. And later the people went on land and later I was there. And we all wore uniforms and campaign ribbons and buried daggers in the doors of downstat HCOs, and went to sleep worried about the expansion of Scientology and woke up worried about the same. We attacked each day with focused dedication, running down hallways managing organizations and firing missions and weeping at ‘the War is over’, and bursting with pride at the outcome of the Portland crusade. We were absolutely convinced that we were at the hub of the world, the center of the secret of life itself, and knew that we mattered more than anything else ever could.

But try this sometime. If you’re in LA, go to the PAC base. Feel the group agreement of all that Scientology. Now walk five or six blocks away and take a look around. What do you see? Right. No Scientology. Not ‘Scientology is good’ or ‘Scientology is bad’ or even ‘Scientology is controversial.’ NO SCIENTOLOGY. People who don’t care one way or the other and never will. People who will live and die unaffected by the subject, who probably won’t ever think about it except to read the word in a news story. It’s kind of like a scene from a great movie – The Last Emperor – about China’s last emperor. He leaves the walls of the Forbidden City one day and finds that not only is there a whole, buzzing world out there, but it mostly never even thinks about him.

That’s the truth of it, to me. I remember being in CW when the IAS first started making its rounds and all the ‘it came this close’ horror stories they’d tell to get money from people. To hear them talk, you’d think the world really was aware of and focused on Scientology, and in particular that the global conspiracy was after Scientology like nothing else. What I saw, that day the world turned inside out, was that the vast majority of the world is far, far too busy to care. I remember a briefing once for a mission where – I shit you not – the Action Chief leaned forward in the final briefing with a grim stare and said (essentially): ‘this isn’t a small mission. It looks like it, but it’s not. It’s part of an overall strategy that will probably make the difference in pushing things over the top.’ And I remember – I shit you not – the thrill of purpose that went through me. I went to pack and get ready for my plane flight, ready to do my vital part. I remember sitting at the airport, watching all the people, feeling sorry for them because they didn’t know the truth. I completely missed the real truth: I was just a punk kid with delusions of grandeur. Having an SO uniform in my suitcase didn’t make it otherwise.

All the telexes (later Mercs) and missions and stat analysis and danger handlings and evals – it was all directed inward, not outward. It was a gigantic, unending circle jerk that the majority of the world neither knew nor cared about.

What a great post.

It is so, so true.

I came to much the same conclusion very soon after I got out. I blew the SO and moved to another state. I never heard a word about Scientology anywhere. Outside of the small confines of the SO base where I was, no one knew about it and no one cared.

We were legends in our own minds. :eyeroll:
 

SchwimmelPuckel

Genuine Meatball
Wow, Failmeansfail! - That was one hell of a very well written story! - A true classic of a post that will be quoted and referenced to!

Dang! - I hate to see you quit this fight.. You're a freakin' powerhouse! - Should I try to reel you back in with some shame, blame and regret.. Appeal to your sense of justice?.. Duty?.. Lovebomb the hell outta you? - Rekindle your purpose?

Bleh.. I always sucked at that. Couldn't do it when I was a scilon either. I had 'doubts' and misgivings from the start really. Caused inability to be convincingly dedicated. Couldn't bring myself to use the mental judo I'd trained and studied to persuade anybody..

Whatever.. I'll keep on posting shit, and whatever I can figure to do.. I've got family still in, who needs to get out. And I'm thinking of all the other families, not mine.. The Sinister Scam Cult of Scientology needs to go!

I've come to see it as a PR campaign of sorts. Message needs to be repeated over and over... Work that needs to be done..

Hah.. Curiously I find the motivation that I failed to have as a Scientology PR in this fight against it.

Good luck to you Failmeansfaíl! - All my best wishes..

:yes:
 

Daddio

Patron with Honors
Awesome post.

...

The last part of your last post really resonated with me.

The only piece of advice I’ll offer is this: Scientology is predicated on a single concept – the idea that there’s something wrong with you that you can’t know without Scientology’s help. In my opinion, this is an absolute falsehood. You can know anything you want about yourself, all by yourself. And there is no great, hidden secret. There’s only life.

I’m hopeful. Who knows? Maybe I’ll fuck it up. But if I do, it’ll be me fucking it up and no one else, and I like that idea a lot.


I so completely agree with your statement that I underlined.

I love the idea of me "fucking up". Then at least I know why and how I "fucked up".

Toast: to a life of your choosing and to whatever fuck ups you wish to have in that life. Cheers!!!!

First, thanks failmeansfail, for your very moving exit story. And I also raise my glass in Kathy's toast. :cheers2:

I'm also grateful to those ex-members that remain to fight the good fight. With your experiences as a guide, I have a damn good reason to get people I know involved in helping a good cause.

The people I'm referring to wouldn't have any other way of knowing that scientology exists as a serious problem for real people.

So, thanks to (almost) everyone here :thumbsup:

Alan
 

Blue Spirit

Silver Meritorious Patron
One Hell of a Story

That was a VERY moving story.

It still staggers me how the S.O. can take so much out of one without
valuing and helping to support their most valuable members, instead giving them the ultimate make-wrong of a Declare or an RPF when a mistake is made,
or NOT.

By those standards LRH himself would have been kicked out long ago ! :omg:

The Sea Org case is SO insane and way down the tone scale and they have the biggest Service Facsimiles imaginable.
They are parasitic, sucking out all of one's theta until there is little to sometimes NONE left.


At any rate I send you a BIG measure of Admiration and wish you the very best.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
Vibrant storytelling!

Better stories ahead.

But first.....

Please do a standard ESMB ROUTING OUT FORM.

And CSW who your replacement is going to be. We're not letting you out of here that easy!

If you try to blow, just remember, we've got all the train & bus stations and airports covered!
 

honduras

Patron
What a going away message!!!!!

Damn, that was so perfect. I don't think there is anything else worth reading that will make a difference to me as much as that going away message did. If that letter was written to everyone in the Sea Org you could honestly say, "I told them so" and be done, walk away like he is doing knowing he did the best he could do. This guy has great talent and I am sure he will be as successful as he wants to be. That was the best plain set of truths from someone with the inside experience in the C of S I have ever heard.
 
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