Ive never really spoken about my time in the Church. Only my family and one of two close friends know I was a Scientologist, and that I was married. I don’t tell people, because frankly, it sounds too weird to talk about.
Ive never spoken about it out of fear of retribution, fear of hurting those I care about who are still in the CoS, and the fact that I still believed in the effects of overts and natter and the fact that I really don’t think Im a bad person and therefore didn’t want to “act like an SP”. Since hanging around the forums and reading the stories of people who have been long-time Scientologists and left, Ive begun to realise that Im not an SP. I simply chose what was the best course of action for my dynamics and Im glad my personal integrity won out over the harassment. Although the huge guilt of leaving has been with me for the last 4 years.
I don’t think Ive been declared as yet, previously was quite scared of it – because it would hurt like mad that people could think such a thing when they knew me so well.
Having said that though, Ive been out of the church for years, and despite silent phone numbers and several house moves, they keep trying to find me. Im sick of it, Ive had enough, I don’t want to be harassed anymore. Perhaps telling my story will put them off. A declare may finally give me some peace. Go ahead OSA.
It all started when I was dating a guy in my last year of highschool. His family were scientologists (the Craven family, now either all on staff or in the SO). I was curious about all the books they had, and started asking questions. They helped me understand the actions of my mother, who is schizophrenic and a perfect text-book suppressive. That was the ruin that got me interested. Davids parents bought us the Comm Course and I quite enjoyed it. I liked the org, everyone was nice, warm, caring. The ED was Andrew Bromwell and the DED was Lynley Bromwell.
I was recruited onto the TTC when I was 18. It was obvious at the time that I was only being recruited because they wanted to use me as leverage to recruit my boyfriend – I was openly told that in the interview – and then potentially his family could be recruited too. I didn’t mind, I thought they were doing this for a noble cause. I wanted to be an auditor. I was currently at uni doing a geological engineering degree. I wasn’t enjoying it much, and when I was told auditor training was the equivalent of a degree, I thought that was a better option. So I dropped out and worked on staff instead.
I trained up to ClassIV internship GAT auditor but never get much auditing myself – I was too PTS - I suffer from migraines. The fact that my mother was schizophrenic and heavily opposed to the church was a huge problem. I was not allowed to take painkillers, and have had more PTS handlings than you can poke a stick at. It got to the point where I was being flat-out told “your migraines are from sugar” despite the fact that I had never originated anything of the sort. The DED would get angry at me every time I ate anything sugary, and I even had some nasty staff try to tell me my item was friends of mine that had routed off staff. I went on a very strict diet of protien drinks, vitamins and all that stuff recommended by that dietician LRH liked. It didnt work. I still get massively pissed-off if people try to tell me what causes my migraines. I KNOW what causes mine, And it ISNT BLOODY SUGAR!! Wrong item anyone??? Since getting out of Scientology I have since been able to handle them completely.
Anyway, when I was 19 I got married to my boyfriend because it was expected, and because we were trying to go to FLAG for training and were told we would have to if we wanted to share a room. I remember an IAS speaker asking us when we were planning to get married when I was still 18... I was shocked at how normal he thought that was. After being in the Church for a year, I thought it was normal too. Funny how your perceptions change.
My whole family was opposed. The wedding was put off 3 times due to problems with my family and there were so many times I wanted to call it off.
Most of the problems I had in the church centred around the problem of my SP mother. Now I still agree that the woman is nuts. She is a terrible mother and I try not to have any contact with her. However, many incidents occurred (including my mother-in-law being instructed by DSA staff to try to make my mother cave in. She tried, and other than getting slapped, had no effect) and a lot of it was to try to get my mother to sign an affidavit that she wouldn’t sue the church. She threatened to go to the media, she threatened to get deprogrammers, she did the works. The more DSA and the execs tried handlings, the worse it got.
more story to come...
Ive never spoken about it out of fear of retribution, fear of hurting those I care about who are still in the CoS, and the fact that I still believed in the effects of overts and natter and the fact that I really don’t think Im a bad person and therefore didn’t want to “act like an SP”. Since hanging around the forums and reading the stories of people who have been long-time Scientologists and left, Ive begun to realise that Im not an SP. I simply chose what was the best course of action for my dynamics and Im glad my personal integrity won out over the harassment. Although the huge guilt of leaving has been with me for the last 4 years.
I don’t think Ive been declared as yet, previously was quite scared of it – because it would hurt like mad that people could think such a thing when they knew me so well.
Having said that though, Ive been out of the church for years, and despite silent phone numbers and several house moves, they keep trying to find me. Im sick of it, Ive had enough, I don’t want to be harassed anymore. Perhaps telling my story will put them off. A declare may finally give me some peace. Go ahead OSA.
It all started when I was dating a guy in my last year of highschool. His family were scientologists (the Craven family, now either all on staff or in the SO). I was curious about all the books they had, and started asking questions. They helped me understand the actions of my mother, who is schizophrenic and a perfect text-book suppressive. That was the ruin that got me interested. Davids parents bought us the Comm Course and I quite enjoyed it. I liked the org, everyone was nice, warm, caring. The ED was Andrew Bromwell and the DED was Lynley Bromwell.
I was recruited onto the TTC when I was 18. It was obvious at the time that I was only being recruited because they wanted to use me as leverage to recruit my boyfriend – I was openly told that in the interview – and then potentially his family could be recruited too. I didn’t mind, I thought they were doing this for a noble cause. I wanted to be an auditor. I was currently at uni doing a geological engineering degree. I wasn’t enjoying it much, and when I was told auditor training was the equivalent of a degree, I thought that was a better option. So I dropped out and worked on staff instead.
I trained up to ClassIV internship GAT auditor but never get much auditing myself – I was too PTS - I suffer from migraines. The fact that my mother was schizophrenic and heavily opposed to the church was a huge problem. I was not allowed to take painkillers, and have had more PTS handlings than you can poke a stick at. It got to the point where I was being flat-out told “your migraines are from sugar” despite the fact that I had never originated anything of the sort. The DED would get angry at me every time I ate anything sugary, and I even had some nasty staff try to tell me my item was friends of mine that had routed off staff. I went on a very strict diet of protien drinks, vitamins and all that stuff recommended by that dietician LRH liked. It didnt work. I still get massively pissed-off if people try to tell me what causes my migraines. I KNOW what causes mine, And it ISNT BLOODY SUGAR!! Wrong item anyone??? Since getting out of Scientology I have since been able to handle them completely.
Anyway, when I was 19 I got married to my boyfriend because it was expected, and because we were trying to go to FLAG for training and were told we would have to if we wanted to share a room. I remember an IAS speaker asking us when we were planning to get married when I was still 18... I was shocked at how normal he thought that was. After being in the Church for a year, I thought it was normal too. Funny how your perceptions change.
My whole family was opposed. The wedding was put off 3 times due to problems with my family and there were so many times I wanted to call it off.
Most of the problems I had in the church centred around the problem of my SP mother. Now I still agree that the woman is nuts. She is a terrible mother and I try not to have any contact with her. However, many incidents occurred (including my mother-in-law being instructed by DSA staff to try to make my mother cave in. She tried, and other than getting slapped, had no effect) and a lot of it was to try to get my mother to sign an affidavit that she wouldn’t sue the church. She threatened to go to the media, she threatened to get deprogrammers, she did the works. The more DSA and the execs tried handlings, the worse it got.
more story to come...